Title: Ending the Game
Chapter 2 – Putting Blame to Rest
A/N: So I after some requests for some more Kelly/Erin and a showdown with Severide/Hadley in the hospital I was able to convince Alice to write chapter 2 and I hope you all like it as much as chapter 1. And yes you know I have to throw in some #teamsevasey b/c I love my boys please do not flame if you don't like, just please don't read. Thank you.
"You sure you're okay?" Casey asks in concern as he hears Severide offer a cough, followed by a small wheeze.
"Yeah…fine," Severide insists as he looks at Casey with a frown. "Just need a shower and some water. I'll be fine. You okay?"
"Kelly…your mask was damaged and you took in a lot of the Chlorine fumes. Not to mention you and Hadley…"
"Matt, I'll be okay. Tomorrow will be better. Once all this Hadley…damn what if he makes it?"
"He's going to jail," Casey reminds his friend in concern. "I think you should at least go to the clinic to get something for the cough."
"I'm fine," Severide insists as he slaps Casey on the back and then turns and heads toward the front of squad truck 3.
Casey looks at Severide's back before he hops into the front of truck 3 and then turns and looks at Boden; his eyes holding concern and worry. Much like himself, Boden's silent but visual reply is one that tells him to just keep an eye on his friend and in a few days it'll blow over. So Casey settles in his mind that, despite the fact he knows his friend has a date tonight, in a few hours he'll just send either a text or make a quick call to see how he's faring after today's tough events.
Severide reaches home, thankful that Shay's still on shift as he's able to just allow himself to use the empty space to utter a few angry growls in Kevin Hadley's name without being called on it or told he needs therapy. He pictures himself standing in that room, facing Hadley holding the bottle of chemicals and then trying in vain to reach Hadley before he drops the bucket and they both are blown to bits.
"AHHHHH!" Severide's lips cry out as his fist balls and strikes to the right, sending a glass flying into the cupboard and then smashing into several chunks; little shards of jagged glass landing in a myriad of places and forcing him to curse his own futile anger.
'Kelly Severide…Kevin Hadley…newest member of squad 3.'
'Hey man welcome.'
'Heard great things about 51. Think I'm gonna like it here. Looks like…my kinda place.'
'51 is great. Come on let's get you set up.'
He didn't pay much attention to it then but Hadley's veiled indifference toward Cruz and Dawson was more apparent now. How he'd never compliment them, not interact much with them and make comments that the squad colors were just what he wanted. At the time he figured it was the truck colors…maybe even the jackets but it never occurred to him that he was referring to race. It wasn't until Mills made a push for squad that it really came to the fore.
"Racist bastard," Severide grumbles as his lungs start to constrict; feeling a bit drier than they should. But as he allows his mind to fester on his hatred toward Kevin Hadley's recent actions he pushes past the concern and outrightly ignores it. Why not Boden? Was it because Boden was already in a seat of authority? Or was it just Mills in particular? Did he only want an all-white team? Really?
He takes a small swig of water and then heads into the bathroom to have a shower and then head over to Erin's. Despite the fact he feels like he's just survived a wicked wrestling match, the thought of spending some time with the beautiful brunette makes him push past all his current physical plight, have his shower and then head into his bedroom to get ready.
Shay texts him to see how he's doing and he simply texts, back that he'd see her later and hopes she drops the motherly concern. On the way to Erin's he stops by and picks up some beer; his mind trying to focus on the upcoming pleasure but still finding himself distracted on Kevin Hadley's outcome. Is he alive or did he do us all a favor and just die?
"You almost kept me waiting," Erin smiles as she opens the door and he automatically leans into her. Her senses are instantly intoxicated by his gruff scent mixed with aftershave and the lingering scent of smoke; adding a bit more dangerous appeal to his handsome exterior.
"I brought cold beer," Severide states with a smile as he follows her toward the kitchen, taking one of the beers and then placing the others into the fridge.
"Thanks," Erin states as she plucks the open can from his grasp; forcing him to slightly snicker as he heads back to the fridge and reaches for another. She looks at the reddish patches on the skin where his gloves would have pulled away from his jacket, thus exposing some skin to the fire and chemicals. "Can't imagine what it was like facing him down," she mentions in a soft tone, pulling his faraway gaze back to her.
"Hey, I'm sorry," Severide hastily apologizes as he tries to put on a tight lipped smile.
"Don't be, I get it. If one of my team had turned on us and then tried to kill us and I had to face them down I'd be a…"
"Million miles away?" Severide interjects somewhat curtly, earning himself a sympathetic glance. "It's not fair to you."
"But you being here keeps you from going to the hospital so I don't mind running interference," she tells him in truth as she leans in closer, their eyes locking. Within seconds she finds herself nearly drowning in the tumultuous sapphire pools a few inches away, her delicate fingers resting on his lightly stubbled jaw and slowly trailing upward to his cheek. She looks at a reddish scuff and frowns. "I don't mind if you talk about it."
"No it's…" he pauses to expel a brief but strained cough and then frowns. "I wanted to help him. If he had come to me…damn why'd it go that far? He wanted to die…either that or…you didn't see the look in his eyes. It was…"
"Panicked?" Erin interjects.
"No, that's just it. It was eerily calm. That's why I know he wanted us all to die. I was…scared."
Her hand rests on his cheek and then slowly draws his lips to hers and plants a tender kiss on them. "We all hate being scared."
"Now he burnt himself half to hell…" Severide grumbles as he expels another labored cough.
"Hey cowboy you don't sound too good," Erin mentions in haste as she gently takes the beer from his grasp and heads to the sink to get some cold water.
"I'm just tired," Severide stubbornly insists as she returns. "I want to be here."
"Here…" she hands him the glass and then reaches up and touches his forehead.
"Erin," his hand captures hers and then pulls it back down. "I don't want to ruin this okay?"
"I might not know too much about chemical exposure and taking in fumes and all that but I know it can't be good for you. You feel warmer than normal."
"You're trying to tell me I'm hot?" Severide retorts cheekily; Erin unable to do much but smile at his silly grin. "But it's over now and now we can all just get back…to normal," he pauses to cough once more. This time an inner wave of heat, emanating from his core flashes upward, reaching the top of his head and making him halt his actions. Suddenly…a bit nauseous…maybe I'm just hungry.
"Pizza's almost here."
"I think it's just….the stress…of the day," Severide answers with a small huff.
"Maybe you're dehydrated?" Erin suggests in concern as her hand returns to his forehead. "You were in those fumes for longer than maybe you thought?"
"I just need to sit…somewhere…"
"Comfortable?" Erin interjects as she helps him stand up. "Kelly!" Her voice instantly exclaims as his steps falter and his hand is quick to shoot out and grab onto the nearby counter. "I'm calling…"
"I'm fine!" Severide barks as small dark circles start to form; his brain yelling at him liar and get help at the same time. "I just need…" his voice dies out as he tries to get into the living room.
"I'll call…Matt…" is all Erin manages, her words followed by another surprised gasp as Severide's frame falters and then starts to sag to his knees. "Kelly! Hey!"
His head starts to pound and soon her voice sounds so small in his ears; the booming from his heart sounding like it was about to make his head explode at any second. He collapses to the floor.
Within seconds Erin's on her knees checking for a pulse. "Weak pulse…" she mutters as she calls for an ambulance and then calls Matt Casey.
"Is he breathing?"
"It's…the ambulance is on its way but…I have…no wait…Kelly!" Her pitch is now shrill as she leans in closer and this time hears no breath and feels no pulse. "He's not breathing!" She literally shouts into the phone and then hangs up; pressing down on his chest and then breathing into his lips – twice. "Come on Kelly…you're too damn stubborn for this! COME ON!" She shouts as she pumps down on his chest and then offers two more breaths.
This time he finally responds and a faint gasp is heard. "Stay with me…" she softly begs as she continues her CPR. Casey arrives before the ambulance, dropping to his knees at her side and helping to tend to his friend.
"Kelly! Hey buddy…" Casey calls out as his hand rests on Severide's clammy forehead and then cheek. "Shock…he's in shock…"
"What else happened in there today?"
"Chemical exposure and smoke inhalation," Casey states with a small huff as the ambulance finally arrives. "He should have gone to the hospital to get some oxygen. And he calls me stubborn."
"You're both the same," Erin quips in an undertone as the ambulance finally arrives.
"Kelly! What happened?" Shay's concerned tone asks in haste as her and Dawson start to quickly tend to one of their own.
"He just…collapsed."
Casey helps Erin stand up and then back, allowing Shay and Dawson to work on stabilizing Severide for the ride to Lakeshore. Both Casey and Erin get into his truck and follow after the ambulance, Casey asking for a few more details but both agreeing that Severide's system was now rebelling against the chemical residue he had unwillingly ingested but then didn't seek proper treatment for right after the incident.
"I know he's going to ask about Hadley, so I'm going to check on him and then I'll be back here," Casey tells Erin as they follow after the stretcher into the ER; Severide being taken through the doors to be tended to.
She watches him leave and then turns and stares helplessly at the swinging doors; gingerly walking toward them and peering through the Plexiglas windows and watching with a panicked gaze as his body is lifted onto an examination table for closer inspection.
Erin turns and gazes down the corridor where Casey had gone to check on Hadley and knows that when Severide comes to, that's the first place he's going to want to go – whether she, or Casey want it or not. Can I cuff him to the bed? her mind muses. For a few seconds a rather naughty thought pops into her mind, him helpless at her mercy and her having her way and her whole frame instantly warms. But she quickly scolds herself; telling herself he's in there being treated for chemical vapor exposure and all that fun is now put on hold.
She didn't make a whole bunch of calls as she didn't want to panic everyone at 51 if there was no cause; Casey could do that if he so choose. But waiting is almost torment enough. "How is he?"
"Stubborn as usual," Shay groans as she nears; Dawson a few feet behind her. "He has to stay overnight for some oxygen and IV therapy to rid his system of the chemical residue. They can't cure his stubbornness."
"Can I see him?"
"They're just taking him for some oxygen therapy now."
Erin thanks Shay and then says goodnight to the two medics and slowly heads into the room where Severide was being prepped to be taken to the oxygen chamber.
"First date…first huh," Severide manages with a hoarse whisper as she nears, her hand slipping into his. "Is…Matt here too?"
"He's outside. How are you feeling?'
"Like I was run over…by a damn…freight train."
"Worried me for a second there," she tells him in truth as her voice threatens to crack.
"Can't get rid…of me that…easily," he lightly wheezes; looking up with watery eyes and a remorse-filled expression. "Is Hadley…"
"Kelly you need to worry about you."
"Is he alive?"
"Yes."
Severide looks up at the familiar male voice and watches Casey approaching the bed with a concerned expression of his own. "Really," Severide simply states as he slumps back down onto the stretcher and closes his eyes; his pounding head begging him to just rest and talk later.
The doctor returns and tells them he's taking Severide to the oxygen chamber for a few hours and then to a room for the duration of the night to finish up the IV therapy; flushing his system of whatever reside wanted to linger. Casey hangs back, calling Boden with an update but telling him that Severide would be okay in a day or two.
"Casey, are you sure he's okay?"
"He's fine Chief. He should have come for this a few hours ago but at least he's getting it now. Hadley's alive. He'll pull through."
"Keep Kelly away from him."
"Will do," Casey replies as he hangs up, his mind swirling back a few moments earlier to when he saw Kevin Hadley in the burn treatment room being tended too. 'He's going to make it but he'll be scarred for life,' the doctor had told him flatly. Casey knows that permanent pain and disfigurement coupled with his long jail time would ensure Kevin Hadley would be forced to life with the consequences of his actions for a very long time…in reality, living the rest of his life as a damned man.
'I want you to die….burn…die Severide….DIE!'
Despite the comforting moisture in the oxygen chamber, Severide's lungs start to gasp for air as his mind shows Hadley dousing him with the deadly mixture and then setting him on fire. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Severide's lips cry out and his body starts to thrash about inside the dark, almost suffocating chamber.
"Hey Kelly buddy...it's me….it's Matt. I'm here with Erin…you're okay. You just gotta relax…"
Matt…
"Kelly? Hey handsome you gotta think about something happy okay? Like me nursing you back to health."
Erin…
Severide's mind finally allows himself to realize he's not on fire, he's alive and just needs to calm down and relax…allowing the healing moisture to heal his tormented insides. But at the same time he knows he can't just let go of all the pain that Hadley caused them since his expulsion from 51. Traitor! Backstabber! Racist! Murderer!
"I'm worried," Erin whispers as she looks at Casey with a heavy frown. "Will he ever be able to let this go?"
"He will in time. He bounces back pretty good…I hope," Casey replies with some uncertainty in his tone. The two of them talk a bit longer before Severide is finally released from the oxygen chamber and sent up to a room in the ICU recovery to be put on the IV treatment to flush his system with fluids for the rest of the night.
Severide's weary eyes slowly open to see Casey and Erin in the distance; his lips slightly coughing and alerting them to his being awake.
"Hey buddy," Casey greets as his hand rests on his shoulder and gives it a brotherly squeeze. "Was worried."
"Yeah…me too," he softly croaks as he looks up at Casey and then over at Erin. "I'm okay. Tired."
"You're here for the night so just rest okay?"
"Go home," he states somewhat curtly and then grimaces. "Sorr…" he starts only to have her gently push a finger to his lips and stop his speech. He takes her hand and kisses her fingers before giving it a squeeze. A few seconds later he closes his eyes and slumps back down; the nurse coming in a few moments later to check the tubing and then telling them the fluid bag would be drained in two hours and then she'd be back with a fresh one.
"I'm going to stay a few more hours," Casey tells Erin as they talk in soft undertones in the hallway outside Severide's room.
"Me too. I can't just go home and…want some coffee?"
"I'll get them," Casey volunteers.
Once he's gone, Erin turns and heads back into Severide's hospital room with a worried expression. She nears the bed and, sensing her presence his tired eyes instantly open.
"Where's…nurse outfit?" He asks with a small smirk as she just shakes her head and leans in closer.
"I'll give you a full body inspection when you're feeling up to it," she whispers before kissing the tender part of his ear lobe.
"Up to…it now…" he gently snickers and then coughs; his smile morphing into a grimace.
Her hand rests on his chest as she looks down in tender concern. "I really want to scold you for being so stubborn. The doctor said that stuff could have really screwed with your lungs."
"I know…I just…" he starts and then stops; his chest constricting as his hand tightens around hers. "I'm glad you're here. Where's Matt? Did he go?"
"He went to get coffee. We're going to stay for a few more hours and you have no say," she declares firmly.
"Bossy."
"You like that about me."
"Very much," he replies with a faint eyebrow wag.
"I know you want to ask about Hadley or go see him but I hope you change your mind. It'll only cause you more pain."
Severide looks up with a tormented gaze as his mind wages a war between two different opinions over his final meeting with his former team member. Sense and reason wouldn't win out this round. Erin places a kiss on his forehead and then trails down to his lips, pressing them against his a few seconds longer, before pulling back and telling him to get some sleep. This time he actually listens.
"Is he asleep?" Casey inquires as he returns about five minutes later.
"Finally," Erin sighs as she takes the cup of coffee, the two of them heading back into the hallway to talk without disturbing their sleeping friend.
However, about three hours later, Severide's mind rips him from another violent nightmare, his brain racing with thoughts of confronting Kevin Hadley one last time. He rapidly blinks, trying to clear away the watery covering and then finally getting them to focus. Make the damn room stop spinning! He angrily orders his brain as he looks around the room. Slumped in the corner in one sleeping chair is Erin and the other is Matt Casey. He offers both of them a faint smile but knows he won't rest completely until he sees Kevin Hadley one last time. Careful not to disturb too much of the tubing, Severide pushes himself upright and then slowly leaves the room; bringing the IV pole with him.
He nears the burn recovery unit and then nods to the night desk clerk before he asks which room Kevin Hadley's in; telling her he's a co-worker who was injured in the same fire and wanting to check on his condition. Not able to discern his real motives, the nurse tells him the room; Severide thanking her and then slowly heading toward fateful destiny. With each step his lightly slippered feet make in that direction, his heart rate increases and his breathing starts to shallow.
Severide stops just outside Hadley's room, hearing him utter a painful gasp and feeling his jaw harden. He'd have enough time to confront him before Casey and Erin awakened and realized he was missing – the search not being that detailed.
"You deserve what you got," Severide hisses in an angry undertone as he looks into Hadley's room.
With half his face covered, Hadley looks up and instantly curses. "How the hell…did…what…" Hadley's voice is raspy and somewhat incoherent as his uninjured eye narrows in contempt. "Why are…you…he…re?"
"To gloat you sick bastard," Severide replies with a small cough. "You…this could have been…prevented!"
"I'm…sorry…"
Severide looks at Hadley in shock. "What? You're kidding?"
"No…sorry…I didn't take…you with…me…" Hadley's lips utters; Severide's mind exploding with further hatred.
"You'll never hurt anyone again!"
Hadley looks at Severide with disdain and hatred; his mind not wanting to offer his lips any kind of remorse or even gratitude toward the man who ultimately saved his life.
"Every time you look in the damn mirror I hope you remember why you're like that and who saved your worthless ass!" Severide reminds him with a sharper tone; the nurse finally cluing in that he wasn't there on a goodwill visit.
"I'll be out…someday…" Hadley whispers; Severide's fist further tightening around the IV pole and causing the piece of hospital equipment to shake.
"I'll be waiting," Severide promises as the nurse nears.
"Hope…so…we'll…finish…it."
"We will!"
"Sir…you can't be here to upset him," the nurse tells Severide firmly.
"This damn bastard doesn't deserve anything good!"
"Call…security," Hadley barks as the nurse looks at him in wonder.
"That won't be necessary."
Severide hears Erin's clipped tone and inwardly cringes; looking to the right to see her flashing her badge to the nurse while Casey steps up to help him.
"Ah…look…the other trained…monkey."
"Shut it Hadley!" Casey retorts; Erin shaking her head as she looks at the nurse with a strained expression, trying to offer some remorse for the two off-duty firefighters hassling a very ill patient.
"They need to leave now," the nurse states firmly.
"I hope you rot in your damn cell! I hope you live in pain every single DAY!" Severide shouts before his lungs violently constrict and he nearly collapses into Casey's strong grasp.
"Now," the nurse gives her final warning.
Severide offers Hadley one more parting glare, his teeth gritting when Hadley's unbandaged hand lifts to offer a rude gesture and then mocking wave.
"No…lectures!" Severide's hoarse voice growls as he tries to pull free of Casey's grip. But in doing so, his steps falter and Casey has to quickly re-stabilize his friend or risk losing him to the floor. "Just had to see…for myself."
"And now that you did?" Erin gently counters as she looks at him in sympathy. "You walk away a whole man and he's forever broken."
"I don't feel sorry for him," Severide replies bitterly. "Sorry if that makes me…"
"Human," Casey interjects flatly as he looks at Erin with a heavy frown. "I don't blame you."
"Let's get you back to bed," Erin tells him, realizing right now the pain is too raw for Severide to sympathy with Hadley's physical suffering. In time, that bitterness would turn to indifference and she hopes with them forever parted that the inner disdain will also subside; at least for the sake of his own inner peace.
"You better stay here or I really will cuff you to the bed."
"Promise?" Severide wheezes as he lets Casey and Erin help him get arranged back in bed; his body slumping down with a heavy sigh and then looking back up in mild torment. "I'm not sorry what I said to him."
"He wasn't either," Casey huffs as he looks down at his friend. "But he's not worth you getting yourself worked up."
"When he gets out…"
"You'll be retired by then," Casey interjects as he rearranges the tubing. "Rest now. I'll see you in the morning."
Severide watches Casey wander back toward his sleeping chair and slump down; offering his friend a thankful nod before he looks back up at the woman still holding his hand. "Promise…I'll stay."
"He's finished Kelly. He'll never hurt anyone again."
"He…"
"Never again. That's what you need to tell yourself."
Severide nods and then closes his weary eyes, basking in the warmth of her tender affection as she leans in and presses her cheek against his.
"You're worth so much more than he is," she whispers before kissing his cheek and pulling back up. "Stay or else."
"Hope to see…the or else…soon," he manages with a sleepy smile as her brows gently arch.
"Goodnight cowboy," she tells him one last time, giving him one last kiss before she too heads for the other chair and sinks down into it. At first she has trouble falling asleep; worried that he'll get up or worse that Hadley will somehow manage to get up and come seek some final revenge. She had heard Hadley's taunt 'I'll be out someday and we'll finish it' and Severide's firm warning that he'll be waiting and they would. She fears for that day; telling herself in a fight to the death Kelly Severide might just give up his life to prove a point. For that she hopes Kevin Hadley remains in jail until he dies. For now she has to settle in her mind that blame was finally put to rest and that he'd be fine; Casey at his side and her presence growing in his heart.
THE END!
A/N: Well I hope you all liked a bit more Severide hurt hehe and of course you know I gotta get my boys in there and I hope you all you Kelly/Erin fans liked it. I always wondered what happened when Hadley went to the hospital but figured since there was no love loss between them as we saw in the eppy (and them meeting in the jail to discuss Shay's death) that it was strained and I hope I reflected that appropriately. Please do review before you go (b/c you never know what they might get you hehe) and thanks so much!