Mid-February and Dean was determined to prove that he wasn't dependent on alcohol to Sam. For the past two weeks, the older brother had been allowed nothing stronger than a light beer.
In all honesty; it was Hell, and Dean thought he was a pretty decent judge of that.
It also meant that he couldn't knock himself out at night into a dreamless, and drunken, sleep.
This resulted in far too many frustrated nights for Dean, whether it being because he couldn't get to sleep or because he woke up from a perfect dream-world that was haunted by the soft sounds of beating wings and the bright blue of unearthly eyes.
Currently, Dean was experiencing the latter. He stood underneath the (very cold) shower, trying to regain control over his subconscious and the beautifully torturous images it decided to supply him with.
The cold water helped to fend off his physical reactions to the dream (he really needed to get laid...) but the actual contents still haunted him.
Ghost-like touches across every inch of his skin, a phantom moan of his name whispered into the shell of his ear, a lingering vision of black pupils blown wide with arousal, leaving only a small sliver of blue visible around the edges.
His sleeping mind made him want to both curl up and cry as well s put his fist through a wall; surely his waking hours were bad enough - what, with him wearing himself down with thoughts of the Angel - but no, even in sleep his mind gave him no rest.
One of the /Supernatural/ titles idly crossed his mind and Dean inwardly cursed Chuck and his creepy, Prophet precision as he turned off the shower. No Rest For The Wicked, the accuracy of it almost hurt.
When Dean left his room in only the robe he had dubbed as his, he almost pulled the last bottle of whiskey from the cupboard but remembered his mission at the last moment.
Right then and there, Dean had already decided that that day would suck. Immensely.
~x~x~x~
When May arrived, Dean helped Charlie throw an actual party for Sam; they had cake, bad music and enough alcohol to make everything funny.
Sure, both brothers were grouchy in the morning, heads feels like hammers were rattling around inside them, but they'd had fun; them and their little makeshift family.
May 15th came and went but Dean gritted his teeth and simply downed another beer in his Angel's name.
~x~x~x~
Towards the end of August - when the evening air was still muggy but a crisp scent whistled through the trees and down alleyways that heralded the coming of colder weather - the Winchesters had just finished up a fairly basic salt n burn case and we're celebrating in the local bar.
"Don't deny it, Sam; I've seen you checking out blondie over there." Dean smirked over the edge of his beer as his brother took another glance before averting his eyes.
"Shut up, Dean."
"You should go for it, man, she's been eyeing you up too!" the older brother encouraged, tilting his bottle towards Sam.
"We were gonna leave tonight, I sh-"
"Sam, go for it. At least one of us is getting laid tonight."
When the younger Winchester opened his mouth to speak again, Dean simply cut right over him. "No. Go, go now. Just do it." and shoo'd him away, watching as his gangly brother went over to the woman, probably pulling out the puppy eyes and who-knew-what-else.
Dean's smirk turned into a fond smile as he drank some more of his beer.
Casting a look around the fairly crowded bar, the hunter failed to notice anyone who caught his own eye.
He wasn't looking for a trenchcoat anymore, or a head of hair that already looked as if it had taken a roll in the hay, but he still didn't see anybody.
Not that his libido wasn't there - God, no! - it was just that nobody ever held his attention, not for long anyway. He could still charm someone into giving them the information they needed, but he could never take it further than that. It just felt... wrong.
Dean had stopped comparing people to Him, but that didn't mean he was ready to fully let go. Not yet.
~x~x~x~
Before Dean knew it, it was coming up to Christmas again.
Lights winked and twinkled at him as he drove through the quiet streets on his way to the Bunker.
The sky was clouded over but the lights from the town gave everything a slight orange tinge. However, as Dean left the lights behind him, the sky became inky black and the trees creaked in the icy wind that promised snow before the week was out.
"Dean? Did you remember the extra tinsel?" Charlie called from where she was hanging baubles on a Christmas tree in the War Room.
"Yeah, I got it; red, gold and green."
"Your queen is pleased with your work." she grinned, grabbing one of the plastic bags and removing the long, sparkling strands.
Everyone in the Bunker had agreed to actually try with Christmas this year; Sam was determined to perfect eggnog (and insisted that Dean try it, even though the older brother would rather to just drink the alcohol straight) while Charlie and Garth were attempting to make the Bunker look like Santa's grotto.
Kevin hadn't actively taken part in the decorating, instead curling up with one of the books on his college reading list or something found in the depths of the library, but when he was needed he did still help.
It was the eighteenth and Jody and Donna had called the day before to say they should be there for Christmas Day; Sam had then put Dean in charge of their presents causing the elder Winchester to freak, not that he'd admit it, because what do you even get sheriffs? He couldn't even buy for his brother!
Dean was just placing the star on top of the tree - Charlie couldn't reach so, therefore, it became Dean's job - when there was a knock on the Bunker door.
Sam stuck his head out of the kitchen, throwing his brother a questioning look. "I thought Jody and Donna weren't getting here until tomorrow at the earliest?"
"That's what they said." Dean said, picking up his gun on the way to the door.
"Who could it be then?" Garth asked, his voice lowered. Even Kevin was peering up from his latest book that was open before him on the library table.
Dean shrugged, cocked his gun and opened the door quickly, raising the fire arm to chest height.
"Cas?!"
~x~x~x~
Three hours later and Dean was still staring and pinching himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
Despite not waking up when his chewed nails dug into his skin, he still didn't want to believe Castiel was really there, just in case he did wake up.
"Just... Just run it by me, one more time." Sam was grinning from where he sat on the edge if the sofa next to Cas.
The residents of the Bunker (plus the Angel, whom Dean had always thought as living in the old Men of Letters' headquarters even if he hadn't been there at all) were all in the living room. Cas sat on the left side of the centre sofa with Charlie next to him, Sam on his other side and sitting on the arm of the couch. Kevin and Garth were on the other sofa; Garth looked at the Angel with wide eyes and part curiosity, part awe held in his gaze; Kevin, meanwhile, seemed to remember his last encounter with Castiel and, while he seemed fairly happy about the Seraph's return, he also appeared wary.
Dean, however, was leaning against the door frame, watching the scene from afar. He didn't want to get too close. He couldn't. It would kill him when he finally stumbled back into consciousness.
Castiel gave Sam a small smile before telling him again what had happened. "When the Angels returned to Heaven, myself and Metatron included, there was... It was almost war, factions attempted to take Heaven for their own and many have fallen because of it. Bartholomew and Naomi stood against Malachi, mainly. Both were willing slaughter en masse in order to gain control."
After a small pause, he continued. "I was... captured, at one point, with no form of trial, I was sentenced to death for my 'crimes'. It was lucky that Hannah helped me to escape and together we built our own side; one that wanted free will and a peaceful Heaven, a democracy like Heaven had never seen before.
"There were years of fighting and many have died, more than those who were lost during the Apocalypse, or in the war with Raphael or..." Castiel gulped. "Or when I opened Purgatory.
"Now, however, we have finally established a Council, of sorts; there are twelve elected representatives, of which I am one, who deal with the most pressing matters of Heaven."
Sam blinked a few times, his mouth hanging open slightly. "I just can't believe it, Cas, I mean- Just- You're here."
Dean heard Castiel huff a small laugh and could just imagine the small smile that would tug at his lips as his head dipped forward, how his eyes would light up despite how poker-faced the rest of him was. "Yes, I am struggling to believe it too."
The elder brother bit back his retort of 'yeah, you're not the only one.' and, instead, went back into the main foyer-like area of the Bunker.
He could hear a laugh echo towards him from the living room and fought the urge to go back; they'd be fine without him.
Castiel's trenchcoat hung on one of the pegs to the left of the staircase, even the tan colour seemed bright to Dean now. Of all the situations Dean had thought of, everything he'd imagined doing when - if - Cas came back, hiding away hadn't been the one he had thought he'd go for.
But that was the real Castiel in there; Castiel, Angel of the Lord; Member of the Angelic Council or whatever. And Dean was... A drop out, someone with too many Daddy issues, a failure-
"Dean?" Sam's voice cut him from his thoughts.
The elder brother put on a smile before he turned around. "Yeah, Sam?"
"Well, nothing really, I just thought you'd be in there talking to him, you know?" How his gigantor of a brother managed to look that innocent, he'd never know.
"Yeah, I will in a min, Sam; I was just getting a drink." Dean dismissed, wandering towards the kitchen and pulling two beers out of the fridge.
"Thanks." Sam murmured, uncapping the bottle passed to him. "It's just... weird!" he grinned. "I mean, Cas is back and there's the whole Council thing and just-"
"I know, Sam, it's great." but Dean sounded defeated even to his own ears.
Sam frowned at him from where he leant against the table. "Dean, what's wrong? I woulda thought you'd be happy."
"Yeah, of course I am!"
The younger Winchester seemed caught between looking concerned and pulling a bitchface. "Then why are you in here moping instead of being in there with your friend?"
The green eyed man put his beer down and scrubbed a hand over his face. "I don't know, I just-"
Sam's voice had lowered when he asked "Is it about what you, um, said, or-"
Dean's head snapped up and he glared at his brother. "Shut up."
"But, Dean, I-"
"Dammit, Sam, drop it." the older brother hissed.
Sam seemed to lose his patience and kept going. "No, Dean; even if you want to forget what you said or whatever, I don't care. Cas is in there and I can bet that he's missed you; you were probably his first friend so nut up and go and talk to him." Sam sighed. "I heard you praying, okay. I know you've missed him so go and talk to him - you thought you'd never get the chance to, but now you have so go and take it. Just after you left, he was saying how long he's been away... Dean, it's been almost two hundred years for him, time works in Heaven the same as it does in Hell, apparently."
Dean stood staring after Sam's speech. "I... I didn't-"
"You didn't know, yeah, well now you do so just go, okay."
The older Winchester nodded and made his way back to the living room, unsure of whether Sam was following him or not but finding that he didn't really care; the dam had broken and now all he could think was Cas is back.
He walked back into the living room to find Charlie recounting the story of how Garth had pulled a Christmas cracker with Sam the year before and had fallen off of his chair when it broke. Both Kevin and Charlie were laughing and Garth was bright red, protesting that 'it wasn't that funny!.
Dean walked around and sat on the edge of Kevin and Garth's sofa so he could see the small smile on Castiel's face; he had to admit, it was still a little jarring to see the Angel without the trenchcoat or a suit jacket on.
Charlie noticed Dean first and looked up from the armchair, and from underneath the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, almost like a cape. "Oh, hey Dean." she smiled.
Castiel looked up and his smile grew a little wider. "Hello Dean." And if that wasn't just what Dean had wanted to hear for the past nineteen months then he was lying to himself.
"So, according to Sam, only making hot chocolate for myself and not offering to for anyone else is rude or some shit," Dean quickly lied, trying not to stare at the Angel too much. "So does anybody want some?"
Charlie grinned. "Ooh, me! Cas, you have got to try Dean's hot chocolate; he has been blessed to only produce amazing cocoa, I'm telling you." the redhead chatted as if they were old friends.
Castiel nodded once. "Then I guess I will try some, if it is no problem."
"Nah, it's no problem." Dean grinned. Damn, why had he been running from this? "Anyone else?"
Kevin and Garth both said that they wanted some too just as Sam walked in.
"Hot chocolate? Count me in too, Dean."
"Nah, you can make your own, Samsquatch." the elder brother smirked.
"What? Why does everyone get some but me?"
"I like everyone else, that's why."
"You're such a dick!" Sam shouted after him and Dean laughed properly and freely for the first time in what felt like ages.
~x~x~x~
Dean had been right; Cas did ask why it needed chocolate sprinkles when it was already a 'chocolate based drink, regardless of its temperature'.
When Dean told him just to try it, he'd conceded that it tasted good but had managed to get cream stuck to his top lip in the process which seemed to be endlessly amusing to Charlie.
Dean, however, had simply found it distracting, especially when Cas ran his tongue across his lip in order to remove the cream; he wanted to chase the taste of it into Cas' mouth with his own tongue but he shut down those thoughts right then and there. There was no time for stupid fantasies.
The six of them were still awake at around eleven that night - watching some awful Christmas special of a show Dean didn't recognise - and it was Sam who finally addressed the elephant in the room.
"So, um, Cas, are you staying for Christmas or was this just a flying visit?" Sam asked and Dean tried not to seem too tense in anticipation for the answer.
Castiel tilted his head to the side as if both considering his answer and listening to something.
"I believe it will be safe for me to stay." he said after a moment. "If that is okay, of course."
Dean almost laughed at how ridiculous that was, because of course he could stay! There was a room ready and everything, Dean had made sure of that.
"I've got no problem with you staying." Sam assured him.
"Cas, of course you can stay." Dean quickly assured him, almost challenging anyone to say otherwise but nobody did, instead they were all happy that he was staying. "That's settled, I'll make up a room." the hunter told him with a small smile, clapping Cas on the shoulder as he stood.
Sam gave him an odd look that Dean read clearly as Dean, we both know there's already room for him and the older brother responded with a shrug before walking out.
The room was exactly as Dean had left it; the bed was made, an extra pillow in case Cas was uncomfortable, emergency clothes in the drawers and a silver knife on one of the bed side tables, just as a precaution because you could never be too paranoid, or so Dean thought anyway.
There was a little dust on the surfaces and nothing to show that the room belong to anyone (unlike Dean's with its photos and old guns; Charlie's with her odd cosplays and gaming consoles; half of the library had apparently permanently moved into Kevin's room) but it wouldn't remain bleak for long, not if Dean could help it.
He quickly smoothed the bedspread, used his over shirt to get rid of most of the dust and simply hoped that it would be okay.
As Dean showed Cas his room, the Angel had smiled a little and said 'Technically, I don't need to sleep, Dean' but the other man had brushed him off with 'After two hundred years of fighting, like Hell you don't need sleep. And with how Donna and Charlie do Christmas, you'll need every chance to rest you can get'.
Castiel's head tilted. "Donna?"
"Shit, yeah, you haven't met Donna! And you'll meet Jody too; man, you're gonna have a great Christmas. Promise."
Cas considered him for a moment. "I- Thank you, Dean."
"No need to thank me; it's what family's for." Dean grinned at him. "Anyway, if you need anything, I'm right next door. Night, Cas."
And this time, after so many, there was a response. "Goodnight, Dean."
~x~x~x~
Jody and Donna arrived on the twenty first and both greeted Castiel with warm smiles.
"So you're the Angel that Winchester-mini has been mooning over." Jody smirked, pulling the Angel into a hug which he returned somewhat awkwardly.
Dean felt his face flush and he spluttered -much to Sam's amusement - "I- I don't know what you're- I never- Jody!" he finally hissed which caused everybody to laugh.
"Ah, now, she's just teasing." Donna smiled, pulling off her woolly mittens so she could shake Cas' hand. "I'm Donna and I guess you're Castiel. The way they were all talking last year I thought I'd never get to meet one of y'all but, well, here you are!"
"I- Yes, for a while I thought I may never return to Earth but I'm glad I am back." the Angel said as Donna let go of her hand.
"And I'm sure we're all just as glad, even if it is just to stop Dean's moping." she stage-whispered the last part with a wink and the older brother threw his hands up in the air.
"I give up, Christmas in cancelled, get out."
"Oh, lighten up, Dean." Sam huffed, punching his shoulder. "Stop being such a Grinch."
"I'm not a Grinch, you're a... Grinch, shut up." Dean snapped, glaring at his brother who just laughed.
The elder hunter couldn't bring himself to care, however, because Cas was smiling and, to him, it was brighter than all the lights on their Christmas tree.
~x~x~x~
"Sam! What the fuck is this?!" Dean hollered, glaring at the mistletoe that hung in the doorway to the library as if it had personally offended him.
Sam skidded to a halt at the other end of the library, almost losing his balance on his socked-feet and dressed in only a thin T-shirt and grey sweatpants. "What? What's what?"
Dean gritted his teeth and and simply pointed up, glare never leaving his face but instead settled it on his brother.
"Mistletoe." the younger brother said simply.
"Yes, I noticed,"Dean sneered shortly. "But why?"
Sam started to fuss with his hands a little then. "Well, it was kinda Charlie's idea but it sounded good so, we were thinking, if we could, maybe and if you're okay with it, I me-"
"Get to the point, Sam!"
"We were gonna get you and Cas under it." Sam blurted.
Dean stared, eyes wide and mouth open slightly. "You what?"
"It was a far fetched plan but we thought, maybe, if we could get you under the mistletoe then..."
"Then what? Everything would be sunshine, happiness, and sparkly rainbows? Is that it?" the elder hunter fumed.
"It was only a thought, Dean." Sam was trying to pull of the puppy eyes that, in any other case, would have made his brother crumble. "We didn't mean to-"
"Mean to what, Sam? Cause right now, all you're doing with that damn plant is making everything real fucking complicated."
Sam sighed. "Dean-"
"Stop it, just get that thing down from there." Dean snapped, turning away from the library but Sam called after him.
"You haven't seen the way he looks at you, you know."
The green eyed man whirled around. "What?" He felt like he was asking that far too much for just one morning.
Sam was wearing the beginnings of a bitchface as he continued "He looks at you like you're his entire world, not anyone else, you."
Dean's eyes narrowed. "Sam, why the Hell would he look at me like that?" Surely his brother was just cruelly teasing him now; there was no way that Castiel would look at him like anything, maybe a friend if he was lucky but the Angel knew everything. Not even Sam knew everything about what he'd done in his life and he didn't need to; some stuff you just didn't tell your younger brother.
"I don't know, Dean," Sam bitched, walking towards his brother. "Maybe cause he pulled you from Hell? Disobeyed and Fell for you? Died trying to keep you safe?"
"That wasn't just for me, that was for-"
"No, Dean, it was for you, why can't you just accept that?"
Dean looked away as he muttered "Cause I'm not worth any of it."
"What?" Sam asked, clearly not having heard him.
"Cause I'm not worth any of it!" Dean shouted, facing his younger sibling again. "It can't be for me because what would he see in me?! I'm a drop out, I can't do shit other than get people killed who I l- care about, and I'm just not worth it, okay?! He's literally older than dirt and I'm just one tiny human on a planet in the middle of fucking nowhere; so why am I worth it, Sam?"
Now it was the younger brother who stared. "Dean, I-"
"Okay, Sam, just... whatever." Dean sighed, all his energy drained from the argument. With one last glare at the mistletoe, he stalked from the library back to his room and the, now very appealing, bottle of whiskey he had under his bed in case of emergencies.
~x~x~x~
Whether Sam had said something or not, Dean didn't know but nobody bothered him the rest of the day so it was morning of the twenty third when the elder hunter ventured back into the main body of the Bunker, in search of aspirin because, damn, his head really freaking hurt. In hindsight, maybe drinking the entire bottle and eating nothing hadn't been a good idea after all.
Cas was in the kitchen when Dean got there, nursing a mug of coffee in his hands and looking half asleep where he sat at the table. He was dressed simply in a dark blue T-shirt and a pair of flannel pyjama bottoms.
"Good morning, Dean." he murmured, downing some of the coffee afterwards and Dean set about pouring his own cup.
The hunter couldn't help but smile at how Cas looked; clearly, he wasn't a morning person.
"Whatever happened to not needing sleep?" he teased.
"I don't need to, I chose to, and apparently both my Grace and my body to not wish to wake up properly." Castiel sounded grouchy and Dean didn't find it cute. Nope. Not at all.
"You're just not a morning person, Cas; most normal people aren't." Dean stressed as Sam entered the kitchen, still in his jogging clothes.
Sam scowled. "What're you trying to say, Dean?" he asked, dropping into the seat across from Cas.
"That normal people don't go jogging or whatever in the morning; it's not natural, Sam."
"Whatever, Dean. Jerk." Sam muttered.
"Bitch." the older brother huffed automatically just as Charlie and Garth entered the kitchen.
"Are you cooking breakfast, Dean?" Charlie asked, hopping onto the counter next to him, swinging her legs whilst Garth sat down to the right of Sam.
"What? No! You can all make your own damn breakfast!" Dean snapped, lowering some bacon onto the grill.
"But you do good bacon!" Charlie pouted. "And I don't trust Sam after last time."
"What happened?" Cas asked, seeming a little more awake.
"It wasn't that bad." Sam blushed.
"None of the bacon was edible! You disgraced your queen!" Charlie cried, pointing at the hunter dramatically.
"Sam; it wasn't bad, it was atrocious." Garth told him with a poker face that made everyone else laugh while Sam simply grumbled a little.
"You're all too awake." Jody complained, walking in and heading straight for the coffee machine, Donna coming in just behind her and going to sit on Castiel's left.
"Don't be such a sour puss, Jody." Charlie grinned from Dean's left as he scrambled eggs. He guessed he was making breakfast after all.
"Ha ha." was all the sheriff said, sitting on Garth's right.
"I, personally, think mornings are great, it's just waking up that's the hard part." Donna said thoughtfully to which Garth nodded.
"Hey, d'you guys know an, um... Aaron Bass?" Kevin asked, poking his head around the door frame.
"Wasn't he your gay thing?" Sam smirked and the older brother through the dish cloth at him.
"Shut up. Yeah, we know him, Kev, why? What's up?" Dean asked, putting a second load of bread in the toaster; he felt like he was cooking for an army.
"Nothing, I don't think anyway, it's just there was a red light flashing in the War Room and apparently he'd left you guys a message saying Merry Christmas, said he got the number from an old book of his grandfather's or something."
The older Winchester blinked in surprise, after all, it had, essentially, been a couple of years since they'd heard from him. "Huh, we'll have to get back to him at some point, see how he's doing."
"Yeah, I wonder where he is now." Sam trailed off, eyes glazing as he thought until he snapped back to the present. "Anyway, Kev, are you having breakfast with us or...?"
The Prophet looked wary as he fully rounded the door. "You're not doing the bacon are you?"
"It wasn't that bad!" Sam exclaimed as everyone laughed, even Cas was chuckling a little.
Kevin sat in the last seat at the far end of the table, across from Jody, and joined the animate discussion between Sam and Garth about how bad the Winchester's cooking actually was.
"Be helpful and take these over." Dean turned to Charlie, handing her a plate stacked with toast and one stack of just plates.
The two made several journeys before all of the food had been moved onto the table and everyone had a cup of coffee.
Charlie then took the seat next to Sam leaving the last seat for Dean. Next to Cas. The redhead wiggled her eyebrows at him as he sat down, elbows already brushing with the Angel's due to how they were all relatively squished around the table.
Dean glared at her a little but she was already talking to Kevin about something... techy, from what the hunter could understand.
He'd never pegged himself as one who would - could - settle into a somewhat domestic routine, but Dean found that he liked it. He liked sitting around their too-small table with everyone smiling and getting on and no immediate threat of an Apocalypse hanging over their heads. It was... nice, simple, in a way that his life hadn't been in a long time.
"You do make good bacon." Cas finally told him.
"Dude, have you ever even had bacon before?" Dean asked.
A small hesitation. "No, but I believe that this is still better than others could prepare."
"Well then thanks, I think." The elder Winchester narrowed his eyes a little as he thought it over. He finally decided that, yeah, it was a compliment.
"Wait until you try his pie." Donna nudged Cas and gave him a lazy wink.
The Angel smiled back a little. "I look forward to it."
~x~x~x~
But of course, Dean couldn't have a nice Christmas. It was simply impossible, apparently, because it was Christmas Eve when shit truly hit the fan.
The mistletoe had made its reappearance; but not just in the library, no, now It was by the living room, towards the bedrooms, even by the damn garage.
Dean was thoroughly prepared to salt and burn the entire Bunker just to be rid of the stupid plant.
When he'd contented Sam and Charlie about it, he'd only gotten 'It's just a bit of fun' and 'It's a Christmas tradition!' before they were interrupted, lo and behold, by Castiel asking why there was mistletoe. The elder brother left then, leaving Dumb and Dumber to explain.
So for the entire morning, Dean was watching the ceiling more than where he was going; he was determined not to get caught under it. Even he knew, however, that that could only last for so long.
Sam had just called his brother into the library because 'Hey, can you make any sense of this?' but, as he rounded the corner, he found Cas holding a stack of books.
The elder hunter stopped to ask why, forgetting about the mistletoe, but never managed to get out a question as the Angel leaned over the tower of books he held and kissed him softly.
Before Dean could respond - his brain going haywire about how Castiel felt so close; his lips were chapped but warm and soft, the books were pressed between them but Dean didn't feel any pain from where they dug into his collarbone slightly - it was over and the Seraph was pulling back and saying 'Happy Christmas' like he hadn't just destroyed all of Dean's higher functioning brain cells.
"What?" was all the green eyed man managed to force out, trying not to lean in towards the Angel.
Castiel looked up pointedly. "Mistletoe; Charlie informed me that if two people are under it then they are supposed to kiss."
Dean looked up and, yup; there was a branch or the stupid plant, right above them both. "Yeah. Yeah, it's some weird tradition... thing, yeah." The hunter stumbled, trying to stop the blush he was sure was spreading across his cheeks and his neck.
The Angel 'hmm'd in that way he had of saying 'humans are so weird with traditions; weird small things, all of you' without actually saying it, before Charlie's voice sounded from behind one of the bookcases; shouting for Cas to come help her with something.
As Castiel walked away, Dean didn't know whether he wanted to follow him and drag him back under the mistletoe or try to rewind time and stop it from ever happening. It certainly didn't help that Sam was sitting at one of the far tables smirking at him, as if he had done Dean a huge favour.
The older brother dropped into a chair next to him and hissed "What the fuck are you trying to do here?"
Sam looked like Dean had slapped him. "I was just-"
"I swear to God, Sam, if you say 'helping' I'm gonna kick your ass."
"But Dean-"
"No, Sam, stop it; you'll only make things weird and awkward and Cas'll think he's making it weird so just stop."
"Dean, no; I won't stop because I want to see you happy! And if you just looked, you'd see that he has mushy, Angelic feelings about you too." The younger brother was pulling a bitchface and Dean thought it looked like, if he tried any harder, he might pull a muscle.
Dean sighed; he just couldn't be bothered to put up with any more nonsense. He knew where Cas stood with him, and it was no where near what Dean wanted. "Whatever, Sam, just... whatever."
~x~ x~x~
But as the day progressed, everything just seemed to get worse: Charlie 'accidentally' knocked Dean over but luckily Cas was there to catch him; Sam just happened to bump into Castiel as he was about to drink something, causing it, instead, to spill over the Angel's T-shirt which then clung to his body far too snuggly for Dean's comfort; not to mention how they both just seemed to be helping people with odd things and get caught under mistletoe-infested doorways.
By the evening, Dean had taken to not leaving his room (no he was not hiding/sulking, thank you very much - or so he thought) and, instead, listening to an old Metallica cassette through his headphones; which also explained why he didn't hear the soft knock at his door. Instead, he only noticed when Castiel started to push the door open and pop his head around.
The elder Winchester took off his headphones and sat up. "What's up, Cas?"
Castiel seemed almost nervous as he entered the room, closing the door with a soft click behind him. "It just seemed that..." he trailed off as if he couldn't find the words and was annoyed with himself about it.
The hunter moved to sit on the end of the bed and gestured for Cas to sit next to him.
The Angel seemed to consider what to say, after sitting down, before finally settling on "Have I done something to make you feel uncomfortable, Dean?"
Said man blanched a little. "What? No! No, of course not. Why would you think that?"
Castiel looked at him then, with eyes that seemed far too old for how he appeared and with an intensity Dean couldn't describe. "You seem to be avoiding me, and everyone else, and I was just thinking it might to be because of the mistletoe."
Dean wanted to say that it was anything but the mistletoe, that the hunter secretly crazed getting 'stuck' under the plant together. "What, no! I was just, I'm, tired, I guess."
Cas' mouth twitched into a small smile then. "I'm glad you are not uncomfortable." He then huffed a little, something that could have been laugh. "The mistletoe was actually the opposite for m-" he seemed to realise what he was saying and stood quickly, his eyes wide. "I'm sorry, I'll just go-"
"No, wait!" Dean immediately grabbed the other man's arm; looked like it was sharing and caring time, there was. No getting away from it anymore. "What d'you mean?"
Castiel swallowed thickly, trying to avoid Dean's gaze. "My... feelings, for you, are not entirely..." he stopped then as if trying to postpone what he was saying for as long as possible. The hunter knew Cas could easily overpower him so he was there by choice, Dean took that as a good sign. "They're not platonic, anymore." He finished quietly.
Dean was dreaming. That was the only possible explanation. Castiel was still talking, something about leaving or being sorry or something, but it just wasn't registering. Next thing the hunter knew, he'd cupped Cas' jaw and was shushing him with a gentle kiss; no movement, just a soft press which Cas tried to talk through at first before his hands settled on Dean's arms in an attempt to pull him closer.
"Dean...?" Cas asked, not leaning far enough away to talk properly so the words were spoken against the hunter's mouth.
"I guess you could say that I don't exactly feel 'platonic' about you either." Dean murmured back, trying his best to look at the Angel despite the odd angle. "Although I'd probably say it was more like 'I tried to suppress everything until it slapped me 'round the head'."
The Winchester felt Cas' smile more than he saw it. "Yes, that does sound like you."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Dean griped, biting the Seraph's bottom lip lightly which, in turn, pulled a happy hum from the other man.
"If it reassures you, it took me almost killing you to realise why exactly I felt different towards you than others."
Dean pulled back slightly. "The crypt?"
Castiel nodded, still not letting go of Dean's arms. "I knew I considered you my friend - or what some may call 'best friend', I suppose - and the other Angels seemed to know this; perhaps they knew how I really felt even before I did but it wasn't until the crypt that I understood for myself. I guess that is also one of the reasons I ran; what was I supposed to do, after all?"
Dean put their foreheads together. "I didn't clue in 'til Purgatory, by that lake. But we've made it now. Fuck knows how." And that managed to draw a small laugh from Cas.
"I suppose you could say we make, ah, 'quite the pair'."
Dean snorted. "Yeah we do, Cas. Yeah we do."
~x~x~x~
Castiel spent that night in Dean's room, Sam knew because when he went to wake up his brother - because hello! Christmas! - he found the Angel curled around his brother in the bed with Dean holding onto the Angel like his life depended on it.
Neither of them stirred so Sam shut the door and went with waking them up by banging on it obnoxiously. "Dean! Come on, you've gotta get up this morning; it's Christmas! No getting out of it, jerk!"
And because he is, in fact, the best little brother in the world, he doesn't wait for Dean to open the door and have to try and explain Cas curled up in his bed. Instead, he heads into the War Room where everyone else is already waiting and nods once at Charlie.
"Are you being serious right now?" she almost squeals.
"Yup, no idea how it happened but they were both asleep in Dean's room." Sam told her, sitting down next to her on the sofa they'd pushed through so they could keep the presents under the tree.
Everyone else was smiling and Donna was saying something about how she was glad they'd worked everything out but the redhead seemed quite animated about it.
She did a small fist pump, a smile on her face. "It's canon!"
Sam grinned at her and how she was far too enthusiastic about his brother's love life. "'Canon'?"
"Yeah, it's when two people, or characters, are in a-"
"Merry Christmas!" Donna suddenly said over them, shooting them a look that clearly said Dean and Cas were behind them.
Sam looked over his shoulder to find Dean looking slightly edgy and Castiel looking tired (and dressed all in Dean's clothes).
"Couldn't we have rescheduled Christmas morning for this afternoon?" Dean yawns. dropping to the floor to Charlie's right.
"No, your queen wants her present and she demands your presence for when she opens it." Charlie huffed with a smile, nudging Dean with her foot.
The elder Winchester made a small grunting noise before Cas settled in next to him, head on his shoulder and they both seemed to doze from then on; half asleep and looking content.
Sam even held his tongue with the teasing; he could do that, at least for one day, after all, there'd be plenty more opportunities to come.
~x~x~x~
The brothers were washing up when Dean finally tried to admit his big gay love for the whipped Angel.
"So, um, you know the whole mistletoe plan thing you and Charlie were doing?" Dean had started, staring down into the dish water.
Sam held back a smirk. "Yeah?"
Dean coughed and shrugged a little. "I mean, I guess you could say it, ah, worked and-"
"It's okay, Dean, I already know. So does everyone else and, honestly, we're all just glad you got your head out of your ass; there's only so much kicked-puppy-you people can take." The younger hunter assured him, smiling a little too. "Although, it is fun gearing you explain it, do carry on."
Dean punched him in the arm but looked relieved, scowling as Sam laughed at him anyway. "How do you even know, bitch?"
"What, despite the PDAs this morning, jerk? I came in to wake you both up but accidentally walked in on a cuddle session."
The older brother blushed then. "Yeah, well..."
"But it doesn't matter, Dean, because you're happy." And Sam knew he was, just from how he was acting; so much lighter and freer than he had seen him in years.
"Yeah, Sam, I guess I am." he admitted, thinking of Cas but also the family they'd built, the one he was sharing Christmas with in their Bunker and Dean knew that he'd never let any of them go.
A/N: So, this can be perceived as the end but there is another part currently being written that is pretty much just all shameless smut.
This was beta'd by infinitejellybean, whom I would probably die without.
I hope you all have a great Christmas with cheesy films, bad Christmas cracker jokes and tacky jumpers as well as a happy New Year! (。⌒∇⌒)。
This is also posting on my AO3 under the same name.
My tumblr is bakura-reads-yaoi, come say hi!