1 – Oxford
"Miss Di Marco!"
A deep, male voice boomed through the cavernous lecture hall, shattering my daydream.
"If you do not see fit to pay attention, if you deem this topic beneath you or, most likely, if you feel that you are out of your league, then you are most welcome to remove yourself from my class!"
The rest of the students turned in fearful silence as they watched the most dreaded lecturer on campus challenge yet another student. Professor Kurtz was an average-looking, middle-aged man, standing no more than five foot eight, with greying blonde hair, and a thin, pocked face. His disfiguring scowl only changed to a sneer when he was belittling and humiliating his students, which happened on a regular basis, often bringing the female victims, and the occasional sensitive male victim, to tears.
I turned my head slowly toward the offending instructor, raising my chin in quiet defiance.
"I'm listening," I said in a calm, low voice, my eyes connecting with his, refusing to break contact.
He huffed at my insolence, and his neck began to turn red. I could see the vein on his left temple begin to bulge as he started to pace the scuffed, tile floor, his head bent, and his right hand held high in the air, shaking a finger at the ceiling.
"You may be the toast of the Pharmacology Department, Miss Di Marco, but you have much to learn in Biochemistry. If you were listening, which I doubt, then explain to the class what an intracellular transmitter is. No one here seems to have done the prescribed reading for today's lesson, and I grow tired of repeating myself. So, Miss Di Marco," he continued condescendingly, turning dramatically to head back to my desk, "dazzle us with your brilliance, or is it time for you to change Options? Fear not. I have a pen ready. I'll eagerly sign any necessary documents," he taunted as he pulled a felt pen from his breast pocket, waving it in my direction.
The round lecture room had eight rows of small desks positioned on an incline, facing a lecture podium and chalkboard. There were no windows, and the lighting was dull, favouring the podium and the professor like a spotlight. I sat in the third row, and when he returned to stand before me, we were nearly eye-to-eye.
"An intracellular transmitter is a natural protein found in the brain that regulates the dynamics of the cytoskeletal molecules, in turn determining cell morphology. There are, presently, very few studies being done on these transmitters as they rely on the study of the intracellular signalling process and cellular organization, two other fields sorely lacking in research. In short, intracellular transmitters determine how cells grow and change." I knew that I shouldn't aggravate this professor as I would probably need his help in the future, but, short of hexing him, which I was often tempted to do, my intelligence and tongue were my only methods of self-defence.
He stood before me, eyes unwavering. The packed class was silent, practically holding their breath, waiting for the explosion to occur. Surprisingly, it didn't. He merely huffed again, furrowing his brow, and as he opened his mouth to speak, the bell rang signalling the end of class. Panicked students virtually ran for the exit. Quickly gathering my books and stuffing them into my black, leather rucksack, I swung it onto my shoulder and headed down the stairs to the door. As I passed the lecture room floor, the professor scowled in my direction, his lank hair falling into his face as he leaned against the dais, shoulders hunched and arms folded across his thin chest, watching me leave. A flash of memory made my lips twitch upward slightly as I passed him, which only served to deepen his frown. I'd been scowled at by the best. Oh, how I missed Severus.
"You've got guts!" A voice emerged from a gathering of students at the far end of the corridor.
"You're going to get yourself thrown out of his class if you keep that up," another student chided.
"He can't throw me out for correctly answering his question, and he can't throw me out for not liking me," I calmly replied as I approached the group.
"True, but he can make life very difficult for you," added Emily, a tall brunette who had a dorm room on the same floor as me.
I shrugged, as I passed the crowd, not really caring what people thought. Although, I suppose I wouldn't have gotten in trouble had I been paying attention. Intracellular transmitting systems did sound interesting, and my mind was actually formulating possibilities. Contrary to the professor's accusation, I had done the required reading as well as researched the topic as much as I could on my own. My brain had gone into overdrive as he spoke, and I had been daydreaming about how this topic would work in conjunction with Belby's lycanthrope studies. I was starting to see connections between cell morphology and a werewolf's monthly change before I was interrupted. Could there be something in the signalling process that could be altered? I needed to get back to my room and write down as much as I could remember. I wanted to put together a good theory to present to Belby at our next meeting. I also thought that since there was such little research on this topic, it would make a great doctoral thesis, but I feared that I would have to approach the man I'd just offended in order to get authorization.
I was about half way down the corridor, heading toward the exit, when I felt a focused surge of energy coming in my direction from the rear. Automatically raising a Protective Shield, I continued my path. The energy divided and approached on either side, brushing against my arms and yelping as they received a mild static shock.
"Geez, woman! Can't I ever touch you without getting zapped?" exclaimed the force on my right as he rubbed his left forearm.
"I should have known better," Emily said, ruefully, as she rubbed her right elbow.
Emily had befriended me during my first days at the university. Her room was a few doors down from mine, and we shared a number of classes. She was a pretty girl, tall and lanky with long chestnut hair and big brown eyes. She once joked that she was more leg than body at which point her boyfriend, Colin, readily agreed with a roguish grin. He was about a head shorter than her with a slight build and unruly, strawberry blonde hair. Apparently, Emily and Colin had been an "item" since their freshman year as undergraduates. Both were studying medicine, but only Colin had the desire to become a doctor, a paediatrician to be exact. Emily was attracted to research as her sister suffered from cystic fibrosis. She had a personal interest in finding a cure. Both were friendly and encouraged me to socialize more. They thought that I was a bit too reclusive and needed to "lighten up".
"We're heading to the Red Lion. Want to come?" Colin invited enthusiastically, winking at Emily.
I don't know why they persisted. They would invite me. I would decline. They would insist. I would resign myself to either going for a little while or joining them later. That would be tonight's choice.
"Sure," I said. "What time are you heading out?"
"Oh, not for about an hour," Emily sighed as she snuggled close to Colin. "Why don't we swing by your room and pick you up?"
"How about I meet you there? I have some work to do first."
"Don't you ever stop working?" Colin admonished, rolling his eyes and wrapping his arm around his girlfriend's waist. "I took one class this summer, and I think you managed a full load. Why are you pushing yourself?"
"I have my reasons," I explained simply as we continued toward the exit.
The three of us strolled the paved path back to the dorms, and Emily and Colin dropped me off at my door, then headed towards Emily's room. I sighed inwardly as I watched the lovebirds. I didn't have to guess what they were going to do during that hour.
Releasing the wards to my quarters, I opened the door and sighed heavily as I entered. Peace at last. A flick of my right hand and a silent "Lumos" lit the trio of votive candles on the small wooden dresser on the opposite wall near the window; a slight scent of orange began to fill the air. The room was small with cream coloured walls and light blue bedding and curtains. A simple, three-quarter bed stood against the far left wall near the tall rectangular window, while a table served as a desk on the right wall near the bathroom. I stood in the doorway and shed my rucksack and jacket, kicking off my shoes in the process, leaving it all in a heap on the floor. My mind was reeling. Making myself a cup of lemon tea, I opened a blue and brass-bound notebook on the makeshift desk. Scanning the contents and finding a clean page, I sat and began to write my thoughts on how I believed intracellular transmitting systems may have an effect on cell morphology in werewolves. How I could work this into a Muggle thesis paper was still under consideration, but I had a strong feeling about this theory. Somehow, I knew I was right.
The late afternoon sun had set and the moon rose before I lifted my head from the notebook. I had lost myself in the work again. Wiggling my cramped fingers and rotating my wrist, I turned to look at the clock on the nightstand. It was nearly eight thirty. I had missed dinner again and had told Emily and Colin that I would meet them. Arching my back as I rose and stretching my arms above my head, I toddled stiffly to the bathroom to wash up.
The Red Lion Pub on Godstow Road, just off of High Street, was a common hang out for the graduate students. It had an elegant air to it but was still very much a college pub, serving great food as well as a good pint of beer. Dressed in my usual black jeans, I had donned a dark green turtleneck jumper and a short, black, leather jacket. Entering the crowded establishment, I scanned the mass for my friends. Locating them at a small table in the back corner, surrounded by a few classmates, I worked my way through the throng, and as I approached, was unceremoniously pushed toward by some rowdies and nearly landed in Colin's lap. He looked up with a slightly intoxicated grin.
"Well, I'll be buggered. You actually came." His words were slurred as he gazed up at me. "Russell, pull up a chair for our workaholic friend," he commanded to a robust, dark-haired man at the table. "Rosy," he shouted to the barmaid, "a pint for this poor, hard-working woman and a bowl of munchies. I bet she skipped dinner."
Emily rolled her blurry eyes at me apologetically as I sat in the newly procured chair.
"Hello, luv," Colin exhaled sweetly as he leaned forward and took hold of my arm. "I want you to meet Russell. He's a mate of mine from way back. Russ, this is Daniella. The only student I know with balls enough to face off with Kurtz. Emily told me what happened in class today." He clarified as he patted my arm and nodded to his girlfriend.
I held my hand out in greeting. "Hello, Russell." My once heavy Italian accent had softened with the constant use and exposure to English. It sounded almost sultry.
Russell's brown eyes glowed in the dim light of the pub. "Pleased to meet you," he replied as he took my hand in his large grip.
Colin made an obvious wink to Emily who grinned widely.
The following two weeks passed in a blur. End-of-term papers were being issued and lab reports needed to be done. Christmas exams were approaching, and I had run another "errand" for Albus up in the Lake District. After a particularly tough day, I sought the solitude of my chambers. Warding the room and casting a Silencing Charm, I lit several candles letting the soothing smell of hamamelis relax my nerves. Even in my little cubby, I was able to make potions for my needs. I just had to be a bit creative as to when, where and how. As I comfortably sat on a cushy area rug in the centre of the room, breathing deeply and beginning to unwind, I felt the ward and charm being violently disturbed. Releasing the Silencing Charm, an earnest knock sounded loudly on the door, disrupting my peace.
"Daniella! Come on! Open up! We need to talk!"
The knock sounded again before I could unfold myself from the lotus position that I had gotten myself into. Crawling at first and finally rising to my feet, I grabbed the door handle and hauled myself upright as the nuisance on the other side started to bang once more. I knew the voice but hoped I wouldn't have to deal with it today. I should have kept the charm up.
"Daniella! Open…" Emily's intense expression changed to flustered as I swung the door open and met her face to face. "Finally! I thought I would have to break it down. What's with you? What does he have to do to get your attention?" she ranted.
I ushered her into the room, with a silent wave on my hand, to avoid the curious onlookers gathering in the corridor. Dorm gossip was always on the rampage, and I had no desire to be a part of it.
"Russell is a nice guy. He's smart, courteous, sweet. He's invited you to dinner, to movies, for walks in the park, for library dates…I don't understand, and I'm tired of being in the middle!" She strode into the room and stopped in front of the dresser before turning around.
My brows furrowed: in the middle? She read my expression.
"Russ complains to Colin. Colin complains to me, and now I'm relegated to finding out what he's doing wrong. He likes you, Daniella, and he's trying to show you. You work too hard. You're too serious. You need a man in your life. Why don't you let him in? Let him… "sweep you off your feet"."
My eyebrows and lips turned upward in silent amusement, but I said nothing as she lowered herself onto the edge of my bed.
"What is it you don't like? He's tall, not bad-looking, build like a bloody brick. He's intelligent enough to hold a descent conversation with. I just don't get it?" She paused for a moment, then suddenly gasped, "No! You're…ah…not into…ah…women, are you? Oh, God!" Emily turned bright red, leapt from the bed, and buried her face in her hands.
I laughed out loud at her predicament and raised my hand as I shook my head. "Fear not, I don't prefer women," I explained through the giggles.
She lifted her head and looked at me incredulously. "Do you realize that's the first time since we've met that I've actually heard you laugh?"
I regarded her with a smile as she lowered her hands and calmly sat back down.
"Do you realize that this is the first time since we've met that you've been in my room?" I asked.
She smiled bashfully as she took in the sparsely furnished quarters. There were no family pictures, no pictures at all for that matter, not even a painting. The bookcase beside the table had numerous texts and tomes, supplies of notepaper and notebooks as well as a box full of pens. There were a few curious items that caught her attention; my quill set being one and the number of lit candles being another. She was particularly drawn to the votive trio that sat on my dresser. The crystal holders were individually etched, each with a goddess symbol: waxing, full and waning moons. They had been an anniversary gift from Severus during our second year, and one of the few things that had been saved from the fire.
"Do you want some tea?" I asked kindly as I rose to reach for the kettle.
"Yes, thanks. Those are beautiful," she pointed to the trio set. "Where did you get them?"
"They were a gift," I replied as I filled the pot with water in the bathroom sink.
"I'm sorry I burst in. I really don't understand. I like you, and I want to see you happy. Russell seems nice, and Colin and I thought you two would get along," she began explaining.
I returned to the room and sat on a padded chair across from her, waiting for the water to boil and trying to determine what to say. I could use magic to get her to drop the subject but that would leave me to deal with Colin and Russell. It may be easier to give her a highly edited version of events, just enough for her to understand my feelings and to leave it alone. I sighed, and it brought her attention back to me.
"I agree. Russell is a nice person, and I appreciate that you and Colin are concerned for my happiness, but there is something you don't know."
"Obviously," she uttered under her breath, waiting for me to continue.
"I won't go into details, and you must respect that I don't want to have it repeated, not even to Colin." Emily's brow creased, but she solemnly nodded her consent. "I'm married," I stated flatly, watching her jaw drop. I took a deep breath and matter-of-factly continued. "Circumstances have pulled us apart for the moment, but I hold hope to be with him again. I have no desire to be with anyone else."
"Why is this a secret?" she asked with stunned curiosity.
"It's complicated, and it's personal… and it's painful," I stated with a cheerless expression. "I tend to bury myself in my work to keep me from thinking about it, but also, because the quicker I get this done, the quicker things may return to normal. Do you understand?"
She nodded again, looking very poignant. "When was the last time you saw him?"
"About six months ago, and it was only for an evening." I had last seen Severus at a Society meeting in the summer. We had kept our distance and said very little, both knowing that although Voldemort may be gone for now, some of his followers were still out there. We understood the importance of keeping up appearance, but it hurt to not be able to reach out.
"He's not in prison, is he? Do you write or call?"
"No, he's not in prison." A fleeting smile crossed my face, then promptly left. My heart thudded in my chest. He could very well have ended up there had Albus not stood up for him. "And no, unfortunately, I have no communication with him at all." My eyes began to mist, and I was glad that the water was ready for tea. I rose and continued, "I really don't want to talk about this, and if you must tell Colin something, tell him that I already have someone in my life, but please, go no further. Milk? Sugar?" I quickly changed the subject, and with my back to my guest, shielding my actions, I transfigured an inkwell into a creamer and a quill into sugar cubes and signalled that the tea was ready.
I felt her rise behind me and gently place her hand on my back. "I won't tell, but if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you. Okay?"
"Okay," I agreed. "Grazie," and for the next hour we sat sipping tea and complaining about the number of papers that were due.