Last Experiment Standing: Movie Edition Episode 2: Because I'm Crappy

written by DJhero523

Last time on Last Experiment Standing: Movie Edition, 14 alien experiments returned to Last Experiment Standing to compete for another 1 million dollar prize, this time with movie-based challenges! Things quickly became painful as the contestants faced off in a movie trivia showdown, where the losers would be ejected from the challenge-literally. In the end, it was Bonnie who won both the trivia challenge AND the find-the-golden-movie-reel-in-a-pile-of-other-movie-reels challenge, and although it looked like she picked the best cabin, it was the former Screaming Gophers that got to party like it was 1999. What will today's challenge be? Who will be one step closer to the million, and whose dreams will be cut short? Find out now on Last! Experiment! Standing! Movie Edition!

At the Former Killer Bass cabin, we see the experiments sleeping in strange positions, some even completely hanging off their beds. A cockroach crawled into one of Stitch's nostrils and out the other.

In the Former Screaming Gopher cabin, there was confetti and food scraps all over the place, and some of the experiments had party hats on. All of them were sleeping on the floor.

Outside the cabins, Chris held up an airhorn, and then held up a megaphone to that.

HOOOOOOOOOOOONK!

Every experiment woke up instantly.

"Attention contestants!" Chris shouted. "Today's your first elimination challenge! Report to the mess hall in ten minutes! McLean out!"

["Oh god, does Chris seriously need to keep doing that?" said Richter, still in his pajamas. "It was bad enough last season. I still regret coming back to this show..."]

At the mess hall, Chef served his usual horrible food. The experiments weren't used to this though, as they had full "normal" food access in their cabins last season.

"What the heck is this stuff?" said Melty as he scooped up his "eggs and bacon." "Are you trying to kill us Chef?"

Chef growled and flung his spoonful of food at him.

"Uh, not that it isn't good though." Melty shoved a spoonful into his mouth. "Mmm, delicious," he said before gagging slightly.

"Now we know what the Total Drama contestants felt like," said Slushy. "I almost feel sorry for them."

Meanwhile, Stitch and Reuben were gulping down their food faster than everyone else, earning weird looks from everyone else at his table.

"What?" they said in unison.

["Jumba programmed me and Reuben to be basically indestructible," said Stitch. "Which means I can eat pretty much anything." To prove his point, he stole a perfume bottle from one of the interns and swallowed it whole.]

Chris walked into the mess hall with a beret and scene marker. "Welcome, contestants, to your first challenge on Last Experiment Standing: Movie Edition!"

"Whoop dee doo, what the heck do you want?" said Yang in an annoyed tone.

"As you guys know already, each challenge on this season will be based on one of the top-grossing movies of all time. Well, this challenge will be based on the number 21 top grossing movie of all time, Despicable Me 2! As there are no teams yet, this challenge will be individual. For this challenge, we've hidden fake vials of the PX-41 mutagen all around the island. Your job is to find a vial and bring it back to the cabin area, while avoiding the tennis-ball shots of the villainous 'El Chef-o!'"

Chris motioned towards a tennis-ball-gun-wielding Chef, who was dressed up as El Macho, the villain of Despicable Me 2. He looked like a luchador, with a mask, a cape, and wrestler's clothing.

["For once, I actually like my costume!" said Chef as he posed in his costume.]

"The first two experiments to make it to the cabins with vials of PX-41 will not only be safe from elimination, but they will also get to pick the teams next time."

Chef brought over fourteen iPods and earbuds and tossed them to the experiments.

"Oh yeah, and to make the challenge even more painful, each of you will be forced do do the challenge while listening to Pharrell Williams's 'Happy,' ON REPEAT!"

["Nope, no way, I've heard that song WAY too many times already," said Splodyhead angrily. "I might as well just quit right now."]

"The iPods have been modified so that you can't pause, mute, or skip the song, and if any of you take out our unplug your earbuds, you're disqualified! Ready? Aaaaand...action!"

Chris clicked his scene marker, but all of the experiments stared at him blankly. He sighed. "Whenever I say 'action,' it means go."

"Oh," said Yin, and everyone sprinted out of the mess hall. Everyone stuck in their earbuds.

"SO, ALLIANCE?" Slushy shouted to the rest of the members of The EXperimentZ.

"WHAT?" Sample shouted back.

"I SAID, DO YOU WANT TO BE IN AN ALLIANCE?" Slushy repeated.

"OH! DUH!" Sample replied.

Yin and Yang, Stitch and Angel, and Bonnie and Clyde paired up and immediately started kissing.

Suddenly, Yang came up with a plan.

["The six of us are the only ones with relationships. That means we could form an alliance. Hey, I'm going to need it if I want to eliminate everyone else."]

"SO GUYS! I HAVE AN IDEA!" Yang yelled to the other couples. "SINCE YIN AND I BASICALLY HAVE AN ALLIANCE ALREADY, WHY DON'T YOU GUYS JOIN IT? COME ON, YOU SAW HOW WELL I PLAYED THE LAST SEASON, RIGHT?"

The couples were too busy kissing to respond.

"I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES!"

["I'll just use them to win the challenge. And as soon as they lose, BAM! They'll be gone! Or at least two of them will be..."]

Reuben started looking in his favorite spot: the kitchen.

["Actually, I don't care about the challenge. I just want to make sandwiches."]

Reuben took out some bread, peanut butter, and what looked like grape jelly. He spread the peanut butter and jelly on the bread and took a bite, before realizing it had a strange taste.

"Wait a minute..."

Reuben looked at the vial of "jelly" and noticed it was labeled "PX-41."

"Aha!"

["And I wasn't even TRYING to find it!"]

Unfortunately, Chef was standing right outside the door and shot him with a tennis ball, eliminating him.

["I knew it couldn't be that easy."]

"IT'S GOT TO BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE," Splodyhead said as he searched behind prop cars. Soon enough, he found that Felix and Sparky were searching in the exact same place as him.

"OH, HI GUYS!" Splodyhead shouted.

"HI FELIX!" the other two replied.

"SO GUYS, NOW THAT I'VE FOUND YOU HERE, I THINK WE SHOULD TEAM UP! WE'RE PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY THREE PEOPLE WITHOUT AN ALLIANCE, SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?"

"I DON'T SEE WHY NOT," said Sparky.

"OKAY, LET'S SPLIT UP, SO THAT CHEF DOESN'T CATCH US ALL AT ONCE!"

"Too late!" Chef said with a smirk as he prepared to shoot all three experiments.

Quickly, Splodyhead fired a plasma shot at the tennis ball gun, vaporizing it. Chef took out a bigger tennis ball gun.

Sparky shot bolts of electricity at the larger tennis ball gun, short-circuiting it. Chef took out an even bigger tennis ball gun.

Felix nervously walked over to clean up the other two broken guns. Chef quickly shot down all three experiments.

["On second thought, maybe it wasn't the best idea to team up," said Felix. Well, at least I don't have to listen to that horrible Pharrell song anymore."]

"News flash contestants!" Chris announced over the loudspeaker. "Reuben, Felix, Sparky, and Splodyhead have been eliminated from the challenge! That means there are only ten of you left! I'd hurry up with finding the PX-41 if I were you!"

Suddenly, Yang got an idea.

"HEY GUYS! I HAVE AN IDEA! WE COULD ALL SPLIT UP, AND WE COULD TEXT EACH OTHER THE LOCATIONS OF THE PX-41 IF WE FIND IT, SO CHEF DOESN'T HEAR US! DOESN'T THAT SOUND GREAT?"

Angel and Stitch and Bonnie and Clyde continued to kiss.

["I honestly don't know how any of these guys got farther than me last season. They're all totally useless!"]

"HUH, WHAT?" Stitch asked. "YOU WANT US TO SPLIT UP?"

"YES YOU IDIOT!" Yang replied angrily. "NOW GO!"

Yang, Yin, Angel, Stitch, Bonnie, and Clyde ran in completely different directions, whipping their phones out in case they found a vial.

Meanwhile, The EXperimentZ were searching on the movie sets to see if they could find a vial.

"HEY GUYS! LOOK! I FOUND ONE!" Richter shouted. "I'M GOING TO HEAD BACK TO THE CABINS NOW!"

"OK, GOOD LUCK!" Sample shouted back.

Suddenly, the group encountered Yin.

"OUT OF MY WAY EXPERIMENTZ, TRYING TO FIND A VIAL HERE," Yin yelled.

Yin heard something large and ominous in the distance.

"OH! CHEF! CHEF! WE'RE OVER HERE! COME AND GET US!"

Chef turned in the direction of the noise and started running, laughing maniacally. Richter and Sample sprinted the other way.

"UH, SLUSHY, I THINK WE BETTER START RUNNING," Melty shouted.

"Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof," Slushy sang as he stared blankly into the distance.

"UH, SLUSHY? SLUSHY? SLUSHY!" Melty shouted, waving and snapping in Slushy's face.

"Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth."

"THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD MAN!" Melty yelled. He yanked the earbuds out of Slushy's ears, disqualifying him.

"Huh? Where am I?" Slushy asked, dazed.

["Am I crazy, or did that song brainwash me? I knew there was something about that song that makes it so catchy..."]

Chef shot tennis balls at the the other four experiments, including Yin, taking each to the ground.

["It was worth it!" said Yin, with a tennis-ball-sized bruise on her head.]

"There are only five contestants left in the challenge!" Chris said to the camera. "Will 'Happy' make anyone else sad? Will anyone actually make it to the finish line? And will Angel and Stitch ever stop kissing? Find out after the break!"

After the break, Yang was seen sneaking through the elimination area. He saw a vial on one of the benches.

"Yes!" he exclaimed as he ran back towards the cabins. He took out his phone and started texting the others. "Hey guys. Just found a vial. Going 2 the finish line. Let me know if u found a vial."

Yang put his phone away. "I wonder how those other useless idiots are doing..."

[Stitch and Angel are hiding out in the confession trailer, kissing. Chef quickly opens the door and shoots them both.]

"Attention contestants: Stitch and Angel have just been eliminated!" said Chris. "There are only three of you left! Better hurry to the finish line if you want to win!"

Yang facepalmed.

["Oooooooof course."]

As Yang hurried to the finish line with his vial, he encountered Bonnie and Clyde, who also had vials.

"YANG! GET OUT OF THE WAY! BONNIE AND I ARE WINNING THIS CHALLENGE!" Clyde insisted.

"OH NO WAY, I GOT HERE FIRST!" Yang replied. "AND ANYWAY, YOU GUYS ARE PART OF MY ALLIANCE, SO YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT I SAY!"

"WHAT?! NO WAY!"

Suddenly, the trio heard footsteps. It was Chef.

"WELL IF YA WANNA WIN SO BADLY, YA BETTER RUN FOR IT," Bonnie said to Yang sarcastically.

Chef grinned as he cocked his tennis ball gun and shot Clyde.

"CLYDE! NOOOOO!" Bonnie yelled as she witnessed her partner be eliminated.

Chris was waiting at the finish line. "And with that, Bonnie and Yang are our winners! Congratulations guys, you're the team captains for this season!"

The two winners quickly pulled out their earbuds.

"Oh, thank god we don't have to listen to that stupid song anymore," Bonnie said.

Chris pulled out a microphone and spoke over the loudspeakers. "Attention contestants: the challenge is now over! Everyone report to the cabins immediately!"

After all of the experiments showed up at the cabins, with most of them bruised from the high-speed tennis balls, Chris spoke again.

"As you guys know already, Bonnie and Yang are the winners of the challenge, and that means they have immunity. They'll also be picking the teams in the next episode."

["I really, REALLY don't want to be on Yang's team again," said Angel worriedly.

"I'm kind of worried that Yang is one of the team captains this time," said Melty. "How do I know he's not just going to pick every one of his teammates off one by one?"]

"But I have a special surprise for you guys. Tonight, not one, but TWO experiments are going home!"

The experiments gasped.

"That's right, it's a double elimination! Choose your votes wisely, because the person you vote for could be your most valuable teammate, or someone you don't vote for could turn out to be your worst enemy! No pressure though! We'll come back to the elimination ceremony after the break!"

At the Gilded Chris ceremony, many various clips of Chris from the first season of Last Experiment Standing flashed across the screen, with an image of the Gilded Chris Award soon after.

The fourteen experiments sat in the seats of a giant amphitheater, while Chris wore a tuxedo and stood on a pedestal with a microphone.

"Good evening contestants! Welcome to the Gilded Chris Awards! This is where you'll be voting for who you want to eliminate whenever your team loses an immunity challenge. Each of you has been given an electronic voting tablet. On the tablet, touch a contestant's face to vote for them. Once you vote for someone, you can't take it back, so choose wisely! Now remember, you can't vote for Bonnie or Yang, since they both have immunity. Now, get voting!"

[Yang: Bonnie is my opponent this season, and what's the best way to make your opponent mad? Vote off whoever they're in love with. Bye bye Clyde!

Bonnie: Yang is the other team's leader, and I know just how to get him mad: vote off his girlfriend! Sorry Yin!

Clyde: Um, I'll vote for Stitch I guess.

Yin: I vote for Angel, for getting Yang eliminated last season. REVENGE!

Slushy: It was not cool of Yin to get the four of us eliminated. My vote's for her.

Melty: Even though Yin got us all out, I'm voting for Angel. She beat me in the final last time, and I want her gone as soon as possible this time.

Sample: *Plays a sample of Yin directing Chef towards The EXperimentZ* It should be pretty obvious.

Richter: *Takes a picture of Yin and rips it in half*

Angel: I would vote for either Bonnie or Clyde for going against the alliance, but Bonnie has immunity. I guess I'll vote for Clyde then.

Stitch: Well I'm obviously not voting Angel off, and I can't vote off Yang, so I'll vote for the next best thing: Yin.

Reuben: Sorry Angel.

Splodyhead: Sorry Yin, but water is my enemy. You're gone.

Sparky: My vote's for Clyde.

Felix: Clyde. Sorry man!]

"Now that we've calculated the results, it's time to hand out the Gilded Chris awards. The awards go to everyone who isn't going home. And they have chocolate inside! If you don't get a Gilded Chris, sorry, but your time is up. Since Yang and Bonnie won the challenge, they automatically get Gilded Chris's. The remaining Gilded Chris's go to: Melty, Sample, Slushy, Richter, Sparky, Felix, Splodyhead, Reuben, and Stitch."

The camera zoomed in on the three remaining experiments.

"Yin, Angel, and Clyde. One thing's for certain. Only one of you is safe. And that person is...Angel!"

"What?!" cried Yin. "But why?"

"Hey, I didn't vote for you. They did."

"So what now?" Clyde asked.

"What now you say? Well now, you both get to take a walk down the Red Carpet of Shame and catch a ride home in the lame-o-sine! Hey, look on the bright side. You guys get to be the hosts of the Aftermath show!"

"Really? Sweet!" said Yin.

"Well guys, time to go home."

"Wait!" Yang interrupted. "Yin, I love you! I'll try to win for us, OK?"

"I hope you'll do OK without me!" said Bonnie.

"Bye!" Clyde and Yin said in unison as they rode off away from the film set.

"And that's it for another thrilling episode of Last Experiment Standing: Movie Edition! Who will Bonnie and Yang pick to be on their teams? Who will be the first guest on the Aftermath Show? And will Yang ever stop being a jerk?"

"Hey!" Yang yelled offscreen.

"Find out next time on Last! Experiment! Standing! Movie Edition!"