Steven stepped in the delicatessen,his eyes went towards his ex husband Douglass Carter,who without noticing his presence was in a clinch with one of the people he dislikes,John-Paul McQueen. As soon as he caught onto him he pulled away,slightly embarrassed he caught him doing that.
"Ste, hey er, we were just er,how are you doing?" Doug asked sympathetically.
An awkward silence filled the air,Steven just lost the love of his life,on what was supposed to be one of the most happiest days of his life,seeing two people kissing was just a reminder of what he will never be able to endure with the man who was suppose to be with him now. The man who was taken away from him in such a cruel fashion. Shot dead outside the church he was,Steven can remember the people screaming outside,he can remember running out and leaping to the floor. His arms wrapped around Brendan Brady's corpse,his cries when the doctor told him the time of death,6:15. He will always remember that time 6:15. 6:15 his life changed for forever.
"I`m fine" is all Steven said, in a weak voice.
He was far from fine,he was the complete opposite of fine. His hatred for the man who took the life of Brendan,took over,he wanted him dead,he wanted to beat him to a pulp,watch him slowly suffer,and then make him watch himself die in the mirror;however something was metaphorically ringing in his ear. One word was eating him up,if he carried on this revenge attack on Simon Walker. How can you say its justice when the reason Simon killed Brendan was the same as Stevens reason for wanting him dead,where's the justice in that? No, it's not justice its revenge. The word Steven was thinking of was hypocrite, it was a word that described it if he went through with it. You cannot classify killing someone who killed somebody for the same reasons as you. It would not go down in any court,nor would any court agree with your defense.
"Look I need to go" Steven finally says,after thinking about the consequences if he proceeded this unjustifiable act. Naturally he wants him dead. He turned around to see a familiar,yet unwanted face. It was Kevin Foster. Steven was shocked and disgusted to see his face.
Steven was quivering as words cannot describe his disgust and rage at having to witness the sight of his face.
'Why?" is all that was spoken from Stevens trembling lips.
Kevin was completely frozen to the ground, speechless himself. In his head,Kevin played this scenario over and over. He was almost determined to go in there and tell him the two simple words, I`m sorry; however now he has to come face to face physically with him,he could not bring himself to speak or move. Kevin stepped back,his hand wrapping around the door handle,as it creaked open,he turned around. His legs dragging him away, he heard footsteps behind himself.
"I asked you a question" he heard the grieving man snarl at him,yet he sounded so weak.
Kevin turned around to him.
"I was not the one who killed him" Kevin spoke,it sounded so cruel and so childish. Childish because when children say I was not the one who did this,or that. They really mean, I just helped.
"You may as well of done" Steven replied,his voice sounding more serious. His tone made Kevin very nervous,he sounded like he was going to turn up the volume in his voice anytime now.
"Walker he beat me up" Kevin admitted,not like that would make any difference to this peculiar situation.
"My heart bleeds for you" Steven replied,with a hint of sarcasm.
"Listen,If I knew things were going to go this far,I never would have done it" Kevin was cut of,by Steven who cannot hold his anger in any longer.
"But you did! You did do it!" Steven yelled,furious that Kevin is trying to defend his own actions. You cannot justify lying about your uncle sexually abusing you to somebody who actually went through the brutal ordeal. You cannot justify lying about being raped,when you clearly know you didn't. Its appalling and Kevin knows it.
"I'm sorry" Kevin finally said the thing he came to say,he didn't know what else he could say.
"Your sorry! Is that all you can say!" Steven yelled again,this time pushing Kevin back,making him fall on the floor,his hands stopping him from falling completely over.
"I deserved that" Kevin said,as he stood up. Steven nodded,agreeing with him for the first time,and it will likely be the last.
"Where is he?" Steven asked, referring to Simon Walker. Revenge returned to his mind,when he pushed Kevin it made him feel better. Watching him suffer,for about ten seconds. He almost craves the thought of watching Simon suffer,his conciseness may not be able to take it however he still wishes to undertake the grilling task of killing Simon. His ugly head reared once again. One thing was on his mind, would he be able to go through with it?
He doubt he will be able to complete it,he might let him go because of his morals. Not only that but Leah and Lucas need their father in their life. Killing Simon means going to prison,Ste does not know whether he could deal with not seeing his daughter and son growing up. He will never be able to see their achievements first hand,never be able to meet their partners when they grow up,never seeing them get married,not seeing his grandchildren when there all grown up. His children might grow up hating him for leaving them. They wont even remember uncle Brendan,so they wont care about his reasons for being inside,they just see him as a good for nothing. Steven could not live with them thinking that.
"Never mind" Steven says,as tears fell down his cheek. He turned around,walking towards the club. Kevin watching him in confusion, his heart starts beating up rapidly like a drum being banged every second. He walked of,he was not going to willingly step back into this village,like many others it brought out the worst in him.
Steven opened the door to the club,as all memories surrounded it. The muffled dance music,the mindless chatter of the drunk customers along with their drunken laughter. A noise of breaking glass,even the sound of footsteps brought Steven right back to when he first kissed Brendan Brady. The smell of sweat and aftershave came of Brendan's toned body.
Steven stepped closer up the club stairs,tears swelling up his eyes. Killing Simon wont bring Brendan back,so he dismissed the revenge. For his children, and deep down for himself. He was not the murdering type,nor was he was going to risk everything just to be satisfied for an hour. He climbed up the stairs,to an empty club. He cant help but smile with tears when he lays eyes upon Brendan's grey blazer,which is laid across the bar. Brendan's scent is still coming from it,making Steven burst out in audible tears;as he breaks down with his back against the bar. His hand grabbing the blazer,his nose inhales the smell. For Steven now it was the best smell in the world,he closed his eyes.
His head going against the bar,the blazer being held onto tight as he tried to imagine that Brendan was here besides him. He felt a hand lock in his;however he was not afraid. As the hand moved up,putting its fingers through his dirty blonde colored hair. Stevens lips shook his name.
"Brendan"
The soft facial hair,went on his soft lips. Steven still with his eyes shut tight,he knew if he opened them,he be gone. The kiss was fragile and light; The kiss broke of after around three minutes,which seemed much longer.
"Brendan"
Steven still with his eyes shut,the feeling disappeared as unexpectedly as it appeared. He opened his eyes,to find it was just him in the room. He looked down,he was still holding tightly onto the grey colored blazer. He pulled himself up, feeling goosebumps on his arms after that strange,yet captivating moment. Brendan was still here with him,his presence was now lingering across the place which is used for late night entertainment. Steven walked down the stairs,not sure of what just happened.
He looked back,before walking moved out,shutting the door behind himself. He looked to his sides,half expecting to see Brendan. It was Brendan who just done that,nobody else could make him feel this.
"Brendan"
Steven could no help it,he felt himself craving for that moment even looked around.
"Brendan"
He spoke his name once again,Diane O Connor and Jen Gilmore looked over. All they saw was him saying his dead husbands name.
"Oh my God" Jen muttered in Diane's ear.
"Poor thing,he is going crazy without him;I don't think I ever meet anyone who I love as much as that" Diane replied,in a quite tone.
"Go and ask if he is alright" Jen told her,as they stopped.
"You do it" Diane whispered back.
"Go on" Diane added,pushing her a little.
"Hey,are you okay?" Jen asked cheerfully,Diane looking over with her eagle like eyes.
"Yeah" Steven replied simply.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Yeah" Steven repeated.
"Alright,well I`m going to get going,if you need to talk then you know where to find me yeah" she said,before retreating back to Diane.
"Well?" Diane asked.
"He said he was fine,but anyone who speaks to their dead husband is not fine" Jen hissed.