Disclaimer: Square owns FF VIII, ain't that the hard truth.
Immaculate White Flowers and Blood – Red Roses
"Love, love, love - that is the soul of genius."
-
Mozart
What's up, Raine?
Uh…I dunno why I'm writing this; I mean, I can always
talk to you later back at the pub, right? I guess I just like talking to you all
of the time…even when you're not here to answer me back. Does that sound
weird? Man, sometimes I think I'm too stupid for my own good! That's
probably why I always end up getting lost…I wonder…Nah! I'm just an
aspiring (not to mention frustrated) journalist, so it's really okay and
perfectly reasonable for me to write down my thoughts - you know, for practice
and all that. Nothin' lunatic about it. Yeah…*nods head* I'm a genius!
OWWW!!! What the…?!
I've just walked straight into a…a lamppost?! (Whee! Look
at all the stars!) Darn, it hurts real bad! Arrgh!
* some agonizing moments later *
Wish you were here right now to look at my head…you're
always good at this stuff…though I bet you'd scold me first before asking if
I'm alright. Yup, sounds just like you to do that. I can almost picture it in
my head right now…you'd probably say, "Oh, Laguna! Now look what you did,
you shouldn't be walking around Winhill and writing a letter at the same time!
Honestly! And with monsters running loose…!", and then you'd shake your
head at me, and sigh, then ask if I'm okay…
*
Laguna's mouth quirks into a smile *
Yeah, yeah, I know it sounds stupid to pay more attention to
writing a letter than, say, watch if you're going to fall off a cliff or
something, but hey, people do stupid things when they're in love…* Laguna
blushes * (Did I just write that?) Er, uh, but isn't that the reason why I
have Kiros with me? To warn me of any imminent and life-threatening danger? And
speaking of Kiros…
* sigh * Oh well, I should have known! Really, who needs
friends who're willing to go patrolling with you and yet who refuse to say
something helpful like "Don't look now, Laguna my friend, you're heading
straight for a lamppost, so I, your ever loyal comrade and chum, am strongly
advising you to take a sudden right turn so you'd spare your body some aches
and pains."? * groans * And look at my loyal comrade now, he's actually
smirking…! Apparently, he thinks it's funny! * grumbles *
What can I say? Kiros is Kiros is Kiros. * shakes head * Say,
I wonder what Ward's doin' right now? He's most likely mopping up after
those Galbadians at the D-District Prison. Aw, poor big guy…Kiros and I miss
him a lot, though my dignified friend here hasn't told me anythin' (he's
too busy laughing as of the moment), I can tell. We'll get him outta there
soon, yeah…!
Hey, well, will you look at that! Summer in this town sure
brings out the best of 'em flowers! I'm sure you'll be itching to get your
hands on these; they even make me forget about my throbbing head!
Hmm…blood-red roses…they remind me of someone. Her. Julia. (And my head
throbs again with memories…)
I wonder if Caraway's treating her fine? He'd better or
I'll…I'll think of something!
Julia Heartilly – the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.
Beautiful, elegant, talented. I can still remember how her music could make me
feel lighter after a hard day's work, how I used to lounge at Deling's Hotel
just to see her and watch those fingers caress the piano, and wishing it was me
she was caressing. I listened to her until everyone else was gone and I was the
only one left. I'd looked at her eyes and saw my dreams come true.
And also, I can't quite forget the horribly idiotic way I
acted that night: limping off the first half of the evening while hearing her
play, and then falling asleep on her hotel bed. Alone. * sigh *
You know what, Raine? I really believed it was going to be
Julia and me, us – together, like we were meant to be. I thought she'd wait
for me. But fate interfered, and look at us now. She's gone off and married
some wealthy general and I'm here, living off the rest of my life in this
quiet town of Winhill.
With Elle. And you.
To tell the truth, it's really not so bad here, and I
don't mind much. You guys are my family now, and I…care for you. A lot more
than I'd have imagined possible. Scratch that, I'm in love with you.
I just don't know if you feel the same way…
When did I realize my feelings, you ask? Let's see, I'm
not so sure myself, but there was this one time at the pub when I decided to
stop and just look around. I was feeling pretty tired then, and I wasn't
really up to chatting with anyone since that required a lot of energy for me. (Kiros
once told me that I exerted more energy while talking to people than I did when
killing off monsters…maybe he's right…I should give the guy more credit!)
So yeah, I stopped and looked around. Everyone seemed to be having a good time.
Elle was helping you with the flowers. And I sort of just sat back and looked at
you when you thought I wasn't looking.
I studied the way you quietly share your love for everyone by
everything you do. Your efficient style of running the pub, and how your sweet
spirit flares up in the most unexpected moments. I don't know how long I
stared at you, content at what I was doing. Then you retired for the night, and
I noticed how dreary everything felt after you went up to your room – like a
candle suddenly extinguished of its flame.
You're different, Raine. Exquisite in a way that no one
else'll ever be – at least, for me. With Julia, it was all dreams and
fantasy. But you – when I first opened my eyes after you saved me from death,
I saw myself reflected in yours. And no, I didn't see dreams.
In your eyes, what I saw was forever. I didn't know it back
then, but I do now. I never thought I'd live to see the day when I'll be
able to think of Julia or hear her song, and not feel any pain. Strangely
though, everyday I spend here sort of heals away all the bitterness I hide
within myself, replacing it with the certainty and assurance that anywhere, with
you, is where I belong. Now I can be happy for Julia and not feel bitter about
anything, because I've found my chance with you.
* sigh * Of course, I'm still too much of a coward to do
anythin' 'bout this…but someday, yeah…
Oops, I'm smiling to myself right now while I'm thinking
of you, and (surprise, surprise) Kiros is looking at me strangely with this
knowing look on his face, so I better continue this another time, like at home
where I'm safe from the dangers of the road and well-meaning (?) friends.
Besides, I think I see some caterchipillars straight ahead…hmm, I wonder if
you'd like some Spider Webs?
Later,
Laguna
P.S. What do you think? Maybe I can be a journalist, after all!
Timber Maniacs, here I come!!!
F/N: Sorry about some instances where Laguna couldn't possibly have written
(like when he bumped into the lamppost), I couldn't think of another way to
write that scene; and you're probably annoyed with all the asterisks
already…-_^ But hey, Laguna's pretty resourceful! Anyway, if you want more
letters, then please, tell me.