I couldn't seem to get to sleep last night, knowing that Steve was coming to spend some extra time with me and my energy level is way up high with excitement and I just can't settle down and it is driving Uncle Charlie completely insane which is always fun but can't drive him too crazy or it won't be entertaining anymore.

I couldn't wait until I was away from Edward and his family who still insists we are dating, despite how many times I tell him we aren't together, hovering over me like I was a fragile piece of glass and next chance that I get, I was so telling his ass off, tired of his family and the way they treat me.

I know Steve isn't going to like how I was treated either, even if he knew I can stand up for myself and the only reason I haven't done so yet is because of the damn promise he forced me to make to not get into any trouble and to keep a low profile and act like a normal girl which has me completely on edge and Steve better get her soon or I was going to go crazy.

There were only a couple that I actually tolerated here in Forks, Angela Weber and Paul Lahote and Angela who was the nicest friend I have at Forks High School, who is nothing like my friend Angela Shephard back in Tulsa, Oklahoma who is more like a acquaintance than a friend.

Though she is only a year older than me, she has already had three abortions and one was before she was thirteen, but Angela Weber is a minister's daughter and has this good girl image going for her that suits her well, though I could never pull off the good girl act, Steve would see right through it and knows I can't stay out of the action.

Jacob Black sees me as this poor innocent girl that is in love with a vampire even though I never said I was in love with him, that lets him make all the decisions, he is no better than him, acting like a spoiled brat that didn't get his way and wants to tell me what to do as if I don't have a mind of my own as apparently, everything is too dangerous for me to do or I didn't need to know even if I was the one Victoria had been coming after because of Edward's obsession over me.

That is why I liked hanging around Paul which pissed Jacob off and tried to keep me away from him and saying he forbid from seeing him which only caused me laugh as he has no right to forbid me of anything and I don't take orders from a spoiled child, especially when I started smoking cigarettes with Paul, and claiming that he was a bad influence on me.

Though Paul had nothing to do with that, I have been smoking long before Paul, picking that habit from Steve and Jacob learned the hard way how I feel about someone ordering me around and making my decisions for me as he decided he didn't want a girl that smoked, causing me lash out and almost accidentally making me break my promise to my brother who would have been disappointed.

Paul had a good laugh that day when Jacob decided to force me to quit smoking against my own free will, believing I would just go along with it like the shy Bella Swan he knew would do and was mighty surprised when I pulled out my switch blade that I carry with me for protection, a habit I learned to pick up in Tulsa which can be a rough city and Greasers, even girl Greasers get jumped a lot by the Socs, the rich kids of Tulsa that jump us for kicks.

After my friend, Johnny Cade who died recently, got jumped once in our vacant lot, I never went anywhere without my switch blade that I swiped from the mercantile store, even after coming to live in Forks with my Uncle Charlie as I feel safer with it than without it, and had stabbed Jacob in the thigh for trying to control me, knowing that he would heal quickly, and never tried to force anything on me again.

Paul and I were the only ones that really found that amusing as I got a bunch of boring lectures about how it is wrong to stab someone even if they were annoying me which had been the excuse I had used for stabbing Jacob, causing Paul to crack up even more and it ended in me having to slap him to get him to calm down and shut the hell up.

I had no problem telling him that either as we were a lot closer than I was with anyone else and the only one I trusted with my witch secret or not really being a Swan, but he says he will take my secret to his grave, not even spilling accidentally to the guys in wolf form, and came to Tulsa with me last Christmas and met Steve.

My brother actually liked Paul and he doesn't like anyone, probably because they are both assholes and so much alike which is probably why I was so drawn to Paul, he reminded me of my brother and filled that gap when I couldn't have Steve and he had no problem helping me miss my brother less, seeing me as a little sister.

I could always just talk to Paul and didn't have to worry about having to pretend to be someone that I'm not or would get lectured, but Emmett is the only one in that house that has any sense of humor, preferring to just write poetry or compose music, talk about boring and they wonder why I don't like going over their house.

I was sick and tired of getting lectured by Edward or Alice because they believe I was doing something dangerous or unhealthy, talking down to me like I am a child, even though I technically am still a child at fourteen, as if I am not capable of making decisions for myself, making me feel stupid and insecure at times.

Steve is going to be pissed when he learns that not only did I keep that there were vampires in Forks while I was staying here with Uncle Charlie and that I was fooling around with them just to get information from them, but that I let them walk all over me and get treated like that.

There is nothing that annoys me more than someone trying to change me into something that I am not which is exactly what the Cullen family and even Jacob has been doing, not trying to accept me for who I was, like Paul did and why I could never fully trust them with my secret, as I never even told them that I had a brother.

Though technically they didn't ask if I had an older brother who was a JD Greaser in Tulsa and my bond with my brother is much stronger than anything, knowing the Edweirdo is going to try and force decisions on me without even consulting me as he will probably think Steve and all my Greaser friends are a bad influence on me.

If he thinks I am just going to choose him over my brother who has been there for me my whole life when I have barely known him for a year, he is sadly mistaking because I will always choose Steve, besides he is too controlling anyway.

I drove into the school parking lot, already wanting this day over, knowing Steve was going to be at Uncle Charlie's house when I got out of school and if I wasn't trying to keep such a low profile, I would probably have skipped school and prepared a welcoming dinner for him as he loves my cooking though probably has much more to do with my brother not being able to even boil water, but that is so Steve, but though he can't cook to save his life, he could take apart and rebuild cars with his eyes closed.

Steve had taught me all about cars before I moved to Forks, not wanting me to get trapped and not knowing about the basics of fixing a car, but when I met Edward, he just had his sister, Rosalie do it for me, not trusting my judgement even though I had told him I learned how to take care of a car long before I even had a license.

His sister who despises me, had even believed I was telling the truth after testing me all about cars while Edward would just mock and laugh at me and his own sister had even told me that I shouldn't let anyone treat me like that even her own brother, saying if she was treated that way, she would be looking for a new boyfriend and she was right, Edward and I aren't the right match which is why I refuse to be with him now though is delusional, still believing we are together.

I was glad to be leaving for Tulsa which I haven't told him as I know he would just follow me, despite the sun that we have in Oklahoma, but I just know that this isn't going to end well as he has claimed me as his property even when since day one, I had wanted nothing to do with him, but he was like a tiny bug that wouldn't go away.