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Disclaimer: Stephanie Myers owns the characters

Hopelessly Hopeful

Chapter 2

Why did he have to be here? I mean tonight of all nights. I still can remember the first time I met him…

I was 8. I had just started third grade and I was more excited than ever. I was about to be 9! One more year away from double digits. We had just moved to Forks, Washington, in a nice little neighborhood. We were still getting to know the neighbors, when this older man walked up. He was in his late 50's, early 60's. His gray hair had receded, and he wore old jeans and a buttoned shirt that looked like it had been worn for many years. He lived in the house across from us. I was outside with Renee, riding my bike up and down the street when he approached me. He held out his hand and I shook it with my tiny one. "I'm Billy, and what's your name baby girl?"

"I'm Bella, and I'm almost 9!" I told the strange man excitedly.

"Only one more year and you'll be in the double digits!" The man exclaimed. I beamed up at him. He understood.

The house was quiet; too quiet. It was almost an eerie feeling, like the ones you get right before something bad happens

They were waiting for me in my bedroom. I knew he had already paid Renee and my body was basically his now. "Are you ready, baby girl?" I hear him say. I whimpered and closed my eyes. I heard Renee walk out of the room, closing and locking the door behind her. His body moved toward mine, and he led me to the bed. I opened my eyes, only allowing myself to look at the ceiling as I imagined that i was in a place far away from him. While my body felt all of his touches, my mind was distant. I knew this was the only way to handle it, as he had raped me many times before.

By the time he was done, it was already dark outside. I laid in my bed, wide awake before I finally gave in and grabbed the box underneath my bed. I opened it and reach for the thing I needed the most; my blade. This time I had no desire to hide it, as I gave in and made four parallel cuts on my wrist. The thoughts stopped as I watched my blood flow from my wrist. Tears of relief left my eyes and I finally drifted off into sleep.

I groaned as I opened my eyes from sleep. I sighed, slipping on my house shoes and walking to the restroom to examine the damage done from last night's episode. Sure enough, I had bruises on my collar, and my cuts had re-opened. This was going to be difficult to hide with my make up.

"Bella! Get your ass down here right now!" I heard Renee scream. I knew this had to be about last night. I must have done something wrong. I always do

I quickly gathered myself as I ran down the stairs into the kitchen where Renee was. She looked pissed, and not just the kind of pissed you get when your kids forget to start the dishwasher, pissed like someone had just murdered her dog pissed.

"Yeah, mom?" Even though I didn't like to call her "mom," she refused to be called anything else. It was some sick fantasy of hers if I had to guess.

Smack

Her hand hit me right across my cheek, and hard. I heard it before I actually felt it. The taste of blood came next, as my lip busted open. I instinctively grabbed my face with my hand, trying to register what just happened. Even though I had been hit in the face before, it still never ceased to shock me when she did it. I didn't have time to recover by the time the next blow came, this time pushing me down on the floor.

"You UNGRATEFUL little BITCH." She scream as she started kicking me. I did my best to try and turn myself into a ball so they didn't hurt quite as bad, but it didn't seem to help. She was relentless. "You think you can just whore around and get away with it, but you can't. No man will ever want someone as disgusting as you. Remember how worthless you are, Bella. Now get up!"

I had heard this speech many times before, but it didn't stop the sting of each word she said. What had I done to make her hate me so much? I just didn't understand it. I did my best to stand up on my own two feet but it was hard. Her force did some damage, I could already tell, and I had to be to school soon.

"Now go figure out how to hide that face before you go to school." She said as she walked out the door, slamming it behind her.

The tears came as soon as she left. I let out a sob that was waiting to escape from my chest. Why? Why does life have to be this way? I knew I had to go get ready or I was going to be late to school, so I went upstairs and did my best to try and cover the bruises with my make up. It wasn't the best job, but at least it wasn't as noticeable.

I rushed out to my truck, and headed to school. The first bell had already rang by the time I pulled up, so I sprinted to English. Thankfully I made it in time, knowing Renee would have a fit if I was even a minute late to class. As I walked in, I kept my head down and my sweatshirt close around me and headed toward my seat in the back near Angela. Edward was surprisingly still sitting in the seat next to me.

"Bella, what happened?" I heard Angela whisper as soon as I sat down. Angela didn't know a whole lot, but she still managed to put together the puzzle pieces. "I was afraid when you didn't show up in our normal spot this morning."

"Sorry Ang, long night and rough morning." I shrugged my shoulders, feeling the pain shoot down my arm. She must have kicked me pretty hard there, because I winced.

"You have to get out of there.." was all Angela managed to get out before the teacher started class.

I tried not to pay too much attention to Edward, but it was hard not to. His eyes seemed to stay on me throughout the class and I couldn't figure out why. I kept my hair in front of my face and my hoodie zipped up, trying my hardest to hid the majority of the bruises. As soon as the teacher started writing on the board, Edward slipped a piece of paper toward me.

Are you okay? I don't mean to pry, but I noticed the bruises…is everything alright?

I felt the blood drain from my face and my body turn cold. He suspected something was going on. He couldn't know. I quickly scribbled my response to him:

Yeah I'm fine. Thank you for your concern though. Just clumsy.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as he read it. He crumbled the piece of paper and turned his attention to the teacher. I guess that would hold him off for now. I sighed in relief. Angela already knew too much, and I couldn't risk anyone else getting suspicious.

Class when by slowly, and I was ready by the time the bell rang. I quickly grabbed my stuff and headed for the door. Edward had already left in front of me, so I was glad to have no confrontation with him.

I walked to my next class, keeping my head down like always, when I felt someone grab my arm and pull me into an empty classroom.

"What the.." I started to say when I looked up and saw that it was Edward. "What are you doing?" I asked, a little nervous at this point. Edward just looked down, confused and a little shocked. I looked down where he was and realized that he was looking at my arm. He had reopened the cuts when he grabbed me and now I had started bleeding.

"Bella, are you okay? You're bleeding." He said as he grabbed my arm. I tried to prepare for what he was going to do next but it happened to fast.

"Edward, don't.."I managed to get out but he had already seen. The cuts and the scars were exposed. I quickly yanked my arm away and pulled my sleeve down. "Please, don't tell…"

"You…cut yourself? Bella, let me see so I can help. They looked pretty deep. My dad can help…he's a doctor. But Bella…why? Why would you do this to yourself? Are you trying to kill yourself?" His questions came quick, his eyes glued to my face, but I kept looking down, avoiding to see the disgust that I knew he saw when he looked at me.

"I have to go." And I ran. I ran out to the parking lot, into the woods on the other side of the school, and tried to breathe. I could feel the wetness in my eyes as I cried. I couldn't believe that someone had found out. I had tried so hard to keep it a secret, but I had failed.

"Bella!" I heard Edward yell in the distance. Had he followed me? What possessed him to follow me? Was he going to hurt me? He was going to hurt me. I just knew it. My breathing started getting heavier and faster, my heart was beating a hundred miles an hour, and my vision was getting blurry. I couldn't get a good breath in and before I knew it I passed out.

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