Chahpteh Two (British accent for Chapter Two- no offense to any British people who might take offense)

DISCLAIMER: Featuring, NATALIE and DAAAAN!

Dan: It's about time me and Nat get to disclaim a story!

Natalie: Don't call me Nat! It sounds like a miniscule insect that flies around people until they are tempted to kill themselves because they are so irked! I am not irking!

Dan: Whatevs dude.

Natalie: Don't call me dude! I am a girl! A woman! A lady! Tell him, PBG!

PBG: Nah, I don't think I will.

Natalie: UGH! You Americans are SO infuriating!

Dan: Yeah, so, Nat's having another temper tantrum, so I'll do the disclaimer. Gosh, what is with you people, thinking Nat and I have potential for 'love'. SICKOS!

Natalie: For once I agree with Daniel. How could anyone think someone as fabulous as me could possibly have a crush on a ninja-loving FREAK! No offense, Daniel.

Dan: None taken. And how could you possibly think I could like an annoying, tantrum-throwing brat? Insane people. I mean, PBG's insane, but not THAT insane.

Natalie: Totally.

PBG: Just get on with the disclaimer before I get arrested!

Dan: Hold your horses, PBG. Patience is a virtue. HAHAHA! Anyway, PBG does not own the 39 Clues, any characters, themes, places, et cetera, from the 39 Clues, or Pikachu, whom she used in her summary. She also does not own anything that may come up in the story.

PBG: -laughs manically- HAHAHA! PIKACHU I CHOOSE YOU! -mouth hangs wide open and a tad of drool drips out-

Dan: Okaaaay... and they think I'm the weird one. Idiots. NINJA!

Natalie: -sighs- Enough of this insanity. On with the story.

And here is the second chapter of the tale of William McIntyre's murder and the events that led up to the capture of his killer. Sorry for the perpetually long disclaimer. I'll make it up to you. PBG begins to write:

*~*~*

Natalie Kabra stepped out of her limo and adjusted her sunglasses in a swift move that she thought looked really cool. When she saw the mansion, she shuddered. "Do we really have to sleep in a place so small? Even for only a few nights?" Ian sighed and turned, walking toward the house. He was wondering when Amy and Dan would get there. He had been thinking about them a lot lately, particularly Amy. He wasn't really sure how he felt about her, he wasn't good with feelings. All he knew was that for some odd reason, whenever he saw her, his stomach and head began to feel so queer. It was kind of like the light-headed sensation you get when you fall backwards or think you are about to fall backwards, but a heck of a lot nicer. He had tried Googling this and all that came up were advertisments for medicine for stomach pains and a passage about love. He had disregarded the ads, but the blog about love intrigued him.

"Love is a beautiful thing," some people say. I say that love isn't beautiful, just very different from what you know. When I was first in love, I didn't even know it. I thought I had indegestion. Turns out I didn't.

There was more, but he couldn't remember the rest. Ian didn't think he was in love with Amy. He also knew that he didn't have indegestion. But for some reason, that little passage seemed to somehow hit the nail on the head. He decided not to think about Amy and his confounded feelings, but as it happens, at that very moment Dan and Amy's car pulled up to the curb. Natalie groaned, and Ian knew he was supposed to groan, but he didn't really want to. There went his emotions again. He didn't know whether he was happy or angry or sad; on one hand he was happy because he would get to see Amy again, but on the other he was angry because he knew he shouldn't want to see her. It was all so confusing. Screw Amy and her darned loveliness! he thought.

"We're ba-ack!" Dan called. He swung out of the car and ran across the lawn, Saladin alongside him, toward the mansion.

"Wait, Dan!" Amy called. She pulled out several suitcases and trudged up the front path.

"Yo, little dudes! Don't go so fast!" Nellie cried as she tugged at several more suitcases.

"Salutations." Alistair said warmly as he opened the door for the children. But his eyes weren't welcoming. They were something else. Scared? Uncertain? Worried? No. Grave.

~*~~**~~*~

Inside, the Cahill siblings made their way into a large dining hall full of people. There were the Kabras, the Holts, the Wizards, Alistair, and the entire house staff of one butler, one chauffeur, and eight maids. Alistair motioned for the two to sit down.

"Now that everyone is here, I will tell you why you've been summoned." he began, pacing. "As you all know, Mr. McIntyre has died. Now I shall explain the cause of his death, which ties in to why you are here." Alistair paused.

"Go on already!" Madison said impatiently.

"It was a dramatic silence." Alistair replied heatedly. "Anyway," he continued. "Our dear friend William McIntyre has been..." he turned to face them dramatically. "Murdered."

Everyone gasped and Dan let out a yelp.

"Mr. McIntyre... murdered?" he gulped, paling. "Who..."

"We don't know. That is why you are here." Alistair snapped his fingers and several large, dark men stepped out of the looming shadows. "As of this moment, you are all suspects in the case of the murder of Mr. William McIntyre."

~**~~***~~**~

"Haha, this has been very fun and I'm sure this experience will be a laugh, whoopdee doo, but I have places to go and people to see, so Ciao." Natalie declared, strutting to the door where she was blocked by two burly men.

"I am sorry Natalie, but no one in this room can leave until the case is solved." Alistair said.

"I don't have to put up with this! I have a hair appointment tomorrow at five o' clock sharp with Le Ruj de Journo, one of the highest acclaimed hair stylist of the twenty-first century!" Natalie screeched. "Do you know how long I had to stay on the waiting list for that?! Two and a half years! Do you know how much it cost to even get on the waiting list?! I can sue you for-" At this point one of the large men blocking her way to the door clamped a hand over her mouth, picked her up, and carried her out of the room, still shrieking. "You will not get away with this you scoundrels! I always win! Do you know how many lawsuits I've filed! Twenty! And I've won each and every one! I-" Eventually her screams faded into the distance.

"Um, pardon my asking, but where is that thug taking my sister?" Ian inquired uncertainly.

"Do not fret, she is only being escorted to her bed chamber." Alistair replied. "Anyhow, unfortunately since you were all present here at my seventieth birthday celebration, which was the time that William died, you must stay on the property until the case is solved. We know someone in this room killed McIntyre, whether a Cahill or my own staff, and no one is leaving until his death has been avenged."

"Wait? Avenged? Does that mean you are going to kill the killer?" Reagan asked.

"Goodness, no, child! We will only jail the murderer. It will be a long sentence, mind you, but no one will die."

Dan hugged Saladin tightly. "Mrrp."

"You may now disperse." Alistair declared. And all went to their rooms.

Apology:

Again, I apologize for the endless disclaimer. I would delete it, but it has grown on me, and I am a woman of greed. I am sorry I am so selfish! The devil's spawn! Well, I don't think I am that bad... Since I feel bad about wasting your time with the disclaimer, I will disclaim no more in this story unless I get to a chapter twenty or something like that. And even then it will not be a long disclaimer. And I promise to make long chapters. I will be your eternal slave, you can stretch me on racks and beat me with chains, it doesn't matter! Just know that I feel terrible about putting you through that badness that was the disclaimer. Sob, sob, oh woe is me.

The next chapter will be far better and far longer, and NO DISCLAIMER! Although I don't blame you if you choose to stop reading my work because I am so weak as to let a silly disclaimer grow on me. Pity me for my pathetic-ness.