A/N: Well, it's finally here! I'm SO SORRY! I'm gonna start working on the next chapter straight away, so hopefully it'll be up before a month this time... X_X But, nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it! Please review! :D
"Yuuki?" Kaname said, his voice – along with the light of the hallway – pouring in to the blacked out room that I was in.
"K-Kaname-sama!" I stuttered, kinda frightened by him just popping up like that. I'd chosen the darkest room in the house! Yet he still found me. Could he smell me? I had to admit that, yes, we pureblood's had strong senses, but I couldn't sniff out Kaname in this huge freaking mansion! And, it was the middle of the day!
"Why are you wearing your Day Class uniform, Yuuki?" he asked, looking down on me. I hated the way he did that. He talked to me like I was worth less than him. I knew I was... But I was beginning to have doubts about myself; like whether I was worthy of Kaname's love. I also knew I wasn't. Only I would have feelings for the one man I couldn't have. Only I, Yuuki Kuran, would be in love with Zero Kiryu. I was so angry at myself; not for Zero, but for being discovered. I should have hidden better.
"I don't know, Kaname-sama." I said, pushing my way past him, not looking him in the eye.
I spent the rest of the day in my room, curled up in a ball on my bed. I was trying to get to sleep, but I couldn't. I could never sleep when I wanted to. I sighed, curling tighter. It was another half an hour when I got to sleep. It was dark...
Then it hit me. I missed my old life... So much that I'd subconsciously put myself back to my old sleeping patterns. It was gone eleven by the time I managed to get to sleep – the same time Yuuki Cross used to go to sleep, before she became Yuuki Kuran.
When I woke up, Kaname-sama was gone. Again. I sighed, and went downstairs to get a bread roll.
"Good morning, Yuuki-sama." a maid – who's name I never bothered to learn, as Kaname-sama usually got 'thirsty' and took it out on the maids – said cheerily.
"Morning." I muttered, "Bread?"
"Right over there, Yuuki-sama." She gestured to a wooden board with steaming bread on it. Kaname-sama always requested that it be baked fresh every morning. He always encouraged me to eat more bread, instead of the pastries and ice cream that I used to. "Would you like me to cut you some? It's made fresh this morning!" She smiled, her chubby cheeks lighting up, along with her entire face.
I forced a smile. "It always is." Smiling made my face feel strange, stiff. "I'll cut it myself, you don't have to stick around." She turned to walk away. "Wait! Um, what's your name?" I asked her.
"My name is Sayori, Yuuki-sama." And then she did walk away.
Sayori. My best friend. I remembered her now; with her short blonde curly hair, her bright and sparkly green eyes, the way she was always the slightest bit taller than me – and the way that her being the slightest bit taller than me really annoyed me. I was so stupid! I should have held on to what I had, when I had it.
I collapsed in a heap on the floor, laying on my side. My long hair was spread all over the floor. I pulled my knees up to my chest, and felt the side of my face get damp because the tears were being soaked up in my hair. As I remembered more and more of my Cross Academy days, I avoided one certain silver haired vampire in denial. Just the thought of him... It was enough to make me go upstairs and attempt to kill myself with the Artemis. I dug deeper into my memories. There was always a flash of silver hair and pale skin in there, and those flashes made me cry out in despair. He was in all of my memories. It didn't matter if he was the memory, or if he was just in the background. I remembered one day in particular. I remembered it clearer than any of the other memories with him.
"Yuuki, I..." Zero started, breathing heavily, his breath warm on my neck, "I only desired your blood Yuuki..." he whispered. His embrace tightened. "I want it so much that it's unbearable... To the point that unless I drank from you until the very limits of your life, I wouldn't be satisfied. Such a disgusting, gluttonous greed..." His head lowered even closer towards my neck. "That is... the type of creature I am, isn't it?"
His fangs pricked my neck, making me shiver. I let out a squeak, which, if I wasn't so close to giving in to temptation, I would have been embarrassed at it. Zero hardly drank any. I wanted to beg; to plead; scream at his feet "drink more! Drink more!"
But I didn't.
I was willing to let him go, without even a kiss. I was doing what I thought was right. I was keeping him away from danger, a danger that he faced fearlessly. A danger called Kaname Kuran. If I chose Zero over him, he would have killed Zero, mercilessly.
Zero looked at me with pain filled eyes, whilst I stared back at him blankly, too scared to show what I was really feeling. Zero leaned in, closer, closer. Then his lips finally touched mine. I wanted to freeze that moment. To be caught up in the sheer happiness and sadness in that second. For me, that was the smallest fraction of forever.
I couldn't remember exactly what was said after that. All I could remember, was walking away from him. It felt as if my heart had been torn to pieces. I was broken. I only got so far, then I collapsed, just like I did today.
"I love you, Zero," I croaked on the floor. Then I heard a heartbeat.
"Yuuki-sama!" Sayori exclaimed, "Are you okay?" I looked up, and sat on my knees.
"Yeah, I'm okay." I said with another forced smile, wiping my eyes.
"Do you need... a 'drink'?" she said, emphasising the word drink.
"What?" I felt my face flush. "No! I mean, no, thank you. Why would you offer me that?"
"Kuran-sama said, always offer yourself, even if you don't want to." she stated, being so straight forward it was unbelievable.
"Well, I'm telling you this, never offer yourself to me. Okay?" I got up, off of my knees, and began to walk out of the kitchen, then I remembered to say one more thing. "Do not mention this to Kaname-sama, okay?"
"Yes, Yuuki-sama." She nodded, as I turned away.
The first thing I thought when I left the kitchen, was, I needed to leave the house. I was stir crazy. I hadn't left the house in over three weeks.
I walked out of the door, and into the bright lights of the outside world – well, the bright sunlight of the outside world. The walk into to town was slow (mainly because I was walking so slow). But, it was nice, because I spent so long breathing in the clean air.
I decided I'd go to the café that was mine and Yori's favourite. I ordered the big ice cream sundae, and they brought it over to me very quickly. Me and Yori went there so often that we knew most of the staff by name.
"Good to see you here again, Cross. How's your friend? It's surprising to see you here without her." the woman smiled... I think her name was Riiko.
"She's fine," – I hoped – "and it has been a while... I'll try and come back soon, though!" I smiled at her.
I could smell something familiar in the shop – and I missed it. I twirled a long lock of my hair around my finger, and thought about where I would go next. After going over the blur that was my old life, I decided to take a visit to the alley where I was attacked by a level E. When me and Zero were in town.
I walked and walked, seeing familiar shops that made me smile because of the memories that they held. I found the ally. Peering in, I realized I was wearing the same jacket that I wore when I was attacked. I found the rip in the sleeve, and the bad stitching by the Chairman.
Then I smelt it, the level E remains, and blood. Lots of it. I heard his groans, and his pants.
He's here...
I turned the corner.