Chapter #2- Empty Dialogue

I bring everything I need to study for the test to the chairmans quarters as well as my pajamas. Seeing as the lesson would take a while for me to understand I decided to just sleep there, in one of the extra rooms. Zero wasn't here yet. I place the books on the table, deciding to take a shower and change first. I go to the bathroom and take a shower with hot water, my senses revive and my muscles relax somewhat and I feel a little more energetic. When I return to the living room with my night dress on Zero is already sitting on the kotatsu. I greet him and sit beside him.

'What is it you don't understand?' Zero asks me. Though he sounded impatient I knew he was just wanted to help me get over it just as much as I did. When it came to studying I was a lost cause, rarely did I get the right answer and understood something completely. I turn to him and shake my head.

'Nothing.'

His eyes bore into mine. 'Nothing.'

'Nothing.'

'You can't be that much of an idiot,' he says opening the book. I narrow my eyes at him.

'I don't even know which subject we have a test on.' In an instinctive attempt to prove him wrong I had made myself look stupid. He rolled his eyes while sighing and mumbles something that sounded like 'idiot' under his breath. I decide to ignore it.

'It was Algebra and we were learning about angles.'

This information came into one ear and out the next. I stare at him, he stared back. He knew the capacity of my brain and I was somewhat thankful.

'It's math. Numbers. 1-2-3.'

I roll my eyes. 'Thanks for narrowing that down for me, Einstein.'

We start the lesson and it turns out to be even more confusing then I anticipated. He explains the lesson to me three times, repeating everything over and over so I stuff everything into my head. He then makes me memorize the formulas and shows me examples. I attempt one and get it wrong. He tells me to do it again and moves closer beside me. He sits a few inches behind me and I feel the heat from his body hitting mine in waves. I feel my heartbeat quicken slightly. What was that? This was Zero. Focus, Yuki. But I found it hard to when I felt his constant breathing against my ear and my hair. I shivered slightly and I think he noticed but I bent down to my work so he didn't say anything. I try to focus on my problem, if I got this right he would move away, if he moved away my heartbeat would go back to normal. This uncomfortable feeling was strange to me. I wanted him to move but I liked the closeness of his body.

'That's wrong,' I hear him say and he leans forward, his chin a few inches above my shoulder, his chest touching my arms slightly and my back. I freeze. I had never actually seen Zero in that kind of light but it suddenly occurred to me that Zero was a man. With his large, muscular body pressed lightly against mine I wondered to myself; how long ago had Zero turned into a man? He moves away and I look at what he has corrected. Darn, it's the simple things that can easily go wrong in a math problem. I try it again in another page, concentrating hard and wracking my brain in order to get it right.

'I did it,' I nearly squeal when I finish the question and get the same answer as Zero had on the other page. I felt a cool feeling go through me, I felt like a genius in that second. My confidence suddenly boosted. I turn my head to him and nearly jump, his face is only a few inches from mine. If I had even been half-an-inch closer, my lips would have met his. I was about to turn around or get up or move away or… anything when I suddenly caught hold of his eyes. They were staring into mine and I didn't have the strength to look away. My thoughts were shattering and my mind melting into mush. The way he looked at me…it was like he… but that was impossible. He couldn't. his amethyst eyes were soft and they glittered slightly, they were serious as they looked into my chocolate orbs.

Ever so gently, he leans foreword, closing his eyes and kisses my lips. I am frozen under him. He was kissing me. Zero Kiryuu. I couldn't think, I couldn't move. But my body had a mind of it's own and as his soft lips moulded into mine, my heartbeat quickened and all my nerve endings focused on where his lips met mine so basically I couldn't care less about the world and my entire being was focused on the boy I grew up with, kissing me. A few seconds felt like forever, and he suddenly pulled away. The silence was deafening as we looked into each others eyes. Trying to decipher what the other was thining. I didn't know what to do. What did this mean? His eyes flashed with some emotion and before I could catch it he got up from his position. I couldn't talk as he walked to where he had taken his jacket off. My body was shaking in confusion and something else. Some other emotion I couldn't understand. I felt the door open and I whip my head around.

'Zero!' I say, without thinking. Even though the last incident had occurred I had to think about his feeling. I didn't know what he was thinking and I just wanted him to look me in the eye and tell me. But he didn't turn around, he stood with his hands on the doorknob, I notice the slight tremor in his arms.

'Finish the practice questions Yuki.'

I flinch. He was angry, the very sound of his voice had confirmed it. He was angry at me, but why? What had I done? I hear the door close and my mind tell me a little too late that Zero's gone. I bring my finger up to trace my lips, where Zero's had touched. They tingled in a pleasant way and I suddenly imagined what it would feel like to have him touch me, to kiss me harder, with more passion and what if I had kissed him back? A heavy feeling settles in my stomach. I felt the guilt and yearning. But why? I had never felt like this with Kaname. With him it was okay to just admire him from afar, being near him had me stiff and uncomfortable. With Zero I wanted to run my hands through his hair, his chest, his entire body. I wanted him to kiss me with as much passion as he could muster. I felt a hot sensation settle at the pit of my stomach. What was wrong with me? Not a few hours ago, I couldn't think of Zero as anything more than a brother and now I want him to come back here and make out with me. I shake my head, clearing my thoughts and look down at my papers and books. I couldn't concentrate after something like that. I lay my head down on the table, my eyes closing with heavy lids. Just before I fell into unconsciousness, the kiss we had shared came to mind and I found my heart beating faster than it ever had for a man.