Mulder was downright terrified. He tried to appear nonchalant, surfing the channels without seeing the TV at all. He had dreamed of sleeping with Scully for so long. He wanted to hold her and never let go. But Mulder also wanted other things. He wanted to make love to Scully. He could make love to her for days, the petite redhead that had found her way deep into his heart, a place that he didn't think would ever be filled again after Sam's disappearance. He loved her, of that he was sure. So as she crawled in beside him in the dark he couldn't move. He still lay atop the covers with one arm curled behind his head. He wanted her. He wanted to tell her everything that he was thinking and all that he had been feeling all these years but he couldn't, he shouldn't. She was his partner and his everything. If he told her this and she didn't feel the same way, or even if she did, he would risk losing everything that they had worked for, he would lose her. He couldn't bear that. But if he didn't tell her, she would never know and they would go on just as they had. Was that worth the risk? Sometimes the personal sacrifices are just too much and they both had sacrificed so much already for his quest. He knew this was one thing that he could not take away, one thing that they could not sacrifice for the truth. At least they had each other and he decided that he would tell her. He had to tell her tonight, close to her in the dark when she could be Dana the woman and not Special Agent Scully.
Scully felt Mulder roll off of the bed and she wondered if he was actually going to sleep on the floor. Surely the thought of sleeping next to her wasn't that bad. Then she heard his soft movements in the dark. He was undressing for bed. He was undressing, oh Jesus. She heard him take off his shirt and then the zipper on his jeans. This had to be some form of hell. She felt the bed dip again and then the cool draft as he lifted the covers and wordlessly crawled in beside her. She had her back turned to him on her side facing the window so she couldn't see what he was doing. She wanted to roll over and cuddle up to next to him and to kiss him on the forehead with her a soft goodnight. But as she thought of kissing his forehead, and then his eyelids, and then his cheeks, and then his neck, and then his lips... she decided she better stay put.
"Goodnight, Mulder."
"Um, Scully..."
tbc... reviews worshipped!