Eventually, the day will come that I have to take my life into my own hands. The only thing is, what do I do with it?

In a way, school is more helpful than it seems. I'm not just saying this because it gives me a reason to go out and see my friends and other people very day. Sure, some people- including me- think it's a complete waste of time, but in those rare moments of clarity like the one I'm having right now, you realize something. If you weren't in school, taking notes and listening to lectures, scribbling things down about the 16th century emperor and glaring at sheets of paper, what else would you be doing? Me, I'd be in my house, in my room, playing games and watching anime and reading manga.

Now, if life could be that easy, if I had the option and the heart to drop out of school and just enjoy myself, you'd bet I'd take it. But the thing is, high school doesn't last forever. Eventually, it's gonna be over. And I won't be able to live a successful life by sitting around all day every day, getting nothing done whatsoever.

Options

"Hold it, everybody! Nobody move!" Kuroi-sensei's voice rose above the ring of the bell. Her announcement was met with cries of protest by some of the students. She ignored them and waited for the uproar to die down.

"What's up, teach?" I yelled out, somehow managing to grab her attention over the rest of the class. She turned her eyes directly on me, and her mouth formed into what I could only describe as a sadistic grin.

"In two days, I'll be handing out a sheet of paper to everyone. All you guys are going to do is fill it out."

".. What's the big deal, then?" Some random guy yelled out, and his question was met with a chorus of approval and agreement. There wasn't any need for me to join in, so I said nothing and watched my teacher expectantly.

"Let me read some of the questions out loud." Kuroi-sensei pulled a slip of paper- I knew it wasn't the actual form because of how small it was- out from her pocket and placed it on the podium. She cleared her throat, then started to read in a tone that implied either sarcasm or boredom. The one that most people took when they didn't feel like whatever they were reading was interesting or even worth the effort.
"Number one. Have you already planned your future beyond high school?
"Number two. If you answered yes to the previous question, write down what you have in mind after graduating. If you answered no, think about what you might want to do."

Now the impatience and annoyance room was all gone, replaced by the murmur of interested students. I gaped at Kuroi-sensei, who was still reading, for a couple of moments before closing my mouth and pressing my lips together.

"The career paper thing that always shows up in anime and manga.. It exists in real life?"

I hadn't even thought about what would happen after high school. I forgot that the school year would end eventually, and graduation marked the first day of freedom. From that day on, we would be living as adults. It would be like walking through a portal to another world- just that instead of teleporting us to another dimension, a whole ton of things would open up for us here.

".. achieve these goals, and will you need any help doing so? Remember, this is about your own future, so make sure you've answered all these questions truthfully. They won't affect your grade in any way whatsoever." Kuroi-sensei finished reading her notes, but I had barely heard her. She looked up and scanned the classroom with a smile playing on her lips; her eyes alighted on me, and they contained a somewhat disturbing glimmer of anticipation.

"Future, huh?" I mumbled under my breath. My words were lost among the muted whispers of those around me. I barely heard myself as I continued to mutter the same thing over and over: future, future.. My mind spun and whirled with the sheer thought of it.

"Kona-chan? It's time to go." Tsukasa's voice appeared in my head, and I almost mistook her for my own disturbed mental ramblings.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Thanks for reminding me, I think I was about to fall asleep from thinking about life!" I laughed, ignoring the feeling of incompletion that filled my heart, chest, and mind.

Options

I dropped onto my mattress with a satisfied sigh, having freshened up after arriving home from school. After pushing around my pillows and blanket covers, I made myself comfortable and stretched myself out. Even though I had extended myself the fullest, I still couldn't reach either the head or the end of my bed. It was a constant reminder of my height- not that I needed nor wanted one.

The idea of logging into my computer occurred to me, but I ultimately decided it wasn't worthwhile to leave the comfort of my bed.

"When I get my own room, I'll have it set up so that my computer is next to the bed.. That way I'll be able to play video games without waking up in the morning," I mused with a smile at the pure laziness that had led to the idea.
"I should've asked dad to do that for me a long time ago!"

With that, my mind drifted towards college. Funny how someone's mood can be ruined so quickly, if you look at it from a point of view where you weren't the one who had to deal with it. Needless to say, my idle thoughts evaporated and were replaced by the mental equivalent of having my breath cut off from me.

"Am I going to college?" I asked. It took a couple moments of silence before I realized nobody was around to answer. Blinking, I decided that it was okay to talk to myself just this one time, for my future's sake.
"Well, I should think about my options first."

I waited. And waited. I sighed, placing my hands behind my head, weaving my fingers through my hair and stroking the skin along the back of my neck.

"Nothing comes to mind besides getting a full-time job." I took a couple minutes to imagine myself spending all my time working at the cosplay cafe.
"Yeah, not happening. I won't be able to balance necessities, hobbies, or anything else for that matter."

I rolled over onto my side and stared across the room at the far wall. The weight on my chest continued to grow heavier and heavier..

"Other than that, I don't know what else I can do.. At least being in school would give me something to look forward to everyday. I'll bet college is a hell of a lot more exciting than just working. But damn what I know.."

The silence that followed was tense, but I felt a little more calm with each second that passed. I realized I had been working myself into a temper, and my deceased- almost crazy now that I think about it- mutterings were starting to become more pessimistic and hostile.

"I don't know.. I think I just need some time to calm down."

Another sigh. I have a habit of exhaling very dramatically, very often. Mostly when I'm alone, though. I have to stop myself from doing that excessively in public; I find that people who sigh often are usually seen to depressing or conceited. I'm neither of those, but I'm the type of person to think a lot, and sighing is just a result of thought.

As if there wasn't enough on my mind already, I began to recall the conversation from earlier, between me and Kagami on the train ride home from school.

"Hey, Konata."

"Hmm?"

"Did Kuroi-sensei talk to your class?"

"Mhmm. About the after graduation questionairre, right?"

"Yeah. I told my teacher that I was ready to fill it out, and she just laughed and said she didn't expect anything less of me. So, how about you? I'll bet you haven't put a single thought into it! Am I right?"

".. Definitely! I mean, what else did you expect from me?"

"As hilarious as it is, I'm legitimately afraid about your future, Konata."

"Eh.. It's fine. I've gotten by so far, so this shouldn't be any different."

"I hope you do realize how important this is! This is going to define the rest of your life, you know. You shouldn't just laugh it off and say everything will be fine, if you don't get your act together then who knows how things will turn out?"

"Ah.. haha, I'm glad you're so concerned about me, Kagamin. But really, don't worry! I've got everything covered! I'll either get a job or go to college. Whichever one is easier!"

"Ugh.. I guess I can't convince you to care. This is my stop, so I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Mm. Bye Kagami."

Our words echoed through my head. I wonder if I really meant what I said..

"Grr.. Whatever. I'll just go start up that MMO. I need some time to think.. I have two whole days, no point in rushing to a conclusion right now. After all, this is an important decision, right?"