Chapter Note: Internet conversations are bolded

Still own nothing

Chapter 2: Research and Chats

To say that the Internet was a scary place would be a vast understatement. Kurt spent the past few days looking up kink on the web. He found a lot of information (more than he wanted – pictures included), but nothing that truly interested him. Most of what he found involved whips and chains, which almost made Kurt give up completely. He was able to find some porn sites that had videos of things me might like to try (things on the tamer side, at least compared to what he was finding), but unless he wanted to contact the webmaster of each page, there was no one to speak with, ask questions, etc.

About a week into his search, Kurt came across a kink/fetish website that allowed people to create a profile and talk about their interests. It had a chat function that allowed members to talk (and block; Kurt made sure of that). Deciding to throw a little caution to the wind, Kurt created a profile. He didn't post any pictures of himself or give any identifying information; all that was on there was his age, the fact that he lived in New York, and a small blurb that he was just seeing what was out there. He was a little proud of the handle he created for himself (BroadwayBound). Unfortunately, Kurt's search for information has yielded nothing. Well, that's not entirely true. Kurt got some offers to be spanked and numerous requests to be a live-in slave, all of which he respectfully declined.

Kurt was beginning to wonder if there was anyone out there that could help him understand his feelings, since he was completely unaware of what these feelings were. He was beginning to believe that he was the only one who ever experienced these emotions. Logically, he knew this wasn't true, but it made Kurt feel like he was back in Ohio, alone, with no one who understands him. Exacerbated, he was ready to log off when a message popped up:

NewAtThis: Hi

Kurt clicked on NewAtThis' profile. There weren't any pictures, but this guy had a similar page as Kurt's. He was Kurt's age and new to New York. Also, like Kurt's profile, though, there wasn't much information about what this guy was looking for. All it said was that he was into bondage, so Kurt went into the conversation with some caution.

BroadwayBound: Hi

NewAtThis: I noticed our profiles are somewhat similar, you know, lacking information. LOL. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing on here, but figured I'd look to maybe see what's out there. What's your story?

Kurt desperately wanted to share all of his story with this guy, but they've been talking for approximately one and a half minutes. This is the Internet; this guy could be some freaky pervert . . . or Sue Sylvester. Kurt decided to just give a little bit of information to see how this guy reacted, but was still extremely hesitant. He noticed his fingers shaking as they touched the keyboard.

BroadwayBound: Let's just say I ended up in a situation and was surprised that I liked it.

NewAtThis: Situation? You are on a fetish website, so I'm assuming that it's something in this realm?

Kurt was biting his lip as he decided whether or not to be honest. It hit Kurt that he's on his computer. He can share some information, and if the conversation went poorly, he could block this guy and never have to speak with him again. The realization actually made Kurt feel a little better and that he could be a little more open than if he was talking to someone in person.

BroadwayBound: I ended up getting tied up. I wasn't really expecting it to happen, but got a little turned on.

Kurt found himself blushing as he typed.

BroadwayBound: OK, a lot turned on.

NewAtThis: How exactly does one end up getting tied up? Haha.

BroadwayBound: I don't know if I want to get into that right now.

There was still a level of shame that Kurt felt, but he was beginning to be uncertain about what exactly caused him to feel this way. At first, he thought it was because he was robbed and shouldn't have been excited, even though he got excited before he realized he was being robbed. Then, he started to wonder if it was strange that he liked being tied up.

NewAtThis: I understand. As you can see by my name, I don't have much experience. Truth be told, I really don't have much at all. It's hard to start up a conversation with a guy about stuff like this.

BroadwayBound: Tell me about it. I had this happen right before Christmas, and I've been thinking about it nonstop since. I've wanted to talk with my friends about these things, but it's not exactly an easy conversation to have. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of "stuff" are you into?

NewAtThis: I'm kinda interested in tying a guy up, having some fun with him. Things got really out of hand for me when I was in high school. I've felt like there have been times in my life where I've been out of control. I wasn't always a nice person, and I think it was because I didn't feel like I was in control of my life. I like the idea of having some control in a situation where the other guy was into it.

Kurt audibly sighed with relief. This guy seemed to completely understand the thoughts he was having. There was no way Kurt was thinking he was ready to meet this guy, but, for the first time, he felt like he may have someone that he can open up to about his sexuality.

BroadwayBound: Wow, it's like you're in my head. I feel exactly the same way, but in a different role (I guess that's the right word). All my life, I've felt like I've had to be in control to make sure life went the way I wanted. To give up the control actually turned me on. I guess I'm a control freak, and want someone else to take that control. I just don't know how willing I am to give it up.

Kurt couldn't believe he had typed all of that out. It was the first time he verbalized (or typed) his feelings out to someone else. He actually found himself smiling as he continued typing.

BroadwayBound: I didn't think there was anyone out there who understood. I've had a couple of "interesting" offers. There are guys who don't even say hi; they just ask to meet up. I know that I'm nowhere near ready to meet up with someone. This is actually the longest conversation I've had with anyone on here.

NewAtThis: Yeah, man, it's cool. I definitely would like to meet with someone, but I agree with you about having someone to talk with. This is cool. If you don't mind, I'd like to keep talking.

BroadwayBound: I think I can handle that.

Kurt heard the door open, and realizing that Rachel was home, decided it would be best to end the conversation for now.

BroadwayBound: Hey, my roommate just came home. I need to get going for now, but I really hope we can talk more soon.

NewAtThis: Absolutely. Hope to talk with you soon.

Kurt signed off the website and closed his laptop. He smiled again as he got up to get dinner started with Rachel.

Thanks for reading!