Charles loved Suzaku.
Not the same way Lelouch did, although Lelouch would deny he felt anything more than attraction and maybe some fondness for his former bible camp councillor, but he loved him all the same.
Suzaku Kururugi was everything Charles zi Britannia lauded. He was proper and civic-minded and a member of good standing in their church and, most importantly, he knew his place. He deferred to every single Britannia scion, from the admittedly intimidating Schneizel to the somewhat foppish Clovis to the sweet and childlike Euphemia. Lelouch watched with scorn and more than a little honest anger as Suzaku made a place for himself by lowering himself into the place Charles could accept him in.
It was hard to get too angry, though, since Charles's approval of Suzaku meant that Lelouch was permitted access to the best and most consistent sex he'd had since he realized he was gay.
Which was doubly funny, because Suzaku had been in charge of making sure that Lelouch wasn't supposed to want that anymore.
To his credit, since Suzaku had taken Lelouch under his wing, Lelouch hadn't wanted gay sex with anyone but Suzaku, which was probably some kind of improvement. Maybe.
Charles wouldn't agree, but Lelouch was of the opinion that his father could go fuck himself with a rusty pipe. Maybe then he'd have more compassion for people whose desires were different from his own.
But he didn't, and thus Lelouch had to hide his relationship with Suzaku, despite the fact that Charles loved Suzaku, and the fact that Lelouch still refused to acknowledge that there was a relationship, or anything other than two guys who fucked each other.
Suzaku, on the other hand, was in love with him. Lelouch was way too young for that kind of emotional commitment.
At first, Lelouch had mostly gone over to Suzaku's, where the only limitation was that no one in his apartment complex knew that the boy who occasionally came over was the same person who screamed Suzaku's name through the thin walls.
Or, at least, that if they knew, they told no one associated with the church.
So it was easy and straightforward. Lelouch came to Suzaku's door with innocent smiles and books and the blandest, most casual clothing he could find. He looked neither stylish nor particularly out of style, neither overeager nor apprehensive, neither too young nor too old to be visiting casually. He smiled to people if they looked him in the eye first, and ignored them otherwise. He made himself as forgettable as possible so that he and Suzaku could, with abandon and without significant personal risk, fuck like particularly horny rabbits until neither of them could walk.
Lelouch never got tired of Suzaku, and Suzaku seemed to be comfortably settling in love with him, or something equally ridiculous. But he was getting a little tired of Suzaku's small apartment, and mostly of the taxi ride home, where he either reeked of sex or had damp hair from Suzaku's shower.
Which was why Lelouch, when his father insisted he improve on his bible studies, had the brilliant idea of inviting Suzaku over and killing two proverbial birds with one sexy stone.
Charles was pleased with Lelouch's choice because, after all, he adored Suzaku.
Not the same way Lelouch did, of course…
"I'm not so sure about this," Suzaku said nervously.
Lelouch snorted into his phone. "And it's so out of character for you to be unsure about anything. What's to worry about? You're coming over tomorrow afternoon, my siblings will all be out at various activities, and my father isn't even in town. You have the perfect excuse to be here, I've bought some shiny new toys to mark the occasion, and if we make it a regular thing, I'm thinking… gags?"
"For who?" Suzaku asked wryly.
"Both of us, of course," Lelouch said, grinning. Neither of them were quiet when given the choice.
Suzaku laughed and Lelouch congratulated himself on relieving his lover's… fuck-buddy's stress. "Come before two, just a few minutes and see Euphy off. For some reason, she's taken a fancy to you and if she knows you're here, my parents will think me safely supervised and won't worry that I might be out, trolling for gay ass."
"Why troll when the fish jumps into your boat?" Suzaku asked rhetorically. "Fine, quarter to two. It'll be nice to see Euphemia again."
Lelouch loved that Suzaku had come to terms with the clandestine nature of their relationship. Both Lelouch and Suzaku had a lot to lose by outing themselves, even despite the questionable legality of their relationship due to Lelouch's relative youth. Suzaku had commented on it once, only once, which had led to Lelouch kneeling between his legs and looking up at him with as wide-eyed and innocent an expression as he could force, asking if Suzaku wanted to be taking advantage of him.
It was one of the few times (other than the tofu incident, which both of them agreed to never speak of again) when Suzaku had looked genuinely disgusted during sex. Lelouch had pushed, as he did, playing the young ingénue with quivering lips and hesitant touches, until Suzaku broke down and begged him to stop. Since then, neither of them mentioned the ridiculous notion of Lelouch being anything but fully and wholly in their relationship as an equal.
Perhaps more, if the way Suzaku kept pledging his love and making promises, while trying to wring similar pledges and promises from Lelouch (unsuccessfully) was any indication. 'The first to fall in love loses' had always been Lelouch's experience, but apparently no one had told Suzaku, who seemed content with the situation as it stood.
Lelouch was the one, as usual, who had to push the envelope. As comfortable as Suzaku's apartment was, Lelouch found himself resenting the fact that he couldn't return the offer. Suzaku's bed was fine, perfectly fine, but Lelouch wanted to use his as well. It felt… childish to rely on Suzaku, and despite Lelouch's willingness to playact, he had never felt like a child around Suzaku.
Having to schedule around his siblings and parents' absences might have been a little juvenile, but Lelouch would take what he could, until he turned eighteen, at least.
And what he could take was Suzaku, in his house, alone for a full afternoon.
For bible study.
As Lelouch should have expected, Suzaku brought over his own bible. It was somehow adorable, as if the Britannia family didn't have dozens of bibles, in several languages, to choose from.
Euphemia found it charming as well, but she found everything Suzaku did charming. "Is that your family bible?"
"No, my father…" Suzaku shrugged. "He's promised one to me, once I meet with his approval."
Lelouch hated Suzaku's father just a little less than he hated his own. Suzaku didn't share much, but what he had made it clear that Genbu Kururugi was not only as closed-minded as Charles zi Britannia, he was as class-conscious and xenophobic as well. Of course, Charles hated 'Orientals' as much as Genbu loathed 'pasty-faced gaijin', so Lelouch would have happily locked the two of them in a room together and watched them hate each other in exactly the same way.
Meanwhile, in Lelouch's fantasy, he and Suzaku were screwing each other's brains out in the next room. Then the video of each room would be transmitted to the other.
What? It would be funny.
Euphemia, not dwelling on a rather odd vengeance/sex fantasy, just nodded in understanding. "Fathers can be quite exacting. I understand."
Of course she did. That was Euphemia. Understanding.
Suzaku smiled at her. "Thanks." Fortunately, the mutual love-in between Lelouch's sister and his… whatever-Suzaku-was, was halted by the sound of a car horn in the driveway. Euphy's ride.
"Dance," she half-explained, half-apologized to Suzaku. "I'll be back by six."
"If I'm still here, I'll see you then," Suzaku said, smiling and waving after Euphy until the car drove out of sight.
Lelouch stood by his side, patient and calm, until Suzaku lowered his arm and turned to him, his smile softening and warming into something just a little different, the heat in his cheeks crinkling as he parted his lips to speak.
And then Lelouch hit him.
It wasn't hard, even for Lelouch, just an open-handed slap to Suzaku's shoulder to communicate his irritation. Suzaku still winced and rubbed where Lelouch had hit. "What was that for?"
"Stop flirting with my sister."
Suzaku looked genuinely shocked. "I'm not… I would never…"
Lelouch tossed his head and moved towards the sitting room, ignoring Suzaku's stuttered pseudo-apologies. "Coming?"
Suzaku rallied himself. "Oh, yeah…"
His eagerness was flattering, but Lelouch was determined to punish him, if just a little, for his behaviour with Euphy. He set up one of the smaller couches, what would have been called a loveseat in any other household (Charles maintained that such terms were only foolishly tempting and an example of the secular world imposing its amoral values on them all), with a small reading table, pillows for comfort, and the ultimate trap.
A thin, mostly decorative blanket.
Suzaku had followed him in, and stood silently by as Lelouch finished his tidying, his warm smile cooling into a curious frown. "Lelouch?"
"Bible study, Suzaku, remember?" Lelouch asked as innocently as he was able. "It's why you came over, isn't it?"
Suzaku looked around, as if he suspected someone could overhear him, before answering. "I… I guess I kinda thought I came over so we could… have sex?"
Lelouch shook his head in faux-disappointment. "Oh, Suzaku. How is that supposed to save my immortal soul?"
"Haven't we had this conversation before?" Suzaku asked, adorably bewildered, and Lelouch just grinned and patted the cushion beside him, more eager than ever before to get the fun started.
"Never with Paul."
"…Paul?"
"What're you in the mood for; Corinthians or Romans?"
Suzaku groaned. "We're not seriously doing this, are we?"
Lelouch patted the cushion again. "Sit, Suzaku, and impart to me the wisdom of the Good Book."
"You're evil," Suzaku said, awed. "I wasn't sure before, but you are actually evil." Lelouch just grinned at him until he sighed and sat down, cracking open his own bible to Corinthians as Lelouch spread the blanket over both their laps. "Let me guess…"
"Verses nine to eleven," Lelouch said, almost primly. "My father thinks truer understanding of this will help enable my soul to… something something, I tuned out after about thirty seconds."
Suzaku sighed. "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor the effeminate nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."
"Mmm, yeah. Preach it, Suzaku."
"Evil," Suzaku muttered under his breath. "Right, so… discuss."
Lelouch shrugged. "I'll give Paul his due – he's a lot more concise than the Old Testament when it comes to listing sins."
"That wasn't a listing of sins. It was just some examples of evil." Suzaku snorted. "Unfortunately, they forgot beautiful cock-teases, but it's not a full and complete list by any means."
"He did, thankfully, mention homosexuals, which is such a relief. I'd hate for my summer camp experience to have been some horrible misinterpretation of scripture…"
"You know as well as I do that there's a debate over whether the 'effeminate' or 'homosexual' parts referred to modern definitions of the terms, or to more specific evils like prostitution and laziness, and – ah!"
Lelouch looked over at Suzaku as if he hadn't just unzipped his pants. "Really? Tell me more."
"This is why I was nervous," Suzaku griped.
"No it isn't, you were nervous because you didn't want the esteemed Charles zi Britannia to know you were fucking his son on a regular basis." Lelouch slid his hand down the front of Suzaku's pants, brushing over every sensitive area he could, and flexing his hand in the promise of friction. "But he's not here, so there's nothing to worry about, is there?" Suzaku's overly expressive face had already taken on a flush as he nodded wordlessly. Lelouch let his thumb brush over the head of Suzaku's cock in reward. "Then continue, Suzaku. Talk biblical to me."
Suzaku groaned. "I swear, Lelouch, you just keep pushing…"
"Damn straight I do," Lelouch said. "And maybe after you come in my hand, your hot spunk coating my skin like a milky, messy dessert, maybe we can go over the part with Oman."
Suzaku laughed, even as his cock started to harden. "Would you be this perverted if you were attracted to women?"
"Dunno. Never tried."
"Mmm… probably." Suzaku reached over and touched Lelouch's cheek. "You're so easily bored, otherwise."
Lelouch let Suzaku draw him in for a kiss, his own pants growing a little tighter. There were two bibles open before them, the blanket over their laps had been bought from a church fundraiser, and Lelouch was fast talking himself into that being enough as Suzaku deepened the kiss for him to stop teasing and start properly getting Suzaku off.
"So perfect," Suzaku moaned into Lelouch's mouth as Lelouch let his hand encircle Suzaku's cock, far too light for proper stimulation, but more than he'd had before. "Love you…"
Ah, that. If Lelouch was a cynical person… well, if he was a more cynical person, he'd have thought that Suzaku's easy declarations of love during sex a way of grooming and manipulating his younger partner. But, even if Suzaku was the type of person who did that (which he wasn't) and Lelouch was the type of person to respond to that (he wasn't), Suzaku was more than willing to express his love outside their bed, coupling it with small gestures of affection like kisses to Lelouch's forehead, a gentle caress on his arm.
It made Suzaku's spontaneous 'I love you's during sex both more genuine and more effective.
But Lelouch wasn't that easily seduced. It would take more than true love and Suzaku's amazing body to win his heart. He wasn't entirely sure what more there could be, but that would be what it took.
For now, he was happy enough with the sex, the incredible amount and versatility of their sex. Having a consistent partner, learning his limits and teaching Suzaku his own, exploring new possibilities that wouldn't have been possible with a one night stand, taking time out to cuddle and comfort, knowing that more sex would always be waiting for them… it was nice. It was nice enough that Lelouch had given up his unrestricted freedom, agreeing to Suzaku's demand for exclusivity, but he fought hard against the risk of falling in love.
That couldn't possibly; between Lelouch's parents and Suzaku's, the community they were raised in, the connections they'd made; end well.
No matter how tempting it was on occasion.
As the kissing and fondling progressed to proper making-out, Lelouch had to admit this was quickly becoming one of those occasions. Whether or not he loved Suzaku, he loved what Suzaku did to him, the way his body felt and smelled and tasted…
Lelouch's grip on Suzaku's cock tightened, slicked now by precome. "You feel so good, Suzaku." Suzaku groaned. "Yeah, just like that. Wanna see you, wanna make you come, and then I want your mouth…"
"Yes," Suzaku moaned. "Yeah, I want… I miss your taste, Lelouch…"
"You close?" Lelouch asked, despite the way he could feel Suzaku's cock, rock hard and ready, could see Suzaku's muscles tensing in preparation. "Gonna come for me, Suzaku, in your pants like a teenager?"
Suzaku groaned and buried his burning face in Lelouch's neck, seconds, moments away from…
Lelouch was so caught up in Suzaku that he almost missed the door opening.
He didn't miss his mother's voice, cheerfully calling his name.
Or his father's.
"Shit."
"Your dad's here?" Suzaku hissed, his voice tight with desperation after being pulled from the edge of orgasm.
"He's not supposed to be!" Lelouch shot back, just as hushed. He was supposed to be with Odysseus and the other children from his first marriage today.
"Lelouch, where – oh!" Marianne stuck her head in the room. "There you are. And Suzaku, of course. Lelouch did say you were coming over for bible study."
Suzaku managed a weak smile and an even weaker wave. "Hello Ms. Vi Britannia."
Lelouch took a quick look around. The bibles were open, he and Suzaku weren't all over each other (any more) and the blanket covered up Suzaku's still-hard erection and the hand Lelouch had wrapped around it.
They were safe.
Charles came up behind Marianne, draping one arm over her shoulder. "Afternoon boys."
"Good afternoon, Mr. zi Britannia," Suzaku managed. Charles grunted appreciatively before turning to Lelouch.
"No greeting for your father?"
"What are you doing here?" Lelouch demanded. Suzaku hissed wordlessly at him, a warning to behave, and Lelouch's resentment doubled.
He'd been about to get off with Suzaku. He had every reason to be peeved, and just because Suzaku was an obedient little wuss…
Lelouch swallowed a grin. He'd see how strong Suzaku's self-controlled politeness was.
Charles, meanwhile, let himself glare at his son now that he had an excuse. "I don't have to explain myself to you, Lelouch." He moved into the room, close enough that Lelouch wondered if he could smell the faint musk of sweat and sex that he and Suzaku had managed to work up before they were interrupted. "What passages are you doing?"
"Corinthians, sir," Suzaku said, the last word coming out almost like a yelp as Lelouch swiped his thumb over the head of Suzaku's cock.
Charles grunted in approval, not noticing the yelp. "Excellent. Paul's voice has always been the voice of the church."
"Y-yes, sir," Suzaku agreed, his voice shaking just a little as Lelouch started a slow, subtle pace, moving his hand up Suzaku's shaft, pausing at the head, them moving down.
"One might say the true voice of the church was Jesus Christ's," Lelouch said blandly, careful not to let his hand make any squelching noises. "But I suppose you'd lose out a lot of the misogyny and homophobia that way."
"Even the Old Testament forbids men from lying with men as they do with women."
"It also forbids shrimp and blended fibres," Lelouch pointed out. "And before you make the 'natural law' argument, you and I both know the Old Testament predates that philisophocal idea."
Charles shook his head and turned away. "This is why you need further study. The Word comes to you and you turn it away with semantics."
"You forced me to choose between my belief and my self. You forced me into a constant," here Lelouch tugged hard on Suzaku's cock, making him bite back a groan, "war with my desires and my faith. And just because I chose faith, just because I prefer Suzaku's company to all the boys I've had in the past, doesn't mean it's not hard." He dragged his nails lightly up the underside of Suzaku's cock, just along the vein, and was rewarded by a renewed spurt of precome. "It's very hard." Suzaku whimpered softly. "And this just makes" Lelouch teased the tip "everything" Suzaku went rigid "much more" Lelouch's voice dipped lower, into the register he used when ordering Suzaku to come "hard."
Suzaku made a soft, squeaky noise and spilled into Lelouch's hand. Lelouch felt like he was more alive than he'd ever been before, the anger at his father mixing with the victory over Suzaku, the delight in making him come mingled with the desire to take him, just bend him over and take his own pleasure from Suzaku. It felt like there was electricity under his skin, like he wanted to tear it off and pour himself into Suzaku until they were truly one person.
He felt divine.
"Are you all right, dear?" Marianne asked. Suzaku nodded and swallowed hard a few times.
"Fine, ma'am. Just a little… uncomfortable."
"Of course you are." Marianne's tone was both understanding and suddenly commanding. "Dear, let's leave the boys alone. You and Lelouch can… talk later."
Suzaku sighed in relief as they left.
"I want to fuck you so hard," Lelouch said under his breath the moment they were alone again. Suzaku gaped at him, unable to believe that Lelouch was being like this moments after he'd just jerked Suzaku off in front of his parents, while complaining about how hard it was to follow the tenets of a faith he very aggressively wasn't following.
Of even more concern was how Suzaku's body, still tingly from his orgasm, clenched and relaxed eagerly in response to Lelouch's hungry words.
Lelouch grinned, picking up Suzaku's discomfort, and the reason for it. "Yeah, you want it too, don't you? My hand wasn't enough, was it, Suzaku? We were supposed to have all afternoon together, to fuck and play and fuck again. And now…"
Suzaku kissed him. It was, often, the only way to shut Lelouch up. Mostly, Suzaku loved Lelouch's voice, whether he was taunting or commanding or teasing, or even just talking, Lelouch's voice was like aural silk – rich and decadent and Suzaku wanted to wrap himself up in it.
But, sometimes, Lelouch's mouth got so filthy or so inappropriate (or, as in this case, both) that Suzaku had to stop him. And if he couldn't fill Lelouch's mouth with his cock, he could at least busy it with a kiss.
Lelouch laughed into the kiss, despite the fact that Suzaku could feel just how aroused and ready he was. "My parents are in the other room," he murmured against Suzaku's lips. "If they catch us…"
"Then be quiet," Suzaku said, cupping Lelouch through his pants. "If you can."
"God, I love you," Lelouch swore as fervently as any prophet of the Lord. "Suzaku, I… ungh…"
Suzaku pressed Lelouch back against the armrest of the loveseat, kissing him hard and moving his hand in fast, practiced motions that had Lelouch gasping and writhing beneath him within moments, twisting to get relief or release or whatever his body craved.
He shouldn't have worried. Suzaku wasn't a tease. He'd give Lelouch whatever he wanted, as hard and as fast as he wanted.
And in return, he wanted only one thing. "C'mon, Lelouch. Give it up, love, give it to me, everything, you know you want to." Lelouch whimpered and stiffened under Suzaku, and Suzaku knew it would be soon. "That's right, in your pants, make a mess for me, make a gorgeous mess."
Lelouch arched against Suzaku's hand, and Suzaku felt the pulse of wetness even through Lelouch's underwear and pants. He gave a soft whimper, and Suzaku laughed, licking up a tear that had escaped Lelouch's eye in his frustration.
"You said you loved me."
Lelouch replayed the last few minutes in his mind, his eyes widening as he realized Suzaku was right. "I didn't… heat of the moment… I…"
"…love me," Suzaku finished for him. "It's okay, Lelouch."
Lelouch covered his face with his hands. Since the summer he hadn't slept with or even looked at another boy, he'd gone out of his way to spend time with Suzaku, and not only for sex, he'd even fought to bring Suzaku into his life, despite the awkwardness when Euphy flirted with him or Charles seemed to approve of him. He felt better with Suzaku than without him, happy knowing he was going to see him, regretful when they parted.
If that wasn't love, what was?
"Dammit."
Suzaku laughed and kissed Lelouch's forehead. "I love you too, you know."
"Yes, I know," Lelouch groused. "That's half the problem."
"And the other half?" Suzaku asked, teasingly.
Lelouch looked at him for a long moment, and then smiled. "Stay for supper, why don't you?"
And that was how Suzaku ended up trying to have a conversation with Euphemia while eating roast chicken and potatoes with Lelouch's foot massaging his crotch.
And, also, how Lelouch developed a taste for semi-public sex, as well as for the study of the holy bible.