im new at doing this, so bare with me. this is my first story... thing. they are short, but will be updated every day, or every other day. (im homeschooled, i have a lot of spare time.) here is chapter two, it's basicly just setting up for chapter three, which will be long.

EmPOV

Paintball guns… paintball guns. Where are the paintball guns… "ALICE!" the little pixie sprung up beside me. "Mhmm?" stupid little pixie.. She's to fast.

"where are the paintball guns?! Paint ball guns.. Paint ball guns…. Paintball guns…….."

"uh, they are in…. jaspers closet….. What were you just doing?"

"I was just looking for the paintball guns. Paintball guns…. Paintball guns."

"n.. no. what are you doing.. When your talking? It's creeping me out." she backed up a little bit and stared at me. What was I doing? Seriously?!?! WHAT?!

"I'm moving my lips. that's what you do when you talk. when you talk…when you talk…… when you talk…." seriously Alice! Think a minute, gosh! I rolled my eyes and ran to Jasper's closet.

"No! Emmet.. Your like.. Echoing yourself! that's creepy!" Edward walked by and punched me in the face.

"OWW!! Oww.. Oww….. Oww….. Oww. " I rubbed my face.. Oww.. That hurt.. "what the hell was that for?!!! for… for… for…. For. "

"for picking me up.. And hugging me. It emasculates me." oh my god! Again with the big words! WHAT IN THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!!

"……uh…………………… what does.. Em.. Asscoliaters.. Mean? mean mean mean.. mean." what could that mean? well, it has 'EM' at the front and.. asscoliaters.. So.. It must mean.. I AM EMMET AND I MAKE AN ASS OF MYSELF! YES!!! THAT IS IT!!

"no Emmet. It does not mean that you are emmet and you make an ass of yourself. Although it is true." I hate his stupid vampire…. Where are the paintball guns? I began to search again.

"EMMET!! HURRY UP! I THOUGHT YOU HAD VAMPIRE SPEED AND STUFF!" bella yelled up to me.

"emmet. You idiot. They are right there." Edward pointed into my hand.

"oh. No wonder I couldn't find them. THEY WERE HIDING IN MY HAND!" I screamed and threw them through a wall.

"EMMET CULLEN!!!!!!" oh shit. Esme. "hide me! Hide me!" I whispered.

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EsPOV

~humming a happy tune to myself~

"hmm, where is Rosalie? I haven't seen her all day. she is the cleanest of my children. Hmm." I sighed and looked out the window.(AN: i don't like rose either, so shush, but she does seem the cleanest *shrugs*)

"THEY WERE HIDING IN MY HAND!!!!!!" then.. A loud crash. Emmet.. Cullen. What have you done to my precious house?!

"EMMET CULLEN!!!!" I screamed.

Carlisle popped into the kitchen and kissed my cheek. "did Emmet break something again?" I nodded and glared up at the door.

"hide me! Hide me!"

"Emmet. Don't make me count to three!!" I heard everything stop moving upstairs. I got him now.

"One….?" I heard Edward laugh. "Oh Edward! Would you mind joining him?"

"aww! CRAP!" I heard Edward yell. Hmm.. What shall be their punishment?

"Two!" I yelled getting impatient in the second that had past and they still weren't down here.

"IM COMING MAMA!!!" emmet screeched.

"two and a half?" emmet popped up beside me before I could finish my threatening counting.

"And where is your brother?"

"no where?" emmet looked around sneakily. He thinks he's going to get away with this again?

"ok emmet. Where did you tie him up this time?" Edward walked down the stairs. Not realizing, or not caring, that 3 doors were glued to his face.

"uh, Edward? You got a little somthin'… uh.. On your face." Bella said from behind me.

"I know Bella. Thank you for observing that." he glared at emmet and got a lighter out of his pocket.

"Emmet?" I said, trying to sound calm.

"Yeah?"

"take the paintball guns and run. Bella, you too."

They ran away and Edward chased Emmet, who was carrying Bella like a dead bird, by her feet.

BPOV

"HI EDWARD!!" I looked back at him and waved, even though he was upside down. Silly Edward. Why was he upside down?

"Hey Bella." well that wasn't very enthusiastic. I glared at him and crossed my arms over my chest. Hey.. Wait a minute. IM UPSIDE DOWN!

"OH MY GOD! IM UPSIDE DOWN! HOW DID I GET LIKE THIS?! AM I MAGIC?!?" emmet looked down at me and laughed.

"Bella, we're going to the newton's store. Jasper, Alice, Rose, and Carlisle, will meet us there. We're going to have some fun."

i will get into more details and things tomorrow, when i update. like.. more.. POV's.. and.. things such as that.

hey! guess what?! REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY! you don't want to make me emo do you!? DO YOU!? T-T your an evil person if you don't....

naw.. im just kidding.. your just thinking "what the hell? your a freak. i don't think i want to review your totally awesome crack fanfic!"

*cough cough* review *cough cough*