Gibbs eyed his agent and tried to figure out what was bothering him. During the last few days, Tony'd been different; his smiles were forced and more often than not, he'd shrink back from conversations if he could and he sure as hell hadn't initiated any conversation himself; the change in his behavior wasn't so obvious that'd alert the others, but to Gibbs who'd worked with the younger man for so many years and could read him so well, the changes were clear as day.

Gibbs could see that the younger man looked a bit pale and that sometimes it seemed like he was having a hard time catching his breath.

After some days from the case in that contaminated house, Gibbs was regretting his choice of words to his agent; yes, he'd uttered them knowingly and had gotten the desired effect in result, but that'd been then and this was now; then, he'd been frustrated with everything and especially DiNozzo's nonstop chattering and had just snapped. Now, it was too late to try to take them back and honestly, back then when Tony started to smile and laugh once they were out of that place, he'd pushed his concern aside and had forgotten about it completely; at least, until the younger man started to look tired and sick.

Nevertheless, he couldn't do anything about it, now; he couldn't question the SFA's behavior, because Tony's work was still exemplary and to tell the truth, the fact that he'd quieted down a bit, didn't feel too bad.

So when the younger agent came back from his lunch break late, looking all thoughtful and forlorn, despite his gut feelings, Gibbs didn't give it much thought and let it slide. And he probably would've forgotten about it, had Tony not suddenly collapsed behind his desk, hitting the ground, two hours later when he was about to go downstairs and double check something with Abby.

He was on his feet and by Tony's side in less than a second, barking at the wide-eyed, frozen-in-place junior agent of his team to call Ducky.

Ducky was able to rouse Tony and as he examined him, he noticed the pallor and clamminess of his skin and the palpitations; he also noticed the abnormality in the way Tony was breathing and he voiced all his concern.

But at the end, Tony hadn't been able to come up with any answers and that was merely because the pain in his chest was stopping him from paying attention to anything else.

Gibbs had glared and growled at him, but soon he realized that his SFA was actually in severe pain and wasn't avoiding their questions.

With the help of Ducky and McGee, he took Tony to the car and then to hospital and once there, his SFA was immediately taken away.

Now, two hours later, Gibbs was angrily pacing up and down the waiting room with Ducky trying to placate him.

"Agent Gibbs, right?" A well-dressed old man called and then introduced himself, "Dr. Sean Cale. I'm the cardiologist taking care of Agent DiNozzo."

"Cardiologist?" Gibbs frowned with confusion. He'd thought whatever Tony's problem was had something to do with his scarred lungs.

"Yes; I've been informed that Agent DiNozzo visited the hospital earlier today and has gone through some tests; according to the reports I got, he's been feeling down for a few days now and the symptoms that he informed us of, all speak of a heart condition. Still we ran some more tests to make sure of the situation and eliminate every other possibilities and I'm afraid my colleague's been right about the possible problem."

"Which is?" Gibbs demanded an answer impatiently.

"Myocarditis."

Ducky's eyes widened. "Myocarditis? But Anthony is a healthy man and with the job he has-"

"Viral infection, Doctor Mallard." Cale had already seen Ducky and knew he could understand.

"Viral?" Gibbs frowned. "How has that happened?" He wasn't sure what the problem was exactly, but if it was viral, it meant that it could've been prevented.

"We're working on it," Cale answered. "But considering the fact that symptoms of this sort of heart problem appear 7-14 days after the actual infection, Agent DiNozzo must've contacted whatever has infected him, at least 10-11 days ago since Agent DiNozzo says he's noticed the first symptoms about 3-4 days ago."

"Are you sure about his diagnosis, Doctor Cale?" Ducky asked remorsefully.

"I'm afraid so."

"Ten days ago?" Gibbs looked deep in thought. "The damn contaminated house, Duck." he exhaled deeply and looked at the older man, waiting for him to catch up.

"Oh my."

Cale looked between the NCIS employees and when they didn't come up with an explanation, he had to ask. "May someone please explain it to me, too?"

"Of course; my apologies." Ducky shook his head. "About ten days ago, Agents DiNozzo and Gibbs went to investigate a murder case in an abandoned building, but then we were informed that the place was probably contaminated with biological contagions. CDC was involved, of course, but soon they announced that our Agents were cleaned."

"Let me guess, they just checked for radiation or biological contagions." Cale shook his head. "What was the COD of the body you've found?"

"Single GSW to the head." Ducky provided.

Cale nodded, "It's still highly probable that Agent DiNozzo was infected there. We can send some people there to check the place for samples of the virus."

"I was there with him, why am I not showing the same symptoms?" Gibbs inquired.

"Jethro, Anthony's weakened immune system and his scarred lungs make him susceptible to these sorts of problems. I believe he, too, would've walked away with no problem at all if his lungs were as healthy as they were before his encounter with the Y Pestis."

"Damn." Gibbs took a few steps away and ran his right hand's fingers through his hair. "How's he?"

"We're trying to stabilize him."

"Is he going to be alright?"

"I'm afraid I can't answer that right now. With his weak lungs, his situation has worsened more quickly than a normal case and his heart is under a lot of pressure. Once he remains stable for an hour, we'll start the main treatment and from there we just have to hope the damage is reversible."

"What's the worst case scenario?"

"The worst case scenario is a completely damaged heart; the patient then would need a heart transplant." Doctor Cale answered honestly, "But, that's very rare." he immediately added as he saw the pain on the other men's eyes. "Usually, the problem is treatable and the patient can get back to his normal life after a while. But unfortunately, Agent DiNozzo's condition is a bit special, so I can't promise you this, either."

"Then what?"

"Some patients will end up with partially damaged heart, but they can go on with their normal lives as long as they're more careful and follow a strict diet and take their medicines regularly. Some may also need a small surgery to place a pacemaker."

"He can't go back to the field with that." Gibbs looked truly troubled.

"Then let's hope it doesn't come to that."

"Would it have made any difference if he'd visited a doctor sooner?" The Lead Agent needed to know.

"It might have." Cale nodded. "But this is usually the case when the patient lives alone and doesn't have anyone who'd notice the symptoms. Usually when there's someone else around, they insist on a hospital visit earlier and the problem is caught much sooner. The fact that Agent DiNozzo has lost consciousness is not a good sign."

Gibbs wanted to collapse into a chair. The doctor's words were like a punch to his stomach. 'If Tony had someone... If someone was there to notice.' To him they were equal to 'If anybody cared'! Because he kept telling himself that Tony did have someone! Him!

Damn, he shouldn't have ignored those signs. He shouldn't have ignored his gut feeling. He was partly responsible for Tony's situation.

"It might not have been soon enough, but at least Agent DiNozzo was wise enough not to ignore his symptoms."

'Yeah, but his workload didn't let him get a professional opinion sooner.' Gibbs thought as his mind went back to the events and cases of the last few days and how they all had spent every waking moment working on one case or another. Shaking his head to be able to focus on the present, he noticed that he was once again alone with Ducky.

"Doctor Cale was paged to another patient's side." Ducky said when he saw the question in Gibbs' eyes.

"I cannot understand, Jethro." The ME studied his friend. "We both know Anthony always ignores his limits and pushes himself too hard; but he must've been in pain for a while now; how come he didn't say a word. The pain he must've been in had to be pretty severe; it couldn't have been easy to hide. He could've mentioned the need to go to the hospital, so you could give him some time off."

"It's my fault." Gibbs wasn't sure where the words had come from, but he knew they were true.

"Jethro-"

"No, Duck. It's my fault he didn't say a word." Gibbs suddenly looked so tired. "The day we thought we were infected, Tony was scared. He wouldn't shut up about not wanting to die like that and..."

"Anthony has a good reason to be afraid of that kind of death. Dying in a hail of bullets or an explosion is something he's ready for. But a painful, slow death?" Ducky shook his head sadly. "And if there is one person who'd really know about it, it's Anthony. He's the only one who'd been through it once. I'm afraid none of us can understand where he's coming from. The mere thought of having to go through it again must've been really frightening for the young lad."

Gibbs snorted resentfully. "And you wanna know how I responded to that?" he asked with a resentful tone, "I basically told him that it didn't matter as long as he died quietly."

Ducky's eyes widened. "Jethro-"

"I know." he sighed brokenly. "I was just frustrated with the situation and I'd forgotten his experience with the plague."

"I'm sure he unders-"

"Ducky, he knew he was sick and he didn't say a word." Gibbs jumped in, not letting the old ME finish his word to placate him. "And I did notice he was looking tired and pale and did nothing about it. I knew my words had hurt him and didn't even try to fix that either."

Ducky sighed and walked to a chair and sat down. He knew there was no point in arguing with the old agent, and frankly, he didn't think there was anything to argue about. Gibbs' temper was the subject of legend and more than once, it'd caused problems. Now, Anthony was mostly immune to it, but they both knew the younger man tended to hide his hurt feelings and that he was perfect at it; that didn't give them the right to hurt him when they knew what could cause him that sort of pain.

"He did it." Gibbs sank beside him to a chair. "He listened to me when I told him he should die silently."

"He's not dying, Jethro." Ducky reproached.

"Maybe not; but if he ends up losing his job because of it, then I can promise you that we won't see him ever again. You know DiNozzo. He'll just disappear."

"Then we shouldn't let that happen." Ducky sounded determined. "We should show him that his home is here with us and that it does not matter whether he's a Field Agent or not. He might end up with a desk job, but we should show him we're his family and that we care."

"Family notices when one of their own is sick, Duck." Gibbs said coldly. "And what would he do behind a desk? He can't stand it; if he's gonna get stuck with a desk job, believe me, he'll make sure to do it somewhere far away from here."

"Not if we can convince him this is his home now; that we care no matter what."

"Did you miss the part when I said I told him I didn't care if he died as long as -"

"I heard you." It was Ducky's turn to stop his friend. Those words were clearly killing Gibbs; he'd already mentioned them over and over again and didn't seem to be able to think about anything else. "Anthony doesn't need your guilt. What he needs is our support."

Gibbs looked away; this was precisely why he was always hard on people and didn't let anyone get close and why he didn't show any feelings but anger; he just was terrible with everything else; not that showing anger wasn't causing trouble; they wouldn't be there if that was the case.

"You should explain yourself, though." Ducky continued. "Now, I know it is not your strongest suit, but-"

"I know, Duck." Gibbs said. "The problem is that with DiNozzo-" he sighed. "You know how he is, Duck. He quickly believes negative remarks, but try to tell him you actually care. He looks at you with so much doubts in his eyes that-" he shook his head.

"I can hardly blame him." Ducky said ruefully. "His father has managed to ruin his self-esteem and... And I'm afraid every now and then, we all get a bit carried away in making jokes at Anthony's expense."

"He gives as good as he gets." Gibbs pointed out.

"He always tries not to be hurtful."

'True. And we usually are.' Gibbs thought with a sigh.

"We should talk to him."

"He has to pull through." Gibbs stood up abruptly.

"Jethro, strong will is a good thing and I'm sure Anthony would like it better; but you have to also show him that whatever happens we will still have his back."

"He knows that."

"Does he?" Ducky frowned. "Weren't you the one who told him you didn't care if-"

"Got your point." Gibbs said before Ducky could finish that phrase. "That's gonna be one hell of a talk."

"No, I'm afraid the hard part is convincing him. The talk will most probably be an easy one; with you coming up with some broken sentences, trying to explain yourself with merely grunts and unfinished phrases and with Anthony pretending like he's alright and pushing his feelings under a lid and hiding everything even deeper."

"Then what do you suggest?" Gibbs asked with frustration.

"Time, Jethro, time. That's the only thing we can hope to have and we just can hope we can fix some of the damages done to that young boy during his years of life."

'Yeah; try to make him believe that it would matter if he died; quietly or not. Try to tell him that he could trust his boss with his hidden feelings and that he could voice his fears and pain however he wanted to voice them.' After his words and actions, convincing the younger man that those things were true would be as hard as bringing his mother back to life.

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TBC

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A/N: Share your thoughts with me?

Thanks a lot for your support.

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I don't own the show and its characters and all mistakes are mine.