6th June 2011

Aaron hated Monday mornings. Knowing they didn't have much time left together it was getting harder and harder to leave Jackson, he had barely left his side all weekend. Having not long come back from Whitby though Jackson had been insistent that he continue working so as not to arouse any suspicion about what was to come. Not wanting any further arguments Aaron had reluctantly agreed, although he made sure to go back to Dale Head for lunch and headed straight there every day after work, ignoring invitations from Debbie or Cain to go to the pub unless he could convince his boyfriend to come along.

Despite being a heavy sleeper Aaron didn't have an alarm to wake him for work these days, relying instead on only the vibration of his phone underneath the thin pillow which lay on top of his sleeping bag and the regularity of waking afforded to him by an established morning routine. It was a tactic that had earned him a few earfuls from his cousin and uncle for being late but he could put up with that as it meant he could avoid waking the man lying in the bed next to him until he was ready; only rousing him at the last minute to share a few precious minutes together and to begin his day with the soft brush of lips against his own.

Since he had decided to end his life Jackson had refused to continue his physio exercises, saying that they were pointless under the circumstances; an unnecessary inconvenience for his Mum or Aaron now that Joe was gone. For Aaron though, they represented the thin glimmer of hope he still secretly clung to. Every morning, after getting himself up, showered and dressed for work he took advantage of one of the traits the accident had not stripped his boyfriend of, his inability to wake early in the morning. Should Jackson have a change of heart Aaron was determined that his progress towards acceptance of the body he now resided within would not be hampered by his muscles having wasted. So, being careful to remain silent, he began his daily routine. Gentling peeling back the duvet he started with his legs; lifting, flexing and massaging before replacing the fabric and moving up to his arms.

Although he would never have admitted it to anyone Jackson's arms had always been one of his best features in Aaron's eyes. Muscly and strong but not obnoxiously so, laying in them at night had made Aaron feel protected in a way he had never experienced before or even expected to. Of all of the aspects of their physical relationship, well except from the obvious, he was a teenage boy after all, that was perhaps what Aaron missed the most. Running his hands over those familiar biceps now he could feel only a slight loss in definition, years of physical labour for the builder had fared him well. Turning his attention finally to the hands and forearms he started with the right. More skilled now than when he had earned a reprimand first time round from the older man, 'I'm not a fruit machine', he firmly kneeded the muscles there with his thumbs.

'Ughhhh'

His concentration was broken momentarily by a gentle moan from his boyfriend. Glancing up and not seeing the deep chocolate brown of his other favourite feature looking back at him, Aaron continued.

'Ughhhh, Aaron I'm trying to sleep!'

Used to these early morning protestations and knowing he had a couple more minutes before the older man was alert enough to properly realise what was going on around him Aaron swiftly moved over to repeat the process on his left arm.

'Seriously Aaron, I love you an' all but this is getting ridiculous. You know I'm not a morning person. Have you never heard the phrase let sleeping tetraplegics lie?'

The sarcasm indicating that his boyfriend was now pretty much at full consciousness, despite his eyes remaining closed, Aaron withdrew his hands and placed the duvet back over the exposed skin. 'Morning to you too little miss sunshine.' Turning round to glance at the clock he realised it was a little earlier than usual; it took a few more seconds for him to realise what else was different about this morning.

'Jay, you're awake...'

'I know I am, I'm trying not to be.'

'No...but I mean...' the shock of the realisation causing him to trip over his words, '...you're awake now but I didn't say anything, I didn't make a noise, I didn't touch you...your face I mean. Jackson can you...did you feel me moving your arm?'

Jackson's eyes remaining closed as he responded 'You probably made a noise, either that or bashed me over the head without realising, you know how clumsy you are.'

'I didn't, I wouldn't, I'm sure...' Letting the sentence hang in the air Aaron remained silent for a minute or two until he sensed Jackson beginning to doze again. Anticipation now coursing through his veins, he pulled back the duvet once more before grabbing his boyfriend's wrist, his eyes remaining fixed on the face before him the entire time.

As skin met skin those eyes which had not previously opened now stared back at him before moving down in the direction of his hand, their hands, resting there for a few seconds before meeting pools of blue filled with excitement. 'I..you...'

'Oh my god! Jackson you can feel me can't you? What? How? I don't understand...how can this have happened so suddenly?'

'It hasn't, well it's not that sudden I mean. I've been having these sort of pains in my arms for the past few days.'

'What? And you didn't say anything?' Aaron was by this pointing practically shaking with excitement.

'I thought it was my imagination. The Doctor said I might get phantom pains, especially when I'm stressed and I have been recently what with thinking about all the practicalities so I just put it down to that.'

Needing a physical release now for all the emotion he could feel building up inside, Aaron let go of Jackson's wrist and rose to his feet, pacing the floor. As he stopped to turn and face the bed once more Jackson studied his face, red and flustered but complete with the biggest smile he had ever seen cross the young mechanic's lips.

'This is amazing. Why aren't you more excited? You know what this means!'

'Because I don't wanna get my hopes up, or yours for that matter. It was hard enough to get you to agree to what I want in the first place, if you get worked up about this and it turns out to be nothing then I'm gonna have to convince you all over again'

Moving closer, Aaron grasped his lover's hand in his. 'Jackson you felt me touching you, you can feel me now, if that's not something to get our hopes up about then what is?' Lifting their entwined fingers to his lips Aaron gently kissed those which did not belong to him before shouting 'Hazel! Hazel!'

'What are you doing?'

'Getting your Mum out of bed, we're taking you to the hospital, now!'

Aaron grabbed the remote and began raising the bed up so he could start getting Jackson ready, eager to get things moving as soon as possible

Jackson was still reluctant to share the younger man's enthusiasm but his resolve was waning by the second 'No don't. You go to work and when my mum wakes up I'll get her to take me to the hospital.'

'You're joking aren't you? There's no way I'm working today after this and there is definitely no way you're going to that hospital without me! Hazel!'

Jackson finally allowed himself to smile, partly thinking about what could be but also because it had been a long time since he'd seen his boyfriend so happy. Even if it was just temporary he wanted to enjoy it. Noticing him smiling, Aaron leaned in for a kiss before breaking away and pulling the t-shirt he was wearing over his boyfriend's head.