Thank you for all that have reviewed this story! I really enjoyed reading your comments and I'm going to answer a question of Dhuaine which is, "is this based on real life?" Why yes, it is! :) You see, I had a teacher auction just some weeks ago. The one who got the most money the first day of the auction was a substitute teacher. All these girls were like "WHOO!!" and I sadly only had that sub for one time so I barely knew him. I bid along with a friend of mine for him (who knew the sub better) and we lost to these girls who bought him for 200 bucks!! I am (and still is) DMC obsessed so I thought: "Hey, why not make a fanfiction? So..."Buy me!" was born!! So here's chapter two! Please enjoy!

Plus: Vergil will come into the story. Soon! Just for a little bit but that's better than nothing right? :P

Disclaimer: I don't own the Devil May Cry characters. Capcom does!

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Buy Me! Ch. 2: …but you can't have your Math without your side of English…

Dante expected his popularity to have dropped like the temperature in winter time but to his surprise, it only got hotter. 28 percent of the male student body (they confined with him) was either gay, bi, or confused. 73 percent of the female student body (to his complete horror) was turned on by the thought of himself and Mr. Lanstor having wild and rowdy sex in the janitor's closet. 95 percent of the janitors at Rowland (he couldn't believe for Christ's sake) were occasionally giving him the evil eye. As he was trying to forget the traumatic event of three days ago, his third period would not stop with the questions. For example:

"Did you ever know that you were gay, Mr. Speis?"

"Mr. Speis, is the reason you annoy Mr. Lanstor so much is because you have an undying love for him?"

"Mr. Speis, I believe you should just admit it now. Isn't that why you hit on all the women teachers? To cover it up? It's okay, sir, we are accepting, right class?"

That was just the jist of it. When he caught two girls passing notes, he forced the sender to come up to the front of the classroom. She was one of the quiet ones, very smart but not at all out there.

She timidly read, with her face completely flushed, "Who do you think is the one on top? Mr. Speis or Mr. Lanstor?"

The silver haired man regretted not just snatching the note away and giving the brat detention for the rest of the year. The whole class couldn't stop laughing so he had to discontinue teaching for the remaining seven minutes of the period. It wasn't unexpected that Trish and Mary were the ones literally rolling on the ground, holding on to their stomachs to keep them from bursting. Oh how Dante wanted their stomachs to burst so that he would be rid of them and this crap. In the next period it was his conference time and then, the dreadful teacher auction. He prayed to his father and mother, wherever they were, that he would be able to live through this with his dignity still intact.

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If there was one thing that Nero hated, it was sniggering. Usually he had the paranoid thought of the trigonometry class or anybody, as a matter of fact, laughing at him when he heard sniggering. This time he knew he wasn't crazy.

"Now, if you take this and plug it in the equation.."

Snigger.

"…you get two parts of the problem that seems very hard…"

Snigger, snigger.

"…but it's actually easy to do it…"

Snigger, snigger, snigger.

"…when you just-okay that's it! WHAT THE HELL IS SO DAMN FUNNY?!"

Nero had always been patient and calm when it came to doing math since the subject took time to fully comprehend. His class, however, had never seen him get angry so now that he is, they fell into a dead silence. He eyed every student and huffed. Honestly, if looks could kill…

"Yes…Joshua?" Nero drew out the two words impatiently. The boy had his hand up with the look of innocence. He honestly had no intention of doing harm.

"Er…do I call you Mr. Speis or Mrs. Speis now, Mr. Lanstor?"

….The boy honestly had NO intention of doing harm but Nero couldn't help it, taking this as an offense. Out of subconscious anger and suppressed bullied memories, he slammed his right fist into the chalkboard, creating a one hundred and fifty dollar hole that was coming out of his paycheck.

Oh how he needed coffee and a sword to stab the American Government teacher with so freaking bad.

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Dante was really fast when he wanted to be. He got his coffee, got the heck out of the break room as fast as he could before he ran into the "copycat" (as Dante would call Nero behind his back), and hid himself in his own classroom. He could have sworn he heard an echo of curses but he brushed it off as his imagination going wild and needing the warm stimulant in his cup. Before he could take a sip, he found himself eye to eye with Nero.

Dante could have also sworn the younger man's blue eyes were turning red.

Nope! Just his imagination again.

"You…took…the…last…amounts…of…coffee…" Nero drew out the words deadly. He threw his hands on the desk and made it tremble slightly. Dante gave him a 'whatever' look and resumed trying to drink.

He found himself jumping around and shouting curses due to the heat of the caffeine on his chest. Nero was smirking devilishly at his simple move of pushing the cup to spill the coffee on his senior. Then, right on schedule, they were tumbling on the ground, trying to rip each other's throats out.

"What the hell is wrong with you, kid?!"

"YOU! You're what's wrong with me!!"

"Pfft, as if, you're just putting all your damn problems on me!"

"Yeah, you know why? Because you're my damn problem! AND I'M NOT A KID! I'M

TWENTY FIVE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!" No matter how many fights Nero got into or how many hours he had put into the gym, he was no match for Dante's strength. The older man pinned him down and had his arms above his head. His left leg was holding onto Nero's waist as his right was keeping him steady. Nero growled harshly as it was Dante's turn to smirk. His icy blue eyes stared down at Nero's through his lens.

"You know, you may be twenty five and all but you sure act like the kids I teach in here," Dante replied sarcastically as the man under him glared.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??"

Both of the men snapped out of their stare down and looked to the door that was forgotten to be shut. Standing there was Mr. Luibagel and…the entire staff of Rowland High School. Nero looked at his current state down to where he couldn't see his legs and Dante found his leg still wrapped around Nero's waist with his hands pinning the other's wrists down as though he was about to….

Oh.

Shoot.

Not again…

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"It's time for the teacher auction, kids! Now remember, if you don't pay in full by tomorrow, then you won't be able to claim your teacher!"

Nero couldn't recall events like this when he was in high school. There were the multicultural food days and club rushes here and there but nothing as humiliating and against his own will as this one. The Principal was very scary when he could be and Nero believed that he way scarier than Nero himself.

He saw all the seniors sitting in the bleachers on different sides of the big gym. Some were actually participating, shouting numbers that Nero never would have imagined having in his own wallet when he was a teenager. The rest of the seniors were busy chatting or looking bored out of their minds. He nervously fiddled with his glasses, straightening them every few seconds (25th time now). Dante yawned sleepily next to him, yanking at the collar of his shirt that the school had given him as a replacement for his coffee soaked one. Nero noticed out of the corner of his eye some of the senior girls smiling and staring. They were all looking directly at the Government teacher. The shirt that was the replacement was one size smaller than the teacher wanted and showed off the defined lines of his muscular form.

"Heh, like what you see, kid?" Dante asked devilishly, catching Nero's attention.

Nero mouthed the words 'f you' and Dante's grin just got wider.

"Still mad about it, eh?"

"…."

"Well, it won't help if you are since ol' Principal Randoff paired us together as a 'two-for-one special like for a D grade Chinese take out place," he said lamely, scratching at the scuffle on his chin. "Might as well get through this dumb thing before he threatens again to make us work for three months without pay and with Luibagel's lawsuit for the shirt."

Nero heard his name and Dante's be called and for the 26th time he straightened his glasses. The gym erupted in squeals and loving sighs that made him almost want to make a run for the door. Damn those hall monitor punks for standing guard at the door! Dante began to wave smugly, trying to find some amusement in all this.

"Okay, remember, this isn't a date, ladies!" Principal Randoff's voice boomed into the microphone. The excitement and cheers got loud along with him. "Okay, we're starting at 20 dollars-"

"30!" Trish yelled.

"Aah! 45!" A short girl shouted over.

"50!" Mary yelled next.

Nero was shocked. In just a couple of minutes, the bid went over two hundred dollars! Dante seemed to be calm about this while the bid kept getting higher. The other male teachers were grumbling under their breaths and sending nasty looks over the math teacher's way. Dante noticed the glares and gave one of his own, sending the other men to look away.

"320!"

"325!" Trish shouted in determination. Dante seemed to smirk wider. Him and Lanstor were going to get out of this. He looked over to the younger man and leaned close to his ear, whispering, "Hey, kid."

Nero almost jumped out of his clothes went he felt Dante's breath in his ear. His blue eyes glowed dangerously but Dante put up his hands in defense and continued to whisper, "Hey, calm down, fire cracker. See the brunette and blonde over there? They're gonna buy us so we won't have to deal with this crap. You should be thanking me instead of wanting to bite my head off, you know."

"…." was Nero's response.

"Whoa! 325!" Randoff exclaimed. "Is anyone going to beat that-"

"…one thousand dollars!"

The whole gym fell silent as they all looked over to see who said the price. The girl stood up from her seat and smiled chesire cat like. She flipped her wavy blonde hair back as the girls around her, most likely her friends, were clapping elegantly.

"Ahem, in cash!" Patty brought out a suitcase that was hidden under her pink back pack and opened it to flash the crisp green bills. Everyone in the whole gym either gasped or jaw dropped. Trish's jaw was so wide that it looked like it could touch the floor while Mary's mismatched eyes practically bulged out of their sockets to the size of baseballs.

"No friggin' way!" Dante shouted in disbelief, breaking the silence and soon the gym vibrated the sounds of disappointment, cries, and cheers. Nero could feel his legs giving out from under him. A thousand dollars…? Where the hell do these kids get this much money?!

"SOOOOLLLLLDDDDDD!!" Randoff hollered loudly, almost breaking the sound system. "This will go down in Rowland High School HISTORY!! Come down and sign you name to claim Mr. Lanstor and Mr. Speis, Miss….!"

"Miss Patty Lowell!" She chirped loudly and seemed to skip over the people while going down the bleachers like stepping stones.

She laughed pleasantly as she made her way over to Principal Randoff and signed off the deal on the role sheet. Right then and there, she handed over the briefcase full of money. At the same time, Patty gave a wink to Dante and Nero who both looked like they had just laid ostrich sized eggs.

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Patty Lowell is a Devil May Cry character. Watch the anime please, it's that little girl! Oh and thanks for helping me correct her last name! I thought it was Royal lolz.

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