A/N wow I had chapter 1 up about 30 minutes and already got plenty of reviews! A big thank you to you guys! What kind of sandwich do you guys think Sephiroth, Vincent, Rufus and the Turks would eat? The most original ideas will be featured in later episodes.
Yazoo kept munching on his own sandwich whilst Loz watched Kadaj attempt to outstare the seagull that hounded them. The bird, unblinking black eye (just the one) fixed on the glowing aqua orbs of the human-ish thing, thought: do not try to outstare me, human. You will not succeed.
Loz saw Kadaj's eyes become dryer and dryer, and decided to have a little fun. Staring contests were no stranger to the two of them, and Kadaj always cheated when he out-stared Loz. Yazoo had often walked into a room to find his brothers looking deeply into each other's eyes, and had long ago decided to simply not ask.
"Mophead." Loz taunted softly. That one was old. Kadaj did not move; Loz tried again. "Shorty." No reaction. "Mama's boy." A very slight movement, but not much, was visible beneath Kadaj's eye. "Why you carry that sword, Kadaj? Got something to prove?" another slight flash of annoyance crossed his face, but was gone within an instant. Neither bird nor boy broke eye contact, and Kadaj wore the perfect poker face. Loz lowered his voice so Yazoo could not hear. "Oprah Winfrey fan." This time, there was a more pronounced twitch. Loz continued quietly: "I know you like to sit and watch chat shows and eat ice cream when you're alone in the house." Kadaj was becoming visibly tense. "Mmm…it's nice to be able to blink. Such a shame you can't." A muscle twitched beneath Kadaj's eye. "Cuddler of fluffy pink teddy-bears!" Loz said in a stage whisper. Kadaj's eyes snapped to Yazoo, who was cleaning out his ear. He showed no signs of having heard. Kadaj breathed a sigh of relief, and kicked Loz.
The seagull allowed itself a quiet moment of victory, and wondered what a teddy bear was.
#6, Attempt to out-stare
Another seagull padded nearby, and the fist charged at it, wings wide. The second bird, stunned, flew away. Do not invade upon my private conflict, inferior pea-brained thing, it thought, and padded back to Kadaj's feet.
"Look, just go away, okay? I mean it." Kadaj groaned. Yazoo was almost finished with half of his sandwich, and Kadaj had not yet started his. That warm chocolate spread… "Please, leave me alone. I'm hungry. Please? Pretty please?" The seagull put its head on one side. You wish, kid. I'm a seagull. I have pride, you know.
#7, Beg
"Just ignore him, Kadaj. He'll go away." Said Loz. Kadaj nodded and leaned back to start his sandwich. Oh, no you don't! Thought the seagull as it threw its head back and squawked, a horrible, rusty sound. Kadaj flinched. The bread had not yet reached his mouth. Was he really going to loose his lunch to a bird? So much for that plan.#8, Ignore
Kadaj lost his temper and kicked out again. The bird staggered back, but did not stop its squawking. Kadaj growled. "Screw this, I'm not missing my lunch 'cos of a fucking seagull!' He murmured, then shouted at it: "Piss off, birdie!" Loz looked shocked.
"Little brother, will you mind your language!" He hissed.
"Sorry, mom!" snapped Kadaj. A tear sprang to Loz's eye.
"Don't cry, Loz." Said Yazoo, regarding a staring mother coolly, with a look that said clearly: "I don't know these people." The bird looked on in amusement.
#9, Shout
Loz and Kadaj both sweat-dropped. "Look! A lady seagull!" Said Kadaj, pointing. The bird looked around slowly, spotted the mentioned bird and made a mental note to look her up later. For now, though, my little human-is thing, I shall live in utmost discipline until I have acquired the flour, yeast and water that is bread.
#10, Attempt to rearrange victim's priorities
A/N By the way, any ideas are welcome…this is harder than I thought it would be. Still, Lilliana will strive to update as regularly as is humanly possible! And give reviewers cookies!