Wow, I didn't expect the response this story got so thanks for all the reviews, favourites and follows! You wanted more? Here's more.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or the characters.

"Hello?"

Castle froze when he heard her speak, he hadn't actually thought that she'd answer her phone. What should he say now?

"Beckett?" Why did that sound like a question, of course it was her, he thought, berating himself.

Hearing his voice helped more than she thought something so simple ever could.

"Hi, Castle," she replied and just saying his name, talking to him, it made her feel better than she had since that awful day.

They were both silent after that, just listening to the breathing of the other through the phone. It was amazing how much even just this helped both of them. It made them feel like all wasn't lost and that they could eventually get back to where they had been.

"Castle?" Beckett said a little while later, afraid that Castle had fallen asleep when she heard his breathing begin to even out.

Castle jolted slightly, close to sleep, lulled by the reassuring sounds of her on the other side of the phone. He thinks the sleep he was close to succumbing to would actually be nightmare free for the first time since she'd left.

"I'm here," he said softly and the depth he put into those two simple words, Beckett knew he wasn't just talking about currently being on the phone with her, he was talking about being there for her always.

That thought almost had Beckett spiraling into one of her panic attacks, which had unfortunately been happening more frequently lately. But she managed to calm herself and oddly the man who almost caused her to freak out, was the same man that calmed her down now, just by matching his breathing through the phone.

"I know," Beckett said eventually and she took a deep breath before she spoke again, "why did you call?"

The words "why didn't you?" sprung to Castle's mind immediately but he held them back. He could tell she was hurting just by the few words that she'd said to him and he didn't want to make that worse, he wanted to have a proper conversation with her first.

"I…" He didn't have a clue what to say and he couldn't come up with a single thing to say other than telling her the truth. But should he tell her the truth, tell her he was missing her desperately? That he wanted to be there for her, to help her get better?

She sat there listening intently, waiting for him to continue but he didn't.

"How are you?" she finally asked and it was strange, strange that she was the one prompting him, trying to get him to open up instead of the other way around.

Castle laughed out loud at that, not being able to stop the sound from coming out of his mouth. How was he? He wasn't great at all. But for some reason, to hear that question from Beckett at a time like this, it had him laughing the first real laugh since she'd left.

Beckett couldn't help but smile at Castle's laughter, it was a sound she hadn't realised she'd missed so much.

"You too, huh?" Beckett asked and while she wasn't glad that he'd had to go through all of this too, she was glad that there was someone else out there who knew exactly what she was going through.

Instantly, Beckett felt guilty at how she'd cut him out, knowing how much he probably would've benefited from having someone to work through this with him, just like she would've. In her mind, she'd told herself that he'd moved on, that he was happily living his life like he used to before they'd met. This phone call was a painful reminder of just how untrue that really was and how much she'd really hurt him.

They were both struggling for words now, unsure again what to say. Castle wished he was there with her, could wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything was okay, or at least that everything would be okay eventually. He wanted that not just for her though, but for himself too. He wanted to be able to look over next to him and see Beckett there, for her to be able to wrap her arms around him too and reassure him that everything would be okay.

"Castle," Beckett sighed, tiredness slowly wrapping around her brain again but she didn't want to tell him she should sleep, she didn't want him to leave her. And that was probably selfish of her, not wanting him to leave her when she did the very same thing to him. She needed him and she was almost ready to admit that to at least herself.

"I don't know what to say," Castle laughed again, truly at a loss for words. Well, he knew three words he wanted to say to her but whether or not she remembers the first time he said them, he can tell she's in no place at the moment to hear them again. He's not even sure if he'd have the courage to say them again just yet.

"The writer who doesn't have words? That's a first," Beckett joked and it felt good to laugh with him again, even if what they were laughing about wasn't funny at all.

"I haven't had words since you left," he said, the words pouring out before he could stop them, letting her know too much.

"Castle," Beckett said again, her voice cracking. She may have been saying his name a lot this early morning but it felt really good to say to him again. But hearing those words didn't sound good at all.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," said Castle, squeezing his eyes shut like he could make himself disappear.

"No, it's okay, I want you to feel you can be honest with me and that I can be honest with you." She wanted that, she really did. She wanted to be able to tell him the truth and for him to trust her enough to be honest with her in return. But she couldn't, she couldn't tell him all the things she desperately wanted to, which number one was asking him to come out to her father's cabin so she could see him, so she wouldn't be alone. She could ask any one but she wanted him. She was too fragile though, too broken, and she wanted to fix herself first before she let Castle see her again. She trusted him with her life, she just needed to be able to trust him with her heart as well.

Castle puffed a breath out, rubbing his hand down his face. He wanted to get mad, demand answers as to why she disappeared and why she never called but he can't, he's just too tired now, too tired of everything so he went with the truth instead, "I haven't been able to write, not since the…not since you left."

She was silent for a minute, absorbing his words and what they truly meant but before she could reply, he was talking again, "I'm sorry, I can't do this, I shouldn't have called." And then he was hanging up his phone.

"Castle?" she asked almost desperately, but it was too late, the line had gone dead.

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