A/N: At the moment, I'm using FanFiction as an excuse to not do any work. Apart from anything else, it's more fun! Anyway, here's Wormtail's essay. I aim to update something every Sunday, but I really wanted to get something out and I couldn't believe how many people had already read my first chapter!

Anyway, if you think the lists are in a similar order, you are probably right. But remember, the Marauders usually copied Moony's homework, like how Ron and Harry are always begging Hermione to let them copy her homework.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer:

Random Stranger: *runs up to me in the street* Hey! You are the girl who owns Harry Potter, aren't you?

Me: Alas, I don't own Harry Potter, that would be J.K. Rowling. I don't even look like that wonderful woman.

Random Stranger: But I've seen you write Harry Potter fanfiction!

Me: Exactly, FANfiction. Sorry, but you've got the wrong person.

Random Stranger: Oh, oh well. I'll just go find J.K. Rowling instead then. Byez! *runs away*

I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR THE MARAUDERS OR ANYTHING YOU RECOGNISE!

50 Things Wormtail Would Never Do

Note to teacher: Um...er...this is...my essay. Please give me a good mark, mum will kill me if I fail another class.

50. I will never do anything illegal. I don't think I'd last long in front of the ministry anyway. And I'd do anything to stay out of Azkaban.

49. I will never like teachers. They tend to scare me and I never like it when they give us homework or detention. Sorry Professor, but it's true.

48. I will never share Sirius's passion for sweets. Apart form anything else, Remus doesn't like it when I eat sugar. I can't think why...

47. I will never buy expensive stuff. I don't have the confidence and will just end up giving them to one of my friends.

46. I will never tell you what my nickname means. Ask someone else, preferably Sirius. He chose it in the first place.

45. I will never stand in front of a boggart. They scare me too much, which I guess is the point...

44. I will never show you around the castle. Ask someone else, I always get lost anyway.

43. I will never miss a lesson. I'd hate to think what would happen if I did, I don't want to get into trouble.

42. I will never ask Remus about the birds and the bees. Don't ask. Maybe I should speak to Sirius next time...

41. I will never believe everything James and Sirius say. I will only believe them if Remus says so.

40. I will never get a girlfriend. I'd just get nervous and sweaty and she'd get bored quickly. Anyway, Sirius has already said he'd look after any girl who became interested in me. Isn't he nice?

39. I will never understand you, or anyone for that matter.

38. I will never understand these assignments. But if you say so and Remus does them, then I guess it's al-right.

37. I will never hand in a late assignment, I'd be too scared of a detention.

36. I will never finish a book. Remus once tried to get me to read Hogwarts: A History, but I didn't understand any of it. Actually, I still don't understand it, even after Remus explained it to me, and that was just the first chapter...

35. I will never have a Lemon Drop. James says that Professor Dumbledore puts something in them.

34. I will never try and read a book. I just don't understand them. If I need to know anything, Remus will tell me.

33. I will never pass all of my exams without help. I'm warning you now, I'll never be able to keep up with the others.

32. I will never betray the Marauders. Without a reason. They keep me safe at school as long as I'm loyal to them.

31. I will never have caffeine ever again. Remus said I was a nightmare and won't let me have any more. James and Sirius enjoyed it, though.

30. I will never have a broomstick. I'd probably break it.

29. I will never be able to teach anyone anything. I can barely do Expelliarmus, let alone being able to help.

28. I will never burn a book. Remus would kill me. Unless it's a Care of Magical Creatures book, then he'd probably praise me.

27. I will never understand why anyone would want to read this list. It doesn't have anything useful in it anyway.

26. I will never be a responsible adult. I don't know what it means, but Remus and Lily Evans say 'responsible' a lot whenever they yell at James or Sirius.

25. I will never eat everything on my plate, unless it's potatoes. I love potatoes. Sirius tends to eat everything else.

24. I will never plan a prank. I'm not inventive enough and I'd never know what spells to use.

23. I will never know where anything is. I'll just ask another Marauder if I really want to know.

22. I will never tell you the password for Gryffindor Common Room. I don't want to see your face in the morning, not that you don't have a nice face...

21. I will never do anything to Snape. Most of my spells probably won't work. I'll just leave it to James or Sirius.

20. I will never talk to you about anything. I won't know what you are talking about.

19. I will never find any new rooms or passages, nor will I ever remember where they are.

18. I will never tell you how I know my way around the forest. I only have a vague idea anyway.

17. I will never have an original idea.

16. I will never give Sirius sugar. He is scary when hyper.

15. I will never be around when Sirius has found some sugar. I will probably be hiding in the dorms until James or Remus calm him down.

14. I will never have any chocolate. If I need some, Remus always carries some.

13. I will never tell you the way to the kitchens. I think you should know by now anyway.

12. I will never rely on Remus to wake me up. At least, not on his own. Apparently I'm really hard to wake in the morning.

11. I will never have any spare parchment. If I need some, I can ask Remus. He always has something to write on.

10. I will never eat anything James gives me, no matter how tasty it looks.

9. I will never use James's stuff, he's probably pranked it.

8. I will never take anything James has. He'll just get mad.

7. I will never do anything Sirius or James say. Note; the lake is freezing in December.

6. I will never go swimming ever again. The lake is freezing any time of the year.

5. I will never get an O grade, or an E, probably. I'm not that good.

4. I will never like worms, despite my nickname. Again, blame Sirius, he chose it.

3. I will never believe what I read in a tea-cup. Honestly, I'll lose everything and be stopped by a mini deer? What sort of prophecy is that? I'm not that bad, surely.

2. I will never give you a map. Especially ours.

1. I will never give Sirius anything to eat. He gets suspicious every time I offer him something. I don't blame him, though, pink really isn't his colour.

Please note these points are in no order. I just wrote them as I thought of them.

A/N: So what do you think? I know Peter's character seems to change the further down you get, but I was running out of ideas. Speaking of, if any of you have ideas for these, please tell me in a review or PM and I will credit you. Thanks for reading and please review!