June kicked open her front door, screaming," Honey! The men in white coats are here!' She threw herself down onto a ragged, sagging couch and stretched lazily while the little chihuahua (chi-hooa-hooa?) yapped at her, shaking in fury.
" You spent eight hours in that house and you couldn't get the Dib-boy alone for ONE SECOND?!?!?"
June tilted her head and mewed, " But I was playin' Vampire Piggies 4! And I vanquished the fourth-best gamer in the entire world!"
The ratty-looking dog yelped back," What good is that going to do for our plan?!"
June looked puzzled. " Our plan...oh yeah!!! Oops...well, I did manage to do that one thing, that alien kid thing..."
The dog gave a questioning look, then shook its ugly little head and sighed. " That'll do for now, I guess..."
The girl's dark eyes looked around the room, searching for the question she had lost at the tip of her tongue; when she found it, she asked, " Can you make me smart again? I used a bunch of that..."
June (who had the strangest feeling that she was Junk) felt the blockage in her brain expand. " That dookie stuff that make...things...uh..."
Several minutes passed before she finally finished her thought. " I grew him taller with..."
The dog glared at her and spat venomously, " As punishment for your failure, you can suffer the disease of your humanity for the rest of the night!"
June began to protest. " But, but, but..." But then the dog hopped on the couch, and pressed the power button of a tv remote. As the screen burst into an explosion of mind-numbing light, June became silent, hypnotized by the dancing gorillas that romped there. Madness curled up against its puppet as she babbled mindlessly to herself, "Silly monkeys."
Yes...gorge yourself upon the idiocies of the world, my pet, for tomorrow will bring us one step closer to the total destruction of all you hold dear...
Junk woke up in a strange house. The TV was on and they were showing a Silly Monkeys marathon! Oh, meatcakes!
Aww, look at the little doggy, it's so ugly! 3
" Hey little doggy, wanna watch me BEAT SOME MEAT?!?!" She dug around her pockets and pulled out her lucky steel mallet with spikes. Ground meat stuck to the points, and it smelled...flavorful, to put it politely.
" I'm the best! Number one meat tenderizer in the nation, yessir! Won, ummm..." Junk counted absent-mindedly on four fingers. " Seven competishuns!"
The little chi-hooa-hooa didn't seem too impressed by this. Junk was about to try to think of a good joke to make it happy, but it began to lick her hand.
Junk reeled in her seat. She started seeing double, and instead of the little rat dog, a hideous monster hid its face in shadow. Her head hurt. She was afraid. She felt cold, felt like something was taking her soul and peeling its skin off with a knife. Just before a cry of pain could escape her lips, a sudden calm washed over her like a clean river.
And then there was light, and she felt well.
June glared at her little master, " Would you STOP making it hurt so much when you do that?"
Madness let out a wheezy laugh. " Welcome back, June. You have work to do."
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Zim jolted awake, flailing his arm wildly. " Augh! Get away! You filthy, dirt-munching-"
He glared at every dark corner, down every hall, and finally his eyes rested on that useless piece of (mighty!) Irken junk that was playing cars with two breakfast taquitos.
" GIR!" Zim barked as he stood up off the ground. His feet seemed to be miles down, and he began to feel dizzy.
" Gir, why didn't you alert me that the base had been intruded upon?" His voice fell steady on his own antennae, perplexing him in its smooth consistency.
" Silly master! It was just me and the monkey, playing shoes!" With an indulgently satisfied grin, the little robot nodded, then ran away in fits of squeals and laughter.
" Useless," Zim mutter under his breath, " absolutely...Computer! Give me a log of any security malfunctions in the last 24 hours."
But the computer did not respond.
" Computer?"
" Computer!"
" Computer! Computer! Computer!"
Zim scowled at the sound of his voice and how normal it sounded. " Compuuuuuuter," he said slowly, but the interval between the unstressed and stressed syllable was far less than a musical fifth.
" Computer?" He felt as if someone had placed a filthy earth cottonball in his mouth, as if the word tasted like clove oil.
" Computer! Computer! Compuuuuter! COM-PU-TER!"
Dumbfounded that the intruder had managed to damage his maniacal howling, Zim plopped down on his couch. " My voice! My beautiful, wretched voice..."
As he hung his head low, Zim misjudged the distance from his leg and kneed himself in the eye. " Oh! Ow!" He gingerly rubbed his injured eye. A small gasp fled from the darkness inside his body. His feet were touching the floor, when normally they would dangle from the edge of the couch. Upon examination of his arms, he found them long and spindly and rather unwieldy.
Zim excitedly ran to the elevator, hitting his head against the top of the doorway as he did so. " I have to repair the base! The Tallest must witness my...my GROWTH SPURT! Muhahahahahaha!"