New Moon Gangsta Rap
Bella: Hello, my name is Bella and I'm back again,
I'm not done rappin till this story's at the end,
It's gonna get depressing in a moment now,
But so what, I'm gonna stay gangsta anyhow
It's my birthday but I party like I'm ninety-nine
Thanks for me, Alice's decorating keeps everyone's spirits in line,
I tell em all I don't really wanna present
But Edward's rich, he thinks I'm acting like a poor old peasant
So anyway the party was a big rip off
I bled and Jasper tried to suck my whole lip off
Carlisle was all cool with his surgeon equipment
But it didn't get all of sweet Edward's contentment
My sexy vampire boyfriend just left me in the wood
So now I'm gonna cry like an angel in the hood
This werewolf-looking Sam dude comes and picks me up
While Edward's off on vacation drinking red blood cells from a cup
So I check out this dude named Jacob from the Indian place La Push
And then get the feelin' that I also like his tush
He gets me into trouble so I can have hallucinations
I love startin' up crap now, it's my new occupation
Jacob: Here Bella take my shirt so I can show you my chest
Bella: Jacob, you're nowhere near as hot as Edward, so just give it a rest
Jacob: Guess what? ( Bella: You're a werewolf) Yeah, but I'm not s'pose to tell you
And Guess what? I keep away da bloodsuckers so they don't even smell you
Bella: Oh no, in happy place I found this Laurent creep
He wants revenge, so I'm in doo-doo that's deep
Jacob: ROAR! Look Bella I just scared him off
Bella: Ya know, you're kinda acting like a big show-off
Jacob:I'm telling you, with me these vampires won't even get a sniff
Bella: Oh what the heck, screw this, Jacob, I'm jumpin' off a cliff
Alice: Oh no, Rosalie! Bella's dead!
She jumped off a cliff and sunk her head
This isn't good at all, and don't tell Edward!
Rosalie: You know I hate Bella, so you won't hear I said a word
Jacob: Guess what, Bella? I saved your life!
Bella: Oh, great! Now I have to deal with all this strife!
Alice: Good, your alive, come to Italy, Edward's sad
Bella: Awesome, I love repeatedly dumping my dad!
Bella: Edward, guess what?! I'm not really dead!
Edward: That's weird, that's not what Rosalie said
Alice: There's a word for Rosalie, but I'm not gonna say it
Edward: I think I'll sing Oh Happy Day! (Bella: Don't, you're gonna slay it)
(Optional Volturi Intro: V-O-L-T-U-R-I! Girl, we got lots of alibi! We sexy! Yeah, we old but Sexy! Yeah Yeah!)
Volturi: Hey, let's all play and torture Bella
Edward: Don't touch her or y'all gonna go to hella
Volturi: Promise Bella will be a vampire and then ya can leave
Edward: Sure whatever…Great, now ya got her cryin' on my sleeve
(Edward, Bella and Alice return to boring old Forks.)
Charlie: Where'd ya go this time? Bella, you're grounded
Edward: Get outta here Jacob, our you're gonna get pounded
Charlie: Bella, I think Edward is a meanie and a crook
Bella: Crap! Now we gotta storyline for another book
Bella: Dude, these I werewolves are gangsta!
Jacob: Yeah, Native Americans are gangsta!
Bella: The book's gangsta!
Jacob: The picture's gangsta!
Bella: Yeah, New Moon's gangsta
All: New Moon Gangsta Rap!