I finally wrote a second bit! I'm sorry it was such a long time, especially after such an over-whelming response!
I'd like to thank
EmeraldGaze, Asher Knight, SoulSaviour15, Vampire Queen, Otaku Wench
zombie chow, Skyla Doll, Dinny93, I-Eat-My-Vegetables, bellathedisenchanted
Jtoasn, Anime Princess, Shani8, Pghj2005 and illuminazione.
again, sorry for the humungous wait but I hope this is satisfactory!
Don't think I don't notice my second wife because I do. I see her every day whether she realises it or not.
She used to be carefree. She sung quietly off key when she thought no one was watching. She practiced dancing in her rooms to entertain herself before I was to arrive at her rooms for the night. I would watch for a few moments before I entered. During the nights I'd stay with her she used to laugh all the time, laugh at my stories, at my awful jokes but now I only hear her laugh by chance when she is with the children, Tamina, my men or my father.
There were nights when we'd just sit on the roofs we'd run across and talk about everything. With an unguarded expression like a shining light she'd excitedly spill out the best parts of her day, usually revolving around the times she'd ride out by herself or teaching the children. Then she'd ask for stories from my childhood, often exchanging hers with mine. Sometimes I'd tell her stories that I thought she might like from my travels noticing how her expression went from eager to dreamy and her eyes would stare wistfully at the horizon.
Until a few months ago when she suddenly withdrew into herself. She's been distancing herself from me and I do not understand why.
Despite her superior birth and usually quiet demeanour she does not shy away from people beneath her status. Rather, she relished the fact that she was allowed to speak with them and often did so. So we used to organise the fights of my men together. Money seems to be her forte. To begin with I would keep an eye on her when I fought but she encountered no problems and her and Bis seemed to get on exceptionally well.
Now she no longer appears to watch me fight but watches from the arras above the men's quarters where she thinks that I don't notice her, having organised the match with Bis beforehand. They always bet against me and think that I don't realise. They will wait until I have left obviously but I hide in the arras that she uses. She's too innocent to think that I might use her own tricks against her.
We used to run together, across buildings, across Alamut. At first she struggled like any other but her readiness to learn helped her through it and soon we'd be running across the rooftops. Her face expressed all thought of freedom and always ended up red and breathless with her usual beaming smile. For those few moments, on top of the temple at the end of the journey, she forgot I existed and stared towards the horizon again, trying to get her breath back. Running was when she was most unguarded. I'm assuming it still is.
Now when we run, after I've cornered her and coaxed her in to it, she'll disappear when my back is turned only to appear after hours of searching on the rooftop of some library or temple, sometimes even in the same library or temple praying or with the children.
I had once taught her to fight with a sword; I trained her, like I would my men. She was such an eager learner once I had persuaded her from the cocoon she had wrapped herself in due to her old life. I had grown to relish the days where I would teach her to fight, her face would pucker in concentration and a look of surprise would flash across it if she ever achieved something worthy of praise. I liked to teach her, liked having an eager student, as Tamina had already had training, she wasn't the best by any means but she refused to be trained by me.
Now I watch my second wife training with Bis and the boy soldiers of Persia's ever-expanding army, tossing their swords around like some child's toy. She's gotten so skilled that sometimes it is her training them. I watch from a hiding place, where she also watches me train, and feel pity on the infatuated boys whose minds take her from fighter to fantasy even though they know it will never be. As a bride of Persia no other man is allowed to touch her, a fact that Tamina protests strongly against but can do nothing about.
I wonder sometimes if we did the right thing taking her from her home but I believe we did. I doubt in her old life that she thought any of these things, running, and sword-fighting possible.
My wandering thoughts are interrupted when I hear a huff of breath close to where I'm sitting. I know who it is straight away as only one other person could get up onto this rooftop. She's about to turn and run before I can respond but I am too quick for her.
"Tell me princess, why you stare at the horizon so much?" I ask it as a question but it comes out as an order. I don't mean it to but the only time I hear her speak now is in obedience and the tone is force of habit. She hesitates for a few moments before cautiously taking her place beside me. The pause before she speaks is much more awkward than normal.
"I want to see what's there." Her voice is quiet, as if it isn't her place to express any wish to travel despite the freedom of speech Tamina and I want to give her. I guess it's too ingrained in her system not to say anything. Her wish makes sense however when I think of all the maps and books that I see her pore over, all the wistful expressions when I tell her certain stories.
"You want to travel and explore the world but there are wild and dangerous things out there princess." It's not like I want to negate her dreams, I really just want to keep her talking to me about all of her dreams like she used to when we were comfortable with each other. But finally on the last word, she snaps as if she was holding it all back like a dam.
"Stop calling me princess Dastan. I am the second wife. I should never have asked you to teach me to sword fight; I should never have asked to be a man. It wasn't my place." Her hands clap over her mouth in horror at what she has just said. There is a heavy silence over the both of us but she refuses to run away, face the consequences of talking to a prince with such disrespect. But I am neither Tus nor Garsiv.
"Are you not happy with what we have given? Would you prefer the life we took you from?" I refuse to believe that she is unhappy here, or that her old life was better.
"… I don't know." She sighs heavily, answering hesitantly once again, "In my old life I knew my dreams would never come true. But here… here you've made some of them a reality but instead of being happy like I should be, it only makes me want the others more. I can ride horses, fight men at their own level, talk to people…" Once she began to relax her guard around me her true feelings, probably bottled up for so long, came spilling out.
"But you cannot travel?" I interrupted but there was more yet to come.
"Well yes but not just that Dustan. I want a baby, a child for my own; I have always wanted a child. But now I am married to you no other man can touch me as, not to be presumptuous, but I'm sure you'd allow me a lover. And as much as I love Tamina I doubt she will let her husband lay with another woman, married or otherwise." Finally she stops, taking in a massive breath of air to replace what she'd lost in that last speech. Her news falls on my stunned ears. I never thought that wanting a child could enter the equation. But then again what did I know? I never knew women would even want to learn to fight or ride.
"You are too presumptuous. I would never let you take a lover. I'm far too jealous a man to allow that." I am not in love with her as I love Tamina even though Tamina has told me that she would understand if I did, but she is my wife and I find her captivating in her innocence and enthusiasm. I would not even allow Bis to touch her even though I know he finds her as captivating as I do, "Tamina doesn't want to travel, her duties lie with Alamut, so you will go in her stead. And I promise that one day soon you will have the child you wish for, our child. Would that make you happy princess? Will that make you talk to me again?" I turn my head towards her and am shocked by what I see.
The princess is smiling at me for the first time in months.
Happy at last.
