AN: Thanks ameliaraecat, zarius and 'I can politely murder you' for your kind words. Hope you keep liking it. Reviews are little pieces of gold :P

Chapter 2

The first sensation he had upon awake was an excruciating headache. Pains were a bad sign, or he didn't regenerate orr something had gone wrong.

He used his senses to obtain some information. After his blind period, the Doctor had learned that with audition and with smells a series of things could be noticed with more precision than by sight.

For example, he could no longer smell the strongest ocher odor of the burning cybermans or the roasted fields, there was no breeze caressing his skin and as for noises... Well, no noises of crackling fire, robotic footsteps, explosions or screams. All he listened was the various comforting beeps he was so accustomed to.

He opened his eyes and stared at the roof of his Tardis. Mathematical Impossibilities aside, somehow he had gone there, did not know how or when, but he was safe for now.

With effort he sat down, propped against the consoles. He felt tired and very old. The pain disappeared and returned in waves, his body was dying and the last thing he wanted was to regenerate.

I WILL NOT CHANGE! He shouted to nobody specifically.

He still had things to do, he needed to rescue Nardole and the children, find a way to mend Bill and he had to find Missy.

Thinking about her only made him even more angry and his hands glow with intense gold. He had to take her back to her vault and there she would stay until the last day of her sentence, without walks or privileges, without long conversations, music or movies. Unaccompanied. All his dedication had been in vain and he was tired of showing mercy to those who did not deserve it.

Missy fooled him, broke his heart once more and left. That will not happen again.

Pulling away Missy momentarily from her thoughts, the Doctor scrambled to his feet and stared at the Tardis panel. One thing was certain, he was no longer aboard the ship, which was a bit odd, but odd was fine, odd was good.

As he went out through the wooden door and faced the frozen inhospitable environment the pain returned to him.

"NOOOOO!" He shouted to the heavens as he dropped to his knees, the golden glow now more intense, burning his hands and face. "I WILL NOT CHANGE!"

"Who's there?"

Another person's voice stopped him, he had restrained the regeneration attempt once more, and he would do it as often as was necessary and possible.

"I'm the Doctor."

"The Doctor? I don't think so. No, dear me, no. You may be a doctor, but I am The Doctor. The original, I might say."

The figure standing in front of him seemed lost, a little tired, and the Doctor remembered where and when he was.

Disbelief was replaced by a smile and he suddenly burst into laughter. The universe was really an ironic creature. There he was, about to regenerate, heartbroken and hopeless in helping his friends staring at his first self, that arrogant and fearful old man who had much to learn.

"I have some news for you, Theta. I'm the latest you."

"I'm going to regenerate into you?"

"Oh no…. You'll have plenty different faces before you turn into me."

"How old?"

"Old, believe me."

The old man, in fact the older-looking man, since technically the Doctor on his knees in the snow was indeed the eldest, merely nodded as he set his thoughts in order.

Observing his oldest self, the Doctor noticed how theatrical it was in those early years. He acted as a great expert of the truths of the universe when in reality he was only a child.

Theta looked at him from above as he kept his head down and sat on a snow-covered stone.

"You came to see me?"

"Not really, I'm dying too and that bloody thing brought me here" He pointed to his Tardis. "That simple, really."

The Doctor continued to watch his first self, which, plunged in its melancholy, didn't say another word, he just kept there looking at its own hands.

"You know..." The Doctor started with compassion. "Regenerate is not that bad. It hurts a bit, well, a lot, but is nice to be a different self. You don't need to be scared."

"You don't look too excited about it yourself."

"It's different for me, I still have lots of things to solve and I cannot regenerate before that."

"What happened to you?"

"Lost some friends. I need to find them tho."

"So you don't travel with family? Susan left for a while and I miss her terribly. Poor child will be scared when she finds out I regenerate."

"Grandaughter will be fine, believe me." The Doctor smiled a bit at that. He missed Susan. "No family just friends nowadays, mostly new friends."

"Mostly? So you keep an old friend with you."

"Tecnically I'm the prison guard of an old friend. At least I was, she left."

"She must be something." The first Doctor laught softly. "I'm already curious to meet her."

"Oh but you already do. That woman will be one of your ruins, but you'll have centuries before you live that. Life will be incredible fun and you'll meet the greatest people in the galaxy."

The first doctor was thoughtful for long seconds. He did not know how his life would be full, both of loves and pains. From that moment his existence was just beginning, regenerate would be the first truly effective experience of many others to come.

For the old Doctor all the way in front of him was pure uncertainty, brand-new. No spoilers.

"If you say so I won't fight it anymore. Thank you young man for all your kind words."

"Hey, you're the lad here, I'm an ancient."

"Right, Doctor." He said with a certain mockery as he rose from the rock. "Before I go, can I give you a piece of advice myself?"

"Of course, go ahead."

"Don't let you broken heart drive your actions. Go find your friends, fix what you must and go after your lady friend. I'm sure you will find her."

"I hope so." And he really did.