Chapter 2
Lanna watched Fett reaching out for the rusty tin, and with a sudden felt as if her body was compressed until her feet were directly under her chin. Then she was stretched and bent backwards until the whole galaxy ears encompassed between her back and legs, with her feet hooked behind her ears. Her feet snapped back under her chin again violently before she found herself back in her normal shape.
Blinking her eyes in the suddenly bright light, Lanna realized she was clutching Fett's hand to the point of breaking bones. Lowering the pressure, she said, "Seems as if it really was a portkey. Though I never heard of one that could make it to this place."
Lanna glanced around the place she had believed existed only in holonovels. They stood in the yard of an old castle, the main building towering up in front of them, towers placed at each corner of the walled yard. Lanna craned her neck to confirm that, letting her gaze sweep over the roman arches of the windows and the greyish tiles on the pointed roofs. But then, she thought, magic is pretty hard to come by, not only on Morak, but anywhere in the galaxy. Then she turned her attention back to Fett, wondering how a school, could keep such an impeccable lawn. Probably the reason Filch is always so grumpy, he never sees the end of lawn-repair-spells.
"This seems to be Hogwarts," she said. "A magical school full of wizards and wizard wannabes, if I remember correctly. And if we didn't apparate after it was closed."
"Hubwards?" Fett wondered. "I thought that was a direction?"
"Wrong holonovel," Lanna explained. "And believe me, we don't want to go there if it can be helped. Apart from being more nuts than almonds the wizards there are also rather incompetent."
"Unlike here," Fett commented.
Lanna nodded. The yard was empty except for them and a few pupils in formal cloaks rushing about as if they were about to miss the fun of their lives. "All right," Lanna began. "Let's…"
She broke off and stared across the yard where an adult wizard came storming out of the castle. His long blond hair was gathered in his neck by a black velvet ribbon, and his cloak had passed the final exam of 'Billowing Dramatically for Experts' with an A+. The man's face was red with anger, and the way he glared did not speak of good mood either.
"That is Lucuis Malfoy," Lanna whispered, her eyes glazing over. Her mouth opened without her noticing, as she stared at the approaching wizard.
"Lucius Who?" Fett wanted to know.
"Malfoy," Lanna said without thinking. "And you should see him, when he's not that flushed by anger," she added with a little sigh.
"Can be done," Fett replied.
A blaster bolt catching Malfoy in mid-stride, brought Lanna back to her senses. "What….?" She turned to look at Fett, who casually holstered his weapon again.
"I don't think he'll look flushed like that," he simply said.
"You cannot walk around and randomly shoot wizards, especially not on the grounds of a school!" Lanna couldn't believe it. "What will the headmaster say? I was counting on his support!"
Her shouting attracted the attention of one of the passing pupils that looked unbelieving from her to the corpse and to Fett. Then he ran away as if Lord Vader himself was after him, and Lanna put her hand softly on Boba's arm when he tried to follow.
"Let him. It might not look very friendly if went charging after him." She glanced at the late Lord Malfoy. "I really wish you hadn't done that."
"Can't help it." Boba replied. "It's in the potion."
The door opened again, and a woman approached them with purposeful strides, her whole bearing emanating deep indignation. She peered at them over the rim of her glasses, before she demanded to know what happened. Typical teacher, Lanna thought. I bet everybody in the universe has had at least one teacher of the McGonagall type.
"Mr Fett here shot Lord Malfoy," Lanna tried to explain, pointing at the dead man. "He's under a strong potion we need to break, and I was actually hoping to find help here, but-" Lanna broke off sheepishly.
"The potion made him do that?"
Lanna and Fett both nodded, and seeing the disbelief on Mrs. McGonagall's face Lanna said, "It was made by a wizard who called himself 'Magic Mortimer', he also left the portkey that brought us here. You have not by chance heard of him?"
"I will ignore you attempt to divert from the problem at hand Ms -" she looked at Lanna questioningly.
"Lanna," the aforementioned supplied quickly. "Mahalia Lanna. And his name is Boba Fett," she added pointing at the bounty hunter.
"Very well, Ms Lanna and Mr Fett." Mrs McGonagall looked them up and down, her face full of indignations and suspicion. "You will have to answer for the murder, potion or no."
"Yes, I think we'd better talk to the head master," Lanna conceded.
"And the expert for potions, too. " Fett added. The stare of Mrs McGonagall didn't seem to bother him at all. Lanna suspected it simply bounced off the helmet. "After all we are here to undo a potion, so his presence would spare us a lot of double explanations."
"If this potion is really affecting the actions of you, Mr Fett, then it must have been made by a wizard more crafty in potions than I have heard about. It must have been really potent."
"Oh, believe me it's killer," Lanna sighed. Then she turned to meet the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, who arrived just a little faster than dignity allowed. After another round of introductions it was agreed that she and Fett were to follow Dumbledore to his office while Mrs McGonagall went to fetch the potions' teacher.
In the office Lanna flopped down on the first available chair. With little interest she glanced at the moving headmasters in the pictures, some of them whispering urgently with each other and pointing at Fett, her and the general direction of the deceased Mr Malfoy a lot. Lanna closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. If only, she thought, if only…
But, of course, only didn't happen. Fett sat down next to her, crossing his ankles and, of course, folding his arms over his chest. Dumbledore was talking softly to his phoenix that was gurgling excitedly. Just when he turned to face them again, the door opened and Mrs McGonagall entered followed by - Severus Snape. Lanna could feel her inner fangirl beginning to surface, and a subtle shift in Fett's position told her that the bounty hunter could read her like an open book.
"Good thinking, Sherlock!" Lanna hissed. "Just keep your hormones under control, and try to remember that he's worth more alive than dead to you."
"I will take it into consideration," Fett answered flatly.
"Great," Lanna muttered. "Just great."
The wizards seemed not to have noticed their little exchange. After they all were seated Dumbledore spoke up.
"I understand that Mr Fett here has just shot Lucius Malfoy without any provocation in the school yard." He peered over the rim of his glasses at the bounty hunter.
"It was not his fault," Lanna spoke up immediately. "He is under the influence of a very strong love potion, there is nothing he can do about it."
Dumbledore watched them both attentively over the rim of his glasses. "I don't think so," he finally said. "The potion might have created something close to love, but the peculiarity it seems to have developed in Mr. Fett is al his own." He fixed his gaze on the bounty hunter. "You simply are fiercely possessive of what you consider yours. You might want to reconsider your attitude."
Great, Lanna thought. Let's just hope they don't charge extra for psychological help, and that Fett doesn't charge due to feeling insulted. Fortunately, the bounty hunter seemed to ignore the statement. "So you want to put him on trail for that incident, anyway?" she asked aloud.
"We all have to bear the consequences of our actions," Dumbledore replied, still looking at Fett.
"Fine," Lanna conceded. "But could we please try to undo that potion first, before any more causalities happen?" She shot a pleading glance at the wizards.
Snape steepled his fingers, scowling at them over the tips. "If you know nothing more about that potion," he sneered, "this might take a while."
Lanna clamped her mouth shut, before a snappy remark about Snape and love potions could escape her lips. "Can't we just stuff a bezoar down his throat and be done?" she asked instead.
The eyes of all teachers turned to her with interest, only Snape rolled his eyes in exasperation. "That is for poison," he explained in the slow tones reserved for the unnaturally dumb. "The difference may mean nothing to you, or even your spell-check, but I dare guess that if you didn't care for the end Mr. Fett comes to, you would have tried using poison instead of potion long ago."
"It might work, if Mr. Fett is dying slowly off the potion," Dumbledore tried to mediate.
"Not him," Lanna murmured softly, trying hard neither to blush, nor to look at Snape. "Not him."
"We will ask other experts in the field for help, if necessary," Mrs. MacGonagall decided. "The Ministry will be interested in this case, anyway."
"No need," Lanna declined. "If Snape can't find the answer, it's not here." Again all eyes turned towards her, except for Boba's whose had never left.
"Is that so?" Dumbledore asked softly. "And how do you know this?"
"He's just the best," Lanna said flatly. "If potion masters had royalty, he'd be a prince - at least. It's in his blood."
Snape inhaled sharply and glared at Lanna, though he seemed to agree with her assessment of his abilities.
"Your trust in our Master of Potions is flattering, but I will do what I think right nevertheless," Dumbledore replied. After a glance to Professor Snape he continued, "I hope you understand."
"No problem," Lanna assured him. "You do what you must do, and I'll watch Professor Snape while he tests some antidotes on Mr. Fett." Her eye-batting was almost audible.
The wizards exchanged glances until each nodded. "You can follow Professor Snape to his office," Dumbledore said, "but you will not go alone. My phoenix, Fawkes, will have an eye on you."
"They ward of evil, if I remember correctly," Lanna replied. "Might be a necessary ability." She stood up and headed to the door. "What? Everybody glued to their seats? Let's get this done, right?" Not waiting for an answer she opened the door and left. She got almost halfway down the stairs before Fett caught up with her, trailed by Fawkes who watched them out of his tiny eyes.
"Snape?" Lanna sasked, without slowing down.
"Fuming, but coming," Fett answered, catching up with her. "He does not seem to be happy about having to help us."
"So what? We're not here to make wizards happy - though in his case I'd probably make an exception - we're here to get that potion unmade." Lanna paused. "Let's hope he will pay attention to the difference between potion and poison."
Snape finally caught up with them at the foot of the stairs, and Lanna had to agree with Fett's assessment. Snape was positively seething. He glared at all of them, including the phoenix, and strode off. Lanna and Fett followed hastily, and the bird flew back and forth between them as if it had to keep them together. It fluttered over their heads until Lanna had to suppress the strong urge to whack it out of the air with a fly flap.
"I'm not intending to be fast about my help at all," Snape said suddenly. "I think it would be waste of a good antidote, if you get convicted anyway." He sneered at Fett, who seemed to consider the implications.
"So you're cooperation is only an act?" he asked politely.
Scowling Snape turned to face him. "You have just shot Lucius Malfoy, and want cooperation from me? You must really have come from a place far far away."
Fett stood still for a moment, and Lanna was already very much afraid of the conclusions he had drawn and the action that would ensue. Please, don't, she prayed and took hold of Fett's right arm. To her amazement, he simply put it around her waist.
"You know there will be consequences, if you refuse," his filtered voice said calmly.
Snape snorted. "As if anything Dumbledore or the Ministry are about would interest me."
"It was not them, I was talking about," Fett said, and before he even reached the last word, he had his left arm up, and small bolt caught the wizard in the chest. The phoenix gurgled loudly and flew off at high speed, most likely for help.
Lanna freed herself from the bounty hunter's grip and glared at him. "I think you took into consideration that he could help us?" Lanna snapped.
"He was of no use to us anymore," Fett stated
"Boba!" Lanna shouted and forgetting in her anger even to try inflicting physical harm to the bounty hunter.
"I know I shouldn't have done that," Fett said, coming to a halt, too. "It's against my principles to kill people without getting paid for it."
"Oh, shut up and run!" Lanna snapped, seeing the first wizards appearing in search for them. She took the first stairs she saw running up without thinking. Unfortunately, using the stairs was not as easy as she had hoped. Fett caught up to her, having to jump the growing distance between the stairs and the landing, as the flight of stairs began to move ponderously across the hall. They didn't stop to see where their new destination was. When they reached the landing they took another stair that led up, not caring for the direction this time.
It seemed that not even the wizards could control the moving stairways. Soon they were all over the hall, since the stairs did not only change direction but also whether they led up or down on a whim. Lanna gave up trying to guess where each new flight of stairs would put them and simply hoped it would be far away from any pursuit.
"Look!" Lanna pointed into the air. The phoenix had taken to circling them, and thus giving their position away rather well in all the chaos. "Do something!" Lanna commanded.
Fett aimed his flamethrower at the circling bird and fried it out of the air. Unbelieving, Lanna watched the phoenix burst into a flying fireball and only by chance saw a small very egg-like looking thing that followed the call of gravity.
"I thought they were reborn in fire?" she wondered aloud.
"They die and are then reborn," Fett corrected. Then looking down at the place where the egg had met the ground rather terminally he added, "Mostly."
They ran up the flight of stairs, unaccountably ending at the same wall they had started off from. With all the stairs moving around at random, the pursuers had spread almost evenly throughout the stairwell that would have made even Escher wince and get dead drunk.
"They are everywhere," Lanna commented while they grabbed a ride on the next stair. "What plan do you have for situations like this?"
"Not getting into them," Fett replied. He glanced over his shoulder. "We acquired a blind passenger," he warned her.
Lanna didn't turn, but simply tried to speed up a bit. "DO something, will you?" She told Fett as she went past him.
"You are the whiz kid here," Fett retorted. "Magic was your idea, so do something yourself."
"Whatever you say," Lanna snapped back. She turned, grabbed the antenna at Boba's rocket pack, and yanked it off. Then she turned and pointed it at their closest pursuer, who happened to be Filch, cat inclusive.
"Retro!" Lanna shouted, not knowing any useful spells and doubting they'd work anyway, but right now willing to try everything.
But Filch didn't slow down the least, not mentioning flying backwards down the stairs. Instead, the thin filthy hair suddenly turned into the largest afro-curl imitation Lanna had ever seen. At the same time, the shabby clothing was substituted by a glaringly silver and gold glitter blazer, a shirt that showed definitely too much curly chest hair and jeans with bell bottoms the size of a Hutt. Nothing of that was very helpful, except of the plateau boots that suddenly rose 30 centimetres under Filch's feet and made him stumble and fall with the very next step.
Unbelieving, Lanna stared at the result of her spell. "Run!" she ordered then, grabbing Fett's arm and hasting on.
"Impressive, most impressive," Fett commented. "Even the cat had afro-curls and glitter all over it."
"Oh, shut up! Let's find somewhere to hide, or at least a window to climb out off."
They jumped from the moving stair to a random landing somewhere far up. Lanna didn't even try to imagine what would have happened if she had calculated the jump wrong.
"There are no doors here," Fett called to her half way down the corridor.
"There must be some! " Lanna replied desperately out of breath. "There just have too, we need one!" She peered intently at the walls, as if she could make a room appear with sheer willpower. But there was only walls and tapestries. Fleetingly Lanna wondered who'd want pictures of goblins in tutus, except in a torture chamber for aficionados of art, maybe.
Suddenly, there was a door.
"In here!" she shouted yanking it open. Fett turned on his heels, was past her in a moment, and she slammed the door shut. Then she looked around for anything to bar it with. But the room looked like nothing one would expect in a castle. It seemed to be small and have windows in two walls, which was just impossible. Additionally, it seemed to be a very rudimentary kitchen.
"Where are we?", Lanna wondered aloud.
"Well, Lanna, I don't think we're in Hogwarts anymore," Fett replied.
---------------------------------------
One after another the wizards arrived in front of the Room of Requirement. The door was wide open, but the room itself was empty. Nothing adorned the stone walls and floor, the only window let only dim light through its smudgy glass.