Sauron sighed in relief and exhaustion as he closed the door to his room. The Valar had been true to their word, and the tasks he had been set were designed to not exceed his limits: though they had today, Sauron admitted ruefully to himself as he stripped off his shirt and collapsed into bed. The logical part of his mind told him he would be more comfortable if he would remove his damp pants and climb under the covers, but he couldn't find the strength to move.
"A bit too much for you, hmm little one?" Sauron stirred weakly, hands clenching and unclenching helplessly, as large hands turned him over onto his back. He whimpered deep in his throat as he was carefully but effectively stripped of his pants.
"Shh, little one," a hand was laid briefly on the side of his face in comfort, before footsteps left, paused, and came back, and the Vala began to clothe the Maia in a soft nightshirt. Then Sauron was picked up and cradled to a warm chest, as he heard the covers being turned down. He was laid gently in his bed, and his blankets pulled up to his chin. Hands were again laid lightly on his shoulders as Manwë leaned down to kiss his forehead, and as the Vala straightened up, he gently smoothed the covers over the small Maia, setting off a wave of confused, tangled emotions in Sauron, the dominant ones being warmth and longing. Manwë left, and Sauron slept, unaware of the slight smile on his face.
Sauron sighed as he took in the sight of his bedraggled appearance. Being pushed to his limits every day left him uncaring of things he had once paid meticulous attention to, such as personal grooming. The sigh changed to a gasp as large hands wrapped around him from behind, and he snapped his head back to see Manwë's surprisingly gently gaze.
"What was the sigh about, little one?" Manwë asked softly.
"I'm a mess," Sauron replied quietly, looking down. Manwë quirked an eyebrow.
"If you are referring to your physical state, that is something you can change," he pointed out.
"I don't have the time," Sauron replied in the same tone.
"A part of every day is given to you to do with as you will," Manwë said.
"And I spend all of it sleeping," Sauron retorted. He sighed again, slumping in Manwë's hold. "I'm so tired." Manwë said nothing, but gently began to rub the back of Sauron's neck and head.
"What do you want, child," Manwë finally asked.
"This," Sauron replied, the word torn unwillingly from his lips as Manwë continued to rub his neck.
"You want to be loved," Manwë said. Sauron gave a sad, soft laugh.
"At this point, all I want is to be treated gently," he said. "I don't care if I'm loved or not, as long as I'm not hurt." Manwë didn't respond to that verbally, just pulled Sauron into his arms causing the Maia to whimper, and cling to his shirt uncertainly. Manwë carried him over to a secluded chair and sat, Sauron still cradled to his chest. The Vala thought a hairbrush into existence, and began to pull it though the Maia's tangled hair. Sauron visibly fought his emotions the whole time, and when Manwë had finished, he dropped his head to the Vala's chest with a sob.
"What, child?" Manwë asked in concern.
"I was a mess, when I finished that project for Aulë," Sauron said, lost in memories. "Aulë didn't say anything about it, so after I left, I hid where I could hear. He told...he told Nyeleccaner that I was useless. I didn't wait to hear anymore, I ran. I found a small clearing on an out of the way would...and Melkor found me. He started brushing my hair, and was so very gentle...I told him what he wanted to know. As soon as I did, he stopped, and put the brush down. He thanked me for the information, and left."
"Is that why you turned to him?" Manwë murmured. Sauron nodded miserably.
"I never believed the way he did," the Maia said. "I loved Eä, I didn't want to destroy it. But Melkor wanted me, and I thought he would love me...but he didn't." Sauron gave a choked laugh.
"Why is it that now as a prisoner, I feel more cared for than I ever have since leaving the Timeless Halls?" he asked in bitter irony. Manwë tightened his hold.
"Little one, if you felt that way, why did you not allow us to examine your memories?" he asked. "We would have been far easier on you."
"I couldn't take that," Sauron said, trembling. "It hurts."
Manwë froze. ….Hurts?
"Little one, did Melkor violate you mind?"
"It hurt so much," Sauron whispered hollowly, his shaking increasing in intensity.
"Oh child," Manwë whispered, holding Sauron as tightly as he could without hurting the Maia. "Oh child. No wonder you chose the way you did." Manwë just stayed there, holding Sauron until eventually the Maia slept, still cradled in Manwë's arms. The Vala kissed the Maia's dark hair, fiercely grateful he had not made the decision to throw Sauron to the Void.