Can't Find My Way Home

by Rednih

Lionel Luthor must raise three children alone after his wife's death: Alexander, Julian and. . . it. Warnings Include: Prior Non-Con, and SLASH.

2. Chapter 2

Interrupt

He dreamed. In that, he was. . . like others.

"Wonderful imagination."

"Creative."

"You look so much like us, except you're almost. . . too attractive."

"Does that feel good? Do you even have the same concept of 'good' that we do?"

"How I'd love to see inside that skull. . . see what makes you tick."

"Been busy, have we? You know he'll never know you as well as I do."

As always, 'now' grayed out and he was left swimming in voices again. As always, it was Lionel's voice shouting and twisting everything. It was the same as it always was. It had always been this way, and it would forever be. . . just as it was. Everything was just as it was: trees and stars, towers and sculptures and love, chains and pendants, torture, ecstasy, agony, guilt, shame. And it would always be one: separate from him. No matter what happened, he was always untouchable inside. He was himself a tower, a tower of stone and pikes and thorns and fire. No one and nothing could reach beyond his walls. No one could touch him. . . inside, where he really lived. He wasn't even here. This body wasn't him. They could do what they wanted with it. It made no difference to him. He wasn't even here.

It was important to remember that, to keep up the chant. When they got it in their heads to use the green in the experiments, whenever someone called him something cruel or looked at him with fear and disgust, when. . . when Lionel mocked him as he thrust himself inside. . . that's when he said the words. He was a tower of pain and misery. Any who stepped closer would feel it. All who touched him would suffer and die. It was just as it was, and always had been. . . but--

--not Julian. Julian was an angel. Julian was the face of God. Little Lian was everything that made him do this. And Lex was just busy. Lex had done the smart thing and escaped. It was too bad he hadn't done the right thing and taken Julian with him, leaving Colin and Lionel alone, together, where they belonged. They were like chains and metal disks, and torture and ecstasy, all together forever, as it had been forever, it seemed. For as long as he could recall, he had been here. And here is where he would stay.

He dreamed. . . often. Sometimes they were brought on by the green and, in that case, they were actually hallucinations. But they were still his. Those other worlds and lives he 'hallucinated' still came from inside him. He could think about them and draw them and paint them all he wanted. Lionel hadn't yet sent his 'doctors' into his brain. Until he did, Colin's thoughts and dreams and hallucinations were his own.

He dreamed of women with red hair, Lillian, most of all, but there were others. He saw a beautiful older woman, older even than Lillian had been, whom he called 'Mom' and kissed on the cheek. And there was a younger one who looked at him in wonderment and smiled kindly, and then he would always say, 'Lana.'

He dreamed of sweet girls with wide green eyes and changing hair, sometimes long and sometimes short, sometimes black and sometimes blonde. Sometimes they ignored him, and he fell over as they passed him by. And in the dreams, sometimes they wept in his arms and said they loved him, that they'd always love him. . . and then they left, or said horrible things to him, or just never understood all the things he tried to say.

Colin didn't like those dreams. They left him feeling even worse than lack of sleep did, than being kept in the dark in winter. He never drew those dreams.

He dreamed of women with brown hair and biting tongues. They said witty things and looked at him differently each time. They looked at him in awe, bewilderment, pity, anger, hurt. Sometimes, the women would look at him, and all he would see was 'I love you' written all over them. They clutched at him, stabbed him with pens, and once even turned their backs on him, leaving him alone in a city of tombstones and blood and eternity.

But the dreams he most often found himself in, the ones that hurt the most because he knew they would never be anything but dreams. . . were always about Lex. Beautiful Lex. Always-and-forever-separate Lex. Lex, who hated him.

But Colin couldn't stop loving Lex. Lex would always be safe from Lionel. Colin put letters under Lex's bed, the one in Lionel's house. He'd once rigged a small slot that ran along the under-edge of the bed frame and, inside, Colin put all the words he could never say to Lex's face. He drew him drawings, and one time he burned one of his paintings and gathered the ash, and put it in a bag that he stuffed in that slot. Sometimes, when he couldn't stand being alone and Julian was away or busy. . . Colin just went and laid down underneath Lex's bed and. . . talked to it, like he dreamed of talking to Lex, like they'd talked to each other when they were younger, when Lex had still loved him. Colin would always love Lex, no matter what happened. He and Julian would never know Lionel's 'games.' Even when the two of them were finally gone from this house once and for all, Colin would still protect them. . . in the only way he could. Lionel would never touch them as long as he still had Colin to play with. And Colin would never stop 'playing.'

It often struck him as absurdly humorous that no one had ever figured out what was going on, at least as far as the house staff and clever Lex and Lian were concerned. Lionel was never discreet, except perhaps in front of Julian. Otherwise, the man touched Colin in definitely un-fatherly ways all the time. In public. But no one cared. People only wanted money.

At times, the years he'd lived with Lex and Lillian at the house felt like hallucinations too. Reality as it was now was almost nothing like it had been then. The only constant was Lionel.

When he'd been 12 years old, a maid had resigned. That in and of itself wasn't all that unique. There was a very high turnover rate at the Luthor mansion.

No, what made this significant was that it was Daniel who'd quit, Daniel, the 'man-made maid,' the only real friend Colin had ever had.

Daniel had been walking down the hall on his way to cleaning the rooms, when Colin had emerged from within Lionel's bedroom. . . in nothing but a sheet. Lionel had left early that morning, and hadn't woken up Colin on his way out. Thus, 11 a.m. found Colin rushing to get back to his own room before anyone noticed his naked presence in Lionel's sex-messy bed. Unfortunately, he was too late, and Daniel had just stood there with his mouth open for the longest time. Colin had simply pushed past him and walked down the hall to his own room.

Later that day, a knock had sounded on his door, and Colin had known what he'd had to do. Daniel had said all the things he'd expected him to say, all the words a friend would say, and Colin had lied. He'd lied, and when that hadn't worked he'd pleaded. And just as he'd known would happen, Daniel hadn't bought any of it. He'd said Colin had to leave. Daniel had said he was going to call Lex, and then he was getting the police and--

Colin hated himself for the way he'd treated Daniel. He'd been his only friend, and Colin had just. . . been so awful to him. He'd threatened him, and shouted at him. He'd made it so Daniel would never say anything to anyone, but especially not to Lex. Colin didn't have that many regrets. He had wishes and dreams galore, but not many moments he'd go back and change if he could. He regretted that day, though. He regretted what he'd done in a way that nothing since. . . was anything, anymore. If Colin had ever had anything in him that was even remotely similar to humanity. . . it'd died after that. He'd lied, but it hadn't been for Lionel. It'd been for Lex and Julian. And he'd still hated himself for it.

And he wasn't even here. Every day, more and more of himself slipped away. More and more often, Colin would become aware of the fact he'd been doing nothing for hours on end except sitting and staring. And less and less did he think of life beyond Lionel. He couldn't remember his dreams, anymore. All his drawings were of Lex and Lian. He drew them so he'd remember, remember what he was doing this for. . . remember why he kept going. It was Lex and Lian, so that they'd have a life, while he and Lionel. . .

. . . dwelt in Hell forever.

***

By the time he and Chance managed to get to Jameson's townhouse, it was already pushing eight at night. The street lights were lit up, showing the lawyer's neighborhood for the clean, green upscale part of the city it was. Number 46. The business card he'd just been given that afternoon had Jameson's home address and private line scrawled on the back.

"Here," he'd said, gripping Lex's hands in his own. Something small and thin had poked in between their grasp. "Take this in case anything. . . should happen." Still holding Lex's hands snugly, Jameson narrowed his eyes a little and scanned Lex's face. "And use it, Luthor. You may need help, and I doubt anyone else you're in touch with has my resources. . . or reputation." The man's gaze had softened somewhat, and he'd finally withdrawn his hands to turn and walk behind his desk. Gaze seemingly on some papers stacked on his desk, Jameson'd said, "Now get back to those brothers of yours. I'll get the gears in motion here." He'd waved his hand in apparent brusque dismissal, and Lex remembered a smile tugging at his mouth. He'd left after that, quietly stepping out into the hall and closing the door behind.

The building had tons of windows, and the light coming in had been so bright and rejuvenating. Lex recalled hoping Colin was enjoying the sunshine.

Lex was jerked back to the present when the door in front of them opened, spilling warm light and spicy smells out into the air. Something had been cooked inside that house recently, and Lex realized he was hungry only when he felt his stomach rumble at the thought. He focused on the woman in front of him, and was surprised when she spoke first.

"You must be Alexander, yes?" she said in a heavy accent. Lex could tell it was something Eastern European in origin, but wasn't familiar enough with the region to know which country. "You have impeccable timing. Rick is dishing out the meal, and I know two boys who'll be relieved to see you."

Shifting her eyes over to Chance, she stepped back from the door and opened it wide, suggesting they enter. Lex passed through first and, after the woman had finished closing the door, held his hand out in order to make introductions.

"Yes, I'm Alexander Luthor, but please, call me Lex." Gesturing towards Chance, he said, "This is a friend, Chance Aerson."

"Ah. I'm Raisa, Rick's wife." Reaching out to pat Lex on the shoulder, she began gently pushing him forward. "Come, dinner is waiting. There is plenty for all you boys. Rick made cassoulet. Silly French name, but it tastes good. And good for you. We'll put some meat on your scrawny frames, yet!" And she slapped his back and laughed loudly as they entered what appeared to be the kitchen, the dining room visible across the way.

Lex was still a bit uncertain on his feet. All the events and revelations of the past few days, along with meeting Jameson and Chance, and the accident, had combined to make him jumpy and restless. He could see Julian sitting at the table, his brother's face smoothing out and relaxing as he caught sight of Lex. But Colin was facing away from the kitchen, shoulders hunched and head tilted to the left. They were seated at a large table, and Jameson was standing up dishing out something that looked horrible, but smelled simply delicious.

"There you are," Jameson said loudly, gesturing with a big silver spoon towards Lex. He turned to look at Julian, and said in a quieter voice, "Everything's fine now, son. We'll eat some and then talk." Now waving a bowl at Lex, he pointed at the seat next to Colin's. "Sit there, and your friend. . . "

"Chance. This is Chance Aerson."

"Yes, Chance. Chance can sit over here by me." He ladled and scooped a healthy portion of the food into the bowl and set it down in the spot where Lex had been ordered to sit. . . at Colin's left. And Lex couldn't help but think of their usual seating arrangements back at the mansion. Now he was the head of their broken family, and Colin was seated to his right. Guarding him? Lex was surprised at how comforted and warm he felt when he thought of it. He looked over at Colin and met his eyes, and smiled sincerely for what must have been the first time that day. Colin did a hilarious double-take, and then slowly. . . slowly, he smiled back.

It was a small, fragile, brief smile, but it was a smile, one that reached his eyes and meant the world.

***

After dinner had been eaten and cleared away, the three Luthors stumbling around in their attempts to help clean up, Raisa made some excuse about having work to do upstairs in the attic, and left them alone downstairs. They'd been shown into the living room and Jameson now appeared to be scrutinizing Chance, while Lian looked questioningly at Lex. Biting the bullet, he took charge and broke the awkward silence.

"Chance helped me at the accident. . . and after," he said firmly to Jameson, hoping that would defuse the almost-death glares his Good Samaritan was receiving from the lawyer. "We would've been in even worse trouble were it not for him."

"Helped you, huh," Jameson huffed out. "Do you want me to speak in front of them, Lex?" He indicated Lian, Colin and Chance with a wave of his wand. At Lex's decisive nod, Jameson took a deep breath before saying slowly, "You know what I think? I think your father set up that crash just for you. Whether as a warning, or for some other reason, he arranged it and is therefore watching you." He began talking with his hands, gesturing and weaving them around in front of himself. "If he knows where you are, then he knows what you're doing. . . what you're planning. Lex, how do you know that this guy," and here he jerked his head over to Chance, "is not some sort of spy?"

Lex phrased his response in his head carefully. He had to ask himself that question again. How could he be sure? Were his instincts good enough, trustworthy enough?

"I know when someone is lying to me," Lex said. "You learn that sort of skill when you live how we live." As he spoke, he glanced over at Lian, sitting beside him, and to Colin over in the chair across from them. "I just know, Mr. Jameson." As he turned to look Chance in the eye, he said, "He helped me. And he wasn't lying." Chance smiled sadly at him, and that sealed the deal for Lex. He turned back to Jameson once more. "I trust him. That's all there is to it."

The lawyer looked like he wanted to say something to that, but refrained. Lex took the moment to inquire about how Lian and Colin had arrived here, and Jameson put aside his concerns about Chance and answered.

"There was a knock at the door, and when I went to answer it I was faced with two boys with bags standing on my doorstep. Well, Lian here introduced them, and told me you'd sent them here in a hurry -- something about an accident -- so I brought 'em in, and Raisa sat them down and fussed over them while I cooked. Then you two," he pointed towards Lex and Chance, "showed up, and that's that."

"I thought my father might have been trying to get me out of the way. . . in order to get to them. I told them to go to you once I'd realized they could be in danger from Lionel." It didn't escape Lex's notice that Colin flinched at the name. His brother hadn't looked at any of them, just sat slouched low in his chair, staring at the floor. When Lex had said 'Lionel,' though. . . Colin had noticeably flinched and shifted. With the movement, the others' eyes had turned to look at him too, and Lex tried to shift the focus back onto himself and away from Colin.

"I told Lian to pack all the stuff from the room, and come here. You could help them, and look after them in case I. . . hadn't been out of the hospital so quickly." Lex deliberately phrased it like that, trying to express himself, while at the same time hoping to avoid any unnecessary pain blunter words might have caused. Sometimes euphemisms and understatements were called for, and he had no problem using them when talking about something like this.

Jameson looked at Lex and nodded. The man glanced at Colin and then back to Lex, as though he were trying to ask something. But Lex couldn't figure out what he wanted, and so gave him back a confused look, deciding to just jump in there.

"What?" he asked curtly. Jameson was scowling at him, but Lex had decided there would be no more secrets between him and his brothers, especially when they were all in the same room. To skirt around the issue or hide things wasn't possible for them any longer.

If they were ever going to be free of all this and still maintain even the faintest shred of hope for a relatively normal life, they would have to start relying on one another. And that meant sharing, and trusting, and taking responsibility for their actions. . . and inactions.

Lex was the one who'd failed, who'd doomed them to. . . this. Colin kept secrets and hid things, dangerous things, that he never should have been a part of. But Lex suspected he'd been keeping those things separate from Lex, separate from Julian. And Colin had been abused. Lex wouldn't put it past Lionel to have threatened and manipulated a four-year-old into secrecy. As much as Lex knew his brother hated it, Colin was the victim.

And Julian was so young, and yet he'd tried. The boy had done all he could to help Colin, but there was only so much a child could do in this kind of situation. Lex was the one who'd left and been so self-absorbed and selfish. He'd helped put them here, in this position, and he had to be the one to make it right. He had to make it better, and that meant hurting Lionel. It meant Lex had to bring down his father. He had to. . . for Julian. . . for Colin.

"What? What did that look mean?" Lex asked again, a bit confrontationally, he acknowledged, but the point had to be made. Besides, Jameson could handle himself. In fact, the lawyer lifted an eyebrow at Lex and a brief smirk affixed itself to the man's mouth before fading back into a more solemn expression.

"I'm wondering if perhaps you and I should discuss these things alone, let these two get some rest. There are three extra rooms here, and you're more than welcome to stay. And Chance can leave me his information and head out; I'm sure he has things he needs to be doing." And as he spoke, Jameson's eyes never once wavered from Lex's. There was still a slight quirk to his brow, and his voice was just shy of mocking Lex. It made Lex like him just a little bit more. . . and respect him.

Breaking Jameson's gaze, Lex turned to Chance. "He's right, you know. You've been stuck with me for hours. And while I appreciate you helping, I don't want you to get any more involved in this than you already are. You should head out." Lex had actually said things he sincerely felt. Chance had helped him, and Lex didn't want the poor guy on the wrong side of his father in repayment.

"Yeah," Chance replied, quietly. He again rubbed the back of his neck, and Lex mentally made a note of it. Must be a tell, he thought. Chance stood up from his chair and held out his hand for Lex to shake.

And Lex did shake his hand.

***

Chance left after writing down his phone numbers and address, which left the three Luthors and Jameson alone in the room. Colin hadn't moved, and Lian was still looking at Lex like he somehow had all the answers. Lex realized he'd missed that. He'd missed Julian looking up to him, and relying on him.

But now he felt like he was lying to the kid. He didn't have any answers; he had no clue what they were going to do. He looked over at Colin and saw for the first time in a long time the little boy he'd known. Colin was still that kid, that horrifyingly innocent child Lex had loved and looked out for. When Colin had come to live with them, the very first time Lex had met him, he could remember his first thought was, "He looks just as lost and alone as I am." It had been just after the meteor shower, and Lex had quickly learned no one liked a freak. But then. . . his father had brought home this little boy who was going to live with them, whom his parents had adopted. Lex had a brother suddenly. And he wasn't alone anymore. He had Colin. . . to play with, and show off to, and. . . and love.

And Colin was still here. He'd always been here.

And it was time Lex was here for him. He remembered those drawings Colin had done, that years ago he and Bruce had looked at. Drawn in the center of every figure's eye, there had been a little curly-haired boy. . . crouching in fear, huddled up just like Colin was now, in Richard Jameson's living room. And Lex understood now that he had to save that boy. And he would. He and Julian would save Colin, and none of them would ever have to be alone again.

***

Later, Raisa showed each of them to a bedroom. She put Lex in between Colin's and Lian's rooms, for which he found himself grateful. At least, he'd be able to hear if anything. . . went wrong. Though Lian had slept soundly the night before, Lex was definitely worried about Colin. The boy just kept looking worse and worse, more withdrawn and huddled in than he'd been even days before, when Lex had first arrived at the house. Surely he couldn't. . . be missing anything, could he?

Maybe he should see about a shrink for Colin. . . for all of them. An evaluation of his own sanity and reliability might actually be a good idea, and documenting Colin's trauma could only help them in the future fight against Lionel. He wasn't particularly looking forward to that conversation, though. Heaven knows, Lian would stick up for Colin, and Lex and Jameson would be forced to make them see why it should be done. A terrifying thought occurred to him. When was the last time Lionel had-- ? Was Colin hurt? Lex had never even thought to ask, but then how did you ask something like that? He didn't want to mess the kid up even more by asking him if he were. . . torn or something. . . but what if he didn't, and Colin really was and--

Lex flung the covers back, and stalked out of his bedroom. Opening his own door quietly, he turned to his left and gently tapped on Colin's, somehow sure his younger brother would be awake. However, receiving no acknowledgment, Lex decided to just peek in on him and make sure. . .

Well, Colin was in the bed, so that was a good sign, right? He appeared to be sleeping, which also boded well. As quietly and stealthily as possible, Lex walked closer to make sure Colin's dreams were pleasant ones, and not the nightmares he suspected must often plague him, if the constant dark circles under his eyes were any indication. But as he drew closer, he noticed two things. One, Colin was frowning in his sleep. And two, he was definitely naked from the waist up. The low light that filtered in through the window showed Lex a lot of bare back and the beginning swell of Colin's ass, with the sheet hiding the rest.

Shocked, Lex just stood there like an idiot before hurrying to withdraw. Colin wasn't tossing or turning, and waking him because he was frowning would lead to more awkwardness than either of them could handle at the moment.

As he climbed back into his own bed, he hoped to God Colin hadn't been completely naked. He'd been fully clothed the night before at the hotel, but then, he'd also been sharing a bed with Julian. And the sickening realization came that if Colin were accustomed to being awake at three in the morning, it followed that he was also used to wearing nothing to. . . bed.

***

Lex had tossed and turned for so long after returning to his guest room, he was a little confused when he suddenly became aware he'd just woken up. As he was trying to figure out exactly when he'd succeeded in drifting off, a scream sounded nearby. Barely hesitating, Lex literally jumped from the bed and, for the second time that night, went into Colin's room.

The scene was shocking and horrifying once he was able to make any kind of sense of it. Lian was trying shake Colin awake, while the boy continued to lie almost perfectly still on his back. The light was on, and Lex could see tears streaming out of Colin's eyes and running back into his hair. But other than his mouth and throat, Colin wasn't moving. There was no thrashing, no jerking. In fact, were it not for the screaming, Lex was certain he would have thought Colin. . . dead. He was deathly white, grey, almost, and there was a rigidity and stiffness to his body that was truly unsettling.

Lex quickly crossed over to the bed. While Lian continued shaking Colin, Lex placed his hands on either side of the boy's face and started talking to him. Things like, "It's okay, you can wake up now, no one's gonna hurt you, Lian's here, it's okay, Colin."

Abruptly the screaming stopped. Lex was dimly aware of more people coming in the room and of Lian stepping back, but he focused on the face below him and let everything else fade into the background. Slowly, slowly those Colin's eyes opened, and instead of the fear or pain Lex expected to see, there was instead. . . relief and. . . what could only be described as love.

"Lex," Colin whispered. And then the moment was gone, as though Lex's eyes were playing tricks on him and he'd simply imagined the whole thing. "What-- what are you doing here?" At this point, Lex withdrew his hands and stepped back a few paces from the bed. Colin abruptly sat up and looked around, a wild, terrified expression on his face. "Why is everyone-- what's going on?"

"You were having a nightmare, Colin," Lex said. He put his hands out in front of himself in a calming, 'settle down' motion. "You screamed, and Lian and I were just waking you up. . .okay?" He turned around, and saw Raisa and Jameson standing awkwardly near the door, each bed-rumpled and wide eyed. "Everything's okay, now. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to talk to my brothers alone, please." He tried to say this as beseechingly as possible and not at all snootily. He must have pulled it off because Jameson nodded and gently pulled his wife out the door, pushing it closed behind them.

Lex went to pull a chair closer to the bed, and gestured for Lian to sit down in it, as he began pacing. Then coming to a decision, he stopped abruptly, deciding to just say it.

"You were screaming, repeatedly. Loud enough to wake up even the Jamesons down the hall." Lex fixed his eyes on Colin and willed himself to ask, 'What were you dreaming?'. . . but, the words wouldn't come. Looking at Colin, seeing the remnants of the nightmare still clinging to him, Lex didn't have the heart to ask, to make his already traumatized brother relive that terror so soon.

Julian was sitting next to the bed, and Lex saw him slowly tilt his head to the side, and just. . . look at Colin with that kicked-puppy expression. At first Colin didn't respond, just stared back at him, but then. . . he deftly flipped the covers away from himself, revealing to Lex's immense relief that he was in fact wearing pajama pants, and stuck both arms out. Lex was confused. What the hell-- ?

But suddenly Julian was up on the bed, hugging Colin as if his life depended on it. And Lex found himself looking away. He turned his back to them, and walked to the window. Looking out on the snowy street below, Lex blinked away his emotion. Colin and Julian hugged, evidently often enough for it to be a comfortable act. They hugged. Lex hadn't hugged anyone in. . . did that time on the roof the other day count? But they were young enough to do that and not be seen as weak. Lex was an adult, he was a man. And he wasn't weak, no matter what anyone thought.

Turning back around, Lex was faced with two pairs of eyes focused on him. Julian was snuggled up to Colin, his arms circling his waist, while Colin had one arm behind Lian's back and the other across his chest, hands clasped together at the younger boy's shoulder. And Lex was brought up short by how incredibly young they both looked in that moment. Julian was only eight years old, no matter how precocious and advanced. Colin was fifteen. And both of them were so damaged.

"Are either of you going to be able to get back to sleep tonight?" Lex asked. Lord knows, he probably wouldn't.

"I think-- " Lian began. "I think I'll stay here, with Lin." Laying his head on Colin' shoulder, he quietly murmured, "Just in case. . . "

Colin was still looking at Lex. Thoughtfully. Lex felt surprisingly off-balance with those eyes studying him so closely.

"Yeah, I think I will, too," he said quietly. He moved to sit in the chair Lian had recently vacated, and slouched low as he stretched out his legs. Laying his head back, he looked again towards the bed. Lian's eyes were closed, his arms still clinging to Colin. And as Lex moved his eyes up, he met Colin's gaze. "I'm glad to see you taking care of each other," was what came out of his mouth.

There must have been a disconnect from his brain to his mouth because he didn't remember thinking anything even close to that. He was just tired. Usually he was better than this. It was just stress rendering him so inept.

As he finally closed his eyes, Lex swore he heard quiet humming. Not wanting to risk opening his eyes for fear that it would stop, he listened intently. . . and finally managed to place the tune.

When he'd been little, when Colin had been little, their mother had nearly every night put them to bed herself. She would read to them, and then Lex would wait in the doorway as she tucked Colin in, and kissed him goodnight. Later, when it was time for Lex to go to bed, she would repeat the process. And all the while, Lillian would hum one of her favorite songs. "Goodnight, Angel," she would say, as she kissed him on the forehead. Turning the light off, she would blow him a kiss and smile. And as she closed the door, he would hear her quietly sing, "But I can't find my way home. . . "

And so it was to Colin's voice that Lex fell asleep that night, and dreamed of his mother.

***

Breakfast was tense, something to which Lex had actually long ago grown accustomed. What was different this time around was the fact this meal was awkward and uncomfortable and yet didn't include his father's presence at the table. Usually the only times Lex truly felt off balance were due to Lionel hovering somewhere near. For once, Colin was the cause of the uneasiness, and the boy's attempts to fade into the background only highlighted the situation. Every day was increasingly more dangerous, for all of them, but for no one more than Colin. He had been the one most hurt, most neglected and abused, and he would be the one on whom everyone focused. The media was going to hound him mercilessly.

Lex hadn't charged his phone in the last two days, and consequently the thing had died sometime last night. When he'd finally recognized the problem and plugged the damn thing into the recharger, it was to the discovery of two new voicemail messages waiting for him. From Alfred Pennyworth. Bruce's Alfred. And after dazedly listening to them over and over again, he'd rushed to find the nearest newspaper, and had then moved on to the television, trying to understand what had happened. It couldn't really be true, could it?

God, what was he going to say? He'd probably just take one look at Lex and say something unnervingly close to home, and then Lex would grab him and kiss him hard and then punch him right in his beautiful fucking face for leaving like that. And then everything would be like it was. . . only not.

Maybe Lex would take Lian and Colin and go to Gotham. Bruce would let them stay there. Lian could go to school, safely away from their father, and Lex and Bruce would figure out how to bring Lionel down. And Colin. Lex would give Colin whatever the kid wanted. It would be up to him to decide what he wanted to do. He was smart enough, he could probably just test out of high school, easy. And maybe Lex could get him to just. . . have fun for awhile, get him to do regular kid things. Take him to a shrink, and do his utmost to show his brother that no matter what their father had done, Colin Marcus Luthor was no freak, at least, no more than any wealthy brat was. No more than Lex and Julian and Bruce were.

Bruce Wayne, back in the States after nearly three years missing. And he hadn't called Lex. Alfred had. They'd been best friends, at least, Lex had thought so. They'd been lovers, and partners in crime for years, and then Bruce had just. . . left, and now returned, and he'd never said a word to Lex. He hadn't said anything. People keeping secrets from him seemed to be a recurring theme lately. The newest fad: Lex Luthor mustn't know anything relevant.

***

Colin was sitting on his bed drawing when Lex found him. Julian was pretending to read a book, while none-too-subtly watching him, and Lex felt proud of his youngest brother. He was a good kid, through and through. He approached Lian's chair, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, I think I've got some good news," Lex said, trying to hide his own excitement and sense of relief. He now had back-up. Lian laid his head against the back of the chair, and tilted it up to look Lex in the eye, upside down. "Bruce is back in the country. I'm gonna try and get in contact with him soon, and we'll see if he can help us."

Lian looked pleased. . . distracted, but pleased. His eyes soon drifted back over to Colin, and Lex followed his focus. Pencils. Colin was using pencils today in his drawings, and was currently doing. . . something using only his fingertips. Shading? Adding those final small touches to his work that would transform it from a two-dimensional representation into something incredible, something so life-like it always stole the breath from Lex's body to see it.

And many of those works of art were gone now, Lex remembered. Thrown off the roof of their father's den of misery, they were most likely at this very moment nothing more than disintegrated bits of paper, ink, and graphite blotched and ripped into incomprehensible scratchings. Nothing like their former glory. Much like Colin in some respects, Lex thought.

And like his memories of their mother, Lex now realized those of Colin all took place while his brother was suffering. For every happy moment Lex and Colin had shared, there must have been hundreds of horrific tortures his younger brother had to have endured. For every smile and grin, there were years' worth of tears and screams. . . and their own father had caused them, forced them from his own son. Lionel. Lex couldn't see straight for all the rage that pulsed through him.

He came back to himself, when his shin knocked into the bedframe. Evidently, in his anger and devastation, he'd subconsciously decided to try and comfort Colin. Lex's hand hovered over Colin's slumped right shoulder, and he decided to just go with it and be rejected. He laid it down. And Colin looked up from his sketch book, and into Lex's eyes. There was no startled flinch or move away. Colin must have heard him move. It would have been hard not to, when the only other sounds in the room were each's breathing, the vague shuffling and ruffling sound of Colin's fingers on the paper in front of him, and occasionally, the rasp of a page being flipped from where Lian was sitting. Perhaps Colin simply chose to let Lex demonstrate his feeble attempt at brotherly affection and reassurance.

Lex wouldn't say the kid looked particularly happy by any means. Understandable and quite appropriate under the circumstances, but the kid didn't look uncomfortable, either. Quirking his lips a bit, Lex dared to look at the drawing under Colin's hands. He was quite shocked to see last night's dinner depicted in the shadowing and smooth lines he had come to recognize as Colin's preferred style.

Raisa and Rick, Lian, Lex, and Chance were all there, looking almost real enough to touch. And as Lex studied the drawing a bit more, he saw that Colin had even included a bit of himself there. While drawn from his perspective, Colin had been putting the finishing touches on a pair of familiar looking hands located at the bottom of the page. They were larger than the other objects in the sketch, and therefore drawn as being closer to the viewer, and Lex recognized those slim fingers as Colin's own. Beautiful, beautiful talented hands. . . just like their owner.

With his hand on Colin's shoulder, he could feel when his brother's head turned back to look at the drawing. Then a silky smooth slither followed, as long locks of jet-black hair fell across the back of Lex's hand. Colin had been in the middle of adding nails to his sketched hands, and Lex was mesmerized by his real hands' movement. The flip and curve as he used the pencil, and then the small, slight smears that changed so much, and suddenly Colin stopped. Lex looked at his face, and saw Colin biting his lower lip and squinting his eyes as he tilted his head away. Then he looked up at Lex and said quietly, "There. It's all done." And for the second time in as many days, Colin smiled at him. And it reached those magnificent eyes.

"It's amazing, Colin," Lex said throatily. He couldn't seem to catch his breath with Colin focusing so intensely on him, and decided to include Lian in this rare peaceful moment. "Lian, come look," he said as he reached out his arm towards the boy. His left hand remained on Colin's hot shoulder, and Lex had no intention of removing it any time soon.

Colin's smile slowly bloomed into a crooked grin as the youngest Luthor came bounding across the floor. Lian full-on jumped onto the bed, making the bed bounce and all of them laugh. He leaned over and looked questioningly at Colin. Receiving a smiling nod, Lian gently moved the sketch pad over to his own lap and looked with intense concentration on the rendering of the previous night's dinner. A smile came over his face finally, as he looked back up at both of them.

"It's last night, right," Lian said, in a tone that made it apparent he knew the truth, and was only being hesitant. His eyes returned to the page, as he said in a wondering voice, "God, Colin, it's so beautiful." He looked over at Colin, and Lex could see light reflect off the tears in his eyes. "You're so talented, it's unbelievable." Eyes drawn back to the drawing once more, as though pulled there, and Lian murmured so quietly Lex almost didn't catch what he'd said. "I wish you believed that."

A slight tremble under Lex's hand attested to Colin's hearing the words also, and Lex decided that perhaps he should leave them alone and try Bruce again. Lifting his left hand, he lowered it back to his side, tucking his hands in his pockets and unconsciously leaning away from the bed.

"I'm going to go call Bruce, see if he answers this time, so I'll see you guys in a bit." And with that, Lex ignored both questioning looks he received in reply and left the room.

***

"Wow," Lex said dryly into the telephone receiver. "I'm amazed I finally got you. And here I thought I was being ignored. . . for three years." He tried to keep his voice on this side of bitter, but had the feeling he'd crossed over into near-woman-scorned territory.

There was a sigh, and then silence for a moment.

"I understand why you're. . . upset. . . but I promise I'll give you my reasons for leaving and secrecy, soon. As soon as I see you." And Lex could hear the smile in the voice as it next said, "You don't have any idea how wonderful it is to hear your voice again, Lex." Hell, Lex knew just which smile it was, too: the small, crooked one Bruce used when he was most amused. It almost always preceded a chuckle, which was Bruce's version of a laugh. Lex had never heard the man actually laugh.

"Yeah, well you just remember how wonderful I sound the next time you get it in your head to go gallivanting around the world for long stretches of time, with no word to those who care about you." Lex waited a significant beat for comedic effect and then said, "Like Alfred."

And there was the chuckle. Lex felt like his face had split in half, he was grinning so big.

But. . . it felt right to grin. He was in his own guest room of the Jamesons' house, both of his brothers were relatively safe in the room next door, and he was on the phone with Bruce Wayne. Bruce, who was chuckling, and sounded happy to hear from him. Bruce, who would help Lex make everything right again.

***

The Julie was an upscale restaurant located approximately ten minutes from the Jamesons' house, and completely on the other side of Metropolis from Luthor Plaza. . . and thus Lionel. The reservation was for two in the afternoon. No chance of running into crowds or any of his father's business associates. Bruce had arranged it, and Lex had no complaints. The man had always been exceptionally good at strategy. The few times Lex played Bruce at chess, he'd had his ass handed to him with a constant smirk hidden behind the winner's hand. And while Lex hated to lose, seeing Bruce do his version of a smile well made up for it. Whenever Bruce 'smiled,' a small dimple appeared in his left cheek. One memorable time, Lex had tickled him until he swore Bruce actually giggled, and the dimple became visible. He'd kissed that spot, and licked it. . . sucked and bit Bruce's cheek trying to get closer to that small bit of innocence left in his friend. Now he wondered if it would still be there, and what he would do if it weren't.

As he entered the glass and metal building and approached the maitre'd, Lex let his gaze roam around what was visible of the dining areas. Only two tables were filled that he could see, which spoke well of their ability to be private and unheard. What he and Bruce would be discussing didn't need any more drama than it already had surrounding it.

"May I help you, sir?" a voice asked. Lex looked back at the podium in front of him, where a middle-aged man in glasses wore a polite, expectant expression on his face.

"Yes," Lex responded, moving forward. "Party of two. I'm not sure if the reservation is for Luthor or Wayne." He had barely finished saying his own surname before the man began to nod his head quickly.

"Yes, sir," he said, sounding even more obsequious and obliging. "Right this way, Mr. Luthor. The other party has already been seated." And he turned and began walking through the restaurant. Lex was surprised by how empty the place seemed to be, and how far back their table was. They just kept walking and walking and he still couldn't see Bruce.

Finally, the maitre'd took a left around a corner. . . and there he was. Bruce rose from the table as they came nearer, and Lex waited until the maitre'd retreated before moving around the table to stand directly in front of his. . . Bruce. The corners of the other man's mouth curled up and he raised an eyebrow.

"Are you going to slap me?" he asked.

"No, I'm not going to slap you," Lex snapped. "Though you may have been MIA for several years, I assure I still possess a certain sense of dignity and command. If anything, I'd like to punch you right in your smug mouth, but as we're in public," he briefly looked around, "sort of. . . I feel the need to refrain." He lowered his head and tried to deliver a menacing look as he said, "But once we're alone, you'd best watch out, you bastard."

Bruce just chuckled and then nodded his head solemnly.

"Of course, Lex. I would expect nothing less from such a noble creature as yourself." But he chuckled again, and Lex found he couldn't keep a straight face, either. He reached out and dragged Bruce in close for a manly, back-slapping, public-friends type of embrace.

"God, Bruce," he whispered, and was semi-mortified that his voice broke over the name. But Bruce wouldn't care. In fact, he'd most likely love the fact that Lex had been pining for him for the last three years. Bruce pulled back, but gripped Lex's upper arms, as he looked deep into his eyes. Lex was a sucker for eyes. All the looks in the world couldn't make up for a bad set of peepers in his opinion, and Bruce had. . . incredible eyes. Pale, and yet dark. They were ice-blue in color and so old Lex always felt sad looking into them. Intense. Bruce's gaze, like the man himself, was intense and all encompassing.

"I missed you," Bruce said, as his right hand briefly touched Lex's temple and then slowly slid down cheek and chin, gliding across his throat to finally rest on a shoulder. "It's so good to see you, again." Bruce's face had been surprisingly open from the moment he'd first spoken, but now as the man slowly backed away, he adopted a detached expression. He'd pulled up his socialite mask in front of Lex. Lex just sighed, and moved to take the seat across from him.

***

Midway through the meal, after Bruce had briefly attempted to describe to Lex what he'd been about during his time 'disappeared,' and silence had settled over the table, Lex decided to catch Bruce up on the Luthor family drama and dysfunction. Taking a few deep breaths as he thought over what to say, he was startled when Bruce beat him to it.

"So, what's going on, Lex? You sounded. . . strained when we talked the other night." Bruce himself took a deep breath, and the mask had cracked again when he next met Lex's eyes. "Did Lionel. . . do something?"

And Lex was dumbfounded. The way Bruce had hesitated, the way he'd said 'Lionel'. . .

"Bruce, what-- ?" Lex began, but was interrupted.

"I-- I know, Lex. About Colin. I figured it out a long time ago." Bruce looked thoroughly contrite, at least that's what Lex would have called it. He'd never seen him so upset or. . . just guilty-looking.

"What? What do you know. . . about Colin?" He had to force himself not to fidget, to maintain eye contact and keep his breathing regular and under control. Bruce had known? Bruce had known and hadn't said a word.

"That first time I came to stay with you, during Winter Break, that's when I realized something was. . . wrong." He shrugged and stared at his now abandoned chicken marsala, only half eaten. Lex was starting to get seriously pissed off. Bruce looked back up at him, and licked his lips in one of his few nervous gestures; at least that hadn't changed. "I didn't know for sure, really. I just-- I recognized the fact that he, Colin-- I saw the trauma in him, Lex. I saw my eyes in his face."

Well. Well, that sort of explained it, then. Bruce's own. . . 'problems' were a taboo subject. It made a certain kind of sick sense that if he'd seen some of himself in Colin, he wouldn't talk about it. Ever. To anyone, not even Lex. Once, back at Excelsior, one of the teachers had filed a request that forced the Dean to take a second look at Bruce's so-called 'coping skills.' Evidently during a discussion on nature vs. nurture, one of the many asshole bullies had made a comment about Bruce. . . and his parents' death. And Bruce flipped out. Pummeled the kid, and it took four guys to pull him off. He was required to go to a shrink for months after that.

Sometimes Lex got the feeling that Bruce would never be able to be happy. There were moments where he seemed content, maybe, but Lex had never seen him smile. There had never been a twinkle in Bruce's eye the entire time he and Lex had known each other. It felt like Bruce was only half there, like half of him had died with his parents, and the other part was doing its best to act as though nothing had happened at all.

And hadn't he been thinking a lot lately how similar Bruce and Colin were? Now he could see why. Both of them were just so. . . broken, like birds who'd never had the chance to fly. Children. Somewhere inside both of them were those terrified boys they'd once been. Bruce -- stuck in that alley with his parents' bodies, sitting there as they grew cold. And Colin. . . Lex had recently begun to suspect that he didn't even know the half of what had been done to his brother. That screaming the other night , screaming and crying, while lying perfectly still, had scared Lex so badly, he knew he'd never forget that scene.

But if Bruce were still so. . . messed up, was there any hope for Colin?

" --Lex? Lex!" His name was being called, and he jerked his head up from his unseeing study of his breast of duck. Bruce. Poor, poor, so sad Bruce.

"Yes?" he asked. His breath was quiet, almost a whisper.

"Where are your brothers? Surely-- surely they're not at the house. A hotel?"

Lex mentally shook himself, and found it easy to tell Bruce the truth. He was still his best friend. Apart from Lian, he was kinda Lex's only friend. And how sad and pathetic was that? That his only friends on this earth were his younger brother and a man who'd disappeared and left him behind three years ago without even saying goodbye.

"No, Bruce. They're at my lawyer's house," Lex said, looking across the table as he tilted his head. "I was finally told what was going on and got them out of there. . . God, was it only a few days ago?. . . It feels like a lifetime."

"But they're okay? You're okay?" Bruce clenched and unclenched his right hand, which rested on top of the table. Lex knew what that gesture signified. It meant Bruce wanted to reach out, but was either afraid of rejection or deemed the setting inappropriate. Perhaps both.

"I'm fine. Lian's fine. Colin's. . . not, but that's to be expected." And now he felt the anger and resentment begin to pulse and beat within him again. Lex leaned forward and nearly hissed as he said, "Why didn't anyone tell me this was happening? You knew. Lian seemed to know something was going on, too. And Colin. . . Why wasn't I told?!"

Bruce looked paler than usual after Lex said that. He forced himself to sit back and calm down. Sure, there wasn't anyone else near them, but it wouldn't do any good to take it out on Bruce. It wasn't his fault. None of this was Bruce's fault. The man had his own hang-ups, as witnessed by the fact that he'd pretty much run away from himself and everyone who knew him. So throwing this all on him, blaming Bruce for not telling Lex that. . . that his own father was abusing and molesting his younger brother, wouldn't get any one of them anywhere safer. They needed Bruce. Lex wanted Bruce around. He needed Bruce. Bruce would help.

Lex had let his gaze drop back down to his plate, and he didn't immediately raise his head as Bruce started speaking quietly and rationally.

"No one wants to tell someone whom they love things like this, Lex. Lian is young, perhaps too young to really get it all. And I-- I couldn't say that to you. If it were untrue, if it had all been a mistake or something completely different, and I caused you pain and the loss of your family, I never could have forgiven myself. I just-- I wanted to wait and watch, and I ended up waiting too long, and I stopped watching."

Lex gathered his courage to look at Bruce, and when he did he found his anger truly gone. Well, his anger towards Bruce, anyway.

"I understand, Bruce. I do," Lex told him. "I just wish things. . . but it doesn't even matter what I wish, does it?" His gaze turned unfocused and far away, as his eyes drifted over to the window on the right. "It happened, and it happened this way, and now we have to get through it." He felt himself inexplicably tearing up, and summoned all his willpower to push those damn tears back down. But when he looked back at Bruce, he saw the same emotions and regrets on his face, too. Muted, but there nonetheless. Bruce understood. He'd always understood Lex. And it hit him again like a ton of bricks, after three years of pushing the feeling down, denying it, ignoring the pain it caused: He loved this man.

"I need your help," Lex said. "I need you to help me, to help us."

And Bruce got that smirk on his face again, this time it almost broke Lex's heart to see. For there was that dimple on his left cheek and those still sad eyes, and this was how Lex had remembered him while he'd been gone. Sad and beautiful and broken Bruce.

"Oh, Lex," he said, lightly. . . for Bruce. "All you had to do was ask."

***

As they got into Bruce's car, Lex couldn't help but smile. . . if only to himself. Wouldn't do for the gossip-mongers and so-called 'media' to get photos of him grinning like a loon at Gotham's recently returned Prince. They might get the right impression. Or at least, Lex hoped it would again be the right impression. Hopefully, Bruce was still. . . interested. . . beyond just being friends. But then, who knew what that man had up his sleeve. He'd briefly, loosely laid out his grand plan to redeem and save "his city". . . a term the man had used himself. At first, Lex thought maybe Bruce had hit his head while abroad. But then he'd reminded himself that this was Bruce Wayne, and everything fell back into place.

Bruce insisted that they go to the Jamesons' house, and meet with both Rick and Lex's brothers. And he demanded that Lex let him drive, which Lex thought hilarious and totally Bruce. Lex drove recklessly, even he knew that. Hell, he'd yet to tell his friend about the 'accident' he'd been in the other day. And yes, while it was becoming clear that Lionel had orchestrated the whole thing, Lex had done a magnificent job of being utterly predictable and playing right into the bastard's hands.

So Bruce drove. Fine with Lex, it allowed him to engage in a long-unavailable hobby of his: Bruce-watching. Those strong, and he would attest, quite nimble too, sleek hands, guiding the, of course black sports car easily and deftly through the snowy streets of Metropolis. Perfectly tailored suit and overcoat. And when in the hell had he had time to have that made? The man had only been back three days! Jesus, Bruce got more accomplished in three days than Lex could in three months! And hair slicked back, showing off that beautiful, handsome face. Bruce wore a surprisingly bright blue shirt and tie, which made his eyes stand out even more. Lex had expected black and grey. That's all he'd seen Bruce wear. . . before. Now he wore colors and Lex wasn't sure if that meant anything or not. Probably Bruce just playing the game. After all, sane and happy billionaires didn't wear only black and grey. And Bruce was definitely in the limelight right now, after his abrupt return from the 'dead.' Better to play it safe, Lex supposed. Still. . . it kinda freaked him out.

Bruce didn't speed. He boringly observed all the rules of the road, and it took them a full ten minutes longer to reach the lawyer's house than it had for Lex to drive to the restaurant. Well, it wasn't like they really had to rush over there, or anything.

Bruce parked behind a blue Supra on the street, and they climbed the steps side by side, arms and shoulders bumping and brushing against each other as they moved. Lex had the feeling Bruce was doing it on purpose, if the man's smirk were any indicator, and felt a brief sense of reassurance. Well. And mentally shook himself. Later, he thought. Now, they had to. . . talk.

Lex barely got one knock on the door before it was jerked open, and his hand was hanging in a fist in midair. He quickly lowered it and smiled at Lian, who was standing half-blocked by the heavy mahogany wood of the door. Lian wore an expression of pure shock, and Lex watched as it gradually morphed into one of happy surprise. The boy stepped back from the door, opening it wider and waving them both in.

"Lex! Bruce! Uh, hi, Bruce," he said after he'd shut the door behind them and turned around to face them. He was still looking dazed, and Lex couldn't resist chuckling. He just looked too funny. Lian turned to him and gave him a weak glare before laughing himself. He then turned back to Bruce and stuck his hand out, ever the proper little gentleman. "Bruce, I'm so glad you came," he said enthusiastically. Bruce's expression lit up a little bit, and his mouth turned up into what, for Bruce, constituted a sincere smile.

"It's good to see you again, too, Julian. Is your brother around?" Bruce asked, knowing full well that Colin was nearby.

"Uh, yeah," Lian said, withdrawing his hand and tucking it into his pants pocket. And as Lex looked down, he realized that they were both standing the same: hands in pockets, slightly slouching. It made him smile. That was his little brother. . . and yet, he felt something else, too. It wasn't quite guilt or purely sadness, but his thoughts brought him back to Colin and that memory of long ago, when the boy had told him he deliberately used his left hand. So he could fit in better.

"He and Mr. Jameson are in the study," said Lian, effectively cutting short Lex's inner monologue. "It's this way." Lian gestured to the coat rack, and then turned and waited for them at the entrance into the hallway. He and Bruce took off their coats and hung them up, then both moved towards the doorway and Lian.

As they walked along, Bruce would often glance Lex's way, and then look around quickly, as though he were afraid of getting caught staring. Lex was just confused. He'd never been able to really tell what Bruce was thinking, and this just highlighted that fact. What? What was going on in that man's head?

Lian stopped in front of another dark mahogany door, and opened it for them, standing back to allow them inside first. Lex took the lead, wanting to know what he and Bruce were walking into and trying to figure out where they each should sit for optimal evil-business discussion.

Jameson rose from behind his desk, and started walking around it. Bruce brushed past from behind Lex and waited at his side to be introduced. Lex looked around for Colin, and found him sitting in the corner, as far away from the other chairs and the desk as he could get and still be inside the room He had his feet on the floor and his hands in his lap, looking perfectly calm, cool, and collected. Lex was somewhat shocked, to say the least. Then he remembered his first day back in the city, and that 'meeting' with Lionel in their father's study. Colin had been distant and cold and secure then, too. It reminded him of someone, but he couldn't at the moment put his finger on whom.

Turning back to Jameson and Bruce, Lex made the introductions. Then he chose the middle seat in front of the desk, and sat. Lian, as he'd guessed, took the one to his left, closest to Colin and Lex. Bruce gracefully lowered himself into the chair on Lex's right. He hadn't made Colin greet Bruce -- made, Lex? You could have made him, hmmm? he thought -- and Bruce seemed to follow his lead. He'd nodded at Colin, and managed to somehow be ignored and stared at at the same time.

Again, Lex was confused by Colin's demeanor. It was on the tip of his tongue. He had a sense of deja vu, of seeing that before--

And abruptly, he realized where and when and by whom. Whom Colin was imitating. And he felt sick. And stupid for not putting it together, for not thinking of it earlier. Whom had Colin spent the most time around? Who took him to meetings and dragged him around and made his life hell? Who was a sick fucking bastard, and Lex's own father?

Lionel. Colin was acting like Lionel Luthor. God.

"Mr. Wayne, it is a pleasure to meet you," Jameson said, and Lex jerked back to awareness, and away from those horrible thoughts. Rick was looking at Bruce from his seat behind the desk, and he seemed pleased, though Lex was unsure of how he came to that conclusion. The man wasn't smiling, or anything. He was talking faster, though, and was a bit more animated, so perhaps that was it. "I understand that you are a close friend of Lex's, here, and I have been told in no uncertain terms," a brief look over at Lex, "that you are to be privy to everything about this case that is discussed. So," Jameson said, leaning back in his chair and clasping his hands together over his stomach. "Where would you like me to start? As one of the family," a longer look at Lex, and perhaps a small grimace, "I'll leave it up to you to decide. I've come to understand that my clients can be a little. . . temperamental and opinionated." Jameson smirked and continued with, "Best to let you start, I think."

The snarky bastard, Lex thought. He just loved goading Lex, and Bruce seemed somewhat amused, too.

"Well, I'd like to know what's going on, what kind of action is going to be taken." Bruce looked over at Lex as he spoke next. "I'm not entirely sure what's happened, exactly. If that's all right?" He looked a little unsure and Lex began to feel nervous. He hadn't told Bruce what was going on. . . exactly. He'd just assumed that Bruce would already have put it together, somehow. But that was foolish. Bruce was many things, but a mind-reader wasn't one of them. Sure, he was aware of what had happened to a certain degree, but. . . but.

"Well," Jameson began, and then fell short. "As I understand it-- "

"What is it you want to know exactly. . . Bruce?"

Lex turned quickly to look at Colin. God, the way his voice had sounded had startled him badly, he hated to admit. For one brief moment, Lex had thought Lionel was behind him. It was his father's tone, all insinuation and mockery, and to hear it come out of Colin's mouth was horrifying and sickening. And the look on the boy's face, now. . . Jesus, was he the only one freaking out here?! Lex took in both Bruce's and Jameson's expressions and saw that he wasn't. But when he got a good look at Lian's face, all he saw was a sad sort of resignation. Had he seen this before? Had Julian heard Colin talk like their father before? Must have, for he didn't seem surprised. And Lex felt the guilt burst forth again. He hadn't been there; he hadn't seen this. Lex wasn't there for either of his brothers, and now he was witness to a small part of what Colin had become. Half of the time he was a nervous, broken wreck. . . and the other? Lionel's clone. Where was Colin?

Oh, Lex had his 'Lionel moments,' as he'd come to call them. At school, with his peers who thought he was stupid and had bought his way into Harvard and good grades, and with the professors who hated him when he challenged them. . . Lex often found himself cutting them down with a look or a wicked turn of phrase he was sure his father would have approved of. But to see Colin-- Lex never imitated Lionel, he never spoke with the man's cadence or posture. Lex acted like himself. It was only in his theorizing or strategizing that he accepted that sometimes his father's way was more effective. Colin was channeling their father, and didn't look a bit shocked that he was doing it. Or aware.

"Colin, what are you trying to do?" Lex asked. "Don't take this out on Bruce. It isn't his fault that-- !"

And at his words, Colin's face transformed from gloating mockery to terrible anger and confusion. Lex was stunned into silence when Colin's eyes became shiny and tears formed.

"No, it's not, is it, Lex? It's no one's fault, right? Certainly not yours, or Lian's. . . or Bruce's. It's not your business, either!" Colin stood up and his hands were in fists, just like that day in Lionel's study. . . "Did I ask you to come back?! Did I ask you to save me from the big bad monster?!" And Lex was terrified, for Colin kicked his chair away from himself, and stepped closer to Lex, looming over him, and so full of. . . rage. He leaned down and said quietly and breathily into Lex's ear, "I made the mistake of trusting you a long time ago, dear brother. And look what happened." And suddenly he was being grabbed by the chin, and forced to look his brother in the eyes. God, Colin had moved so quickly. How had he-- ?

And God! those eyes. Tears were rolling down Colin's cheeks unchecked, unnoticed. And Lex would've sworn that at that moment, Colin had disappeared. Who he was looking at, being forced to look at, was not his brother. Lex didn't know the man in front of him, for this was no boy, no teenager gripping his face hard. This was a man who'd been left as a four-year-old to Lionel, to be done with as that fucking monster pleased.

"Look, Lex. Look at me. Look at what I am, now, and remember. You remember that little boy I was, and you just imagine what he did to him." Colin was so close, so near, Lex could feel each puff of air as it crossed his lips. "I'm not him, anymore. I don't need your help. You left. You went away and left him behind, and now you're trying to make it all better for him, but he's not here, Lex!" He started shouting right in Lex's face, still so physically close, close enough to kiss, but so far, far away. "I don't need you. Keep your guilt and run off with Bruce, and leave us alone!"

--and then Colin was gone, and Lex was released from that damning stare and brutal grip. And he couldn't think of anything to say.

And Colin was gone. And all that was left was Lionel's boy, Lionel's creation. . . Lionel's. Colin was gone.

***

Interlude

He'd seen that coming. Hadn't Lex? As if Lin weren't freaked enough, Lex brought Bruce here? He's just been gone a long time. He doesn't know him, anymore. After Lin had vanished, Bruce and Mr. Jameson immediately started asking Lex questions about where he could have possibly gone.

They didn't ask Lian.

He wasn't stupid or naive. He knew some of what had happened to Lin. . . more than Lex, he would bet. Who took care of Lin when he felt awful? Who talked to him, and sat with him, and laughed with him? Who held him when he cried? For Lin did cry sometimes. Not often, not every day or week, or even every month. . . but Lin cried, and Lian was who he came to when he did. . . or who found him. Lian. Not Lex or Bruce.

And he understood why Lin was angry at Lex. They had been so close when Lian was young. And sometimes, sometimes he remembered them like he thought other kids might think of their parents. Lin and Lex were his mom and dad. They had looked out for him, and put him to bed, and taught him things. . .

. . . and now Lex seemed to have forgotten how to even talk to Lin. Lin wasn't any different than he'd ever been, so why couldn't Lex just. . . be like he used to be?

And he knew where Lin had gone now; he just couldn't believe Lex didn't. Just another thing he's forgotten. But he couldn't really feel that angry at Lex. Sometimes Lian, too, wondered what life would be like if he weren't a Luthor, if he lived with a different family, and had a real mom and dad and nice friends and. . .

But he did have a dad, didn't he? An evil monster of a father.

Everyone was always telling Lian he was smart, intelligent. Sometimes they even said he was genius. And Lian loved to read. He tried to read a little of everything: literature books, science and history books, books on mathematics and space, society and culture. Once, he'd even finished a huge book on manners and high class customs. It was boring, but, with his family, he figured that stuff might be useful to know. In the science books, there were anatomy sections. And in the literature books, there were sometimes parts that talked about. . . abuse, and-- and sex. In one novel, the main character was a girl who'd been. . . molested and beaten by her new stepfather. And Lian had had a hard time reading that one. He wasn't stupid; people said he wasn't. And he knew a lot of things, more than all the other kids in his class.

And he knew what had happened to Lin.

And Lian knew who had done it.

Dad had done to Lin what that girl's stepfather had done to her. And he'd done it for years. To Lin. To Lian's best friend, to his brother and protector.

But by the time Lian had realized what was going on it was too late. He couldn't do anything; he couldn't help.

One time, when he and Lin were lying on the couch watching a movie, Lian had sucked up all his courage and asked his brother a question. He'd asked him why he was so sad all the time. Colin had looked at him for a long moment, and then he'd said, "Because I know what the world is really like. And I know my place in it." And that was it. He'd left the room soon after that, and Lian had never mentioned it again.

Truth was. . . Lian was scared. Oh, he was so scared about it. He was terrified that one day he'd go to find Lin and his brother wouldn't be there. He was scared that he'd find Lin's dead body in the bathroom again, only this time Lin wouldn't come back.

But most of all Lian was ashamed, because his worst fear. . .

. . . his worst fear was that someday Dad wouldn't want Lin anymore. He'd want Lian.

And, God did it make him feel horrible to think that, to worry about it. But-- but he couldn't make himself do anything to help. Lian was scared of his dad, and always had been. He tried every day to do everything he thought would make Dad proud of him. He tried to never make a mistake, never talk back or cause any trouble. In his head, Lian imagined himself as a ghost-mouse whenever his father was near. Lian tried to disappear.

But he hated him. He hated his dad. Dad had done that to Lin, and he had been doing that to Lin for years! Up until a few days ago, and. . .

And Lian wanted so badly to stand up to him and say all sorts of mean and true things to him, but he couldn't. He was just so scared. Lian was just too weak; he was just a ghost-mouse.

And he did understand how Lex could have missed. . . it, could have missed what was happening to Lin. Lex was sent away from them. Lex went to some far away boarding school, and he hardly ever came home. Lian guessed it must have been nice wherever he was. He'd used to wish that he could go there and be with Lex. And Bruce. And not have to be a Luthor anymore.

But then Lin would be alone. Alone with only Dad, and that was worse than being totally alone. Dad was mean and cruel and he said nasty things to Lin all the time. Little brief words and sentences that made Lin turn white, and sometimes Lian could tell his brother was holding back tears.

Julian couldn't stand up to Da-- to Lionel, but he would be damned if he'd abandon Lin. Never. He would never forget Lin. Lian would always know how to talk to Colin. He would always remember, always.

And Lian was really happy that Lex was back, and even that Bruce had come back, too. But most of all, he was just glad that Lin was away from. . . Lionel. No more of that. Lin wouldn't have to do that anymore. Like that girl in the story, only worse cos it was real. Poor Lin. If he were here now, Lian would have hugged him, he would have! And maybe if he'd done that, shown Lin that he cared, then his big, brave, strong brother wouldn't have run away to the cemetery. If only he'd had the courage to say, "Screw the rules! Screw LIONEL and 'proper conduct!'" and had just hugged his brother, whom he loved more than anyone in the whole world. . . maybe then Lin wouldn't have used his talents like that in front of people who didn't understand, and. . . gone to their mother.

They were all still talking, loudly, and they were all still ignoring Lian. They thought he was stupid. They thought he was naive and didn't know what was going on, he'd bet. But he knew. He was smart, everyone said so. Even Lionel said so, and he never complimented anyone! And Lex said it, though he'd seemed to have temporarily forgotten that at the moment. Lex was always telling him how wonderful and amazing he was, and Lian believed he really meant it, for even though Lex was oddly forgetful at times, and had been gone a long time, he never lied to Lian. Never. If Lex said it, then it was true. When Lex said he loved you, he meant it. So, when he told Lian he was smart, Lian knew it was true. Plus, he'd already kinda figured that out. None of the kids at school had read Nietzsche. . . and liked it.

So, they weren't going to ask Lian where he thought Lin might be. Fine. He knew, and he also knew two other important facts. One, Lionel had no idea where Lin had gone, and never had, in all the years Lin had been going there, and so his brother was safe. And two, Lin would come back when he was. . . done. Lin always came back.

In a few hours, Lin would 'suddenly' be back in his room, and Lian swore that when he was, he would get a big hug and cuddle. Lian would go up there and tell him he loved him, and hug him and let him cry if he wanted to, and he would never tell a soul if that's what Lin wanted. He owed Colin that much.

***

A sense of calm understandably eluded him upon Colin's. . . disappearance. . . from the office. Soon after, Julian excused himself, and when Raisa interrupted them for dinner at seven, Lex realized two things. First, guessing when Colin would return was useless, as was his destination. By all rights, Lex, being such an exemplary brother, should have known these things already. And the second point of his epiphany that night came after all of them including Bruce had sat down for the evening meal, and Lex was able to take in Lian's expression. He'd not only managed to anger Colin so badly the kid had literally rushed off, and hours later was still gone, but he'd also somehow insulted Lian, as well. In fact, Julian seemed nearly as angry at Lex as Colin had been. Well, angry for Lian, which meant a lot more glaring and sighing, and much less looming, fist-clenching, and. . . whooshing. And Lex again had no idea as to why. It was fast becoming a theme.

No one ate very much at dinner, though Raisa's meatloaf was by far the best Lex had ever tasted. Colin's absence at his side made him feel even shittier. Bruce sat where Chance had the previous night -- God, only last night? -- and Lex swore he could feel everyone's scowls and bad moods pressing in upon him, choking and silencing him.

Bruce didn't stay long after that. The three of them helped Rick and Raisa with the cleanup, and as Lian slumped back up the stairs to his room, Bruce made Lex swear he would call the minute Colin showed up. Sure, he'd call. . . if Colin ever did come back. At that moment, Lex wouldn't have blamed his brother if the kid decided to just cut his losses and really disappear. Everything was going so wrong. But then Lex remembered Colin and Julian's mutual devotion to each other. Colin would never abandon Lian, and who knew Colin better than--

Jesus, he was an idiot! All the pieces started to fit together in some sense of order, and Lex fully realized that his mistake, as well as Bruce's and Rick's, had been one he himself had often been subjected to as a kid. People assumed that because you were young and small you were also naive and completely oblivious. If anyone should have recognized what was going on it should have been him, should have been Bruce. Lex would wager that Lian knew exactly where Colin had gone, and because no one had even attempted to ask him, little Lian retaliated by not volunteering the information. Which also meant that Colin was in no real danger. . . wherever he was. . . for Lian would put his brother's safety above his own pride, Lex was sure of it. So it was simply a matter of patience and tact. . . something that as of late seemed to have completely abandoned Lex.

He went upstairs to apologize to Lian later that night, but it was only to find him asleep in Colin's room. He was lying on his stomach with his head resting on one arm, while the other hung over the side of the bed. It seemed to be a habit of his, as Lex had found him like this just the other night in the hotel. With the dim light from the hall shining on him, and the little bit of moonlight coming in through the window, Lian looked so incredibly young and vulnerable. . . so small. He was still dressed in trousers and long-sleeved shirt, though his shoes had been kicked off at some point, and looked to have simply collapsed on top of the unmade bed. The bulky comforter gave the impression of trying to swallow the boy.

Lex gently maneuvered the wayward arm back onto the bed, and then moved the chair that sat in front of the fireplace over to the window. From here he could look out on the street below, and, hopefully, sitting here would allow Lex to look for Colin's return, as well as guard Lian's sleep. That was the plan, anyway. . .

***

. . . he was awake suddenly, and confusion as to where he was, and when it was, immediately set in. Where was-- in Colin's bedroom, and Lian would be on the--

As Lex turned his aching neck over to look at the bed, he expected to see his youngest brother still asleep on the bed. However, his heart nearly stopped when he spotted a large shadow bending over Julian's prone form.

Hey!" he shouted at the figure, as he jerkily ran over to the other side of the room to turn on the light. His left leg had fallen asleep and he was having a hard time coordinating his legs, but he had just about made it, when his ears picked up a low voice murmuring.

"It's okay, now, baby boy. Don't you even think on it, anymore. Nothing's ever going to hurt you while there's still breath in my body. I swear nothing will hurt you. You'll be just fine and happy, won't you?"

Lex finally hit the light switch, and was shocked at the sight before him. By the time he'd made out what was being said, the identity of the person saying it became obvious. It was Colin's appearance that gave Lex a cold sense of dread, however. He was drenched and covered in mud and bits of grass. Leaves stuck out of his long, tangled hair and his pants and shirt were in shreds. But as Lex slowly circled towards the foot of the bed, he felt his heart break just a little more as he finally got a good look at Colin's face. Desolation. Broken. Beaten down. His brother's expression held all those things, and yet nothing at all. It was as though Colin were here, physically in this very room. . . but he was really still gone. Still wherever he'd run to, and what was standing over Julian, hand tracing over his face in midair, was just some ghost, some facsimile of Colin Luthor. Just a small part of the whole. Broken.

"Colin," Lex said, daring to break the strange suffocating aura in the room. He inched closer to the wet boy, and as he was just raising a hand to lay down on the shoulder closest to him, Lex found himself being looked at by two sets of eyes. Only Colin's eyes had moved, his head still angled down towards Julian, while Lian was turning over into a sitting position on the bed.

"I'm tired, Lex," Colin said quietly, still looking out of the corner of his eye at Lex.

Shifting his eyes from Colin to Lian on the bed, Lex saw his youngest brother ever-so-slightly nod at him, and Lex had to agree. Colin didn't appear to be in any condition tonight to talk about anything, let alone what exactly had happened in that office this afternoon.

"Yeah," Lex said, finally resting his hand on Colin's shoulder. "We'll get you cleaned up, and then we can all get some sleep, okay?"

Colin just nodded mechanically several times, and then looked to Lian. That was strange, and if Lex had had hair on his arms, he was sure it would be standing up. Colin was looking to Lian. . . for guidance, for direction.

"Come on, Lin," Julian said. The boy scooted forward off the bed and held out a hand for Colin to take. Then he pulled him towards the door, and out into the hallway, footsteps heading to the bathroom down the hall.

Lex just stood there a moment, before realizing that Colin would need something clean to change into, and that he had a call to make.

***

After seeing that both Colin and Lian were tucked into bed -- Lex felt like a mom just thinking the words "tucked in" -- he had gone back to his own room to think and try at some more sleep. In vain.

His mind refused to settle down on one topic, and thus dreamland was a no-go. And the one thing constantly replaying in his mind was Colin's voice saying, "It's okay, now, baby boy. Don't you even think on it anymore. Nothing's ever going to hurt you while there's still breath in my body."

It was a long time until sunrise.

***

Lex's phone call to Bruce last night had been short and to the point, and his friend said to expect him back over at the Jamesons' this morning. A constant feeling of worry and impossible dread had filled Lex to the brim, as he'd forgotten to even tell either of his brothers about their plans. Well, not tell exactly, but. . . suggest? Oh, who was he kidding? Lex wanted them to leave Metropolis, just for a little while, just to get back into some sort of healthy pattern of living. . . away from Lionel. He and Bruce had both agreed that it made the most sense for all three of them to stay in Gotham. . . with Bruce and Alfred.

And Lex had forgotten to ask Julian or Colin if that was okay. He'd forgotten. And so now he'd have to tell them that they were scheduled to leave this evening, and that was somehow it. Right? God, he was such a fuck-up. A horrible brother.

Lian came down the stairs first, at around eight. And Colin followed at eight-thirty. And Lex told them his idea, and asked them if they wanted to do this, if they wanted to move in with Bruce. . . temporarily.

Lian glanced at Colin and then said, in a near-whisper, eyes on his hands, "Lex, it's okay with me." Lifting his eyes to look at Colin, he continued, "I think it might be a good thing, too."

Lex felt his breath leave him in a great sigh of relief, and then he, too, looked at Colin. He and Lian were sitting on two stools in front of the kitchen island, while Lex stood leaning forward across from them, bracing himself on his elbows. During the time they'd been in here, Colin had yet to look up once. Now, as his head rose, Lex unconsciously stood up and waited for. . . something. But Colin never met his gaze. Instead, those big green, empty eyes drifted up over Lex's head and along the wall behind him. With his lips parted and eyes unfocused, Colin looked hazy and disconnected, as he had since his return to the house in the middle of last night. Truthfully, it was beginning to scare Lex.

"Colin?" Lian asked, laying a hand over his arm, and ducking his head in an attempt to get Colin's attention. "Is that all right with you? I'm sure we don't have to go if you don't want to. . . " he trailed off, uncertainly.

Eyes still moving back and forth over the distance behind them, Colin's quiet "Okay" was very nearly lost in the sudden sound of the doorbell and commotion at the front door. Bruce had arrived, no doubt, and just in time, too. Lex was in over his head, and, as he met Lian's eyes, he got the unsettling feeling that so was he. Which was understandable -- he was eight-years-old, for Chissake! -- except for the fact that Julian also seemed at a loss as to what was going on in Colin's head. And who knew Colin better than Lian?

As Bruce came into the room, followed by a frazzled-looking Raisa, Lex was struck with the thought that if neither he nor Julian could get through to Colin now, surely Bruce could. And if not Bruce, Lex thought, inwardly smiling a little, Alfred would get to the bottom of things and still have time to personally polish all the Wayne ancestral silver in that dreary mansion before dinner.

Maybe there was some hope, but looking over at Colin again -- vacant and so. . . thin Lex wasn't going to count on it. He'd just make backup plans, and. . . wait.

***

From Bruce's expression, Lex could tell he hadn't expected them to go back to Gotham with him. Typical Bruce, Lex thought. While he, himself, was definitely a pessimist and cynic, Bruce put him to shame with his own brand of maudlin acceptance and hopelessness. And Lex knew why Bruce was like that, but it didn't make it any easier to get the man to open up.

The problem with him having a relationship with another guy was, Lex had found through experience, that both he and said guy had problems expressing their emotions and the fear of commitment was strongly present on both sides, as well. Basically, a relationship with one guy and one girl had a difficult enough time progressing and being sustained, all on its own. Replace the girl with another man, equally as neurotic and emotionally crippled as the other, and you had a recipe for painful heartbreak. Lex had also learned that through personal experience.

So Bruce was unsure. Well, that was to be expected, as Lex was, too. In fact, he'd be more worried if Bruce had been absolutely certain as to how to proceed. None of them were fully equipped to do this, but that just meant they had to try harder. Lex had to try harder. No more giving up, Luthor, he thought to himself. You're gonna do this, and you're going to get them out of his city, and then you and Bruce, and Alfred, are just-- just all gonna sit down and figure out what to do next.

Bruce had arranged for the Wayne Enterprises private jet to be at Metropolis Airport, hangar 14, at three o'clock this afternoon. Originally, he'd sent it back to Gotham, thinking he'd be here for a longer stay. Now he was having Alfred fly in it here to Metropolis, and then all five of them would return to Gotham, and the Wayne estate.

Currently, it was two minutes past noon, and Lex and Lian were trying to get Colin's things packed. . . again. This was the third time Lex had packed all his bags in the last week, and the second for Julian and Colin. Lex had gone straight for Colin's clothes, since he knew that was just folding and nothing too personal. He left the sketch books to Lian. So much for trying harder, eh, Luthor? he chastised himself. Give the eight-year-old the hard task. What a schmuck.

"Hey, Lin," Lian was saying. "Do you want to pack your drawings in the suitcase, or take them with you into the compartment?" Julian was standing next to the bed where Colin sat. The four sketch books, all that remained from a once huge stack (Lex would guess about 20), on the comforter in front of him.

"Lin?" Lian asked again, and Lex turned away to face the drawers. Stuffing the socks and shirts into the bag, he next resisted the urge to smack his head upon the dresser. He'd forgotten to buy Colin underwear. After he'd packed for him last time, he had sworn to buy the kid some the very next day. But. But Bruce had come back that next day, and then they'd met at the restaurant the day after that, and--

And Lex had just forgotten underwear for Colin in all the commotion and planning. His next thought made him want to stab himself for being just as bad as Lionel. "Though he's probably used to going without," is what he thought. Lex's hands shook as he reached out for the next stack of shirts.

"Colin, what do you want me to do?" Lian's pleading voice brought Lex back to the situation behind him. Turning around, he saw Julian had moved to the other side of the bed in an attempt to get Colin to look at him.

But like he'd been doing ever since the night before, Colin's eyes simply refused to focus on anyone or anything. Instead, the boy's head would slowly move back and forth, and his eyes traced patterns across the walls and windows of the house. Not even Lian could get him to focus, and Lex knew deep down they were in trouble. They just had to get to Gotham and everything would be better. Once they got to Bruce's, they'd figure out what to do. Alfred would know. They'd work it out, and get Colin a doctor, and then--

And then they'd take them away. Lex was kidnapping two minors. . . across the country. He was going to-- God, what were they going to do?

But-- but Jameson was working on that, right? He'd said something last night, before Lex had come up to try and apologize to Lian. Rick had said that he knew a judge and that he had friends in Gotham, and. . . Lex couldn't quite remember and he was currently having a panic attack. Telling himself to breathe deeply and calm down, Lex looked back over to Lian.

"Colin, please? Please, say something." Julian was near tears and holding Colin's hands in his grasp, as he knelt on the floor in front of him. "I don't know what you want if you don't tell me. Are you okay? Why won't you say anything?" As Lian looked down at his hands wrapped around Colin's, he quietly said, so quietly Lex almost missed it, "Why won't you tell me?"

A knock on the doorframe made Lex flinch and he quickly turned towards the door. Bruce stood there, wearing his closed-off expression, which meant he was freaked out and worried, most likely. Most of the time, when Bruce looked cold and aloof, he was really just unsure and out of place. At least, that's what Lex had gathered, through personal experience again. Who really knew? He doubted even Bruce knew what Bruce actually felt half the time.

"Need any help?" Bruce asked, quietly, still standing out in the hall. Lex waved him in.

"We're just about done." Turning to Lian, Lex said, "Julian," and when the boy looked up, he continued, "I've got a bag we can put those in." He indicated the books. "We'll take them onboard with us, and that way if you want them, Colin, you can have them. All right?" Julian nodded, and Lex could tell his little brother was trying to put on a brave face. Unfortunately, it came across as more of a fearful grimace, but Lex didn't have the heart to say anything.

Turning back to Bruce, he held out the big duffle full of Colin's clothes for him to take. He got a raised eyebrow in response, but the bag was nonetheless gently taken from Lex's arms and hefted onto the other man's shoulder. Going to the closet for Colin's coat, he was again startled when a hand came to rest on the small of his back, and he felt air on his ear from Bruce's breath as he whispered a quick, "Look," nudging Lex to turn around again.

Colin was holding a box out to Lian. . . with a certain reverence one only saw with religious relics and sacred objects.

"This goes in the bag, too," was all Colin said before looking back out the window. His eyes still faraway, Colin said, "You should take a look in it, Lian. I made sure I kept everything important."

And then for the first time since yesterday in Jameson's office, Colin turned his head and looked directly into Lex's eyes as he continued, "You should see it, too, Lex. I made sure he didn't throw any of the important things away. I kept her important things." And then he withdrew from the edge of the bed back towards the middle, pulling his legs up and curling his arms around them. Colin laid his head down on his knees, and simply closed his eyes, as Lex, Lian and Bruce stared dumbfounded.

What scared him the most was that while Colin's eyes had been on him, Lex had still found nothing. . . there. They were empty green glass, and the kid's expression had revealed nothing, as well. Which, thinking on it, didn't necessarily mean anything. After all, hadn't he just been thinking not ten minutes earlier about Bruce's own expressionless mask? But those eyes. . .

Lex looked at Lian across the room, and saw the uncertainty warring with curiosity in his face. Laying Colin's coat on the dresser, Lex walked across the room and sat in the chair next to the window, right where he'd left it from the night before. And as Lian scooted back towards him, Lex looked up and met Bruce's eyes. Colin hadn't said it was okay for Bruce to look, and Lex didn't honestly feel like sharing whatever was within the box with him. It made him feel bad because he knew how much it would mean to Bruce, but. . . he needed this for just them, at first. Later-- later, he would ask Colin, and then maybe the three Luthors and Bruce and Alfred could one night sit together and just. . . share memories. Maybe that would help all of them. And Bruce could know that he was loved and cherished, and Colin would see that so was he. That's what they'd do, Lex promised. He didn't know whom he promised, but he suddenly felt like crying and found a picture of his mother came to mind. As she'd been when he was little. All bright skin and a halo of fiery hair surrounding her, like she carried the sun with her wherever she went. Grinning and tickling him and God! laughing loudly, and so very, very strong and healthy.

When Lex looked back towards where Bruce was, he found the other man had left.

***

Lex insisted Lian do the honors of opening the wooden box, and glanced over at Colin on the bed, all huddled into himself. Remembering his pledge to himself to start trying harder, Lex thought of what they should do.

He stood up, offering a hand down to Lian. When his brother at first just stared at the outstretched hand, and then him, as if he were crazy, Lex smiled and nodded his head towards the bed. Lian followed his lead, and looked over. Turning back to Lex, he stuck his hand out and Lex gripped it, pulling him to his feet.

Lex went to the bed first, and resolutely sat down not too far from Colin. He felt Lian sit down, too, and took the plunge.

"Won't you look at it with us, Lin?" Lex asked, quietly, the nickname just rolling off his tongue as naturally as his own.

And Lex praised a god he didn't believe even existed when Colin opened his eyes and met his own. Colin lifted his head up and nodded, and Lex felt blessed, as though he'd been granted absolution.

***

Inside that wooden box were what Colin had dubbed "keepsakes."

Inside that box were three small locks of curly hair, each bound in a blue ribbon. One red, one black, and one brown.

There were many photographs in the box, too. Some with a young Lillian and Lionel, embracing and smiling -- one with them facing the camera, she on his back and wearing a ridiculously large sunhat, and he clean shaven and. . . smiling.

Some of the pictures were of Lex. . . with hair. At the first one -- where Lex had been photographed in his school uniform, scowl firmly affixed to his small face -- Lian gave an abrupt snort of laughter before quickly looking up at Lex, worriedly. Patting him on the back, Lex couldn't resist chuckling, either. Soon all of them were laughing. Well, he and Lian laughed, while Colin smiled and hid his face, shoulders shaking in suppressed laughter.

There were a few photos of a young and extremely pale Colin, and two of an 11-year-old Lex with his arm around his new younger brother, both of them in suits.

And there was one photograph that nearly made Lex break down. It was quite simple, really, just a picture of a newborn baby, like a thousand others across the globe. A sleeping baby, with wisps of dark hair and pearly white skin. But on the back was written, "Dear Julian -- December 17, '92," in that familiar loopy handwriting of their mother's. And Lex thought of how she must have written that knowing she'd never see Julian any older than that of a newborn baby. They all looked at that picture for a very long time, and when Lian went to put it back in the pile, Colin's arm darted out and stopped him. He pushed the photo back into Lian's hand and closed his fingers around it, saying, "She would have wanted you to have that, Julian."

Inside that wooden box was a lock of each of their hair, and photos showing their past. And there were 37 Warrior Angel comics, each encased in a slim plastic sheath, with a cardboard support. Colin's first Christmas present from Lex.

***

Alfred arrived at the Jameson house around three forty-five that afternoon. By then, Lex, Lian and. . . Lin. . . had all finished packing and were being stuffed with food by Raisa. Her going away present, she said.

"You boys are all so skinny! Look at this one!" she had exclaimed, stepping behind Lin and lightly shaking his shoulders. "Skin and bones, that's all you Luthor boys are. You need someone to force-feed you, don't you?" She had then drifted back into the kitchen proper, muttering and grumbling under her breath. Lex had a hard time containing his grin.

When the doorbell rang some thirty minutes later, for the second time that day, Bruce, who had been quietly putting away his own plateful of Raisa-approved food, quickly excused himself, long legs striding across the room and out the doorway. A few minutes later, he returned with Alfred Pennyworth behind him. Bruce introduced him to Raisa and then sat back in his seat, picking up his fork and resuming his gentlemanly devouring. Gesturing Alfred to a seat, Raisa set a bowl of white soup in front of him, much to Alfred's surprise.

"You don't want that stuff," she said with a wave of her hand towards Bruce's plate. "Too heavy. But this will fill you up nicely, yes? For all of us people who are not young skeletons." Much like the rest of them, Alfred wisely decided that this was not a battle he would win, and slowly began spooning up the chicken and beans in broth that Raisa for some reason called "chili."

"So, everything's set, Alfred?" Bruce asked. He'd cleared his plate faster than all the rest of them, and Lex wondered how often he ate, if he'd been that hungry. If he hadn't changed that much, then Bruce probably went for as long as he could without eating or sleeping, just like he had when they were in school together. And Bruce was thinner now than he'd been back at Princeton. Toned, yes, but slimmer, like his body had been worn and worked down to just the bare essentials. Where Lex and his brothers were just plain skinny, Bruce was lean and wiry. And trained.

"Oh, yes, Master Bruce," Alfred answered, spoon halfway to his mouth. "I believe you will be well pleased with the arrangements."

"Arrangements?" Lex asked warily. Bruce scheming and planning was as natural as him breathing, and Lex had learned that the hard way over the years. "What have you got up your sleeve, Wayne?" he said, narrowing his eyes and adopting a suspicious scowl.

Following their little tradition, Bruce turned to Lex with big innocent eyes and shrugged. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Lex. I don't believe I have ever done anything like what you are hinting at."

"Mmmm, I bet."

Bruce was sitting at one end of the table, Lex at the other. Lian was to Lex's right and Colin sat hunched into himself at Bruce's left. Alfred had taken the chair on Bruce's other side, and so was directly across from Colin. As the conversation slowed, Lian looked over at Alfred and said quietly, "My name is Julian Luthor, sir. It's very kind of you to let us stay." Lex and Bruce had both forgotten to introduce Alfred to Lian and Colin, and Julian, being ever observant of manners and propriety, had decided to take the lead. God, Lex loved that kid.

Alfred, laying his spoon down in his bowl, looked at Lian and bowed his head, smile crinkling his eyes. "I am Alfred Pennyworth, Master Julian, and it is my pleasure to meet you, young sir. Any friend of Master Bruce is always welcome at the house. I daresay, it's not seen much company for quite some time, not since master Lex stayed back in their schooldays. It will be wonderful to have all of you." He smiled broadly, and looked over to Bruce, who was casually sitting back in his chair, hands clasped together in front of his face. He'd adopted his mask again, and Lex had a guess as to why.

When Alfred said that Wayne manor had not seen many guests in a long while, what he meant was that hardly anyone had come there since the deaths of Thomas and Martha Wayne. And so he guessed that, like Lex himself did whenever someone mentioned his mother, Bruce had to be remembering those times when he was young, and the house had been full of people. The Waynes had been social butterflies, always around and involved, and many parties must have been held at their estate.

And Bruce had been so young when they'd died. It must seem like a whole other life to him now. Lillian had died when Lex was 13, and his time with her still felt like something out of a dream. . . or, towards the end, a nightmare. He couldn't imagine what Bruce must feel, and his love for the man surged up powerful and overwhelming. Bruce Wayne was amazing and so incredibly strong.

"This is my brother Lin. I mean, Colin. But we all call him Lin. Just like Lex is Lex, not Alexander." Lex was drawn from his thoughts on Bruce by Lian's voice, and looked up to see Bruce staring at him from across the table. Lex smiled at him, and received a quirk of the lips in return: Bruce's own version of a smile. Sliding his eyes over to Colin, Lex was disturbed by his brother's withdrawal back into silence and avoidance. He'd hoped that after their opening of Lin's keepsake box, that perhaps the kid would talk more, or something. But during the whole meal, Lin had kept his head down and his mouth closed -- literally. Looking at Lin's plate, Lex saw it was still three quarters full, and he was just pushing the food around and around. The kid was skinnier than all of them, and the circles under his eyes were still so dark. Lin looked terrible, and Lex was really worried. He didn't know what would help Colin. Would talking to him about. . . things. . . help, or make him even worse? Dare he try, and risk causing Lin to truly go off the rails?

All of the questions were slowly driving Lex insane. It was against his very nature to ignore something, to not ask why? But, for Colin he was doing this. For Lin, and Lian. His own curiosity would just have to wait, he told himself.

***

The five of them boarded Bruce's "company" jet at approximately five o'clock. It took off for Gotham at a quarter after five, and they were in the air five minutes later.

And out of Metropolis, away from Lionel and the Centre.

The seats in the jet faced each other in a small cluster, so that the five of them were able to look at each other without having to turn around. Lex sat next to Bruce. He'd immediately taken the seat closer to the middle, and Bruce had simply smirked and comfortably lowered himself into the one next to the window, well aware of Lex's fear of heights. Meanwhile, Lian took the seat across from Bruce at another window, with Colin sitting next to him. Alfred's seat was in between Colin and Lex.

And now Colin was sleeping. Almost the minute they'd passed over state lines, Lin had dropped off to sleep.

The flight from Metropolis to Gotham would take about three hours, and Lin fell asleep about thirty minutes in.

An hour after takeoff, Lex looked over to Colin and saw his mouth moving, as if he were talking in his sleep. Worried, but not overly so, Lex went back to discussing politics with Bruce.

Halfway through the flight, Colin screamed in his sleep.

It came out of nowhere, and scared the bejesus out of everyone, including the pilots, who called back to make sure everything was all right. Alfred got up to go and talk to them, while Lian tried to shake Lin awake. Much like two nights ago, Lin remained unconscious, and tears again began falling from his tightly closed eyes. He only screamed the once, not long, but loud and terrified. He started shaking and moving his head back and forth, though, mumbling under his breath. As Lex unbuckled his seatbelt and crouched by Lin's side, he was able to pick up some of what his brother was saying.

"Please, no-- won't do it anymore, Daddy, I swear. Please, no, no-- won't do it again. . . "

Over and over, Lin whimpered and pleaded to his dream-Lionel, and the hatred and anger and fear rose up in Lex. Look at what you've done, Dad, he thought.

"Look, Lex. Look at me. Look at what I am now, and remember. You remember that little boy I was, and you just imagine what he did to him."

Colin had said that. And now Lex was imagining it, and he was. . . so scared. How did anyone make something like this better? How could this have happened? And, Jesus, now Bruce and Alfred really knew the extent of things, Lex thought as he looked back at Bruce. Alfred was just returning from the cockpit, and the older man's face was horrified and sad.

Leaning closer to Lin, Lex began whispering to him. Calm and reassuring things that Lex didn't really feel, but tried his damnedest to make convincing. This had worked last time, right? But Lin wasn't waking up. He was still shaking and crying big tears that seemed more of a reflex than part of an emotion.

Finally, he laid his left hand on top of Lin's hair and Lex leaned his forehead against his brother's. "It'll be okay, Lin. I swear. I swear I'll make it better. Remember when you were little and afraid of storms? And I told you it was nothing to be afraid of, and we watched how the lightning made arcs of energy across the sky. You drew them the next day, and you said you thought lightning was just," Lex choked back a sob. "You said it was just misunderstood." A sad, tear-soaked laugh came out of him, and Lex could, even now, picture how earnest and sincere Lin had been that day, all big, warm eyes and happy smile. Lex brought his right arm up and slid it around Lin's shoulders, praying that he'd get to see that boy again. God, Lin, I'm so sorry, he thought. . . or maybe he said it aloud because suddenly there was a hand on his waist, and the words, "It's not your fault, Lex," were whispered in his ear.

He quickly leaned back, and, yes, Lin was awake and looking back at him. And those eyes. . . Lex had just recalled Lin's warm, joyful eyes as a child, and was again confronted with the dead green ones in front of him now. These eyes were haunted and resigned, and so full of pain it made Lex ache and hurt, himself.

"God, Lin, you scared us!" Julian said breathlessly from behind him.

Lin stiffened and his hand dropped from Lex's waist as he turned his head away. The movement caused Lex's hand to slide from his hair. "Sorry," he whispered.

The stiffness didn't leave him, and Lex decided Lin didn't want him touching him anymore. So he withdrew his arm from around Lin's shoulders and moved back to his seat, keeping an eye on Lin the whole time.

Gradually, they all settled down a bit, but the tension was still there. The four of them kept looking at Lin, and Lin kept his head down and himself hunched over. Lex had no doubt that if he could, Colin would bring his feet up onto the seat and turn himself into a human ball. But the seats were too small for that.

They barely spoke the rest of the flight.

***

When they landed, Bruce and Alfred led the way off the plane. Lex and Lian waited for Lin and walked on either side of him, and over to the car waiting for them. Alfred drove them to the mansion, and upon sight of the massive house, Lex breathed a deep sigh of relief. They'd gotten here. Whatever else was happening, or had happened, they were here, with Bruce and Alfred. They were in Gotham and not as easily within Lionel's power as they had been in Metropolis.

The situation was horrible, and terrifying, but Lex was thankful.

At least they weren't in Lionel's house, anymore. At least they weren't in his city anymore, either. Lex would have to remember that whenever he looked over at Lin and thought of that little boy he'd used to be.

***

Interlude

When they finally arrived at the manor, he helped carry in the luggage while Alfred went to arrange a late dinner, which of course none of them would eat. Alfred enjoyed doing stuff like that, though. Surely with Julian and Lex here now, he would have the opportunity to feed someone up properly, for Bruce was certainly no big eater. And Colin, well. . . so far, Bruce hadn't seen Colin eat anything, so that was going to take some work on Alfred's part. But he had every confidence in the man's abilities. Alfred never failed to nag in such a way that you felt extremely guilty for not doing what he had, early on, suggested ever-so-politely. Bruce was endlessly amazed that no matter how hard he tried to resist Alfred's tricks and subtle manipulations, he couldn't. Ever. The old man was truly devious and completely played up the kindly grandfather persona. At least, Bruce knew that. Most people liked Alfred, but that was just because they hadn't been forced to be nagged by him since birth. Twenty years of Alfred-nagging and all those supporters and fans of the man would recognize the validity of Bruce's claims. . .

Bruce was startled out of his anti-Alfred thoughts by a distinctly amused-sounding cough to his left. When he cocked his head over, he saw Lex smirking at him with a raised eyebrow. Damned smug bastard, Bruce thought, ruefully.

"What are you looking so pleased about, Luthor?" he growled. But instead of quaking in fear, Lex's smirk grew into a toothy smile.

"You are so transparent, Wayne," he replied. "I love Alfred." As they reached the stairs, he and Lex in front, Lex leaned in close and whispered in his ear, "If only he were forty years younger and queer, who knows?" Then he moved ahead and started taking the steps by twos, head turned back to show off his evil grin.

See if Bruce was going to share his room with him after that comment.

Sighing to himself, he accepted the fact that, yes, most likely he would end up sharing his room with Lex. Somehow he just wormed his way into everything. Looking up, he watched as Lex tripped on one of the rugs at the top of the stairs, stumbling gracelessly. Bruce made sure to laugh loudly and was rewarded with that feline death-glare he loved so much. Christ, how he'd missed that look when he was training. No Lex. No Alfred nagging at him. No hot water or decent food. Bruce was lucky to have even made it out alive, and thinking of all the things that wouldn't be if he weren't here in this city right now. . . terrified him. What if he'd never gotten out of that prison?

Where would Lex and his brothers be?

Where would Colin be?

He stole a glance behind him as he turned the corner, searching out Colin, and was again startled at how much he'd changed since Bruce had last seen him.

Both Colin and Julian had accompanied Lionel to Lex's graduation from the Academy a few years back, and Bruce had been seated at their table for the reception dinner. Now that had been awkward.

Lex had insisted on sitting next to Bruce, with Julian on his other side, and Colin had immediately taken the other seat next to Bruce. Kyler Hanson and his parents had already been seated, so the only spot left for Lionel had been between Mrs. Hanson and Julian. And he hadn't looked pleased.

Through the whole dinner, Lionel had chatted with the Hansons while Bruce, Lex, and Kyler told tales of their schooldays to Julian.

Colin didn't say one word the entire time Bruce was there that day. But he did eat, a lot in fact. Bruce remembered how surprising he'd found that, that Colin cleared everything on his plate. But then he'd looked over and found Lionel's plate completely empty as well, and something had clicked in his mind. Colin had timed his eating to match Lionel's, and that was disturbing. Not in a traditional sense, of course. It was often the custom at certain high-class functions to follow the host's example and pace, when eating. But that Colin had done it here, where Lionel wasn't calling the shots, spoke of habit and of it being ingrained in him to follow Lionel's lead no matter the circumstance. And the next leap in logic was to question in what other areas Colin. . . imitated. . . his "father." Something was rotten in the state of Luthor, and Bruce had a suspicion about what it was.

Bruce had avoided looking at Lionel for the rest of the day.

***

Later that same year, when Bruce and Lex were together at Princeton, Lionel would periodically stop by the apartment unannounced. He'd stay just long enough to make both of them completely uncomfortable and then abruptly stride out. Afterward, while Lex immersed himself in his studies as a way of coping with all the criticism and derogatory comments, Bruce would resume his seat at the window. It overlooked a small garden their downstairs neighbor kept up, and always his thoughts drifted from things back in Gotham, to Lex and his family, and then finally he would come to. . . Colin.

Bruce remembered that time in his life extremely clearly. He'd been floundering in college, constantly looking on as Lex flourished and excelled and passed him by. Alfred had sent him the information about. . . Chill's hearing. . . and all Bruce could see was his mother's necklace breaking and scattering across the concrete. Every sound was the whisper of his father's last breath.

In those days, all Bruce felt was pain and shame. . . and that naturally led him to think of Colin.

Bruce couldn't remember what day it was exactly when Julian called the apartment, frantically crying for Lex. And later when Lex had told him what had made Julian so upset, Bruce recalled feeling a strange kinship with Colin, almost as strong as the one he had with Lex.

How many times had Bruce thought of just. . . ending it all? The Last Wayne: it had a nice ring to it.

But he never did. Never even attempted it. But Colin had, and had very nearly succeeded too, from the sound of it. Christ, 12 years old, and something had driven him to suicide. Bruce knew what. He did. He couldn't fool himself, even if he was apparently fooling Lex. It was just another mark on his cowardly and weak soul that he said nothing. He was already going to Hell, had been doomed for almost ten years now. When he got there, he'd just make sure Lionel was burning too.

***

Lex went straight to the room he'd used all those years ago before, when he'd stayed here on break. Julian picked the guestroom next to Lex's, and Bruce dumped off the boy's suitcase before following Colin into the one directly across the hall. Colin walked over to the bed and stopped, then just stood there staring at the blue coverlet. Bruce wondered if he should say something.

"What's going to happen tomorrow?" Colin asked quietly, eyes never leaving the bed.

"Alfred's set up a tutor for you and Julian. Then in the afternoon, a friend of mine, a lawyer by the name of Nicholas Fallin, will come over and help. His father is an old buddy of Rick Jameson's, so that's another mark in his favor." Bruce finally just set Colin's bag on a chair and then went back to lingering in the doorway. Colin still hadn't moved. "Nick's a good guy. Young, too, for the position he holds at the firm, but he's pretty decent. For a lawyer." The joke fell flat, and Bruce wasn't surprised.

"Lin?" a voice called. And just a second later, Julian pushed by Bruce and walked slowly over to stand beside Colin. He gently laid a hand on Colin's arm, and even in the darkness of the room Bruce could make out the concern written on Julian's face. Feeling like an intruder, Bruce quietly withdrew and went in search of Lex.

"Hey," he said, as he entered 'Lex's room.' He'd made sure that Alfred knew not to change anything in here and was glad to see that, with Lex in it again, it brought back memories of last time.

Lex looked up from his unpacking, and smiled briefly.

"It looks exactly the same! I had expected it to be a different color or something, but. . ." Lex trailed off, and suddenly just threw the shirts he'd been holding across the room. Bringing his hands up to grip his head, Lex sighed heavily. "God, Bruce, everything's such a mess." Lex dropped his arms and spun around to sit heavily on the bed. He looked over at Bruce with a pleading expression, and Bruce knew Lex had no idea how wrecked he looked.

Approaching the bed, Bruce said, "Yes, it is a mess." At which point, Lex snorted and lowered his head into his hands. Bruce reached forward and pulled on one of Lex's wrists, causing him to look up. "But you're not alone. You know you're not. And now, neither is Colin. Lex," he said as his hand slithered its way from Lex's wrist up to cup his jaw, "we will make it better. Together we can do anything, right?" Bending his head in order to catch Lex's eyes, Bruce repeated, "Right? Remember when you said that to me? It's still true. And Jameson and Nick are no slouches, either." Lex gave a tear-soaked chuckle at that, and Bruce watched as twin tears coursed down his cheeks, the left falling off his chin, while the one on the right encountered Bruce's hand.

"Yeah, Nicholas Fallin, huh?" Lex gave a sniffle and went to wipe his nose with the back of his left hand, a move Bruce found too endearing for words. "Whoever thought he'd become respectable?"

"Oh, he's still a black sheep, don't worry. Make sure to ask him how he got all that experience with representing children. He'll love you for that." Bruce reached down, and with both hands gripping Lex's arms, pulled him to his feet. There was hardly any space between them, as Bruce hadn't moved back to make room for Lex to stand. He'd done it deliberately.

They were practically hugging each other, and Bruce found himself reluctant to go downstairs, or to go anywhere, in. He wanted to stay here with Lex and forget the world existed, forget about everything but them and how they'd always made things work.

But he couldn't. He couldn't abandon anything anymore. . . Neither of them could. Colin and Julian needed Lex so desperately now. And they needed Bruce, too.

And in the distance, Bruce thought he could hear Gotham itself cry out in agony.

In the distance, the sound of bats drew closer and closer each day.

Soon, he'd have to step up and give the city its justice. First, though, first he had to save those dearest to him, and send Lionel Luthor to Hell.

***

Lex slept with Bruce that night. They didn't even have sex, just lay together on the bed all night long. Sometime after two, Lex drifted off but he knew better than to assume Bruce had gotten any sleep. Lex was a restless sleeper, always had been. He'd start out lying on his back, but soon end up on his right side, then his left. And in the mornings, he always woke up on his stomach with his legs tangled in the sheets and his arms spread wide, as though he were reaching for something in his sleep. Bruce, however, consistently remained on his back the whole night through. And so when they had previously shared a bed, Lex would wake up lying half on Bruce's chest, his arms wrapped around the other man, and Bruce's right hand on Lex's lower back.

Today, though, Lex woke up in Bruce's bed alone. Raising himself to his elbows, he looked behind him when he heard a jingling, tinkling sound. Bruce was finishing dressing, and as he buckled his belt, leaned down to kiss Lex on the lips.

"Hey," was all he said, his voice low and rough. Lex flipped over onto his back and raised his arms above his head in a well-timed stretch. He didn't miss Bruce unconsciously licking his lips as he watched, and Lex brought his hands back down to lie on his chest.

"Hey, yourself. You always get up so early," he complained. "It's a horrible trait in an irresponsible billionaire, you know. Makes you look interested in something." Raising his eyebrows in mock chiding, Lex glanced over at the clock on the other side of the bed. 7 o'clock. In the morning. Christ.

"I'm going to go and make sure everything's set up for the tutoring session," Bruce said. His expression turned rueful as he said, "Though no doubt Alfred's taken over it all." He looked fondly at Lex. "I can't leave anything lying around without him butting in."

"Oh, you're such a faker," Lex replied, chuckling. "You love every minute of his interference." He sniffed in disdain. "You know you can't fool me. I've known you too long."

Bruce's gaze turned thoughtful as he reached down to lightly touch Lex's cheek. "That you have. Whenever you're ready, a feast will no doubt be waiting for you."

And with that, he was striding across the bedroom and out the door, closing it softly behind himself. Lex sighed and looked around before forcing himself to get out of bed. Today, no matter how wonderful it started out, would not be pleasant. Today, Nick Fallin was coming over and all the details regarding Lex's temporary guardianship of Lin and Lian would be hashed out. And then they would discuss how things would proceed from here.

Lex trekked into the master bath and showered. As he got dressed afterward, he guiltily wondered how Lin's night had gone. Probably another sleepless one, and he should make Lin and Bruce stay up together. Maybe it'd help them both somehow.

He descended the stairs and took a left into the kitchen. Upon entering, Lex saw Bruce and Alfred standing near the refrigerator talking in low tones. Julian and Lin were seated at the small table off to the side, Julian eating a bowl of sugar and Lin drawing something intently. Lex was just happy to see Colin back to drawing. It was something he'd done for almost as long as Lex had known him, and he didn't want to think on what it had meant for Lin to destroy all those drawings of his back at the house. All those brilliant pieces of art. It made Lex feel incredibly sad. And worried.

He walked over to the table and took a seat, pouring himself a cup of coffee from the carafe in the middle. Curling his hands around the heat of it, Lex tried to sneak a peek at what Lin was drawing, but couldn't make out anything other than dark concentrated lines and heavy shading. He looked up and saw Lian smiling at him.

"It's this house," Lian said with nod of his head towards Colin's sketch. "It's so big! I can understand why Lin's so interested in it. Especially appropriate for where it is, right, Lex?"

Lex laughed and nodded as he took a sip of his drink. "Sure is. Gothic style manor just outside of Gotham? I don't think it gets any more appropriate than that." He paused, then said, "In architecture." And got the expected giggle from Lian. God, the kid was easy to make laugh.

But Lex found himself chuckling, too, as he glanced over at Bruce and Alfred again. Evidently the two of them had finished whatever discussion they'd been having, for Alfred moved away and started rounding up various empty dishes and plates and placing them on the counter to be washed. Bruce remained leaning against the fridge, his eyes on the glass of orange juice in his hands. Suddenly he looked up, and made eye contact with Lex across the room. From the expression on Bruce's face, Lex knew that what they had been discussing hadn't been anything good.

A plate being set down in front of him took Lex by surprise and he looked behind him to see Alfred smiling and gesturing for him to eat. Crepes and toast. Lex chuckled and returned the old man's smile with a nod. The last time he'd stayed here, Lex had been amazed at Alfred's cooking skills, and every breakfast asked for crepes. Evidently it hadn't been forgotten.

Bruce walked over to the table and sat down beside Lex, his glass of juice still full. Lex noticed Alfred didn't attempt to get Bruce to eat anything, and thought it just as well. Whatever food was placed in front of Bruce that Bruce didn't want would inevitably receive a blank expression and go to waste. The man was incredibly stubborn.

"This is an amazing house, Bruce," Lian said. "I think I'll have to stick to the front rooms, though, and not go exploring. I'd get lost for sure!"

Lex coughed into his coffee and hastily avoided Bruce's knowing eyes.

"Well, you'd do no worse than Lex here," Bruce-the-ever-annoying said lightly. "I'd wager that he got lost within the first hour of stepping through the front doors. It took us about half an hour to find him." He leaned forward towards Lian, setting his glass on the table and adopting a wistful tone. "He was over in the northeast wing, on the fourth floor. In the hallway. Turning around and looking soooo confused." Bruce gave Lex an affectionate look, and Lex wanted to smother him in his sleep. . . if the man ever slept!

Lian laughed and Bruce smirked, and damned if Lex didn't feel the corners of his mouth turning up, too. "Well, it's a big damn house! And don't tell me Alfred never had to hunt you down when you were a kid. I bet you got lost once or twice, too." And Bruce's smirk remained just as annoying as ever.

"Actually," came Alfred's voice, "I do believe Master Bruce most often found himself gone astray in the gardens. Several times I recall having been part of a search party for him."

Lex and Lian laughed, and he swore he heard Bruce literally huff. Alfred gave a brief smile, but before he could turn away, Lin's quiet voice caught their attentions.

"There are a lot of bats here, aren't there?" Lin asked, continuing to work on his drawing. Confused, Lex looked over to Bruce and then Alfred.

"Yes, I do believe there are, Master Colin," Alfred replied soberly. "They were here long before I was, and I quite think they shall stay even after I am gone."

Both Alfred and Bruce looked uneasy, and Lex wasn't sure why. Bats? How would--

"How did you know there were bats, Lin?" Lex asked his brother's lowered head. Lin still hadn't looked up, and his hair had fallen in front of his face in such a way that it was hard to make anything out.

"There was one in my room last night. I opened the window and he went back out into the night." He looked up at Bruce and asked, "Was that the right thing to do? I'd never seen one before." Lin again lowered his head, but twisted and tucked his hair behind his neck as he did so. "They're quite strange looking, aren't they, Bruce?"

And then Lin went back to drawing, as if he hadn't said anything at all, leaving all of them stunned and most of them confused. Well, Lex was confused and he guessed Lian was, as well. Bruce had his calm and cool mask on and Alfred looked worried and a touch. . . angry. Lex blinked and looked again, and the trace of anger was gone as if he'd only imagined it.

"Yes, I suppose they are." Bruce's voice sounded thoughtful, and Lex made a mental note to later ask what that had been about.

The four of them spent a while longer eating, relaxing and drawing around the table, Alfred leaving the room and then returning a few minutes later. When he did, he came over to the table and leaned down to quietly tell Bruce something. Bruce nodded and looked over at Lian and Colin.

"I've arranged a tutor for you two. Just temporarily, but she's just now arrived." Bruce stood and appeared to be waiting for Julian and Lin to follow him. Lex felt he should meet this Bruce-approved tutor, and got to his feet. Bruce merely gave him a glance before turning back to look at Lin. Julian had pushed his chair back, but remained sitting as he watched Colin lean in close and make a slight move of his hand. Watching Lian's face, Lex saw him frown and wondered what it was exactly that Lin was doing. They didn't have to wait long, for no sooner had Lex thought this than Lin twirled his pencil deftly into the spiral of the sketch pad, and stood up. Julian rushed to his feet next, as Bruce turned around to head out of the kitchen. And the three of them followed him like little ducklings through the enormous house.

Bruce had set them up to study in the library, and Lex was at first struck dumb by how bright it was inside. It was surely the brightest room in the whole gloomy manor, and he felt a sense of approval that his brothers would be learning in such an environment. Better than a typical classroom and far more appropriate. He caught sight of someone out of the corner of his eye and turned his head. A middle-aged woman was standing before a table full of books, hands brought together in front of her, and Lex would bet just about anything she had a British accent. She just looked so. . . proper and educated. But she had a kind face, too. Her hair was short and light, and the clothes she wore spoke more of practicality and comfort than of any desire to appear dignified.

So far, so good.

"May I introduce Liza Olexi," Bruce said. Gesturing to Lex, Lin and Julian, Bruce then turned to Liza and said, "Liza, this is Lex, Colin, and young Julian Luthor." Bruce smirked at Lian, and the kid looked like he wanted to stick his tongue out in retaliation. Instead, Lian settled for a brief glare in Bruce's direction, then ducked his head, but not before Lex caught the twitching of his lips. Julian could never keep a straight face.

"Thank you, Bruce." Liza said. "It's so nice to see all those etiquette lessons didn't go to waste."

Lex had been right. British.

He looked to Bruce, and the other man clarified. "Liza was one of my tutors when I was young. I'll always remember the time she took me to the city zoo and we watched the elephants for a whole afternoon." Turning back to her, Bruce asked, "What exactly was the point of that trip? I can't think it was just to return me covered in cotton candy."

Liza chuckled and said, "Oh, I'm sure you recall your father's regular discussions on politics. He once called Republicans "dirty elephants" within your hearing, and you insisted you must verify that elephants were indeed dirty. Upon seeing them, you asked me why your father seemed to dislike elephants so, and I bowed out and suggested you ask him." She again chuckled and shook her head with a sigh. "You were such a funny little boy," she said, with a fond look on her face.

Bruce, on the other hand, looked about as uncomfortable as Lex had ever seen him. Well, that answered that question. She'd been Bruce's own tutor from before his parents' deaths, and a very well-liked one, at that. No wonder she was his first choice for teaching Lin and Lian. Lex liked her already.

"Well," Liza exclaimed, "I can't believe either of you gentlemen in need of any assistance from me with those lofty educations of yours. So Colin, Julian, with your approval I think I'll shoo them out now." She looked between the two of them, and upon receiving a nod from Lian, waved her arms theatrically towards Bruce and Lex. "Be gone now, you! The three of us have learning to do!" When they reached the door, she winked at them before shutting it in their faces.

Bruce still had a strange look on his face when Lex looked over at him. "Yeah," Lex began, "she'll be good for them." He patted Bruce on the back and slung his arm around the other man's shoulders as they began to walk back down the hall.

***

It appeared Liza Olexi was to be more of a tutor/nanny. Bruce had said she was going to be staying over in the east wing, over where Alfred and the other staff had their rooms. It worked for Lex, anyway. Julian was eight-going-on-nine years old, and Lex himself had had a nanny until he was 13. Plus, if Liza staying in the manor meant one more person looking out and caring for Colin, then Lex had nothing even close to resembling a problem with it. He was damn glad, in fact. Because Liza? Was awesome. He only wished Lian and Lin had had her with them years ago.

Liza had come down to the kitchen around noon and declared that she and "the boys" were going to have lunch upstairs in order to "get to know each other better." He and Bruce had shared a look, and then Lex smiled back at her and asked how things were going. Liza's lips quirked a little.

"Oh, Julian is such a dear boy," Liza said, as she arranged the food on the tray. Then her expression turned sad. "But Colin-- " She looked at Lex and Bruce and said, "You didn't give me much information to go on, Bruce, but I know certain things when I see them. And the fact that you three are here at all," she continued, pointedly looking at Lex only, "speaks of some family tragedy." She set down the plates she had in her hands, and sighed as she came over to take a seat across from them.

"I hate to say this about anyone, let alone a boy as obviously intelligent and talented as Colin, but. . . " She hesitated and glanced down at her hands. "But I highly recommend you take him to a doctor." She looked up at Lex again. "He spoke to me. I understand from Julian's reaction that this was quite unusual, but it's not that which troubles me most." Liza licked her lips and took a deep breath, before continuing. "Colin allowed me to look at his drawings, and-- and what I saw scared me. Some of them are so imaginative and beautiful." Her hands became more animated and Liza looked almost happy and certainly excited as she described Lin's drawings.

"There was one I remember quite well," she said, smiling. "Colin had drawn an ark of sorts. It was enormous, took up the whole page, and so detailed! On each plank of wood was drawn, as though etched and carved into the wood itself, all sorts of animals and mythical creatures." Liza looked between the two of them. "All of his drawings of nature and animals are like that one. All of them simply filled with light and hope and happiness. But the other drawings. . . Colin has several drawings of himself and of his. . . father." She made eye contact with Lex, holding him in her focus. "Your father. Only-- only he was depicted as no father should be.

"Alexander," she said, and then her expression softened a bit. "Lex. I don't need to know the specifics of what happened. I just need you to get him some help, some real help. Take him to a 'shrink.'" Here she looked over at Bruce and her lips briefly twitched. "He needs to talk to someone, or else I'm very afraid that he will. . . do something to himself. Do you know what I mean, Lex?"

And Lex felt how wide his eyes were and knew he looked afraid, but didn't feel any guilt or weakness in showing it at that moment. He swallowed and looked into Liza Olexi's eyes and said, "Yes, Liza, I do." He couldn't maintain the eye contact any longer, though, and reached out to play with his water glass. "It's a very real worry, as far as Lin is concerned. He's tried to kill himself before. When he was 12." Lex glanced up to see her horrified expression, and his eyes went back to the glass in his hands. "I appreciate you telling me this, and I promise that Colin will get some help."

Liza nodded, and stood up to walk back over to the counter. She gave Lex and Bruce a small smile a few minutes later when she left with the tray of food, presumably on her way back upstairs to eat with Julian and Lin.

Bruce looked over at him and Lex turned and asked, "What?"

"I talked with Nick yesterday," he replied. "Part of you getting custody of Julian and Colin requires both of them to undergo a psychological evaluation." Bruce reached out to pull the glass of water away from Lex's fidgeting hands, and gripped both of them in between his own. Warm hands. Bruce's ever-calm face looked at him and Lex felt able to breathe properly for the first time since Liza had talked to them. "Nick also said he knew someone who would do it, and that he and the caseworker from Family Services were on good terms." His eyes focused on Lex's and he gave him a reassuring look. "Lex, your brothers are going to be okay. We'll get Colin into some counseling, and you custody of them, and Jameson will notify the Metropolis DA's office about. . . what Lionel has done. And he will go away for a very long time. We'll get justice against him. Right?" Lex nodded mechanically, gripping Bruce's hard.

"God, Bruce, I hope so."

***

At a quarter to two in the afternoon, Lex went back up to the library to get his brothers. Nick Fallin would be arriving at the hour, and both Julian and Colin should be there to meet with him. Lex was sure that they needed to know what was going to happen, and Colin -- Lex could feel his breath stick in his throat, and coughed -- Colin was going to have to talk about some of what had happened. Nick needed to know what he was dealing with, and Lin should deal with it somehow. Maybe sharing some of it would help.

Knocking on the door, Lex waited a beat and then opened it, leaning his head inside. Julian and Liza were sitting next to each other, heads close together and smiles on their faces. Looking for Lin, Lex blinked when he saw his brother's legs, the rest of him hidden behind a large easel. Lex cleared his throat again and stepped inside.

"I'm sorry to disturb the learning, but I need Colin and Julian to come down." Meeting Liza's eyes, Lex said almost apologetically, "Nick Fallin is due to arrive soon, and they need to be there."

Liza nodded to him and then patted Lian on the back. She stood up and went over to the easel. Stepping behind it, Lex could hear the quiet tones of her voice, but couldn't make out what she was saying to Lin. Soon, though, she and Lin came back into sight. She remained hovering near the easel, while Lin and Lian began walking towards Lex. He stood back from the doorway, allowing them to pass through first, and then giving Liza a last look, followed them down the hall.

They had decided to meet in Bruce's office and so Lex overtook his brothers on the stairs, leading them into the room once they'd reached the first floor.

Inside, Bruce sat behind the massive oak desk, spinning a pen around with his right hand. Upon seeing the three of them enter the room, he sat up quickly, stopping the pen and gesturing for them to sit over by the window. Evidently Alfred had brought in some more chairs and arranged them into two rows facing each other. Five chairs. Lex sighed, and mentally thanked Alfred for putting them in the sunshine at least. This would be hard enough without Lin having to be in the full gloom of Wayne manor.

Lin sat in the chair closest to the window, and Lian promptly took a seat next to him. Lex knew the three of them should stick together, no matter what the setting or context of the situation, and so he pulled a chair from the other row more towards Lian. The result was a sort of 'C' shaped sitting area, with Colin and Lian at the top, Lex in the middle and Bruce and Nick's chairs parallel to Lin and Lian at the bottom. Bruce came over from the desk and eased into the chair directly opposite Lin's, leaving a chair open between himself and Lex for Nick.

They waited a few minutes in silence until three minutes after two, when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Bruce called.

The door opened, and Alfred stood back as Nick Fallin entered the room.

"Mr. Nicholas Fallin, sir," Alfred announced.

"Thank you, Alfred. That will be all for now." Alfred withdrew, closing the door quietly behind him. As Bruce stood up to greet Nick, Lex took the opportunity to look the other man over. Nicholas Fallin was the son of a prominent corporate lawyer, and had graduated Excelsior Academy, class of 1991. He'd also attended and graduated from Princeton with his law degree and, as Bruce had informed him, was currently a partner at Fallin & Fallin. Lex smiled to himself, and thanked nepotism for the first time in his life. Given Nick's high placement at the firm, the lawyer would have greater access and contacts than if he'd been just another associate at his father's law practice.

To say that Nick had been infamous back in the day was putting it mildly. They still told stories of his "parties" at Excelsior. His mother had come from old money, and she and Lillian had once been good friends. When Anne Wells divorced Burton Fallin in 1983, ten-year-old Nicholas went to live with her in Pittsburgh, PA. Leaving Burton back in Gotham. Anne had always been well-connected and was a part of Lex's parents' social circle. But Nick was seven years older than Lex, and all that wasn't what had really made them aware of each other.

What had made Lex so interested in Nick was the fact that Anne died from cancer in 1985. Nick had been 12-years-old. Shortly after her death, Burton was granted custody of Nicholas and from then on until just last year, Nick remained away from his father -- first in boarding schools, then college, then a job at a New York firm. Nick and Lex shared a lot in common, and every once in awhile they would see one another at some fundraiser, or big holiday party. Lex was sure Nick knew just as much about him as he did about Nick, and so they never really had to smile and chatter at each other and make polite small talk. On the few occasions when the two of them talked, they interacted in a way that reminded him of how he and Bruce were, calm and simply enjoying the company.

Nick was a good guy at heart, but he'd had serious problems with cocaine, and in his personal life had the absolute worst luck of anyone Lex had ever known.

Lex stood up and offered his hand. "Nick Fallin," he said, smiling. "I hear you've been a bad boy again."

Nick's bright gin turned sharp and he chuckled. "Well, Lex, you know what they say. You can always tell a junkie's lying if his lips are moving. I've found the same to be true for lawyers, as well."

Lex laughed and shook his head. "It's good to see you doing so well, though. You and your father getting along, then?"

Lex knew his mistake as soon as he'd asked, but still wasn't quite prepared for how quickly Nick's face closed down. "Yeah, things are good," Nick said, but Lex knew a sore spot when he saw one, and wisely dropped it.

Turning to half-face Lian and Lin, Lex gestured for them to stand and introduced them to Nick. "Julian, Colin, this is Nicholas Fallin. Nick, my brothers Julian and Colin." Nick shook Julian's hand with a smile, but as Colin only nodded at him, merely returned the nod and sat down. They all took their seats and waited while Nick reached into his briefcase to get out a legal pad and a pen. He brought his right leg up to rest on his left, and looked first at Lex.

"Bruce led me to understand that you're seeking guardianship of your brothers. That true?"

Lex nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Well, I've already called for the psych evals at Dr. Cassiday's office, and Family Services will need to meet with you sometime this week. . . to get an idea of how you're suited for the task." Nick maintained eye contact with him and Lex found himself reevaluating the man's talent. Perhaps he'd underestimated how deserving Nick was of that partnership position because right now he seemed completely in control and on the ball.

"Now, I've been in touch with Rick Jameson back in Metropolis, and he's going to notify the DA today of suspected criminal activity on the part of one Lionel Luthor. Tomorrow," here Nick turned to address Colin and Lian, "you'll both go in for psychological evaluation, and if you're up to it, perhaps depositions." Turning back to Lex, and looking between him and Bruce, he said, "That is, I'm assuming you want Colin and Julian to stay here. Am I correct?"

"Yes," Lex responded. "Bruce is a longtime friend, and he and Alfred -- and Lian and Lin's new tutor, Liza -- are going to help us. That's going to work, right?"

"Yeah, there's no problem with that," Nick said, writing something down. "The Waynes have a sterling reputation, and the fact that you've got them a tutor speaks highly in your favor." He looked up at Lex. "I don't foresee any problems with you getting temporary custody of your brothers, Lex. That's not what I'm asking. You're going to have to go back to Metropolis and appear before the judge asking for custody, though. That's non-negotiable. My question is, do you want Colin and Julian to remain here in Gotham? In which case we can most likely get by on the depositions. Or. . . do you want them to come to the hearing?"

Nick brought his leg back down to the floor, and leaned forward, "I've gotta tell ya, Lex. I highly recommend letting them stay here." He took a deep breath and glanced over at Bruce before looking back at Lex. "Lionel is a powerful man, and considering what Bruce and Rick have told me. . . taking them back there is just asking for him to do something."

Nick leaned back in the chair, his leg coming up again to rest on his left. His right hand reached up to his face, and Nick rubbed wearily at his eyes. "I remember the first time Burton introduced me to Lionel. I'd been talked into coming back for the New Year's party at Luthorcorp, and your father shook my hand and patted me on the arm, grinning the whole time. He talked mostly business with my father, but at one point he turned and, just completely out of the blue, said to me, 'You know, Nicholas, my son is attending Excelsior now. I know how much you liked it there, and I hope he does just as much.'"

Nick raised his head and looked over to Bruce. "You both know Excelsior." He turned to Colin, trying to make the boy look at him. After a moment, Lin did look up and stared blankly right back at him, but Nick didn't seem at all bothered by it. "And I understand that you went there for awhile, too. I got into a lot of things at that so-called school that have haunted and chased after me ever since. And by saying it the way he did, Lionel essentially told me that he knew all that."

He looked at Lex again. "He was saying that he wanted you to suffer. Everyone in that circle knows what I did at school and what's happened since. Everyone knows everything in that crowd, and your father was telling me he hoped his own son did the same things I had done. That's when I realized how crazy he is, and if I can help you, in any way, I will, Lex."

Nick was a good man, and Lex could tell when someone was lying to him. And like Chance, he knew Nick was trustworthy. Another friend, maybe? Certainly a powerful ally and a damn good lawyer. Lex didn't feel so helpless or hopeless anymore. They weren't alone in this, he, Lin, and Lian. They had people who were helping them, and who seemed to want justice just as much as they did.

***

After another few minutes of Nick bringing them up to speed on procedure and how things would most likely play out, the air in the room began to shift. Nick looked pointedly at Lex and then glanced at Colin. Lex took a deep breath and tried to somehow mentally prepare himself for what must come next.

He turned to Julian and said, "Why don't you go see what Liza's doing, Lian."

To which Julian frowned, but nonetheless stood up and almost stomped out of the room.

Nick turned to Colin and leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs. "Colin, I have to ask you some questions now about what happened between you and Lionel. Either tomorrow or Wednesday, you're going to need to tell all that you can about what Lionel's done, and I need to have an idea of what to ask you so we can prepare."

Nick took another deep breath. "I'll tell you right now that I have no idea what this has been like for you or your brothers. I've worked and represented a lot of children in the past three years, a lot of horrible cases, but I don't pretend to think that that makes me able to identify with you. None of us here can." He waited until Colin looked up at him before continuing. "But the truth is that we can't help you either, unless you tell us some of what happened. I know you can't say everything. But-- but I need you to decide what's important and for you to tell us. It's your testimony that will put Lionel in prison, Colin. It's a low blow, but if you don't testify, if you don't tell me so that I can help you, chances are you and Julian will go back into Lionel's custody. . . and I know you don't want that."

Speech over, Nick remained sitting forward in his chair with his eyes only on Colin and a sad expression on his face. Lex held his breath until Colin began to speak.

Quietly and haltingly, Lin laid out a timeline of events that had Lex wanting to rush to the bathroom.

Colin had been at the Centre for over a year before Lionel brought him to the house when he was four. The sex had begun when Colin was ten years old, and had continued until last week when Lex had checked all three of them into the hotel room. In order to keep him silent, Lionel had threatened Lin's life, and when that had stopped working, he'd made noise about hurting Lex and Julian.

Colin didn't talk about what went on at the Centre. He said Lionel had pictures of him, naked, in his desk at Luthorcorp. He said that every time someone showed even an interest in him, Lionel made sure they went away. He said that the only reason he'd been allowed to go to Excelsior was that he'd promised to do whatever Lionel wanted him to when he got back at Winter Break. Lin said he'd tried to kill himself nine times, the most recent being last month.

After Colin had stopped talking, just sat staring out the window, Lex, Bruce, and Nick stood and shook hands. Lex had to wipe his face, and Nick had to clear his throat, and no one mentioned either. Before walking to the door, Nick crouched in front of Colin and waited until the boy looked at him. Nick held out his hand, and after a moment Lin reached out and shook it. Lex saw a tear glide down Nick's face, and Lin said, "Thank you, Nick." And Nick gave a sad smile and stood up. He nodded at Lex and Bruce, and then was gone.

Lex turned to Bruce, and when he saw the other man's pained expression knew he had been right to send Julian away. Later, Lian would be told. Later, he and Lin would tell him. But today, Nick had needed to know, and Lex knew the telling for them alone would be much different.

And much more horrifying.

***

Interlude

Five days, no sleep.

But he was starting to get sloppy, and soon the dreams would return.

Surreal, that's what the week had been. For as far back as he could remember, being awake meant being afraid. Now he was terrified to sleep.

Nick Fallin had come to pick them up yesterday. They'd gone to see a psychiatrist on Tuesday, and it wasn't until Friday that they had to go in for the interviews with Social Services. And Lin'd had to talk to someone from the Metropolis DA's office about Lionel.

He'd been videotaped both times, and later Lian said he had too. The questions were. . . invasive. And before his statement against Lionel, one of his father's lawyers had tried to threaten him in the hallway. Lin had felt kinda bad for the guy. Being sent all this way with the express purpose of making Lin change his position, the guy now had to go back and tell Lionel he'd failed. Lin knew they probably wouldn't be seeing that lawyer again. Lionel didn't respond well to failure.

Colin hadn't told either Family Services or the lady from the District Attorney's office everything. Of course. If he did. . . well, he'd be put into a mental asylum (one of Lionel's, no doubt) and Lian would be back in Metropolis. . . alone with their father.

So he only told them about the sex and the control, and not even all of that, either. He pretended to not remember everything, like a human. He pretended and lied and wasn't surprised by how easy and natural it felt. He just called up Lian's face for motivation, and then thought of how Lionel lied. Lionel was the best liar Colin had ever seen, and he did it by infusing each falsehood with just enough truth to not contradict himself in later retellings. So, Colin forced himself to speak and lied with almost every sentence. But they were mostly lies of omission, so he didn't feel all that guilty.

No one would be hurt by him withholding some information. Lionel would still be indicted, and Lian and Lex would be still be safe.

Even if he did choke up and stumble over his words a few times, it wasn't any big deal in the scheme of things. No one wanted to hear the details of how that knife had felt sliding through his spinal cord, or what his own blood tasted like.

Lex wasn't a very thorough packer. He'd never thought to check Lin's coat pocket and now the damn cell phone wouldn't stop ringing. Lin had turned the sound off, but somehow he couldn't make himself just power the thing down. Or smash it into powder.

He'd probably been trained too well. 'Always answer, Colin. I won't tolerate disobedience, not in you.'

It was Saturday afternoon. Yesterday had been the statement. Poor Nick had looked even more freaked out then than he had during the first telling. Evidently, the doctor from yesterday wanted to put Lin on drugs right away, said he needed immediate help, told Nick they should admit him to the psych ward in the hospital -- under suicide watch. Colin secretly agreed with the guy, but he would kill before he allowed anyone to lock him up again.

Lionel was calling. The light on the phone was on, and the display read 'Answer, Lin.' Bastard had put that on there special, just for him.

But he wouldn't pick up. Lionel must have gotten word of what was going on, and wanted to sink his teeth back into them, but Lin wasn't going to play along. He wasn't.

When the psychiatrist had asked him how he felt about himself, he had to think about it. If he told him the truth, they'd try for the hospital. And if Lin attempted to lie, he wasn't sure how well he could pull it off. There was no amount of truth he could put into saying something other than that he disgusted himself.

He really should just throw the damn phone out the window, but instead his finger hit the 'Send' button, and he heard Lionel's breathing. How many times had Lin felt that man's breath on him? How many more would he? Somewhere deep inside, Lin knew this was only temporary. Lionel would never really let any of them escape. Soon he'd be back in that chamber, and Lex and Lian would be Lionel's devoted servants and all Lin would be able to think about was how it had felt to be dead.

"Well, I see all that time spent on you wasn't a waste, after all. Do I really have to spell out what you are going to do, Lin? Or are you smart enough to figure it out for yourself?"

He tried thinking of Liza's smile when he'd shown her the finished painting of her and Lian. Lex's laugh the other day when Lian had made antlers with his hands while standing behind Bruce's chair. The feeling of waking up in a bed with no one else in it.

The sun on his face as he and Lex and Bruce rode horses yesterday, the wind blowing flakes of snow at them that stuck to Bruce's eyelashes. Lex's smiles and his arms and the way he turned his head and looked at Lin when he thought no one else saw him.

Lex and Lian and Bruce.

And Lillian.

But no matter how hard he tried, every picture in his head melted into Lionel. Julian had his father's nose and mouth and Lex used the same gestures as Lionel did when he talked.

"I'm not going to come. . . back," he tried to say. But his voice was barely a whisper, and even he couldn't hear the last part.

"Oh, my boy, you are so predictable. Do you think I don't know where you are? That I don't have someone inside that house right this moment?" Lionel sighed into the phone. "I don't need to know what you're planning, Lin. You've gone against me, and now things are going to be most unpleasant for all of us, I'm afraid.

"We'll try this: either you're here in my office within twenty minutes, or I'll make sure everyone knows what I know. And I do have proof. Enough of it to make your stay in the tank look like a vacation in the Amalfi Coast. Do it, Lin, or by the end of it you'll beg me to take you back, if only to stop what they'll do to you."

And with that, Lionel hung up and he was left in his room in Bruce's house with the itchy feeling. He knew this feeling like he knew Lex's face, and it was a comforting one now. It came upon him quick and beautifully, and its tongue reminded him that he had enough meteorites to do the job this time.

He'd hoarded all he could after the last time he'd tried to kill himself, and it was still in the keepsake box, the false bottom invisible even to Lex.

If he swallowed them all, one right after another, then he could probably get them down before his throat closed up. If he saved one, though. . . he could use it to cut himself, and then he'd have two ways of dying and no one could get him to heal the cuts while the meteorites were still in his stomach. He'd bleed out, and then there'd be no way that Lian would be given back to Lionel. They'd find the phone and check the last call, and everything would fall into place. Lex would get Julian permanently, Lionel would be sent to jail, and Lex, Bruce, and Lian would all live happily together.

And Lin wouldn't have to tell them anything about anything. It was a good plan.

He got up then, and carefully placed the cell phone on the bed where they'd find it. He walked to the bedside table and pulled open the second drawer from the top. Reaching inside, his hands curled around the wooden case and he slid it out. He opened it and gently, lovingly took out all the important things Lionel had tried to destroy. Placing them next to the cell phone on the bed, he then pulled the false bottom out of the box and lifted up the smaller lead case. Carrying it into the bathroom, he set it down on the counter and looked at himself in the mirror. Thin and white and big eyes and too much hair. Colin hated that boy staring back at him so much in that moment that he slid out the top drawer of the vanity and took up the pair of scissors gleaming and winking at him.

With his hair shorter, he thought he looked more like an alien. It stuck up in uneven tufts and his head felt so much lighter. Like he was already drifting away.

The plan was a good one, he told himself. And it would've worked--

--had Lex decided not to come looking for him.