That was two years ago, and so far I've kept my promise to myself. I've studied everything I could get my hands on at the library that would help, and memorized it to the T. But that's being put on hold right now. I'm traveling back to the orphanage from a trial adoption in Forks, Washington. Weird little place there. But it was nice for a little while, until the husband tried to rape me. Son of a bitch would have if his thirteen year old daughter hadn't walked in. For that I'm very grateful that she did. Maybe if he hadn't touched me we could have been friends. Not gonna happen.
So now I'm stuck going back to the orphanage. It's been a month or so since I left the orphanage ,so there might only be a few of us left. I don't know, but the orphanage is trying out something. They send off a child that the couple has never met. If nothing goes wrong like what happened to me then the adoption papers are sent and signed. Just like that. Just sign a peice of paper and your theirs. Don't know about you, but that makes me feel as though I'm this pet dog from the pound. Just feels demoraltizing to me. But hey, that's just my opinion on this.
In truth, the one thing that I enjoyed about this place is the local libraries. Not just being there,but getting there. With the weather matching my soul, sunless,cloudy. Making the old oaks and seem greener than they really were, or the green that they really are. Can never really tell with colors.
*Going: Good evening travelers, welcome to the Washington Graveyard shift. We hope you enjoy the ride to where ever you are going and to have a safe trip. The breakfast and cafe' car is in the middle of each class. Thankyou and have a good evening:Going*
So this it. Going back to that hell and what, just live my life waiting for someone to take me home? Fuck that, fuck them, fuck them all for not wanting me to stay. Fuck them for just wanting me to use me and hating me for not letting Fuck Them All. I damn well have a right to hate them for that. I have a right to protect myself from being what they want me to be, I have the right to be who I want to be. But I cant be that person I want to be, that I'm MEANT to be, if I go back there. Fading into a light sleep, my plan formed.