YUGIOH
A Match Made in Heaven?
Chapter 2.
Joey and Kaiba made it to school. As Kaiba continued to class, pretending not to care for him, Joey stopped at his locker.
"Hi, Joey!!" A strange woman said, who showed up out of no where.
Joey turned, wondering who this person was. For some reason, she looked like the most perfect person in the entire universe....even though he didn't know why.
All the kids in school seemed to drool going by her, wishing she would focus on them. Yet, she only seemed to have eyes for Joey.
"Uh....how do you know my name?" Joey asked. "And, who are you?"
"Me?" She asked, perhaps too sweetly. "Why, my name is Mary Sue!"
"AHHH!!!" Joey screamed, suddenly terrified by the creature next to him. He then paused, saying, "Wait a minute....this aint a Mary Sue story. It's a Joey/Kaiba story!"
"Oh, I know that." She replied. "I'm actually one of those author-created people who are just put into a story to make you and Kaiba jealous."
"What do you mean?" Joey asked.
"Well....if I'm all over you, then Kaiba will be jealous and think you're interested in me, instead." She said, smiling fakely.
"Why would you want to do that?" Joey asked.
She answered, "I don't know. I'm bored, I guess."
He then added, "Plus, this whole idea don't even make any sense. I mean....I'm into guys. Why would that even work? And how did you even know that me and Kaiba are together in the first place?"
She shrugged, stating, "Hey, I didn't write the plot."
"So, what happens if your attempt doesn't work?" Joey asked.
She replied, "Well, then I hang all over Kaiba and make you jealous."
"That's it, I'm outta here!" Joey said, stalking away. He then yelled back, "And stay away from my boyfriend!!"
She gave a giggle, assuming her 'plan' was working, and skipped to class, herself.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Joey made it to class, fuming with anger and jealousy about that woman, even though it didn't make any sense to be jealous over her. His friends weren't very surprised since Joey always seemed to be fuming over something. Yet, there 'was' something that did seem to concern them.
"Joey, are you okay?" Yugi asked. "What happened to you? How did you get all those bruises all over you?"
"Yeah." Tea said. "And why do you seem to have constant bruises on you almost every day?"
Yugi then asked, "And why does it look like you have bits of makeup on your face?"
From the questions, Joey looked immediately frightened that they may finally find out his secret that his Dad abuses him constantly.
Tristan laughed, slapping his hand on Joey's shoulder, which made him flinch since there were bruises there, too. "You know Joey, always getting into fights and dressing up as a clown. That's really clown make-up, isn't it Joey?"
"Uh....yeah. Clown makeup. Cuz I'm such a clown. Ha. Ha." Joey fakely said, not sounding convincing in the least.
But Yugi nodded, totally believing it. "Of course! We totally believe you!" He said, without even a questioning thought in his head.
Tea said, "You shouldn't let yourself get into so many fights, Joey. And you should also try some bolder colors for that makeup. That blush color on you works better for mimes or cheap hookers."
Joey swallowed, "I'll keep that in mind."
"By the way." Yugi smiled. "You know you can't hide anything from us, Joey. You and Kaiba are seeing each other, aren't you?"
Joey just gaped, trying to figure out how his friends could be so clueless about his problems with his Dad, and yet could so easily tell that him and Kaiba were an item.
Tea nodded, "And I bet you moved in with him too, huh?"
"And you also slept with him, didn't you?" Tristan grinned, elbowing Joey.
Tea giggled, saying, "Oh, definitely. Look at him....he has that glow!"
"What the fuck, man! How the hell do you guys know all that???" Joey asked, trying to figure out how everyone seemed to know about this, even though it was being kept a secret.
Yugi replied, "You can't fool us!"
Joey just gaped. Finally, he spat. "Wait a minute....I've been beaten and abused by my Dad since I was ten, and you guys can't even figure that out! And yet, you can suddenly tell everything about my love life??"
Immediately after, Joey slapped his hand on his mouth, realizing he basically admitted his past problems to his friends that he was trying to keep secret.
Tristan looked panicky, and yet both Yugi and Tea began to laugh. Tea said, "Wow, that's a good clown act, Joey."
"Yeah." Yugi agreed. "You're a natural!"
Just then, the bell rang....even though it seemed like it just rang for them a minute ago to start class. They got up, now all heading to the hall for their second class. Yugi went with Tea, saying, "We're going to our lockers....see you at lunch, Joey!"
Joey half waved, unable to believe that despite admitting almost everything to his friends, they still didn't get it. 'They can't be 'that' stupid!'
Tristan grabbed Joey, once again making him flinch. "Whew....that was close. Good thinking with that clown act to throw them off. But, you better be careful man, or they might start to suspect."
"What clown act?! I just told them everything!" Joey said.
Tristan then smacked him on the back, making Joey whimper, and laughed himself. "Man, you are a natural, Joey. We'll see you at lunch. Unless you're going to see your boyfriend, you dog!" Tristan then laughed and walked away.
Joey just shook his head. 'Is the whole world really that clueless??'
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
After school, Joey took his school backpack and began to walk towards Kaiba's....which was now also his home.
He stepped into the road and pulled out a pack of cigarettes to smoke, even though there was no clue in this story that he even smoked up until now. Suddenly, he heard someone cry, "Look out!" And turned to see....a steam roller coming right at him!
"Ahhh!!!" Joey cried, but couldn't leave the street because he was still smoking a cigarette. "Can't move! Busy smoking cigarette!!" He cried in exasperation.
"Look out!" That same random person cried in a panic, as the person inside the steam roller gave off an evil laugh and continued to barrel towards him.
"What can I do?? I have a cigarette, so I still can't leave the road!" Joey cried in fear.
This scene continued a good 15 minutes until the snail-moving steam roller finally reached him and slowly ran him over.
Poor Joey, and he had almost finished his cigarette.
After running him over, the person came out and shot him multiple times with a gun....just for safe measures.
Joey then stood and said, "Oh, no....I'm blind!!"
The attacker blinked, and said, "Uh....dude. I just shot you and ran you over with a steam roller. I think your eyes should be the least of your worries."
"No, the accident made me blind!" Joey cried. "Now I might need a million dollar operation to get my eyes back, just like my sister!"
The guy shook his head, saying, "If what I did caused your eyes to go, I doubt an operation could fix them. Besides....you've been shot and ran over! What the hell does that have to do with your eyes???"
"You're right." Joey suddenly said. "Hey, I can see again! It's a miracle!"
Joey then looked down at himself to see the multiple shot wounds and the fact that he looked like a pile of mashed potatoes again. He turned to the guy, and asked, "Why 'did' you do this, anyway?"
The guy looked away sheepishly, muttering, "Well....the author kinda got bored and didn't know where to go with the story. So, they threw in a nice angst scene to try and add a little excitement to the whole thing."
"What??" Joey exclaimed. "I was shot and ran over, because the author was bored??!!" Joey then reached beyond the camera and yanked the fearful female author partially into the scene.
"Cut the shit, and get back to the damn plot, all ready!!" Joey snapped.
"Okay, Okay!" Clarity said. "Yeesh....talk about a rough crowd."
Miraculously, Joey was as good as new with absolutely no signs of panicked people, steam rollers, or any evidence that anyone had been shot.
Satisfied that all was normal, Joey continued on his way to his lover's mansion, which he could now call home.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Joey was finally there. As he went through the gates, he also noticed the limo was there. 'That's great!' Joey thought. 'That means Kaiba's home!'
Before he went inside though, Joey noticed a cat running across the lawn, and cried out, "Kaiba, is that you? Oh, no....how did you become a cat??"
Joey then bent down and pet the purring feline, asking, "Did you fall into a cursed magical pool that changed you, did someone use a Millenium Item to do this to you, you were maybe a cat all along and I never noticed, or maybe you're really a were cat!!"
"Joey, I'm in here!" Kaiba called from inside the house.
"Oh...." Joey then ignored the cat, as he sheepishly continued to walk in the house.
He opened the door, happily crying out, "Hey, Seto....I'm ho-....." And gaped at the sight before him.
In the front entrée way, Kaiba seemed to be painting. Laying down next to him was a man with an open wound in his chest. Kaiba was taking a paint brush, dipping it into the guy and painting the walls with his blood.
After Joey had picked his jaw up off the floor, he exclaimed, "What the hell are you doing??!!"
Kaiba turned to him and said, "Shhh! This is a secret. Mokuba doesn't know about this little hobby."
"Hobby??!! How often do you kill people and paint the walls with their blood??" Joey asked.
"Oh, I'm not dead!" The man casually said. "It's just a minor flesh wound."
"Uh....and you're letting him do this to you? Who 'are' you?" Joey asked.
"I'm his butler. I get great medical coverage. Believe me, it's well worth it. And as you can see, Master Seto is an excellent painter."
After Joey got over the shock value that the butler was letting Kaiba dip his paint brush into his gut to paint, he looked up at the painting. It was the picture of a BEWD killing what Joey considered might be his stepfather, er....adopted father. But instead of using white lightning, the dragon was sending various bombs and missiles from his mouth at the guy.
"Do you like it?" Kaiba asked.
"Uh....yeah!" Joey said, putting on a fake grin. "It's....different! So, how often do you paint the front entrance with this dude's blood, and how didn't Mokuba notice this yet?"
"I use this room once a week. If Johnson isn't passed out by the lack of blood by then, he normally cleans it up afterwards, so that Mokuba doesn't find out." Kaiba explains.
"So....why is the dragon shooting missiles?" Joey asked.
The butler swallowed as Kaiba clenched his brush. "Because Gozaburo had Kaiba Corp as a weapon's plant. I used it as an 'irony' to 'attack' him with his own 'weapons'!"
Every word he emphasized in passion from that sentence, he harshly plunged the paint brush into the butler's chest, fiercely dipping his paint brush....making the butler gurgle and look rather pale.
"Okay! I got it!" Joey said, putting his hands up in a desperate way to try and calm his boyfriend down, who may possibly kill his butler if he kept getting angry like that. "You know....maybe you should take a break from that painting...."
"I'm done." Kaiba said, putting the brush down. "So, you really like it? Maybe I could paint you a picture...."
"Nono! That's okay....really!" Joey answered nervously, as the butler pulled out a rag from his pocket to cover the open wound.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
They left the foyer into the kitchen where Kaiba washed his hands of the blood of his butler. "So, how was school? Anymore F grades?" He teased.
Joey suddenly looked serious, and said, "You know....I think I should tell you something. All this time you've been thinking I'm just a stupid dog and your a genius businessman. It's all a lie. You see....I'm in fact a genius. I put on this bad accent and let myself have bad grades just so people think I'm stupid, but I'm not. When I was young, I used to be a straight A student all the time. I could be now if I wanted to, but I don't."
"Why not?" Kaiba asked.
"Because my father beats me, and I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I express it in my grades." Joey said.
Kaiba paused, staring at Joey for the longest minute. He then said, "That whole crap speech was just a lie, wasn't it?"
"How can you think that's a lie??" Joey snapped. "You're ego just can't let you think that I might be smarter than you, huh?"
Kaiba paused before repeating, "That whole crap speech was just a lie, wasn't it?"
Joey's head drooped, looking pitiful once again. "Yeah...."
"So, what did you really want to say?" He asked.
"I'm having homework problems. Will you tutor me? Will you let me work with you at Kaiba Corp too, so that I can hover around you day and night, and never let you out of my sight? Not that I'm obsessed or anything...." Joey stated.
"No."
"Why not?" Joey asked.
"Because I didn't want you to find out the truth about me." Kaiba answered.
"Huh?" Joey asked.
Kaiba turned away. "The fact of the matter is....I hate my job. And the pressure of constantly finding babysitters for Mokuba and doing work that I hate has been too much. I have all ready contemplated suicide atleast twice, now. You're new presence here has been the only thing helping to keep me stable!"
Joey paused, and scratched his head. "But....you got maids taking care of Mokuba, who is also your VP and shouldn't have to be baby-sat anyway."
"That's besides the point." Kaiba muttered.
"But, I thought you liked the power, prestige, and everything that came with Kaiba Corp." Joey added.
"I do." Kaiba said.
Another heart beat later, Joey was still trying to figure this out. "Then....what the hell's the problem??"
"I'm a teenager, too! Can't I feel pressures like everyone else???" Kaiba insisted.
Joey tapped his foot, saying, "Let me get this straight. The 'real' reason you've contemplated suicide is because you really don't 'have' any pressures and just wanted to have pressures like every other teenager in the world?"
"And what's wrong with that?" Kaiba asked. "Is it so wrong to want to be normal??"
"No....I guess not." Joey muttered.
Kaiba then turned towards the pots and pans, asking, "So, do you want to bake a cake? We could have a real fluffy moment, throwing food and flower at each other."
"Nawww....that's okay. Me and fluffy....it just don't go together." Joey said.
"Are you sure?" Kaiba asked, looking his way. "By the way, I saw a golden lab earlier today and I could have sworn it was you transformed into a dog. I considered humping it, but I decided it would be better to ask you later when you were human, first."
"Nnnno....I wasn't a dog." Joey said.
Quickly changing the subject, since Joey didn't want Kaiba to remember the fact that Joey mistaken a cat for him earlier, he then asked, "Say, speaking of weird things....have you been dreaming of me? Because I've been having erotic dreams of you even before we got hooked up. But, Yugi told me that it might just be the cause of Marik or Bakura possibly playing a joke on us by using a book of Egyptian shadow magic, making us dream of each other."
Kaiba answered, "Well, yes I have. But, I didn't think much of it, since I've been also having those nightmares of my father abusing me. Now every time someone says cantaloupe, I cringe and cry like a little girl without even knowing it. Of course, that doesn't mean I have any emotional or mental problems....because I don't."
"Wow, really?" Joey asked. "Just by saying cantaloupe?"
"WAAAHHH!!! Mommy!!!" Kaiba started to squeal as he curled up in a corner, bawling his eyes out and sucking his thumb.
"Oh, no! How do I snap him out of it??" Joey asked in fear.
"Oh, hi, Joey....hi Seto." Mokuba said, after finally coming home from school. He looked over at his brother cringing like a pathetic girl, and asked, "Seto, can I have some candy?"
"No!" Kaiba snapped, immediately returning to normal. "You know what happens to you when you eat too much of that crap."
Mokuba smiled back at Joey knowingly, as if to say, 'he's okay, now', and walked out of the room with a can of pop, which was 'so much better' than candy.
"Okay....well...." Joey muttered, now that Mokuba was gone, having yet another question to ask him, without even thinking once about mentioning that weird moment to his lover. "Can I ask another thing from you?"
"What is it?" Kaiba asked, looking up a recipe to possibly make a cake, anyway.
"Can I borrow a few million dollars from you?" He asked.
Kaiba turned to him and asked, "Why?"
"For my sister's eyes. She's going blind." Joey answered.
Kaiba looked at him strangely, then once again pulled a script from his back pocket. "Didn't you all ready save her eyesight from the whole Duelist Kingdom event?"
"Well, yeah....but I was gonna try and conveniently forget that point. Well, then it's for me! I'm going blind, too! Can you save my eyesight?" Joey asked. "You see, I got hit by a steam roller earlier, and...."
Kaiba then suddenly shoved the story script in his face, and asked, "Can you see this?"
"Pregnant??" Joey freaked, grasping at the script in shock. "I'm going to be pregnant??!!" He then paused, thinking about that. "Can guys even get pregnant? Damn, I'd probably know this, if I didn't fail Health class...."
Kaiba quickly snatched it back, putting it back in his pocket. "Obviously, you're fine....you don't need my money."
".....drat." Joey muttered, who really wanted to instead just blow it all on shoes, or Duel Monster cards at Yugi's game shop.
"Enough of this." Kaiba said, tossing the recipe in the garbage. "Come with me. There's something I want to show you."
Joey swallowed and replied, "As long as it don't have anything else to do with paintings...."
"Of course not. Why would you think that?" He asked Joey back.
Joey shook his head. "No reason."
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
As Kaiba was leading Joey down the hall, the phone suddenly rang. Kaiba answered it, saying, "Hello?"
After a moment's pause, he handed it to Joey, saying, "It's for you."
Joey took it, asking, "Hello?"
"Hi, Joey!! It's me, you're 'real' true-love, Mary Sue!!" She sweetly said to him.
"AHHHH!!" He screamed.
"By the way, I'm going steal Kaiba away from you, even though I don't know why."
"You stay away from my boyfriend!!" He snapped, and quickly hung up the phone.
"Who was that?" Kaiba asked, suspicious and feeling a twinge of jealousy.
"No one!" Joey spat. "Especially not some crazy stalker lady created in some lame attempt to pull us apart!"
Kaiba just stared at him strangely from that comment.
Joey added, "If anyone else calls, just tell them neither of us are here! I don't care who it is!"
"Ooookay." Kaiba said and continued to lead him down the hall, as he wondered if Joey was cheating on him with this girl, even though Joey was gay.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
They went into Kaiba's bedroom, and Kaiba directed him to a dresser.
Kaiba then squatted down to the bottom drawer of the dresser, took a breath, and said, "I've had this for a long time. After everything my stepfather did to me, I couldn't muster the strength to throw it out. It held too many emotional attachments to it."
"What is it?" Joey asked.
Kaiba shuttered. "It's what he used to dress me in....the most humiliating thing I ever had to endure."
Joey looked concerned. "Did he also make you dress up as a prostitute?"
"Yes, but that has nothing to do with it. I rather liked that outfit." Kaiba stated, making Joey give him a double-take.
Kaiba opened the drawer and looked away in shame. Joey looked down at the old white uniform. "Uh....it's a uniform."
"I know." Kaiba practically choked. "It's horrible!"
"Its....a school uniform."
Kaiba wiped a tear from his eye, saying, "I wanted to show this to you, to show you just how much you mean to me. I've never shown this to anyone....not even Mokuba."
"Uh....but this is what you used to wear when we first met you. I mean....didn't Mokuba all ready see you in this? Infact, didn't like 'everyone' see you in this??" Joey asked.
Kaiba looked down in shame. "That's what makes it so terrible."
Before Kaiba closed up the drawer, Joey grasped his wrist. "Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. I can tell we are really meant to be together. Let's get married!"
Kaiba looked normal once again, without a sign that he was even crying. He closed the drawer up, stating, "Sorry, I also wanted to tell you that I'm breaking up with you."
Narr: I know some of the direction Chapter 2 goes in is all over the place (heck, I even had a minor guest starring appearance!). Again....the story is a generalization of Yugioh stories I have actually read in the past. Some parts have been used so often in other stories to the point of smothering a reader to death, while other things not so often. Generalization means I took the basic idea of what I've seen, making a similarity to any other story vague at the very most. But, that doesn't mean I'm making fun of or targeting any specific story, at all.
Future regards: Also, I'm really starting to get out of writing, now. I couldn't do anymore editing on this story, so it was sent out 'as is'. If it's not funny enough for anyone, well then I'm sorry. So, besides this story, and perhaps another one shot coming up after this, I can't guarantee anything else will be coming out, especially Yugioh related. I might have a DBZ sequel of one of my older fics. But, I can't say when. Thanks everyone for sticking with me for this long and praising me on my work. I'm glad you all liked them.