Howl slowly dying in her throat, the newly birthed girl - for she knew she had just been reborn as surely as she knew this body wasn't really hers - trembled against the stone floor and felt her muscles spasm and twitch.

She gasped and whined for breath as she struggled to gain her bearing and with a warm hand that brushed her hair away from her face, she fell under.

I'm alive.

She awoke all at once.

I'm alive.

Lashes lowered over tired eyes and with gasp she twitched as feeling slowly but surely crept into the limbs of her body and the girl blinked up at the dark stone ceiling above her - and barely managed to keep her lids up for a few seconds more before they fluttered low and with a sigh she fell back to sleep

I'm alive.

Her next brush with consciousness yielded the same results and so did the dozens after.

It would have been frustrating if she had been aware enough to take notice.

It was only the familiar pinching feeling of her hair caught under the dead weight of her body that kept her from going under again and with a grunt she jerked her neck to the left and hissed at the incessant tug the movement caused.

I'm alive.

Forcing herself to roll over she freed her scalp from the pain and only had time to blink once at the sight the trail of hair falling from her shoulders made before fatigue gripped her hard and she rested her head on the circle of her arms.

She was so very tired.

The next time she woke up it was to her own screaming.

I'm alive! Something in her howled. I bleed! I breathe!

It seemed the remnant dreams of her death and rebirth took a bit more patience to sort through than she first thought but mourning her past in her dreams felt infinitely better than doing it out loud - she just wished it would be over sooner

Well what did you expect? To get over years of memories so easily?

Don't be an idiot.

She stared down at the tawny skin that stretched out over her tiny and delicate hands and hesitantly the pads of her thin and trembling digits traveled down the aquiline cut of her thin nose, along the ridge of her high cheekbones and across the seam of her tiny lips - but when she traced the tip of a pointed ear she startled violently and clasped her golden hands in her lap.

I'm alive.

She shivered.

Gone was the slightly broader nose and rounded face that she remembered and all that was left was what she was now. Pulling her grip away from herself, she held her palms up towards the ceiling and when she found that she was unable to curl her fingers into a fist, she let the appendages fall into her lap with a lackluster flop.

She was paler than she had been before.

This body didn't feel like hers.

She didn't want to see it in full if she could help it.

I'm alive.

But at what cost?

There was no one here with her and there was no one who came to visit.

Was she feeling lonely?

It was only human if she did - even she wasn't quite that anymore.

She didn't need to eat.

She had figured that out after waking up for the nth time and she didn't know how to feel about that. It was as if everything that she was had been ripped away and replaced but she supposed she was lucky she wasn't the same as before especially since she didn't experience hunger anymore - else she would have died twice over.

I'm alive.

...Are you really?

Sometimes she thought she could hear noise from outside but maybe she was just going crazy. Maybe she was just hankering for some company so it was probably best to ignore it - besides, she was far too frightened to even attempt to go looking for the source regardless of the fact that she couldn't move past the stone walls of her room.

I'm not dead.

Can you be so sure?

No she wasn't losing her mind, there had been someone outside - a man. A man with hair as dark as the night sky and eyes that shined like their stars. And as she watched the man kneel and present to her a single dusky hand, she moved forward to hold it and despite the fact that she knew she should - logically - fear this unknown figure, she found herself setting her trembling fingers in his palm and she sighed the moment they made contact.

She sighed for immediately her body relaxed and her lids fluttered and He sent her a slow and pleased smile.

"Hello again," He spoke and with a jolt, she realized that even though he wasn't speaking English that she could understand him perfectly. "Núnonin."

And oh! How he spoke her name! To be able to incite such a happiness inside her with a single acknowledgment was surely a feat unimaginable and sure enough, there was a kindling of warmth in her chest as she dipped her head shyly and she heard him chuckle richly.

He was beautiful and terrible and he brought her a peace that made her want to curl up into his side and sleep for millennia.

It was terrifying.

It was invigorating.

It was confusing and she didn't know if she liked it.

I can feel.

Could you be dreaming?

There's a man here.

Does he actually exist?

Whenever she slept nowadays, she learned whatever her creator - because that's what he was - wanted her to learn. And while she slumbered, a voice - The Dark Man's voice - told her about the world. About Eru Iluvatar and his machinations and how he hoarded power and refused to show his face even when his precious creations faced peril of unimaginable magnitudes.

The Dark Man painted Eru - the god figure of Tolkien saga how was this even real? - in a cowardly light but he didn't deny his power.

Nor did he deny the power of the Valar - it was just that he viewed himself as their better.

It was strange.

I can learn.

But does it make any sense?

She didn't have a response for that.

Núnonin sometimes laid awake when the Dark Man left her alone and she wondered what fresh hell she landed in to warrant this kind of situation and it made her stomach twist.

She didn't deserve to suffer for eternity.

Did she?

If you have to ask then maybe you do.

Sometimes she thought back to her life before and wondered just what was going on there. She wondered if everyone had moved on without her yet or if they still thought about her and she always had to stop herself there because crying by herself in a stoned off room wasn't appealing.

She hated the scent of stagnating despair.

Was any of this real?

Are you?

"Yes," She found herself whispering days later as she stared up at the dark stone above her. "yes I am."

I'm real. I'm real. I'm real.

Then you have your answer.

The man clad in all shadows had yet to tell her his name and frankly, she wasn't sure she wanted to know it.

Núnonin - for what else could she call herself? No one here knew her by the name Chelsea - huddled in the corner of her large black stone room and wondered how long she had been here. She had no way to tell time and no way to gauge how long she rested for - effectively she was lost in a continuum.

Drawing her knees to her chest, she drew back into the plentiful pillows below her and shivered.

She was Schrodinger's cat.

She didn't exist as long as she was stuck in here.

I can sleep and wake up. I'm alive. She stubbornly insisted but the infernal voice inside her was silent.

She didn't know who this man was. His name rang no bells, there was no one in the Tolkien books she had read called what he called himself and it confused her.

She had never heard of a man named Melkor and she had never heard of any supposed Vala hating Eru but nevertheless, here was one before her and she could deny neither Melkor's divinity nor his animosity.

I can't trust this guy.

You have no choice.

The first time He brought her food it had started with two kinds of fruit and despite feeling no hunger, the sight and smell made her jaw clench and her eyes widened. Hesitantly she met His silver eyes and cocked her head to the side when she noticed the man was making no efforts to withdraw the fruits or offer them forward - they were merely there. Her gaze flashed down to the sweet scented delights and she took another inhale and unerringly switched her stare to the pink colored treat instead of the yellow one right across from it - she wanted this one instead.

Desperately.

With a twitch of her muscles she could feel the desire to take a bite consume her and almost without preamble or a care of caution, she had the fruit that he carried in his right palm in her hands and damn near devoured it whole.

It was delightful.

And when the man lifted the remaining yellow fruit to his mouth with a chuckle, she paused the moment he set his pleased nitrate eyes on her and suddenly she was filled with a sense of accomplishment despite not knowing why.

She had a feeling she had just been tested.

But did you pass?

I think - but is that good or bad?

It's all a matter of perspective really.

Staring down into the puddle of water that surrounded the spilled basin that her Creator gifted to her on his last visit, Núnonin felt a bit sick to her stomach because this - this was why she held no fascination with seeing her reflection.

She looked so different.

Núnonin knew logically that she looked exactly like her Sire - like Melkor, the visions in her dreams told her as much - but actively seeing the evidence first hand was almost frightening.

Glancing down at the contrast between the paleness of the pillows below her and the brown duskiness of her skin she, instinctively of her American nature, tried to put an ethnicity to her features and fumbled when nothing came to mind. Swallowing she ignored the bitter thoughts that whispered about how proud Chelsea had been of her Seminole heritage and tried her hardest to find some resemblance - beyond the russet complexion - to her people in the classically beautiful face she could see in the mirror and she failed.

Epically

I'm different now.

That you are.

I don't like it.

Your opinion on the change doesn't matter, you have no choice but to live with it.

She had nothing to say to that.

The next like 2-5 chapters are gonna be in this format but after that, it'll switch to a normal story format. It's just easier to quickly dispense info this way.

The fruit scene did have a double meaning since Melkor was low key using that situation to test if Núnonin had even a smidgen of free will. You see if she didn't have a will of her own when he presented her with two options she wouldn't have chosen anything since he would have had to order her to decide but when she started to consider the two fruit options without him prompting and even went as far as to take the fruit she wanted without an order, shows that she does have free will. Which was what he wanted, to create life like Eru does.

One problem Nin will face is dysphoria due to her change in body and her strong attachment to her previous form but I will handle that subject with care.

Please review! It's motivation! Ps the profile pic is what I imagine Nin to look like and since Melkor in my mind is visually the opposite of Manwe (but with the same face) Melkor has dusky/dark skin with dark hair while Manwe had pale skin and white hair. The only thing Manwe and Melkor share in this story are their silver eyes. So Nin looks like Melkor so I modeled her after how I pictured him.