Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Age Series

Summary: FUNNY! This is a collection of hilarious one-shot chapters for comedic purposes and experimental fluff. Chapters are random and has no timeline. DorianxM!Lavellan

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Chapter 2: Ghost Stories

Everyone was laughing around the campfire as Varric finished one of his good old stories. It was always entertaining to hear stories of Garret Hawke––the man charms and a sarcastic tone.

"Hahahaha! He did that to the dragon?" Blackwall asked, chuckling still.

Sera was giggling uncontrollably. "He actually shot an ice bolt into a dragon's arse?!"

"That is very… impressive of the Champion, even if a little unorthodox." Vivienne noted.

"Yep. That's our Hawke." Varric said proudly.

Lavellan laughed as well. "Hahahha! Oh Varric, that is gold! Why didn't you put it in the book?"

Varric shrugged. "Not many people will believe it."

"From what we go through, I think I'll believe anything from now on," The Inquisitor said. "You have a large collection of stories, Varric. Very good ones."

"Do you have one to tell, Inquisitor?" Blackwall asked, wanting one more story before he would turn in for the night.

"Me? I couldn't compete…"

"So you do? Come on let's hear it!" the dwarf merchant urged him. They haven't heard him tell any story before. Other than knowing he's Dalish, his previous life is a mystery to them.

"Oh I couldn't… besides you all might regret it."

Vivienne scoffed a bit, now wanting to hear this story. "How so? Just tell the story, dear."

"Go for it, Shiny!"

Then Lavellan smirked. "You know… I might not be good at funny stories…but I'm certainly very good in scary stories."

Scary stories? That gave Sera a pause but it was too late as Varric said to him,

"Ohh? Let's hear it then, your Inquisitorialness!"

Lavellan's smirk only widened. Sera and Blackwall already immediately regretted that they had asked him.

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Dorian was walking down the open hallway. He heard the Inquisitor came home last night so he wanted to see him today. He went into another and then––

BLAST!

The Tevinter mage leaped away as the rat scurrying around was frozen to death by Vivienne.

"ARGH! Annoying pest!" She cried out a bit. Dorian looked at her, outstanding, since he had never seen her…lose her cool. In fact, there were really dark circles under her eyes. She wasn't wearing any make–up either.

"Everything well?"

"Everything's fine." She snapped a bit. She's usually more reserved in the morning.

"Imperial Enchanter, I know we're not friends but is there something bothering you?"

"No."

"…Alright. Well, I'll be off then. Someone else would need my presence." Dorian said as he walked away, only to hear her mumble curses on Lavellan. What did his lover do?

He went downstairs and he saw Varric sitting down and writing a letter. He went up to him.

"Varric––"

"Geez!" Upon the greeting, Varric jolted out of fright, spilling the ink all over the paper. "Ugh… damn it, Sparkler."

"Oh Varric I didn't mean to–––why so jumpy?" Dorian asked as he tried to see if he could help.

Nope. Paper is covered in black ink.

"The story got to me, I suppose," He answered as he tried to clean up the mess with a rag he had with him, just in case.

"…Story? What story?"

"The Inquisitor knows some good stories. Unfortunately, they're scary stories… Really, terrifying stories." Varric looked really bothered and really disheveled.

Lavellan knows scary stories? Huh. He should ask what he had told them. "I see… it must have been some story. Have you checked the mirror lately? You look really awful."

Varric groaned. "Ugh, don't remind me about the mirror."

"Okay…Why not?"

The Tevinter magister didn't get an answer when they started hearing smashes of what sounded like glass outside. Dorian rushed out to see what was happening…

Sure enough, there was Sera throwing mirrors––all big and small––to the ground and Blackwall uncharacteristically was smashing them with his giant foot. Seeing the lying booze bottles, they looked pretty hangover.

The guards around intervened, grabbing them to get them to stop.

Off the side, there was Cassandra, Cullen, and Lavellan arguing with each other. It seemed…

Dorian hurried over to them, and heard their conversation.

"You told them a what!?" Cassandra snarled.

"A scary story! I didn't know it would affect them so much!" Lavellan said, raising his hands defensively. "And besides, it's only a story… Want to hear it?"

"No. Seeing those two, I don't need any more nightmares," Cullen said, shaking his head.

"Does this story have anything do with…mirrors?" Dorian asked. Is that why Vivienne's not wearing anything makeup and Varric looked like a mess? They couldn't fix themselves because they don't want to look at a mirror?

Lavellan turned to him and he smiled a smirk. "Yes… did you want to know, love?"

Oh no. That smirk.

Cullen and Cassandra immediately walked away, leaving the mage behind.

"…Nope. I'll be on my way now––"

"It's about a woman named bloody Carrie––"

"Lavellan!" Dorian started running around and Lavellan chased after him.

They were dolts.

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Sneak Peek of Next Chapter:

"You're sick…"

"Yes."