DISCLAIMER: Trigun and its characters belong to Yasuhiro Nightow.
Meryl…images of Meryl swimming in his head…fading in and out like a mermaid swimming away and back…he swam after her…
Vash was shocked awake as a tidal wave of cold hit him. Surged back to life with a hacking cough that felt like his lungs were made of sand.
Eyes opened. His mind still worked. He searched the faces in the crowd surrounding him, looking for her. Couldn't find her.
Where was Meryl?
"Stand back! Everybody, give him some room!"
Milly Thompson would have made a great riot cop. Everyone cleared back at her authoritative voice. She was different than he last remembered her. Same body, same voice, but…she stood a little straighter, her eyes were a little older. She ordered stretchers be brought. The firmness in her commands – she was like a bigger version of Meryl now, no-nonsense and take-charge.
Oh, God – he suddenly hoped she wouldn't slap him like Meryl. His head would come flying off if she did.
Milly set down the bucket that had held the cold water now dripping off him. Bent down and opened each of his eyes wide.
"Ow! My eyes hurt! Stop that!"
Leaned over him and felt his neck, taking his pulse.
"Get your knee off my chest!"
She straightened up again. "Get him to the infirmary. The other one, too."
Vash fought back as they loaded his weak body on a stretcher. "Where is she?" he cried hoarsely. He slapped arms away from him. "Get away from me! I have to find Meryl!" Struggled to sit up.
Milly's stun gun poked in his face. "Mr. Vash, please settle down."
He had seen that thing at work too many times to argue. He laid down, but didn't give up. "Where's Meryl?" he demanded.
Milly strode away to the infirmary, leaving him to be carried along after, crying out for Meryl until his voice went so hoarse that he couldn't be heard.
Inside, she poured him some lemonade in a little kids' cup with a sippy lid. Put it in his hands with a salt tablet. "Take that and drink."
"Not until I see Meryl." He meant it to sound firm, insistent. It came out a whisper.
She busied herself checking over Knives. "Can't hear you. Pill. Drink."
So this was how it would be. Fine. Sulking, he took the salt tablet and slowly drank, barely able to tilt the cup to his lips and sip. Admittedly, it did feel like a miracle elixir. He drank the whole cup. Smacked his chapped lips. "S'good."
"I was afraid of that," Milly said.
"Huh? Why?"
"It's called 'bat sweat'. Lemonade loaded with sugar until it's too sweet, salt until it's bitter. If it tastes good, you're in more than bad shape. You're going to need to drink it until it tastes horrible."
What a load of thomas crap. He didn't have time to drink this whatever. He had to find Meryl!
Or not. Milly refused to answer his questions and demands until he had slowly drunk two liters of water, alternated with the "bat sweat" mixture. S-L-O-W-L-Y. If she thought he was going too fast, she would take the cup away and continue to ignore him. If he got feisty, she'd gesture toward the stun gun and give a faint, mirthless smile.
After a long time, Milly checked his vitals and nodded in satisfaction. "Looking better. That's enough for now. Rest, then we'll give you some more."
"How did you start doing nurse stuff?" Vash asked her. His voice was stronger. "You're not dressed like one."
"We don't have a regular nurse. We take turns. It's on-the-job training, but not too bad. Most people here know how to take care of themselves." She looked at him pointedly.
"When does Meryl come on-shift?"
For a second, she lost the in-charge vibe. Uncertainty flickered in her eyes. She opened a drawer and took out an envelope, tossed it on his chest. Left the room, head down.
Vash picked up the envelope and looked at it. His name was carefully written in a woman's handwriting.
He broke the tape seal to see what was inside. Read the letter within.
Vash,
If you're reading this, it means you made it back. That makes me glad.
You are a wonderful man. The most heroic man I have ever met. The most selfless.
You are so selfless that you have gone off to fight your brother over a race that despises you. So selfless that even though he will be trying to kill you, you will be trying to save him.
I see now that you give so much of yourself, you have nothing left to give me. I am selfish for wanting it otherwise, I know. Please understand that though I am sorry for my selfishness, I will never apologize for loving you.
I know you are a plant. I know you do not age the same as us. I know all the reasons it would never work. And that will never change the fact that I want us to try to make it work.
I could not take being around you when there is no room for me in your heart. Nor can I bear the thought that you have lost and will not be coming back. Take care of Milly for me. Take care of everyone, as you always do.
Please don't look for me.
Meryl
It was dated over a week ago.
He set the letter down on his chest. Sighed. Picked it up and read it again. And again. And again.
Folded it back up and put it in the envelope.
Please don't look for me.
Was this what she felt like at Jeneora Rock?
Vash raised his head and looked over at Knives, weighing risks in his head. He had not planned to leave Knives alone; he wanted his brother to have someone familiar around when he woke up, even if it was someone Knives hated. On the other hand, there was no telling when Knives would regain consciousness. It might be some time before he healed enough to do so. Even if he did become conscious soon, it would be a long time before he recovered enough to reach any level of dangerous.
Meanwhile, every second that ticked by was an opportunity lost. He made his decision.
"Milly!"
Not-Nurse Milly came back in. "Do you need something? Cool wrap or something?"
He needed only one thing. "Where is she?"
She stuck her chin out defiantly. "I'm the only 'she' here."
It was nice of her to try, but he didn't have time for this. He looked her straight in the eye. "Where's Meryl?"
Milly's chin trembled as she lost her confident pose. Any other time, Vash would have been gentler. But this was too important. He kept the eye contact until she crumbled.
"She went back to December! Back to the main office to request reassignment!" She began to wail. "Oh, Mr. Vash, why couldn't you have just stayed? Then Meryl would still be here and you'd be with her and it would almost be like before..."
Vash motioned her closer. She knelt and he took her hand. "I'm sorry, Milly. I couldn't save him for you. I had to at least try to save my own brother." She nodded tearily, trying to accept the way things were, and patted his shoulder. When she tried to rise, he kept her down. "But I need her address."
Mily sniffled. "I thought you might." She reached in a pocket and pulled out a folded-up piece of paper. "She left me this in case I changed my mind and went back. I want my friend back, but I really should honor her wishes, too. So I'm putting it back in my pocket." Her hand moved, and he heard the soft impact as the paper hit the floor. She stood and left the room.
He reached down weakly and picked it up. There was an address written on it in the same handwriting as the letter. Meryl's writing was precise, yet pretty, just a hint of flourish.
Vash tucked the paper inside the envelope. There was no time to waste; she already had too much of a head start. Any day, maybe even any moment, she could get her reassignment and be whisked away from him for good. He swung his legs over and forced himself up. Swayed dizzily, but caught himself. No time for weakness, he had to move.
He stepped out in the front room, clutching the envelope with its precious address inside like a lifeline. Milly looked up and saw him.
"Go lie back down!" she commanded.
He looked at her. "Knives is in too bad a shape to be dangerous. You'll be safe looking after him while I'm gone."
"I said lie down!" she thundered. He couldn't remember ever hearing Milly thunder. She'd learned well from Meryl. That didn't stop him as he started walking out.
Milly gave chase. "Mr. Vash, wait! You're in no shape to be moving right now. What do you think you're doing?"
He shrugged her off. "I've come this far for Meryl. I'm going the rest of the way."