I'm not quiet; I'm just plotting your imminent doom.

-Anonymous

Two

Hallway Duel and Unforgivable Curses

Dear Diary,

I've had the most ordinary day a girl can have. I've been back to Hogwarts for three weeks, now, and the only people I've actually talked to are as followed: Lily, Christy, Alice, Remus, and my teachers. THAT IS PATHETIC! I have no life and very few friends and it gets quite lonesome when all of your friends have other friends, beside you. It seems you are the only one I can count on to listen to my ramblings and pitying thoughts without complaint. Siiigh. Well, on the bright side, I got an O on a DADA oral the other day! Yay, the nerd got...oops! This was supposed to be 'bright.' Ahem...Yay, the smart girl got another Outstanding! Hooray!

Pathetically Lonely,

Alexa Embers

--------

I'm sure I looked dead to the outside world. But I don't especially care. I was trying really hard to pay attention, but this was near impossible with Sirius groping Christy in the back corner, hiding themselves rather well. And, of course, Professor Binns, didn't notice this; he never notices anything worthwhile! Honestly...he needs to retire. You know, live in peace...oh. Heh, I suppose that chance is gone, eh?

Well, he can stay dead in peace, without having to worry about students and our imprudentminds. Maybe we'll get a History of Magic teacher actually worth listening to. I mean, Professor Binns is...okay, but we need someone who doesn't freaking drawl on and on and on and on! Mm...maybe that new Quidditch Champion, Bradley Binks, could teach us. I heard he graduated from Durmstrang just a year ago! So, he's, what? Three years older than me? Maybe four?

Sigh...daydreams are so much better than reality. I once had one where a brilliant white Unicorn turned into a brilliantly naked man (drop-dead handsome, he was) and whisked me away to happier times where everyone loved me and worshipped me. He treated me like royalty, along with his many servants (he was a prince, of course), spoiling me beyond what I was worth. I didn't object, though; it was nice to have someone care about me so thoroughly.

And he never once pushed to take my innocence. Ah...yes, daydreams are much better than reality. Or my reality, anyway. I'm sure Christy's reality is much better than mine. Than again, everyone's is better than mine, so that's not saying much.

I really wish I hated Christy(evil wench). I really really do. Yes, she annoys me and yes, I am irreversibly envious of her and her good fortune, but do I hate her? Yeah...no. Sigh, I do not. I've never been good at hating people. Well, except my Great-Aunt Merline; she was horrible. And she smelled bad too. But, despite the fact nobody knows of my existence, I don't hate any of them; it isn't their fault, really. I wouldn't notice me, either.

Oh crap...I think Professor Binns just asked me a question.

"Uh...sorry, I didn't catch that," I apologized as people swiveled in their chairs to stare at me. My cheeks flushed an unhealthy red color as I looked down at my desk. Hey, I never noticed that crack before. Wonder what happened?

The ghost's boring deamour did not change. "I asked...," he drawled (yawwwn), "...if you knew which troll conquered the Goblin's territoy in 1846."

I scrambled desperately, not recalling anything about a war between the Trolls and Goblins. Bloody Hell. "Oh, um...well, was it...the one who lived under the bridge?" I asked frantically. My cheeks turned red hot when I realized what I had actually blurted. James was laughing in his seat as Professor Binns actually frowned (ugh!) at me while Christy gave me an odd look (they had actually come up from air when Binns decided to embarrass me endlessly). Lily snorted in her seat beside me and I very nearly banged my head on the table.

"Please pay attention, Ms. Embers."

I nodded meekly and Binns floated back to the front of the class, talking about some gory battle between the Cave (not bridge) Trolls and Hob-Goblins. James snorted once more, flashed me a grin, and turned back to doing...well, whatever he had been doing. Which was definitely not taking notes. I picked up my quill and began to scribble mindlessly on the blank piece of parchment in front of me; I'll look up whatever we did in class today in the library. Or Lily can lend me her notes.

...Yeah, I'm going to the library.

Agh, someones staring at me. I can feel it. My neck is all prickly and my senses are suddenly very sharp. Discreetly, I glanced around the classroom; most students were dozing in their chairs, some leaning back stupidly. I frowned. That was just an accident waiting to happen. Honestly, what person in their right mind would lean back in their chair and fall asleep with the Marauders in the vicinity? Stupid gits; their heads are probably hollow bowls of—

Oh Merlin...I just found out who was staring at me. But why? I'm supposed to be meek, shy, invisible little me. He doesn't even know I exist! Not that I'm complaining, mind you; just terribly confused as Sirius Black stared at me, a smile on his face while Christy tried to drag him back into their previous activities. And he, shockingly, refused her.

SHOCK. GASP. WHOA.

Blushing, I turned back to my mindless doodles, hoping no one noticed me staring at Black, who was still staring at me. I felt a nudge to my ribs and looked up at a suspicious Lily.

Ha, of course she would notice.

'What?' I mouthed, playing innocent. Her eyes narrowed and she began to scribble on a small piece of parchment frantically. I sighed and colored in the large Quaffle on my completely covered parchment. I only looked away when she pushed her piece in my line of vision.

'What the bloody hell was that about?'

Ugh. Quickly, I scratched my response.

'Not sure. He was just...staring at me. And he's never noticed me...ever! Gah. . .what if he's a rapist? Lily!'

I sent the paper back, smiled when she let out a small peal of laughter before restraining herself and writing her response. I glanced up from my paper and frowned when I noticed Sirius now sitting in the empty spot beside James, near the front of the class. When the hell did he move? He was in the back, practically sexing Christy, now he was in the front-ish? How did Binns not notice this?!

Sheesh! Unreliable teachers...

I read the new note Lily gave me. 'Ha, funny. But it was odd...don't fall for it, Lexi. He's just a prat who'll get what he wants and leave. Besides, you're too stubborn to let him, so why am I warning you again? Sorry. Ha. Got a bit overprotective there...Anyways, the Hogsmeade weekend is this Saturday. Are you coming?'

I rolled my eyes. She didn't need to say sorry. Silly girl; she worries too much, that's true, but it's nothing to be sorry for.

'I don't know...not sure I'll be welcome, Lils. I think I'll just stay here; get in some extra studying and all that rot,' I wrote back quickly, sliding it over to my best friend. Her face fell at my answer, but she didn't push the subject, although I could tell she desperately wanted to. We sat in silence for the rest of class, neither of us paying attention, like Binns instructed me to do earlier. It was just too tiring.

Ack! I have Divination next. I have no idea why I decided to take that class (again) because all Professor Meline does is assign us homework from our books and has never, not once, predicted anything. Well...in third year, she predicted I'd fall and break my leg...but I had already down that two days previous. So, I'm not sure if that can be called a 'prediction.'

Finally, the small, tinkling bell rang, signaling the end of class. I shot up, stuffed my things into my bag, and walked out of the classroom, repeating 'Not bridge Trolls, Cave Trolls' in my head over and over again. That really was humiliating, especially because everyone probably believes I'm an idiot and the reason I'm invisible is because I have no social skills and I will forever be alone! ACK!

I stopped dragging my feet when I heard cackling and froze, looked around at the empty hallway, and darted behind a suit of armor. Of course I would get too wrapped up in my thoughts to realize everyone was moving faster than me. And now Peeves is going to find me and get me in horrible trouble.

"Ickle little firsties, run and hide
Peevesie will find you, not matter how hard you tried!"

I rolled my eyes at his horrible rhyming and stood there, holding my breath, as he floated past my spot without a glance, still cackling. I kept still, grasping my wand out of my bag, and walked out from my spot, heading towards the North Tower with dread. I was going to be in so much trouble; I'm already late. Stupid thoughts distracting me. I kept on walking, humming under my breath to fill the suddenly deafening silence lingering around me. It really was uncomfortable; I hate uncomfortable silence.

Actually, can it be uncomfortable if there's no one else there? Or am I just speeding up the process of my impending insanity?

"Well, well, what do we have here?"

Aw crap.

I whipped around and narrowed my eyes at the four Slytherin girls.

"I believe it's the little mudblood who ratted out Avery last week," one particularly slim girl sneered. Her blond hair was smooth and fell down her back elegantly; he face looked as if she had smelt something rather foul. I wrinkled my nose; I knew who she was: Narcissa Black. And, shockingly, her older sister was standing just beside her. Bellatrix Black's hair was curly and fell to her shoulders, gleaming prettily in the sunlight. She was, no doubt, pretty; but than again, most Black's were.

"If, by 'ratted out', you mean 'cursed him to oblivion', than yes, that's me," I replied calmly. Bellatrix cackled and stepped forward; I stepped back.

"Aw...the little Gryffindor has a sharp tongue," she cooed in a baby voice. I sighed heavily and glared. I really don't want to fight right now.

"Why don't you just turn around and slither on back to your masters lap?" I inquired innocently. That did it.

Bella's eyes widened impossibly large when she realized who I was referring to. Narcissa hissed under her breath, but made no movement to come after me. Her sister did. "You filthy little mudblood!" she screeched and shot a curse at me. Nonverbally, of course, so I had no idea what curse it was.

I threw my bag to the side and ducked away from the stream of light, murmuring, "Confundo*," under my breath. It missed Bellatrix, but hit one of her little followers, who instantly dropped her wand and ran off in the opposite direction, just as I intended. Jumping to avoid another hex, I aimed the Conjunctivitis Curse* at Narcissa, successfully hitting her; her eyelids snapped closed and she shrieked in shock. That was a lucky break.

"Crucio*!"

My eyes widened and I barely swerved away from the red flash of light that Bellatrix shot at me. She just used an Unforgivable Curse on me! That little...! SHE IS DEAD!

"Stupefy*!"

Bellatrix twirled out of the way and cackled loudly. "You think you can take me down with spells like—"

And than there was silence. I smirked, twirling my wand in my hand. "You talk way too much, dearest Bellatrix." She had been mocking so much, she hadn't heard me say, "Silencio*!"

Foolish.

Her mouth kept moving, but nothing came out. I rather like that spell. Suddenly, her face turned murderous, and before I could blink, I had a large gash across my cheek. I blinked and glared viciously, ignoring the oozing blood trailing down my cheek, brining my wand up and shooting a flash of blue light at her. I was vaguely aware of the crowd we were gathering from the neighboring classrooms, but I didn't care. Bellatrix Black needed to be taught a lesson.

"Crucio!" she hissed again. I hate that curse.

I was suddenly engulfed in a blazing pain; nothing had ever felt like this before. It was like somebody was draining the marrow from my bones; like they were forcing my blood to turn to fire and move the opposite way it was intended to in my veins. My head felt as if it was going to explode from the unimaginable pressure that suddenly appeared. My legs felt like someone was, very slowly, injecting a burning poison into my muscles. It took all I had not to scream. I did collapse to my knees, however, and that seemed like enough to amuse Bella.

And, just as quick as it came, the pain was gone. I gasped and fell to my hands, panting slightly, than clenched my fists, ignoring the screaming protests of my body as I stood up, facing the cackling Slytherin. It suddenly occurred to me that I shouldn't be hearing her; I silenced her. She must know the counter-curse for it...Damn.

"FiendFyre*," I muttered, watching as a large spout of fire errupted from my wand. The blazing heat fortified to resemble a large, full-grown lion. Bella's eyes widened slightly before she glared, her laughter gone as the lion pounced, running after her. I was careful to keep it off the ground and away from the walls and students; if it touched them, they would be obliterated. I could only hold the lion for so long, though, and soon, it vanished in a wisp of smoke, leaving a very angry and very vicious Bella.

We stood there, staring at each other, assessing the damage we inflicted on the other. Bella had numerous cuts up and down her arms, a few on her face, and two large gashes on her legs. Her hair was frazzled and wild around her, her eyes blazing with an undisguised loathing. I guess I should really be terrified. But I'm not. She can kill me for all I care; as long as I take her down with me.

Ha. And there I go, being all dramatic. She can't kill me in school and definitely not in front of all of these students. Too many witnesses.

I knew the damage she inflicted on me surpassed what I did to her; that much was obvious. It doesn't mean I'm losing; just being more reckless. I could feel the cold sweat on my face from the Cruciatus Curse; that pain was still fresh in my mind. The gash on my cheek was still oozing blood, which was down dripping onto my robes. There must be an ever-lasting blood flow charm on it or something. Actually, I don't believe there's such a thin as an 'ever-lasting-blood-flow' curse.

I must just be an easy and heavy bleeder. How gross.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!"

I started at the sound of Slughorn's voice and refrained from rolling my eyes. Of course the Slytherin Head of House would find us! Looks like I'm only lucky when I duel people.

"Lexi?"

I turned around at my name and winced when I saw Lily. At first, she looked shocked, than a look of complete horror replaced it as she ran out from the crowd and over to me. "Hey Lils," I greeted quietly.

"Ms. Black, what is the meaning of this?" Slughorn boomed, pushing through the crowd. I sighed defeatedly.

"This is not going to end well..." I muttered to Lily, who was fussing over my injuries like a day-care mother. Honestly, my best friend is more of a mother than my actual mother.

Did that make sense?

"Ah! What are you doing here?" Lily hissed to someone. I looked over and immediately looked away; it was the Marauders. Oh Merlin...did they see the whole thing? Fantastic. Lovely. Wonderful. Splendid.

Not like I'm not proud of what I did; I just don't want the unneeded attention they were definitely going to give me.

"Ms. Embers!"

I looked over at Slughorn and very nearly tried to sink into the floor. "This display was horrid! You should know better than to provoke other students!"

I shot a look to Bella, who was smirking on the sidelines, looking rather smug. I looked back at Slughorn. "I'm sorry, Professor. I guess I just couldn't resist the...temptation of cursing Bellatrix into next year. Sorry."

He looked anything but amused. "ONE MONTH'S DETENTION AND FIFTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

I only winced at the last part. Everyone's going to be pissed at me for losing those fifty points when we were in the lead for the House Cup. Great. This day just keeps getting better and better. Lily touched my arm.

"Alexa, why are you so pale?"

I stiffened. Ah, so Lily hadn't seen everything. Heh, no, I suppose I should've realized that when she never attacked Bellatrix with her amazing skills. She's better than I am at dueling. In answer to her question, I shrugged nonchalantly. "No idea, Lils. So, Professor, are you going to send me to the Headmaster? Or can I get to class?"

Slughorn's mustache wavered as he breathed heavily, his face red with anger. "Go to your common room and stay there until McGonagall comes to speak with you!"

Ok, now I'm scared. I stared at him in shock. "Y-you aren't seriously going to tell her?"

"You bet I am!" he roared. I flinched and walked over to grab my bag, slinging it over my shoulder morosely. If there is one teacher who terrifies me when they're mad, it's McGonagall.

Sob. But as I began to head in the direction of Gryffindor Tower, Lily spoke up. "But, Professor, Alexa needs to go to Madam Pomfrey! She looks absolutely dreadful--sorry, but it's true--" she added upon seeing the look I gave her, "and get her wounds treated! Please, sir!"

I snorted softly at the 'sir' Lily added; she always was his favorite pupil. Sometimes I wonder if he's a pedophile undercover.

Slughorn sighed and ran a hand down his face. "Ms. Evans..."

"Come one, Professor; look at her!" James piped up, thoroughly shocking me. I blinked and watched as he motioned towards me; I huffed and crossed my arms, staring defiantly at the two people who are so convinced I'm some kind of cripple.

"I'm perfectly okay, thanks," I declared. I grinned internally when my voice didn't shake from the strain my body was going through. It was still in slight pain from the Torturing Curse, but it was, all in all, exhausted. My legs shook slightly, trying desperately to support my weight as I scowled at Lily, who was glaring right back. "I appreciate your concern, really, but I'm fine! See!" I twirled around, my arms outstretched, to show my point.

And, of course, I wobbled a bit when I stopped, my head spinning rapidly. "Whoo...okay, I'm a little tired, but I can sleep better in my bed in my dorm!" I conceded slightly. I yawned widely and shot Bellatrix a dirty look when I saw her silent laughter; of course she would know what her stupid curse had done. Ok, I lied earlier when I said it's hard for me to hate people; I hate Bellatrix. I hate her to her very core and would be happy to see her get expelled from Hogwarts. She's a despicable human being and doesn't deserve anything she has. I hope she provokes someone who's stronger than her and gets herself killed. And, I sure as hell, hope that it's a muggleborn! Or a half-blood. Or even a blood-traitor; just to show her how purity of blood doesn't matter when it comes to fighting.

Slughorn looked from me to Lily to James and back to me when suddenly someone else spoke up. "Professor, I agree with James and Lily; Alexa should get some kind of treatment."

I scowled at Remus impressively, my arms crossed tightly as he avoided my gaze.

"I say let her go to the common room."

My stomach flipped stupidly at his voice; I was really rather hoping he'd stay quiet. But, now, I'm immensely happy he spoke up. I pointed at Sirius. "Ha! See, I'm fine! Please, Professor? I won't cause any trouble, I swear!" I called out, wincing as my cheeks stretched out while I talked; I would need to heal that wound. Slughorn stared at me, his previous anger gone and a small spark of concern in his eyes.

Huh. So he actually has a heart. Shocking, I didn't think he did.

Finally, after a few minutes of silence, he sighed, motioning towards Gryffindor Tower. "Go and Minerva can decide what to do with you."

I was about to thank him when I analyzed his words and huffed. "What, am I some kind of object? 'Decide what to do--Oomph!"

Lily covered my mouth and began to drag me back to the common room, gesturing for the crowd to part. I suddenly realzied I don't want to be alone in my dormitory with Lily. She's going to be veeery mad at me for not going to the hospital wing. But honestly; what could Madam Pomfrey do that I can't in my dorm? I know plenty of healing charms that are simple and easy. I have bandages and essence of murlap in the bathroom; those will help heal my deeper wounds! No point in bugging Madam Pomfrey...

Not to mention my fear of hospitals. I know the hospital wing isn't a 'hospital', per se, but it sure looks like one, smells like one, and feels like one; that's enough for my instincts to scream, 'Get the hell out of here!'

"Lily," I mumbled into her hand as Slughorn ordered the crowd of students to go back to class, "let go!"

"You-" she jabbed my arm "-are a bloody moron! Taking on Bellatrix on your own like that!"

I decided not to tell her about the other three. Oh yeah...what ever happened to that last girl, whom I did not hit with a curse or anything else? Hm...I bet she ran away. There's always a coward among them. Always.

I shrugged. "She's not that scary--Ow!" I winced as Lily's hand tightened around my mouth. I chanced a look at her features, only to actually reel back in fear. She wasn't angry...oh no.

She. Was. Furious.

Grrrreat.

Now I'm terrified of McGonagall and Lily.

"I don't bloody care if she was scary! Balderdash," she snapped. The Fat Lady looked awfully affronted.

"Don't worry, love; she's just mad," someone reassured. I almost groaned out loud. Of course the Marauders would follow me! GAH! I can not get a fucking break!

Merlin.

Hmph.

...

Ok, I'm better now. Lily practically threw me on the couch and scowled down at me, her hands on her hips; a perfect impersonation of my mother when I disappoint her which is, let's be honest, all the time. I rubbed my jaw tenderly. "Jeez, Lily; thanks for very nearly crushing my jaw!"

"Oh, stop being dramatic," she snapped. I pouted slightly, but didn't object. As I said, she scares the living crap out of me when she's angry. And she's reallllyangry right now. You know what's sad? I haven't even written my will yet. I wonder if she'll allow me time to do so before she murders me in cool blood? I suppose I could ask her...nah, that'll set her off. She's like a time-bomb; she's going to go off, and you know it, but you can't be quite sure when that is exactly and you sure as hell don't want to speed up the process.

A bomb is to Lily as Lily is to a bomb. There's a useful anaology.

...Silence. The boys were watching Lily and me nervously, although Sirius seemed pretty calm, probably waiting for the show to start. James was staring at Lily as if she were the freaking sun and Remus kept glancing between us, looking ready to intervene, if necessary.

Sigh. Too bad he wasn't there earlier in the fight.

...

...

...

...

...

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!"

BOOOOOOMM!

I flinched and shrank a bit in my spot. I had enough brains to know that was a rhetorical question and to not anwer it.

"SHE USES DARK MAGIC,LEXI! YOU COULD'VE BEEN SERIOUSLY HURT! YOU WERE LUCKY TO GET AWAY WITH WHAT YOU DID!" she shrieked at me. I sighed and shifted my bag off my shoulder.

"You don't need to tell me she uses dark magic, Lils," I grumbled quietly. That wasn't really meant for the others to hear, but obviously, I said it a little louder than intended 'cause Lily stopped ranting and raving, and just stared at me. I blanched a bit, but ran a hand through my hair casually.

"Are you done? Can I go to bed?"

Lily blinked. "What did you say?"

"Eh?...Can I go to bed?" Playing clueless never works, but I can have hope. She sat next to me while Remus took the other side. I looked from the Marauder, who looked abruptly angry, and Lily, who looked on the verge of tears. I shouldn't have said anything. I regret it! TAKE IT BACK FOR ME, MERLIN!

...

And I just lost a bit of my sanity. Returning back to the situation at hand, I shrugged. "I didn't say anything."

"Don't lie," Remus snapped. I blinked in shock. He's never talked to me like that before. Well, it's not like we talk very often, but when we do, he's usually really sweet and kind. Not now.

I scoffed. "Oh, come on off it! Everyone knows she does Dark Magic! It's not exactly a secret," I cried out, throwing my arms in the air before slumping back against the cushions on the couch. Lily thought deeply for a second, mulling over my excuse in her head, before sighing heavily and looking down at the table in front of us. Everyone was quiet until James spoke the question that was, obviously, on everyone's mind.

"Did she use dark magic on you?"

It was barely a movement, but Lily caught it; I flinched. She shot up, her eyes melting in pure fury.

"She did! I'm going to murder that...that..." she stumbled over a proper phrase to call Bella. I looked up.

"Evil wench?" I suggested, my lip twitching slightly. Lily blinked and looked down, meeting my gaze, and laughed quietly. It was breathy and could hardly be called a laugh; but, alas, it sounded slightly like one. She turned serious insantly. Sometimes I think my best friend my just be bi-polar. But eh, what do I know?

"We have to tell the Headmaster."

I shook my head. "No we do not."

"What? Are you serious?"

My lip twitched but I refrained from the pun. Someone else didn't though.

"No, I am. Honestly, Evans, I think you're losing your touch," Sirius piped up. Lily scowled at him but he just laughed in response.

"Anyways, I agree with her--Alexa, is it?" He turned to me. I almost blushed as I got his undivided attention, if only for second.

"Yep, that's me," I managed to say, my voice sounding firm and not-shaky at all. It did not betray me! I can't say the same for my face, however; he grinned at me and I instantly turned a scorching red. Sirius raised an eyebrow and his grin widened, but he turned his attention back to Lily.

"Dumbledore won't be able to do a thing to my dear cousin," he explained, a note of impeccable loathing entering his usually composed voice. "My uncle will make sure of that."

Lily let out a cry of frustration. "We have to do something! We can't let her get away with this!"

I stood up and slung my bag over my shoulder before walking away from the group. "Leave it be, Lily. I don't really care, anyways; I just want to go to bed. You know, I used to think getting burned by the curling iron in first year was painful. Well, not anymore! Honestly, whoever invented the Cruciatus Cruse was a seriously disturbed person. Mental, that's what they were. 'Oh, I have an idea to pass the time! Let's make a spell to torture people!' Bloody jackasses," I grumbled as I walked up the stairs, perfectly aware of the laughing boys by the couch. The laughing was more of a relieved sound.

They were actually worried I had been hurt. Aw.

I can't help but wonder; why? I'm invisible! James didn't even know I was alive until last year!

I mean, it's as if-Ah! My bed, how I've miss you!

I dropped my bag by the door and leapt into the soft mattress, burying my face in my pillow cozily. I never heard Lily yelling at James or Sirius calling Christy's name as she entered the common room or Peter's wheezy laugh or James's complaints or Remus's fond reproving comments. I only heard my own heart beat and breathing until I faded into uneasy dreams, which I awoke from multiple times through the night.

Oh, tomorrow's going to be fun.

* words

-Confundo: the confundus curse; makes the the object/person confused or disorientated or believe/do what the spell-caster wants

-Conjunctivitis Curse: aimed at the eyes of the victim and causes their eyelids to crust together so that they can no longer see

-Crucio: Cruciatus Curse; used to torture the victim. Causes intense pain. One of the three Unforgivable Curses

-Stupefy: knocks the victim unconscious

-Silencio: forces the targeted person to fall silent, unable to made any audible noise

-FiendFyre: colossally powerful enchanted fire that devours everything in it's path and has enough consciousness to follow it's victimes. Often takes the shape of a vicious animal

information found on: hp-encyclopedia(dot)com

Oh how I adore you. Oh how I thirst for you. Oh how I need you.

Skillet--Comatose