A/N: Made in an attempt to figure out how funny I really am. Well, I'll let you guys be the judge.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the characters

Lunch Hunting

It was a wonderful day in Twilight Town. Actually, since it always looked like it was a wonderful day in their town unless it was night or raining heavily, maybe it didn't really count. Still, Hayner, Pence, and Roxas enjoyed the atmosphere unique to their town as the walked along the streets of the residential district.

"Ahh, it's such a nice morning," Hayner said, stretching out his arms.

"Hayner, it's already afternoon," Pence said.

"He hasn't eaten lunch yet, that's why," Roxas explained, holding back a laugh. "He thinks his stomach is better in telling time than the huge clocktower you can see almost anywhere."

"Okay, whatever. Speaking of which, how come we haven't gone to eat yet? I'm hungry."

"Yeah, me too," Pence agreed.

Roxas sighed. The two were hopeless when they were hungry. Well, it was actually Pence who was hopeless when he's hungry. Hayner's like that either way. "We're looking for Olette remember? She never showed up at the Usual Spot, when she specifically asked for us to come. Anyway, it's a Saturday, and we always eat out together on Saturdays."

"C'mon, for all we know, she's going on a diet to try and lose the weight she gained over the break," Hayner said. "I vote we let her starve herself and we go out and stuff ourselves like the men we are!"

"Seconded!" Pence yelled.

"We can't," Roxas said, shooting their idea down. "We don't have any munny. We were planning to get down on our knees and beg Olette to treat us this one time. We talked about who would say which pathetic line and in what order. We even came close to rehearsing the other day but Fuu wouldn't let us practice on her."

"Oh..."

"Right..."

"I vote we follow through with the original plan and beg!" Hayner yelled.

"Seconded!"

Roxas sighed and subtly tried to put as much distance between himself and the two. For now, those two were complete strangers who just happened to be going the same direction as him.

-x-

The trio were now standing in front of the ominous obstacle that was Olette's front door. Of course, Hayner, oblivious to how ominous it really was, just jumped up the front steps and rang the doorbell without hesitation, not noticing Roxas and Pence duck for cover. Hayner's luck being as it is, it was Olette's mom who opened the door.

"Hey! How're you doing Mrs.--"

BAM!

The door was slammed right into his face. It was good that the boy had at least been able lean back or else his nose would have been crushed. Coming out of hiding, Roxas and Pence rejoined the startled Hayner. He still couldn't get it in his head that Olette's mother viewed him as a hostile threat.

After waiting a while, the door opened a crack and a part of Olette's figure could be seen.

"How many times do I have to tell you, never let Hayner be the first thing my mom sees!"

"There were special circumstances," Roxas smiled.

"We were betting whether or not he would finish saying hi," Pence explained.

"Anyway," Hayner interjected. "Are you gonna come out with us or-- woah, what happened to you?"

Olette had opened the door all the way now and the boys could now see that she was covered with a dusty layer of black. She was wearing an apron that was covered with smudges. She really looked like was completely worn down.

"Um, messy art project?" Pence guessed.

"And what's that smell?" Hayner asked, following his nose and pushing past her.

Despite Olette's efforts to try and stop the boys from coming in, the gang found themselves in the kitchen. Or at least what was left of it. The carnage that was previously known to that household as the kitchen was overwhelming. They couldn't even move without stepping into something slippery, sticky, slimy, or any combination of the three.

And judging from Olette's flushed, embarrassed face, it was easy to see who was responsible.

Pence, the ever polite boy, tried to help Olette blow this over. "So, um, the... rats here have really gone wild huh?"

Roxas decided that silence was the best course of action.

Hayner, for once, decided to take it easy on Olette. "C'mon, Olette, you're too old to be playing mad scientist."

WHACK!

Unfortunately, Hayner chose the wrong kind of joke right when Olette was within arm's reach of the frying pan. Even worse, whatever was in that pan made direct contact with his face and his slightly open mouth. Hayner set a new household record for the fastest time from the kitchen to the toilet.

After Olette had calmed down and Hayner was no longer a sickly green color, the gang discussed the next course of action.

"Now what?" Pence asked. "Olette said she used her money for ingredients for what was supposed to be our lunch."

Hayner and Roxas shuddered. "You planned to use us as guinea pigs for that?"

Olette flushed red in both anger and embarrassment. "My mom said I needed to learn. Called it bridal training."

The boys shuddered, Hayner a bit more than the others. Roxas reached out and patted him on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, Hayner. She'll get better... maybe," he said solemnly. Hayner flushed red and smacked Roxas on the arm.

Olette eyed them suspiciously. "What are you--"

"Nevermind," Hayner said quickly. "The question now is what do we eat for lunch?"

"Well, you could still eat what I made," she suggested. A long look from the three boys defeated her. "Right..."

"I guess there's only one thing left," Pence said.

"I guess so," Olette agreed.

"Thanks for letting us eat over at your place, Roxas," Hayner said, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

"Huh? Wha-?"

-x-

Desperately in need of food, the gang made its way over to Roxas' house. However, Hayner, Pence, and Olette practically dragging Roxas across the street meant that they made quite a spectacle of themselves.

"Um, I'm kinda having second thoughts about Olette's lunch," Roxas tried. "Maybe it wasn't so bad, you know?"

"Trust me, it's that bad," Hayner said.

"I thought it would have been," Olette agreed. Three curious stares were pointed at her. "What? I was too scared to taste it."

"Besides, your mom's a great cook, and she never minds whenever we come over to eat," Pence said, pulling Roxas along even more forcefully. Food was not a subject to be taken lightly with him.

"Yeah, I could ask for some tips for my cooking too."

"Oh yeah, I forgot! My mom said she'd be out the whole day."

"Doesn't matter," Hayner said. "There's always food in your house, even if its just instant noodles. Even Olette can handle that."

"Hey!"

Hayner ignored her reaction and continued, "Bottom line is we're hungry, and we'll eat anything. Anything edible," he added, seeing Olette's look.

The gang finally made it to Roxas' house. Knowing that they were fully welcome in the household, all of them simply barged in through the door. For the second time that day, they were greeted by an odor which was a mixture of something burning, rotting, and just plain foul.

"Oh, no. Not again," Roxas moaned. He went ahead of the others and into the kitchen "Mom? You in here?"

"Hey, honey." Roxas' mother was a kind and gentle-looking middle-aged woman. And right now, she was slumped in the middle of another disastrous kitchen. "Um... sorry, honey..."

The others had finally caught up with Roxas and were now staring at the mess in the kitchen.

"Woah, it looks like a tornado came through," Hayner commented.

"Yeah, it's even worse than mine."

"Actually, yours looked like it was hit by something nuclear, so this isn't so bad."

"I think there are times when tornados are more destructive than nuclear power, Hayner." Olette said defensively.

"Um, guys? You're getting off track. What happened anyway?" Pence asked.

Roxas had crouched next to her mother. "Mom, I told you it's fine. You don't have to force yourself."

"I-I couldn't help it," she whimpered. "I ate lunch like I always do, but after that, I couldn't help but try to do something for dinner. After all, I couldn't keep letting you and your father do the cooking..."

"Waitwaitwait..." Hayner interrupted. "Are you saying that Roxas knows how to cook?"

Roxas' mother nodded. "During the times you kids came over to eat, he always did the cooking."

"So, the pork cutlet, the beef stew, the curry, the homemade pizza... I can't believe it," Pence said, still somewhat disbelieving. "Come to think of it, Roxas was always home before we came over those times, and we never saw her mom actually cook, did we, Olette? ...Olette?"

Olette was at Roxas' feet, on her knees and bowing down. "Please supervise my bridal training!!"

"GAHAHAHA! This is great!!" Hayner laughed. "Roxas and bridal training! This'll definitely give you bonus points with that Naminé girl!"

Roxas' face was now glowing a bright red. This was mostly the reason he never told them of his 'domesticated' side. "Would you guys get a grip! Alright, out! Now!"

After being ushered out of the house by Roxas, leaving the cleaning to his mother, the gang finally calmed down enough to assess their situation.

"My mom said that she ate the instant stuff for lunch, and used up everything else, so there's nothing to eat here," Roxas said.

"I guess that means we're skipping lunch," Olette said, sighing. "I needed to diet anyway."

"No! I refuse to give in to these unfortunate turn of events!" Pence yelled.

"I'm with Pence!" Hayner shouted. "We still have our emergency contigency plan!"

"Oh no..."

"Not that again..."

-x-

"I wouldn't mind dying of starvation now," Roxas mumbled.

"This is so not worth it," Olette agreed.

"Of course it is!" Pence argued. "We should have done this in the first place."

"Pipe down and keep with the plan," Hayner snapped. "On three. One... two... three!"

"PLEASE PUT IT ON OUR TAB!"

All activity in the local eatery ceased as they stared at a gang of four children, bowing down on their hands and knees. The manager sighed, pulled out a long list that kept the record of their debt and started adding the usual amount. He didn't really mind, but he wished they didn't make a spectacle of themselves every time this happened.

"Olette."

"Yeah, Roxas?"

"Next time, we're tying these two down. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

A/N: To be honest, this is kinda embarrassing. I really wanted to break my silence in fic writing, and I really wanted to do another Twilight Town gang friendship, but whenever I look over it, it kinda pales, especially when compared to the other great friendship fics there are of these guys. Still, it felt good to write again. And I guess this counts as practice.

Anyway, review please!