Jason had a huge problem. A major problem. And it wasn't his distinct inability to find a person who would adequately convey the way Chiron went off on his drunk ragers (well, in his song, at least. Chiron didn't drink) and did not reveal just how much Keeping Up With The Kardashians he actually watched.

No. Piper was coming back tomorrow from her Dad's house and Jason still did not have a gift. And the Aphrodite girls were no help at all. Like Justin Beiber perfume was the way to go.

Leo was also no help. At least Jason expected that one. When Jason asked what to get Piper, he responded with "a giant trampoline or a pony. Was this a trick question?"

To which Jason had responded, "No, but it was a serious one!"

Leo muttered under his breath, "I was being serious…"

Jason had walked off. And now he was hiding in the Arts and Crafts cabin, trying to simultaneously think of a gift and write his song. Dress rehearsal was in twenty minutes, and he barely had 2 verses done. And yes. He was sticking with the Kardashians reference. Darn that Drew for getting him addicted!

The only other person in the Arts and Crafts Cabin was Annabeth's little sister, Iliana. She had something safety-pinned to her knee and was doing something very complicated with her hands.

Jason went back to his song. He was almost there. Just a few more lines and…yes! Finished with six and a half minutes to spare!

Iliana came over to where he was sitting and said, "Hey, can you tie this on for me?" She held out her wrist and one of those tie-on bracelets. But now that he looked at it, that was a really intense bracelet. It had swoops and swirls and a fish and stripes and all sorts of incredible stuff.

"Whoa, how'd you make that?" Jason asked. An idea glimmered in the far reaches of his brain. He blamed the close presence of the Athena kid for making his mind start waxing poetic.

Iliana gave him a look, snapping him out of his little zone-out. "My mother invented the loom, I attended Girl Scout Camps for six years, and you're wondering why this looks so good? Hello?"

"Sorry," Jason apologized. "Could you teach me how to make something like that?" Iliana gave him another look. "It doesn't have to be that complicated, but Piper is coming back tomorrow and I don't have a Christmas gift and-"

"Say no more," Iliana said. "You are going to go to your rehearsal for the New Year thingy, and then right after, you are going to report back to me for the worst friendship bracelet boot camp you have ever experienced. By the time I have finished with you, you are going to be able to chevron in your sleep! Got it?"

Jason got it. Then he ran.

In his defense, he was late.

He skidded into the Big House three seconds early. Everyone was already there, sitting in the same basic arrangement as last time.

Will was, again, leading. "We need a lead-in. Last year, the Stoll brothers kicked it off, with their delightful half-parody of Rudolph, which really lured the newbies into a false sense of security, since it wasn't an unusual occurrence."

Butch raised his hand. "What if we staged a break-up? Like, Jake, Lou Ellen, and Miranda took over and argued it out with a parody?"

"Why Jake, Lou Ellen, and Miranda?" Travis asked.

"Well, Jake and Lou Ellen are the only ones actually leading. And, let's face it, the rumors about Jake and Miranda have been going on for years. Why not? It's perfect!"

"He does have a point," Annabeth said thoughtfully. "The other counselors dating, me and Percy and Jason and Piper, don't work because Percy and Piper are noobs. It makes sense!"

"Jake's not a counselor," Drew pointed out. "Can he be involved in this? The lead-in is counselor-only."

"But that's what makes it so diabolical!" Travis protested.

"Since he isn't a counselor-" Connor agreed.

"-And since everyone is familiar with his wild break-ups-"

"-I mean, who can forget the savage one two months ago?-"

"It'll take them all a while to hear the parody!"

"It's genius!" they finished together.

Connor paused thoughtfully. "You definitely said more than me in that one."

"I am the Fred to your George. I'm gonna start, and I'm gonna end."

Connor pointed at him. "Avada Kedavra."

Travis looked mildly insulted. "That hurt, Connor."

"It should have."

Jason sighed. It was going to be a long day.