Hey look! Another chapter!
It's a good thing I'm sick today, otherwise you would have gotten this some time next week. As you will soon learn, my updating is very much like the Ghanaian mail service- erratic and everything is in fairly bad shape when it finally arrives.
Episode 2: Al and the Fruitless Quest for the Electrical Outlet
Everyone loves camping. The fresh air, the smell of pine trees, the peaceful hum of wild animals living as God intended in a home free from pollution and violence; yes, camping is truly one of life's greatest pleasures. Ed and Al just hadn't realized it yet. After a seventeen hour train ride north and and four mile trek down an incorrectly labeled dirt trail, the Elric brothers and nature were engaged in a battle to the death. Obviously, nature had the upper hand.
"Are you sure there's power out here?"
"Dammit, Al, I don't know! I'm slightly distracted with this swarm of flesh eating gnats. AAAAGH! AAAAH! OW-"
"You know, I'm beginning to think those things are attracted to bug spray."
"That wouldn't surprise me at all. However, they shall realize the error of their ways when I BURN THEM TO A CRISP!"
"I could have told you that that was a bad idea before you did it. Look, right here on the can it says 'Not to be sprayed near open flame. Serious injury or death may result.' At this point, I might as well be a woman with all my directions-asking and instruction-reading. Would it really kill you to use a little common sense?"
"Have you ever realized what an unpleasant smell burning rubber is? Phwoar, that is just nasty. And lord knows the amount of splinters I'm going to get from walking barefoot in this wilderness... On the upside, smoke repels bugs, right? And that jacket was getting kind of stuffy anyways."
"It's raining."
"No it's not."
"Yeah it is."
"Nope. I refuse to accept it."
"That was thunder."
"NOOOOO! Not a storm! I hate storms! I'M GOING TO DIE!"
" No you're not. I might, though. Rain has a tendency to wash things away. Like chalk. Or blood seals. You know. Just puttin' it out there. It's a good thing we know how to put up a tent."
Ed hadn't detached himself from Al's leg, and was now muttering something about "the end" and "armageddon". Al unpacked his backpack, which contained a military issue tent, a microwave, and four bags of popcorn, and set to work. Unfortunately, this tent didn't come with one of those handy illustrated IKEA how-to guides with smiling stick figures and 'all materials included'. This tent came with the charred remains of what appeared to be a wordy instruction booklet. With no pictures.
After struggling with the collapsible rods, burnt manual, and crumpled rain hood for the better part of an hour, Al wound up with a semi-functional crawl space strung up between two trees. There was still no outlet in sight.