Chapter 19
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The better part of two months had passed since that first kiss.
I spent as much time as was humanly possible with Jacob. It was now more like we were friends again, instead of more than that. He had reverted to holding hands, or putting his arm around me. It was nice, normal.
The spring dance had come around again, and this time, I would be at la Push instead. Jacob and I were in his garage, discussing what to do on that distant day. No, it can't be a normal day, it's the spring dance, his voice echoed through my ears as we silently contemplated. I decided to compromise. "How about this." I started, "We spend the whole Saturday normally, then when it is time for the dance, we go see a movie or something like that?" It was reasonable. The day before the dance would be normal anyway. "Actually, I was thinking," he began after a second's though, "That we could go cliff diving, or something else that is fun. I would be there, so you wouldn't almost die this time." he finished with a mocking grin. "I don't think so. I've had my fill of jumping off of cliffs for one lifetime, thank you very much." I stated promptly. "Well, we could go to Seattle. I've been needing-"
"No." he cut me off. "Not Seattle. Haven't you been reading the news?" he asked, like the reason was obvious. "Why not?" I asked. It wasn't obvious.
"The murders Bella. The body count is up to forty now. This thing isn't human, or even several humans. We've all been talking, and we decided it is a crazed newborn vampire, or even several."
I just stared. I hadn't even thought about vampires for over two weeks when Victoria had come looking for me again.
"Okay." I sat numbly. "No Seattle." My voice was dead from remembering the twisted reality I was living in.
Jacob noticed. Putting his right hand on my cheek, he gently pulled me around to face him. "Bella," he said softly, "Don't worry about them. You have a huge pack of werewolves here to protect you."
"It's not that." I told him. "It's just, I haven't even thought about vampires or anything magical for nearly two weeks now. It just caught me off guard." I explained.
Sliding his hand down to my back, he pulled me into his warm embrace. "Good. So I didn't break my promise?" he asked curiously. I was now confused. "What promise?" I asked him I felt him smile as he whispered in my ear, "You know, the one where I said I wouldn't hurt you anymore? I didn't' break it just now did I?" His quiet voice had shrunk down as he spoke, worried about my answer. "No. You are fine." I reassured him. Pulling me back a little, so he could look at my eyes, he smiled my smile. "Thanks." he said, leaning in to kiss me softly.
This one was just as quick as the first. Smiling, I put my hand on his, as he pulled his head back, keeping it pressed to my face.
Looking at my watch, I sighed as I leaned against him, "I guess I should get going. Charlie will be home soon."
As I made my way out of the garage, he wrapped his arms around me. "You'll come back tomorrow, right?" he asked. Of course I would! How could I not? He was finally my Jacob. He had not belonged to Sam around me for two weeks now. "Yes, right after work." I promised.
Even though it was May, nearing the end of school, it felt like February. Only his blazing arms kept me from shivering. The icy wind shifted directions as we got to the truck.
"HOLY CRAP!" Jacob shouted. "Vampire. Stay behind me!" Putting me against the truck, he stepped back. His form quivered, the air around him shimmered soundlessly, like heat haze. Exploding out of himself, he crouched as a wolf, his hackles rising as he snarled a loud warning.
I thought I saw a flicker of movement in the trees where Jacob faced. He confirmed that thought as he started forward, stopping immediately. He looked at me, then back at the forest. His head whipped back and forth so quickly it almost looked comical.
Finally, he decided, turning back to me. He then pointed to the road with his paw, laying on his stomach expectantly.
What did he want? Was I supposed to get on, like so oversized horse? What about my truck? His whine brought me back. Shifting slightly, he whined again.
"Do you want me to ride you?" I asked, slightly disbelieving. I had ridden a horse before, but that was with a saddle, and I had still fallen off. He nodded once, then shifted closer to me. Unsure, I swung my leg over his back, sitting on his spine. It hurt.
He lifted his back legs up, sliding me forward into the hollow of his shoulders. Oh, much better.
As he stood up, I lurched forward, wrapping my arms in a death grip around as much of his neck as I could manage. He was so big!
Then we were moving. I felt the wind pulling as we flew, and I felt the motion of the run. It was much smoother than a horse, but still noticeable.
I made the mistake of looking up from the russet fur. The trees blew past, leaving sight even more suddenly than with- I cut that thought short. The dull pain began creeping into my chest. Smothering my face into Jacob's fur, I quickly buried that pain; much easier to do than it used to be.
Not even ten minutes had passed when Jacob slowed to a trot. Stopping at the edge of the forest, he crouched down for me to get off.
I hugged his colossal head as he stood again. "Will you come in? I don't want to be alone." I asked pathetically. He looked back, shaking his furry behind in answer.
Blushing, I replied, "Oh, yeah. You'll be close though, right?" In answer, he nodded and pointed of in either direction with his head.
"Okay." I said, hugging him again before heading inside. The weather really was cold away from Jacob. I hurried in, closing the door tightly behind me.
Deciding on something easy for dinner, I settled in to wait for Charlie. It didn't take long. Only five minutes had passed, since I started dinner, when I heard the cruiser pull into the driveway.
The door opened as I emptied the spaghetti noodles into the boiling water. "Hey Dad." I called as he walked in. "Hey Bells. Why are you home so early? I figured I'd need a restraining order on Jake if I wanted you back anytime soon." Charlie laughed as he hung up his belt.
"Am I really that bad?" I asked sheepishly. I knew I spent a lot of time at Jacob's, but I was sure I wasn't missing dinner. "No," he replied. "I'm exaggerating. But if I thought you and him spent a lot of time together before March, it was nothing compared to now." He chuckled again as he sat at the table.
Putting the defrosted meat in the pan, I reflected on the last few months.
"So," Charlie continued, "What is it with you and Jake? Are you like, official now? I feel it's my right to know." he finished, his voice taking on the protective parent role. That question took me off-guard. I guess technically we were together, I had just never thought of it that way.
I started to answer, but was interrupted. "Now, don't try lying to me. I've seen how he looks at you, and how you inch closer when his arm is around you. Now, come clean." he finished sternly. His tone nearly made me laugh, but I restrained myself.
"Well," I started, "I guess we are. I really like Jacob." There. Mission accomplished.
"Well, that's great Bells! I mean, he's a good kid, and he seems much better for you than Edward was."
His words trailed off after he realized what he had said, and I almost dropped the hot pan of spaghetti sauce. Those words had ripped open the healing hole I had covered up for so long.
Struggling to compose myself, I quickly served up Charlie's dinner and put the rest on the stove. "Oh Bells, I'm sorry." he said quietly. "I shouldn't have brought that up, should I?"
"No, Dad, it's okay." I managed. "I'll be in my room." He didn't' stop me. He could see the water works coming, and nothing scared Charlie more than tears.
Grabbing a pair of shorts from his room first, I closed my door. Opening the window, I threw the shorts out the window and spoke between the pain, "Jacob, please come in." Leaving it open, I lay facedown on my bed, the sobs taking me.
I heard a light thump as he landed, then Jacob's arms were around me, pulling me upright into his chest. He didn't say anything as I cried, just waited while stroking my hair.
Finally, I composed myself enough to stop the violent shivering, although the tears still flowed. "I'm sorry Jacob. I shouldn't have called you. You must be wondering why-" I broke off as another sob broke through. "Sshh. It's okay Bella." he assured me. "I heard everything, and I understand perfectly." His voice was hard, but he hugged me tighter, the heat radiating from him helping to calm me marginally. "Thanks Jake." I said weakly. "you don't know how glad I am to have you here." He didn't say anything, just pulled tighter for a brief moment.
We sat like that for what seemed like hours. The tears had stopped and the sky had deepened in its gray when he asked, "Are you okay now?" I was able to answer with no problem, "Yeah, I feel better. Thanks again Jake." I wrapped my arms around his waist as I said it, his body warming the remaining ice on my heart.
Kissing my head, he murmured, "I love you Bella." I paused, thinking. What should I do? Here I was, crying over - I couldn't' think his name - and here Jake was, comforting me. For the last six months, he had been there for me. Of course he was. He was my Jacob. My fest friend, more now. So much more. I realized I loved him too. I always had, it was just long in coming. "I love you too Jake." I said quietly.
I felt him change. His arms quivered slightly as he pulled me back, not with rage, something else. His eyes sparkled at those words like a kid's on Christmas morning. I smiled sheepishly at him as he bent towards me quickly. Pausing halfway, he looked at me.
He saw only assurance.
His lips crushed mine with an eagerness not far from violence. I kissed him back, my lips moving with his in a way they had never moved before. I realized, I didn't have to be careful with Jacob. I didn't want to be. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me closer.
After maybe thirty seconds of that blinding violence where all I knew was Jacob, the heat subsided. Jacob's ecstatic joy faded, and we slowed down. He released his tight grip, still holding me there, but not crushing me. His lips were tender against mine, the calm after the storm.
His lips stopped and he slowly pulled me away. I dropped my hands to his arm as he moved it to hold my shoulder. "I should go back outside." he said sadly. "Wouldn't want any vampires getting through. Don't worry, I'll stick around." he promised.
We walked to the window and he stepped out onto the roof. "I love you Bells." he said softly, kissing me gently again, like our first kiss. "Love you too." I replied.
"Leave the window open for a sec, I'll throw these back up." he said, pointing to Charlie's too-short-too-fat shorts.
He jumped down, and the shorts flew back up shortly after. Stowing them in the laundry basket, I saw a russet wolf streak into the forest, as I shut my window, running to keep me safe.