A/N: Sorry I'm always so slow to update, but please keep readin' and bearing with me. THANK YA!
There are certain things that a ninja needs to survive.
One: a weapon. Any weapon, really. Ninjas can make a water bottle into a weapon, if the need arises. So weapons are pretty easy to come by. Of course, my preference is a shuriken.
Two: food. Hey, we all have to eat.
Three: a specified amount of sleep. Which, oh yeah, Vincent happened to DISTURB this morning!
"…Vince…we gotta set some rules down…" I said groggily as he continued to pack my things that were strung around my room.
"Yuffie, it is almost ten o'clock. I'm sure Cloud intended for us to leave around dawn, and although I didn't want to intrude on you, it seems I must, if we are ever to leave."
"…Vince, it's too early to speak Gentlemanish. …Mornings are strictly Plain and Simple."
"Get up."
"See…? Was that so…hard?"
I can hear him sigh from the other side of the room. I yawn, loudly.
"A ninja needs her strengthening sleep…"
"And you've had quite a bit of it. Get up, Yuffie."
"…Ack… Fiiiine."
So I get up and we leave to climb the stupid mountain.
I notice Vince is a pretty decent marksman. Let's just say I am not jealous of the people who get on his bad side. Which…is gonna make stealing his materia all the worse. Vince looks like a pretty intense guy. I hope he doesn't get too bent outta shape by it…
"So," I say, trying to make a little conversation amidst the monster killing, "The coffin dealio… What was up with that?"
"…It's nothing you should burden yourself with."
"Telling me what happened isn't gonna burden me with anything."
"…I have sins. I must atone for them. That is all. You needn't worry yourself on the details."
"Needn't worry myself? Did you grow up in that coffin too? Nobody talks like that."
"Yuffie, I am 57 years old."
"DAMN! You are hot for a grandpa."
"…Yuffie."
"Well you are!"
"I stopped aging at 27. I was sleeping for 30 years in that coffin."
"Oh. Well, you're still a good-lookin' grandpa. Why aren't you telling me the story behind this again?"
"Because there's no need to."
"Oh fine."
The only cool thing about the stupid mountain was the pure materia that we saw in it. I wanted to take it, but Vincent kept giving me that Stern Grandpa Look. Ninjas respect their elders when they feel like it.
Once we finally got to Rocket Town, Cloud was pretty angry.
"Where have you been?" he says, while steam is coming out of his ears.
"Where have YOU been?" I counter.
"Here! Without you!"
"Well I've been THERE, without YOU! So ha…"
Vincent and Cloud exchanged glances and shook their heads, agreeing that arguing with a ninja will get them NO WHERE.
Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
So I try to find Red so he can fill me in on what I've missed and I can't seem to find him. Vincent seems to be following me around though. Maybe he knows.
"Vince, first off, why are ya following me?"
"Cloud suggested that I try to prevent you from stealing from any of the locals."
"…Ha… Who says I steal stuff?!"
"…From whose money did you buy all of your materia then?"
I look down at my wonderful array of materia that I have equipped.
"Uh…I had a part-time job before I met you guys! Duh!"
"…Hmm…"
"ANYWAY! What's the story so far? Do ya know what we're doing here? Or why we're not doing anything right now?"
"Cloud has asked permission to use this local pilot's aircraft. The pilot, Cid Highwind, refuses adamantly, so Cloud has opted to ask him again today."
"…Jeez. I woulda just taken it…by…now… ERR—I mean, yeah, GREAT, idea. I'm sure he'll convince him this time around."
Great, now Vince is giving me this knowing look.
"Yuffie…" he starts.
"Wha? Huh? Oh, hey, Vince, I really gotta go to the little girl's room. I'll catch ya later!" I said, giving him a little wave, and then doing the ol' disappearing act.
Ha, Vince may have his pretty cool vampire moves, but nobody can find a ninja when she doesn't wanna be found.
So I found myself in this rusty old spaceship. This hunk of junk definitely looked unstable. I mean, the thing was LEANING towards the TOWN. Obviously, using my elite ninja mind powers, I deducted that eventually this piece of trash was gonna go BOOM and the town was gonna go FLAT, and I didn't wanna be here when that happened.
"Hey! What the heck are ya doin' up here kid?!" a male voice said, looking extremely aggravated.
Another tall, blonde hair blue eyes guy. Older though and nowhere near as good lookin' as Spike.
"I'm not a kid!" I said, glaring at this old guy. How dare he speak to the ninja PRINCESS in such a way?!
"This is my ship, and you need to get the hell out," he said, grabbing my arm.
"Don't touch me ya old fart!" I said, throwing a punch at his face.
He blocked, but not with enough time to defend my kick to his balls. MUA HA HA HA! Do NOT mess with the INVINCIBLE ninja PRINCESS!
I bounded happily from the ship and over the old guy's curled up body. I skipped happily down the steps and saw Spike and Aeris and Tifa standing by a nearby house. I decided I should probably make an appearance.
"So, what's up guys?"
"Yuffie, where's Vincent?" Cloud asks, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Oh, I ditched him somewhere. Why?"
Cloud sighed, and put his head in his hands.
"Yuffie," Aeris said, putting her arm around my shoulders, "We're going to ask Mr. Highwind again, and Rufus from ShinRa is suppose to be coming here soon."
"Oh. So I should probably be ready to high tail it out of here then."
"Yes, but don't go alone," Cloud said, "Get together with Vincent and Cait."
I sighed, but left to find Tall, Dark and Angsty and The Plush Doll You Thought You Burnt When You Were 6.
Running into the stupid doll wasn't hard at all. It was trying to give some old dude a fortune cookie or something.
"Stop assaulting the poor man, and help me find Vince!" I said.
"Arghh! Why doesn't anyone want to know their fortune?! Is it me? Am I really that scary looking?!"
"Not scary. More like stupid looking."
"Yuffie…perhaps I should see your compatibility with everyone in the group?"
"Ha! Go ahead! A ninja is compatible with EVERYONE, except stinky old fathers."
Cait Sith smiled deviously and did a little dance. He pulled out a piece of paper and began to look at it with a smirk on his face.
"Well, it says that Cloud thinks you're a stealing brat. Aeris thinks you're a little spoiled kid. Tifa thinks you're an arrogant kid. Red thinks you're annoying. Barrett thinks you're loud and annoying. I think you're fat. And Vincent thinks you're stupid."
My jaw dropped, and clenched my fists.
"…V-Vincent does NOT think I'm STUPID!" I yelled, getting ready to unleash some serious Ninja Fury, but somebody came up behind me and put their cold hand on my shoulder.
"…Yuffie."
"Ack!" I said, whirling around, already knowing it was the Vampire Man himself, "V-Vince, hey, how's it goin'?
"What is going on here?" he asked, giving Cait Sith a mean, I Could Suck Your Blood Even Though You Don't Have Any Blood look.
"U-Uh, well, erm, I was only givin' Yuffie a fortune reading…" the cat thing stuttered.
"Yeah, and he was being real MEAN about it too! Tellin' me everyone hates me and you think I'm stupid. You don't think I'm stupid, do ya Vince?"
"No, Yuffie. I don't think that you are stupid."
"Oh yeah! SEE, ya slimy 'ol cat! Vinnie likes me!"
Vincent twitched.
"Oh, hey guys, we're supposed to be getting outta here."
"Shh," Vincent said, hearing something us puny mortals couldn't, "Let us go to the Highwind house."
"That is more than I have EVER heard you say Vincent," Cait Sith said, looking particularly stunned.
"Huh? Vince says stuff all the time. Okay, well not ALL the time, but he's said lots of stuff. Maybe you should l-i-s-t-e-n."
Cait was about to say something obnoxious in retaliation, but Vince grabbed my arm and gave me a We Gotta Haul Ass look, and I immediately followed. Cait seemed to get the idea and was running behind us.
We saw some fat, old guy get run over by a truck and we saw Spike and everybody on top of this ugly little airplane.
"Get on!" Spike shouted, holding his arm out to Vince.
Vince grabbed it and Cait jumped way over my head onto the thing. I was readying my jump when the thing started to MOVE.
"Yuffie!" Vincent yelled, holding out his hand.
I grabbed it just in time, and the plane started to take off. Vincent pulled me up and held me next to him. And I felt EXTREMELY weird at that very moment. EXTREMELY. I don't even know why. One moment I'm like HOLY LEVIATHAN it's taking off without me! And in the very next second I'm like……………….WHOA………………..I have never been this close to Vincent……ever. He kind of smells…nice. ARGH!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Ninjas don't CARE what people smell like! Ninjas care about--!
OOMPH! Dang, we got shot down already? How worthless is an airplane that can't fly? Not too worthless apparently since we're using it as a boat…
"Can't believe they ruined my f#$ Tiny Bronco!!" said that blonde haired old guy I kicked in the crotch awhile back.
"Hey, you're that guy…" I started.
"YOU! YA #()&#)$& BRAT! What'd ya think ya were DOIN' kickin' me like that?!"
"YOU! YA STINKIN' OLD MAN! Ya shouldn't have been tryin' to grab me! Ninjas don't appreciate being handled like some luggage!"
We glared at each other for awhile until Vincent cleared his throat.
"Hey, Vince, thanks for helpin' me out before."
"It was nothing," he said.
"Where should we go now? We've kind of run out of options…" Spike said.
I looked around. Oh, I knew where we were. I looked over at Vincent cautiously. He was staring out at the ocean still looking like a kicked puppy. And the guy smelled so friggin good…
LEVIATHAN! I have HAD enough! I can't keep stalling like this. It was NOW or NEVER and a ninja never backs down! NEVER! NOT EVEN IF A GUY IS NICE AND SMELLS GOOD AND IS A VERY HOT GRANDPA. Ack! Why was I even thinking that?!
"Uh, let's go west!" I suggested.
Everyone turns to stare at me.
"Yeah, Wutai! We can regroup there and stuff and get equipment and stuff," I hope I was sounding believable.
I looked at Spike pleadingly, "Pleeeease!"
"…Alright," Spike said, sighing.
Nyuk nyuk nyuk. Oh, Spikey you have NO idea what you have just done… Hehehe… Oh dangit, Vince is lookin' at me funny. Damn him and his vampire intuition! I smiled sweetly at him…and his look only got darker. Crap! He can read me like a book. Right, I'm not even gonna look at him. Man, I wish I could just steal everyone's materia except his. I don't want him all angry with me. But ninjas don't pick favorites.
I had a very bad feeling that suckage was ahead.