Thanks to Reader101w, Katsumara, MrDrP, Enterprise CV-6, CajunBear73, laranzu, readerjunkie, Sentinel103 and Eddy13 for their kind reviews, and Merry Christmas to all! You may now open your Christmas present to the next installment…
Kim and Ron immediately donned their mission outfits, promising Kim's parents that they'd be back as soon as possible. Ron, however, still had his doubts as to the wisdom of Kim's choice of recipient.
"Are you sure you want to do this, KP? We've all finally graduated, and hopefully our paths will never cross again. We may be opening a gorchy can of worms as soon as she opens up that fruitcake. You have no idea what evil mojo you might be setting in motion."
Kim shot him a look through hooded eyes. "Okay, then how about Mr. Barkin instead?"
Ron's mouth dropped open. "Hey, have a heart, KP! I still have to work with him at Smarty Mart, ya know."
Kim gave him her Shego smile.
Ron winced, "Ooh, you know how that freaks me out, Kim."
He let out a sigh of resignation. "Okay, you win. Let's get this over with."
They stealthily approached the front door, taking care to stay in the shadows. Ron stepped down on a stick in the darkness, causing a loud snap. Both of them froze for an instant before quietly continuing.
Kim whispered, "Ron, I know there aren't any traps, lasers or force fields we have to break through, but we really have to keep quiet. We can't risk letting her see us."
Ron grinned back at her. "No problemo, KP. I've got an idea. Allow me."
They both took cover behind some bushes in the front yard. Ron began to glow a faint blue, which actually blended right in with the blue icicle lights which hung from the rafters of their target's house. Using his Mystical Monkey Power, he carefully levitated the fruitcake onto the porch, ringing the doorbell with the evil gift and dropping it onto the doormat. Then they both waited.
A young college-age girl opened the door, immediately spotting the carefully rewrapped package. She smiled as she bent down and picked it up. Looking curiously around, she tried to spot the mysterious gift giver, but without success. She quickly went back inside, closing the door behind her.
Ron whispered, "Wait for it…"
A terrific scream from within pierced the silent night. The front door was flung open as a very upset Bonnie Rockwaller stormed back out onto the porch and angrily yelled into the darkness.
"The loser who gave me this is in so much trouble!"
She stomped back inside, slamming the door behind her.
Ron smiled back at Kim.
"A piece of cake, Kim."
Kim winced at the pun, but still smiled back at her BFBF. "Spankin,' Ron! High school evil gets a Christmas payback. Now let's go home."
She huskily whispered in his ear, "And I think I hear some mistletoe calling our name."
Ron perked right up. "Booyah! Right back at you, KP!"
More screams of frustration could be heard from the house as the pair melted back into the night.
Inside, Bonnie continued to fume. "If I ever catch whoever gave this to me, I will so make them pay!"
She began to calm down as she tried to think of what to do with the repulsive gift. "Hmm. Still Christmas Eve, and it's real dark out there."
A sly grin came over her face. "Well, I guess one evil turn deserves another. And I have just the target."
She quickly changed into her darkest outfit, replaced the name tag on the gift and jumped into her car. Within a few minutes she had arrived at her destination.
A light was on in the living room of the modest home, where the sound of a Christmas special could be heard on the TV inside. She quickly placed the fruitcake on the porch, rang the doorbell and raced back to her car, roaring off before the occupant had a chance to open the door.
Bonnie snickered, "This'll teach him to spring a pop quiz on the last day of school before graduation…"
Mr. Barkin gruffly opened his front door only to spot a car speeding off into the distance.
"Darn high school punks and their doorbell-ringing pranks! Well, I guess its time to use my Smarty Mart discount and buy that new security system I've been meaning to get."
He was about to close the door when he spotted the colorful package. His face brightened as he picked the box up.
"Well, how thoughtful. I guess I shouldn't have jumped so quickly to any conclusions. I wonder what it is?"
But as he opened the gift, his face darkened again in consternation. He growled, "That's it! Forget the security system. I'm buying an attack dog!"
He went back inside and grumbled to himself, "It took me 25 years to get rid of that last fruitcake. Serves me right for keeping it as a war trophy, I guess. But now who am I going to give this one to? I ran out of possible victims… er, recipients the last time."
He tapped his chin in thought as he wracked his brain for even the slightest possibility. He snapped his fingers as a single name popped into his mind. He recalled reading about a certain villainess who had just been released from prison.
"Hmm. It's a long shot, but anything's worth a try."
He typed in the name on his computer, and soon had an address.
"Yes! And as luck would have it, she's living close by. Sweet…"
A half an hour later, he arrived at his destination, a cheerfully decorated house on the outskirts of Lowerton. Dressed in his old army fatigues and with his face camouflaged with paint, he snuck onto the darkened porch.
He smiled to himself and thought, "When it comes to stealth, no one can beat Lt. Barkin. Just like Operation Nutmeg, 25 years ago…"
He froze in surprise as the porch light was suddenly flipped on, coming face to face with the equally surprised resident.
"Stevie? Is that you?"
Barkin found himself staring directly into the eyes of DNAmy.
Her effusive smile widened, revealing the trademark gap between her two front teeth. "What on earth are you doing here, you little rascal!"
He tried to think quickly, but only managed to stammer out, "Uh, just dropping by with your Christmas present. Heard you were, uh, out on parole. Just wanted to say no hard feelings for genetically fusing me with that naked mole rat of Stoppable's. Merry Christmas!"
He thrust the gift into her hand and raced toward his car.
"Wait, Stevie! I can make us some hot cocoa!"
But with a squeal of tires, he roared off in his desperate attempt to get away as fast as possible.
"Hmm. I wonder why that naughty, naughty man had to just run off like that? And why was he gallivanting around in that green and black makeup? That's so not his color. Oh well…"
DNAmy went back inside and opened her gift. She let out a little yelp when she saw what it was.
"Why, that meanie! Inflicting a fruitcake on a poor defenseless ex-con trying to make a new start in life."
But a curious look began to appear on her face as she began to recall something. "But on the other hand…"
She hurried downstairs to her secret genetics lab and quickly pulled an ancient scroll from the shelf. She had obtained it from Monkey Fist's former servant, Bates, just the day before. Quickly blowing the dust from the mystical manuscript, she began eagerly reading.
"Yes… yes! The very ingredients listed here are the same as those in a fruitcake!"
She gazed longingly over at the statue of Montgomery Fiske that she had carefully stored away in the basement before her most recent incarceration.
"Ooh, honey-bunny! It's time to come back to Momma!"
A few minutes later, Monkey Fist stumbled out of DNAmy's Genomic Sequencer amidst a huge cloud of smoke.
DNAmy purred, "Well, hello there, sugar booger!"
Monkey Fist looked aghast at the lovesick geneticist. "What in the world am I doing here? The last thing I remember, I was dusting off a shelf for the hundredth time in Yono's temple."
He winced as DNAmy laughed. Her cackle was like fingernails down a chalkboard.
"It seems that I've brought you back from the dead, sweetums. You can thank my Genomic Sequencer, a mystical scroll I got from Bates, and a small piece of fruitcake."
He was thankful to be alive again, but the memory of being relentlessly pursued by DNAmy made him reconsider if he hadn't been better off back in Yono's mystical lair. Suddenly, he began to feel a strange sensation.
"Well, that's all fine and good, but suddenly I feel like a piece of fruitcake."
She giggled, "There's plenty more of it if you really want a piece. I only needed to use a smidge to reanimate you."
"No, I mean I actually feel like a piece of fruitcake. It's an odd sensation."
DNAmy clapped her hands together in glee. "Well, if it brought you back to life, you should be thankful, shouldn't you, honey bunny?"
"This is Christmas, not Thanksgiving, my lovesick loon. But it does remind me of another ancient scroll that I read once, perchance."
His face brightened with the evil possibilities. He grabbed the fruitcake and ran for the door.
"Thanks nevertheless, however. But evil monkey business awaits! So, tah-tah for now…"
And with that, he escaped as quickly as his monkey paws could take him.
24 hours later, Monkey Fist stopped in front of a non-descript Tokyo storefront. He compared the Kanji inscription on the sign to the scroll he held tightly in his hand, and smiled.
"Yes, this must be the place. Embarrassment Ninjas have always had a unique logo, and this scroll matches the advertisement perfectly."
He cheerfully entered the establishment and asked the receptionist, "Your manager, please?"
She politely asked, "And who may I say wishes to see him?"
"An old friend, and with a lucrative business proposition."
She bowed slightly and disappeared into the adjoining office. A moment later, a young but hardened ninja appeared directly behind him, as if out of nowhere.
"And who might you be, outsider?"
Monkey Fist quickly spun around at the sound of the ninja's voice. "Ah, Fukushima, my dear friend! Long time no see. So, how have you been?"
Fukushima remained motionless, his face revealing no emotion. But his eyes were like two hot coals that seemed to burn their way into Monkey Fist's very soul.
"Monkey Fist. The person responsible for my being expelled from Yamanouchi. State your business."
"I have a wonderful proposition for you, my dear ninja. One that might even lead to a bit of revenge for your pleasure and edification, just to sweeten the deal."
Fukushima still did not move. "I have been able to overcome most of the dishonor from my last ill-fated adventure with you by joining the Embarrassment Ninjas. Through hard work, I have even become their manager. It has become somewhat lucrative, so I am not willing to take a risk on any ill-advised undertaking that would endanger my present success."
Monkey Fist nodded. "Yes, of course. But what if it involved some payback, shall we say, to a certain secret ninja school?"
Fukushima's eyes widened almost imperceptibly.
"Go on."
"A particular item has recently come into my possession that might allow us to breach the walls of that haughty academy of higher education, and enable me to regain the Lotus Blade. It would not only be a significant embarrassment to Yamanouchi, but you'd also be well paid for your efforts."
Fukushima began to smile as his eyes began to burn even more fiercely. He motioned to the next room and said, "Won't you please step into my office?"
Monkey Fist bowed his head, rubbing his monkey paws together in evil glee.
And what devious plans can this reunion portend? Just stay tuned for the next episode… Merry Christmas to all!