First substantial chapter up and running. A little long, but the main storyline gets started.
The bell that started the school session at Furinkan high had already rung twice when Tendo Akane and Saotome Ranma tried to slip quietly into their classroom, momentarily ceasing their bickering. Luck, however, was not with them that day. The child-like teacher, Ninomiya Hinako, fixed her gaze on the two latecomers.
"Mr. Saotome, what a surprise. And what's the cause of your tardiness now?" Hinako giggled. "Maybe it started raining and you were inside somewhere?"
Ranma froze just as he was about to slip into his seat. That did it, he'd been picked on enough for today. Ranma turned to glare at his teacher and said (despite Akane pounding on his arms), "Aw, lay off, what're you gonna do about it?"
Hinako was expecting something like that from her most troublesome student, and was rather counting on it. She did NOT want to spend the day as a child. "Ooh, that's bad, talking back to your teacher." She admonished, spreading two of her fingers to reveal a coin. "Good girl exercise one! Happo-goen-satsu!"
Ranma rolled his eyes and jumped to stand directly in front of his diminutive teacher, smiling sardonically as he casually poked a finger in the middle of the coin. "Whatcha gonna do now?" The rest of the class winced inwardly and cowered in their seats. This was an all-too-familiar scene at Furinkan. Hinako was grinning triumphantly.
"What I do to all delinquents! Happo-gojuen-satsu!" Hinako spread the fingers of her other hand with a flourish, and for once caught Ranma unawares.
"What the-?" Was all Ranma got out before he slumped to the floor.
Hinako sighed in content as she filled out considerably, sprouting at least two feet. "Now, where were we class?"
"Uh . . . We were talking about human reproduction," Hiroshi said, drooling as he stared at his teacher like a lovesick puppy. Daisuke nodded his head fervently in agreement.
Akane was banging her head on her desk. "Baka, baka, BAKA!"
Hinako scowled at her. "Ms. Tendo, at the moment I'm feeling gracious, but if you really want water duty–" She raised her eyebrows and let the sentence hang.
Akane matched her teacher's scowl and slumped down in her desk, muttering darkly.
Hinako flashed a bright smile. "Good. Now-"
School drug on and even Akane found it hard to keep her eyes open. As soon as the exit bell rung she grabbed her bag (and Ranma's pigtail) and stalked out the door, grumbling to herself. First the idiot got himself drained, and now SHE had to bring him home. Akane tightened her grip and turned. No, she wasn't going to do that. "Ranma, you've been sleeping through the entire day, now GET UP, because I am NOT dragging you home!!"
Ranma cracked an eye. "Geez Akane, what's wrong with you? Why don't you see what it feels like to be happo gojuen satsued?"
As of yet, Akane had only experienced the much milder happo goen satsu. Still, that was no excuse for Ranma to act like an invalid. "Come on Ranma, we have to get back because Dr. Tofu's supposed to be coming over for supper and-"
"And you wanna be there to greet him?" Ranma finished, batting his eyes at her as he hopped to his feet, energy magically restored. "Oh Dr. Tofu, I've been waiting for this day for SOOO long and-" Ranma fell over sideways, hands raised placatingly in the air.
"Shut UP!" Akane growled, mallet still in her hands. She suddenly realized the consequences of her actions. "And I still have to drag him home." Akane sighed and pulled Ranma up by his arms, giving in to fate.
Akane's mood got progressively better as she and Ranma neared the Tendo dojo. By the time she walked through the front door she was almost ready to forgive her awakening fiancé. At least until he woke up and started speaking.
"You un-cute tomboy, what'd ya have to hit me for?" Ranma moaned as soon as his eyes opened.
Akane restrained herself. "Ranma, you–" She stopped and took a breath. "Could you please just TRY and not make trouble when Dr. Tofu gets here? I'd–I'd really appreciate it." Akane almost swallowed her last few words as she saw Ranma staring at her as if in shock. He waved a hand in front of her face.
"Akane? You sure that's you in there?" He stepped back then, a smug look on his face. "Hmm. Well, if it'd really mean that much to you–I guess I could stand not to eat your cooking for one night–"
Akane had been looking hopeful, hardly daring to believe that Ranma was being so nice and agreeable–and then he just HAD to add that. "Raaaanmaaa! Kasumi's cooking, not me!"
Ranma nimbly side-stepped Akane's wild punch, grabbing her arms lightly after she followed through. "Akane–I was just kiddin'. I won't do anything stupid, I promise."
Akane was so surprised at his unusual sincerity that she just stood there, not bothering to pull her arms out of Ranma's grasp. "Huh?"
Ranma shrugged and dropped his hands, mood already gone. "Ah, come on, you wanna go, um, youwannagosparsome?"
If anything, that just astounded Akane more. "Ranma, are you feeling okay?" She asked, brow furrowed as she searched his face for some sign of sickness.
Ranma scowled at her, crossing his arms. "Hey, I'm just trying to be nice! What's wrong with that?"
"Sure you are. When's the last time you offered to spar with me?" Akane barely gave him time to answer. "NEVER! You've NEVER asked to spar with me!"
"Well then you'd think you'd wanna go do it now!" Ranma said, irked.
"Ggggrrrr. Lemme change." Akane walked off stiffly and Ranma stuck his tongue out at her before heading out to the dojo.
"You're really going to do it Ranma?" Nabiki asked excitedly, yen signs in her eyes as Ranma came down the stairs.
Ranma looked at her. "Yeah, why not?"
Soun was leaping about the living room, hands on his head. "Finally! I knew you and Akane were perfect for each other Ranma! After tonight the families will finally be united! Saotome, come quick! Bring the sake!"
Ranma cringed and held his hands up. "W-what're you talking about? We're just goin' to spar a little! It's not a date or anything!"
Soun stopped in mid-dance, jaw dropping. "S-spar? Just spar?"
Nabiki was snapping her fingers. "Darn. There goes a good deal."
"Yeah, spar." Ranma confirmed, looking at them cautiously as he continued to the dojo.
Five minutes later Akane was furiously executing a series of kicks interspersed with ferocious jabs. "Fight me Ranma! You're the one who wanted to spar, so FIGHT!" And saying, Akane leaped into the air and positioned herself for a flying side kick. Ranma executed a graceful backbend and Akane went flying over him and into the wall. "Alright, you asked for it!" Akane growled.
"Akane, if you didn't get so worked up you'd fight a lot better." Ranma commented nonchalantly.
Akane stopped in mid-run. Ranma didn't usually bother telling her what she needed to work on. "Really?" Too late, she realized that Ranma had swiftly moved to stand in front of her and poked her in the stomach.
"You're dead," He said.
"RANMA!"
"What? You wanted me to fight." Ranma defended himself.
"Th-that was just dirty you little sneak!" Akane sputtered. "Well, if you think that's the only way you can beat me . . ." Akane was sure that would rile him.
Ranma's eyes flashed. "Why you–Hell no, you know damn good and well why!" He shouted indignantly as he jumped to his feet.
"I don't know Ranma, after all, I have defeated Kodachi."
Ranma snorted. "Please, you calling that thing in your room an all out fight? Kodachi could cream ya if she wanted to." He regretted it as soon as he said it, performing a slow back-kick to cover a worried glance in Akane's direction.
Akane's eyes had started to glisten with anger. She stared at him for a second, fists quivering. "Well fine then!" She spat, voice quivering slightly. "If I'm so bad go spar with the dummy!" With that she ran off, leaving the shoji open.
"A-Akane, that's not–what I meant." Ranma finished to himself, frowning as he stared down at the floor. Every time he tried to do something nice for a change he always screwed it up somehow. He hadn't meant to suggest Akane was an inept martial artist because she wasn't really that much worse than Kodachi. It had just slipped out. Ranma glared at the dummy, letting loose a chi-enhanced kick that severed the pole in half before scuffing back to the house as well.
Dr. Tofu helped himself to another spoon of fukujin pickles and almost spilled them all over himself when Kasumi asked, "How is it Dr. Tofu?"
Dr. Tofu's glasses fogged up. "Ju-just fine K-K-Kasumi!"
"Aack! Watch what you're doin' doc!" Ranma yelped, bowling Akane over as he dodged the spoon of pickles Tofu was dumping in his lap.
"Oh, I'm sorry Ranma, I didn't see you. Haha!"
Akane shoved Ranma off of her and then continued to pointedly ignore him as she'd been doing since leaving the dojo.
Genma had taken the moment of confusion to swipe the rest of the pickles and was hurriedly pouring the contents of the bowl down his throat.
"Hey oyaji!" Ranma whacked him over the head. "Save some for the rest of us!"
Soun grabbed the bowl from his friend. "Yes, by all means Saotome. After all, I did let you win this afternoon at shogi!"
[Did not! Came the sign. [I out-maneuvered you with my superior skill and cunning!
"Haha! That's a good one Saotome!" Soun laughed.
[I was serious.
"Knock it off will ya?" Ranma muttered, taking the rice from Dr. Tofu before he could dump that over too.
Kasumi giggled. "Oh Dr. Tofu, did you want some more? That's Nabiki's plate you're eating off of."
"My dysfunctional family." Nabiki muttered, shoving her plate away as Tofu gave a "heh heh" and turned to Soun's plate. Soun and Genma were having a heated argument (albeit one-sided, Genma scribbling furiously on his sign) on their latest game of shogi.
"Now the only thing we need is for Ryouga to show up." Ranma laughed, shoveling chicken into his mouth at a pace that would challenge a vacuum cleaner.
Nabiki shook her head at Ranma's comment. "Great, now you've done it." She'd hardly completed her sentence when the very foundation of the house began to shake.
Ranma looked at her, noodles hanging from his mouth. "Oopsh."
A second later the wall of the dining room was blown inward and the Eternally Lost Boy stood in the makeshift entry, a glare on his face and opened umbrella in his hand. "RAAANMAA, PREPARE TO DIE!!"
"Jeez P-chan, what'd I do now?" Ranma asked, unable to think of any calamity he'd recently brought upon Ryouga.
Ryouga's chi was a bright red. "Do NOT call me-" A red ball of light began to form in his hands, "P-CHAN!!" Ryouga finished in a roar, letting the chi loose.
"Woah! Akane, get down!" Ranma kicked his fiancé's legs out from under her before diving over to Kasumi, who was staring unintelligibly at Ryouga.
"Why Ryouga-kun, what a pleasant surprise, we were just eating supper-"
Ryouga didn't even hear her. "How dare you Ranma! First my lunch, then Jusenkyou, then Akane, and now THIS!! What have I ever done to you?!"
Ranma put a thoughtful hand to his chin. "Do you want a list?"
"That was rhetorical you moron! I thought I'd seen hell Ranma, but this, THIS is the very depths of agony!"
"Well spill it then, bacon-breath," Ranma said calmly, dodging Ryouga's punches.
"I," punch! "have seen," kick! "the future!!"
Ranma dodged another punch and coolly kicked Ryouga onto the porch. "NANI?! What the hell's wrong with that you idiot?! I thought you had some demon after you!"
Ryouga stood on the porch panting, still glowing but anger cooled somewhat. "That's just it Ranma," He smiled wickedly. "We're all going to die because of YOU! And Akane, you have no IDEA what they–god, I can't even SAY it!!" Ryouga grabbed Ranma by his shirt and began shaking him. "Ranma you jerk! This is all your fault! And I'm NOT going to China, you hear?!"
Ranma shook his head. "Who's asking you to go to China, P-ch-" Ranma broke off, eyes widening as he saw something behind Ryouga. "W-what the hell is THAT?!"
The thing in question looked like an average girl in her twenties, and could have been mistaken for one except for the insignificant fact that its eyes were glowing.
There were collective gasps and comments from the table.
"My, is that some kind of monster?"
"If I'd known this was going to happen I could've raked in a couple thousand yen."
"Ranma! Explain yourself! What is this creature?!"
"Gruff gruff!"
"What'd you do NOW Ranma?"
" . . ."
Ryouga whirled to face the Tendou house's occupants, still holding onto Ranma's shirt. "That's what I'm talking about! I was training in the Khingan mountains and this THING just appeared and tried to suck the life out of me! And don't even try and tell me you weren't in some way responsible for this!" He finished, turning his attention back to Ranma.
"I don't know what that thing is Ryouga!" Ranma said hotly, sizing up the creature. "You can bet if it'd been causin' me trouble I'd've taken it out before it came to my friends' house!"
"Oh yeah, just can't admit that you don't always win, huh Ranma?"
"That's got nothing to do with it!" Ranma fumed. "We needa find out what this thing is so we can get rid of it before-" There was a shriek from behind him.
"Ranma! It's doing something to Kasumi!" Akane shouted, jumping in front of her sister who was slumped on the floor. Soun had his hands clasped behind his head now.
"Oh Kasumi! How could this have happened?"
Ranma jerked away from Ryouga and stood directly in front of the demon-girl that was slowly advancing. "Hey you! Ya got a name?" He demanded, hands balled into fists at his side. Ranma looked around in surprise when a voice echoed through his head.
"Tian Gui Xian."
"Uh, huh?" Ranma said brightly.
"I think it's Chinese." Ryouga offered helpfully.
"I know that! Well listen, you ain't no tian guuin, and I don't know what you're here for, but-"
"Do you mock me, boy?" Tian Gui Xian asked coolly, moving from the shadows. Ranma smirked. Well, she'd noticed.
"Kasumi didn't do nothing to anyone, so you can either leave now, or deal with me." He finished, settling into a fighting stance.
Tian Gui's body was suddenly flooded with a blinding white light that lit the entire Tendo yard like an airstrip. "Foolish mortal, you think you can defeat me?" She laughed. "I'll make a deal, since you seem so spirited. If you give me that string tying your hair, I will leave this house alone when the time comes for my dominion."
"My hair?" Ranma echoed. What the hell did she want his dragon whisker for? No matter, he wasn't about to let this ghoul go. "How about I make a deal with you instead?" He retorted. "You leave now and I promise not to kick your sorry ass across Asia."
"Ranma," Akane said urgently, "hurry. Kasumi . . ."
Ranma gave her a confident nod, then turned to the glowing demon. "Okay, you asked for it. MOUKO TAKABISHA!!" Ranma let loose the chi blast of pride he'd been accumulating for the past ten minutes. The blast coursed over Tian Gui and after a sound that roughly resembled a sonic boom, she disappeared in a flash of light. Ranma rested his hands on his knees, panting. That ought to take care of her. Ranma straightened and looked around as his strength returned. There was no sign of the Chinese demon. He turned to see how Kasumi was doing–and gasped as an intense pain washed over him. "Where . . . did you . . . come from?" Ranma said through clenched teeth, trying to stop the spasming of his muscles. "And what . . ." He caught his breath as a particularly painful jolt ran down his arm, "did you do to me?"
A hint of a smile appeared on the demon's face. "You understand my power now? You should have taken the deal I offered, insignificant being." Tian Gui looked at him disdainfully, and Ranma snarled, pulling his arms back for a punch.
Wait a minute, he wasn't moving his arms at all. Ranma stared in shock as his arms slowly made their way above his head, increasing his discomfort a thousand fold. "H-hey, what're you doing?!" Ranma gathered his strength and threw himself at what was left of the kitchen wall, trying to stop his arms from rising any more. His body wasn't listening to him though.
Ryouga, after staring openmouthed as Tian Gui absorbed Ranma's chi blast, had been stealthily working his way behind the Chinese demon. He'd been trying to keep his thoughts on Akane and how she would never love him (more depressed the better he figured, in for a dime, in for a dollar) and now, as Ranma finally gave in to the escalating pain in his arm and yelled, Ryouga leaped from his cover. "SHISHI HOKOUDAN!!" The blue beam of chi leapt from his hands and impacted full force with Tian Gui. There was a twisted shrieking noise, so high on the decibel scale that even the koi in the pond winced. Drained from his chi blast, but happy, Ryouga fell to the ground. I did it, now Akane will have to admit I'm better than Ranma! Akane dashed out of the house, leaving Kasumi in the care of Nabiki, and Ryouga smiled as his vision became reality. "Akan-"
"Ranma! Are you okay?" Ranma was still leaning against the dojo and looking whiter than usual.
"Yeah Akane, I'm fine." He mumbled. Damnit, why the hell did Ryouga have to butt in? "I was winning." Ranma muttered to himself.
Akane's concern quickly evaporated into full-blown chastisement. "Ranma you jerk! You were not! Can't you at least say thank you? Ryouga kept that–that whatever it was from pounding you into the ground!"
"Huh. If I'd had another second I would've sent her back to the kami plane she came from."
Ryouga was fuming, his utopian vision shattered. He got to his feet, energy renewed. "Ranma . . ." He said menacingly, stalking towards the pig-tailed martial artist.
"Yeah, pig boy?" Ranma said snidely. He hated losing. And what made it even more humiliating was when someone had to come in and win WHILE he was losing.
Ryouga growled and snatched his umbrella up, arm tensing for a blow.
Dr. Tofu, who had been checking on Kasumi and assuring a wailing Soun (Nabiki had thought for a moment that she would have to pay for a funeral ceremony) that there was no harm done, walked out of the hole in the wall and put a hand on the lost boy's weapon, stopping Ryouga in his tracks. "Ryouga, I think this had better wait." He said firmly.
Ryouga halted. "Uh. Uh, sure, Dr. Tofu." He stuttered, throwing a glare at Ranma.
Ranma stuck his tongue out. "Biiiida!"
Akane cuffed him on the head. "Be nice Ranma. Ryouga just saved your bacon."
At that Ranma started laughing maniacally. "Hear that Ryouga? YOU saved MY bacon! I think really you saved-" Ranma snorted ostentatiously, "your own! Hahahahahaha!"
Ryouga had gone to stand by the koi pond, seething. "Ranma . . . I am going to rip you limb from limb as soon as the doc is gone," He said softly.
Dr. Tofu had kneeled down next to Ranma and didn't appear to have heard Ryouga's heartfelt vow. "Ranma, could I look at your arm?" He asked, holding his hand out.
"Huh? Which one?" Ranma asked, moving his arms experimentally. The pain he'd felt earlier had pretty much gone. Hmm, his left arm was still sore though, he had to admit. "Uh, I think maybe . . . maybe, um, my uh, arm is maybe a little sore still."
"Oh for god's sake Ranma, you don't have to act so macho about it!" Akane yelled. She turned to Dr. Tofu. "He's trying to tell you that his arm is broken." She stated flatly.
Dr. Tofu smiled at her. "Thank you Akane. Your arm Ranma?"
Grumbling, Ranma turned so his left side faced the Dr. "It ain't that bad. I've had worse than this." He yelped as Dr. Tofu lightly placed a finger on his elbow. "Ite! Hey doc, you don't have to hit me!"
"He barely touched you Ranma." Akane sniffed derisively, turning the other way.
Dr. Tofu was nodding to himself. "I thought so." He looked at Ranma. "Tian Gui Xian used a psychic attack on you Ranma. Your arm isn't broken though, it's your shoulder that's been dislocated. It feels more painful than it normally would because of the nature of the attack."
Comprehension dawned on Ranma's face (Yes, it was a sight not usually seen). "Oh, that's why I was laid up so early on."
Dr. Tofu nodded. "I can counter the psychic affects, but you're going to need to wear a sling for a couple of weeks so your arm can heal."
Ranma stared at him. "I'm a quick healer doc! Come on, I'm a martial artist! I can't be incapacitated for half a month! What'll I do about Kuno?"
Akane rolled her eyes. Ranma could probably beat Kuno with two dislocated shoulders.
"I'm sorry Ranma, but unless you're willing to risk living with shoulder pain for the rest of your life–"
" . . ." Ranma gave Dr. Tofu a look.
"I'm going to use pressure points to counter the attack on your pain sensors so brace yourself," Dr. Tofu said.
Ranma sighed. "Go to it doc, I'm ready."
Dr. Tofu swiftly and surely touched several points on Ranma's arms, causing Ranma to grimace and clench his teeth, and finally it was over. "There. Feel any better?"
Ranma moved his arm experimentally. "Uh, yeah, a little." Honestly, it felt much the same, except now only his arm hurt instead of his whole body.
Akane had given up on ignoring Ranma and watched with interest as Dr. Tofu worked on him. "Wow. I never knew there were so many different techniques," She said in appreciation, beaming at the Dr.
"Just part of the job Akane." Dr. Tofu replied, smiling kindly. "Make sure Ranma keeps his promise okay? No sparring with that arm, and you can stop by next week and let me take a look at it again."
"Okay, thanks so much Dr. Tofu! And thanks for helping Kasumi too!"
"Oh, she was okay. Mostly it was just shock and a small bit of her chi drained. Stop by next week okay?"
"Thank you Dr., thank you!" Soun cried, arms still around Kasumi, who was waving brightly as if nothing had happened.
Genma (sill in panda form) whacked Ranma over the head. [Thank the Dr., you ingrate!
Ranma stopped his father's second attack with a punch to his furry nose. "Thanks doc, see ya around."
Ryouga was still sulking against the statue near the koi pond, watching Ranma jealously as Akane waved to the Dr., then pulled Ranma to his feet. So Ranma, you don't want to thank me eh? Well just you wait, your time's coming. Hibiki Ryouga isn't going to be treated like a doormat! He was knocked out of his thoughts as Akane called over to him.
"Ryouga! Come on in, are you alright?"
Finally, someone who cared, someone who understood-
"I really appreciate you helping Ranma out." Akane added as Ryouga walked over to her and Ranma.
Ryouga showed his fangs as Ranma just brooded. "Sure, no problem. After all, Ranma is everything, isn't he?"
Akane looked at him, confused. "Huh?"
"Nothing Akane-san." Ryouga sighed. "Come on."
And so the ball starts rolling.
Mini Japanese Dictionary:
Biida - Japanese onomatopoeia for a raspberry.
Happo-goen-satsu - Happosai's 5-yen death
Happo-gojuuen-satsu - Happosai's 50-yen death
Ite - Ouch
Mouko Takabisha - One of Ranma's chi attacks, "Fierce Domineering Tiger"
Nani - What?
Oyaji - Translated as "pops" a lot. Just a crude form of address to one's dad.
Shishi Hokoudan - One of Ryouga's chi attacks, "Lion's Roar Bullet"
Tian guuin - Chinese for a peace-keeper/police officer.