Let's Not Lose Our Heads

Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers. That goes to Nintendo. The only characters I own are those from the Golden Land, angels from Skyworld including the royal bodyguards, Angel Assembly and archangels along with all the other angels and of course the witch hunters. Finally I do not own Phantom Brave or Queen's Blade. They belong to Nippon Ichi and Hobby Japan.

Summary: During a duel with one of the Angel Assembly members, Reyn gets decapitated by accident and has to be turned into a Dullahan in order for his life to be saved. His head fell off Skyworld forcing Dark Pit to search the human worlds for the missing head. Reyn only has one week left before his body officially gives up on him and he has no way of communicating with his friend. Will the two be able to find his head or are they heading for disappointing results?

Pairing: Reyn/Pittoo, Pit/Melia, Robin/Shulk and implied Pit/Laharl and Ash/Cia

Rated: M (for mature)

Genre: Humor, Romance, Friendship, Drama and borderline Parody

Warning: Swearing, memes, bad puns, sexual situations, extreme violence and unintentional OOC

Another gift for Aria because she is obsessed with the idea of Reyn as a Dullahan. (And murdering people in increasingly odd ways.) Well here is how that will go in my universe. Enjoy!

Chapter 2: Life Without a Head Makes me Irritated

EVENING (seventeen hundred hours)

When you get decapitated, your life is usually over in that moment. One would have to ask what happens if you die in heaven while still alive. Where does your soul go? Does hell magically grab your soul and stuff it into a penguin suit or are you damned behind the Gates of Hell? Reyn wasn't thinking this when he died since he was shocked that his weapon didn't protect him, and he wasn't going to get answers at all when he woke up to blackness.

Am I dead? Reyn asked himself as he attempted to move his body. He could do this easily and he was able to sit up. He felt like something was missing, but he couldn't tell what. What happened to me? Oh…I remember walking around Skyworld with Lived…he challenged that haughty angel to a duel…her axe came my way and I tried to block with my driver and then…

Reyn's first instinct was to touch his head feeling a headache coming on for thinking too hard only to realize he was touching air. There was only smoke where he was trying to reach. Immediately, the redhead realized there was something wrong when he attempted to call for the dark angel. However, he had no mouth to speak with…and when he did say something, he felt something come out below his head region.

He could hear voices coming from the other room. Panicked voices and one he recognized that would not stop sobbing. While everything was black, Reyn could sense the aura coming from outside of the room that he would probably identify as a hospital seeing as how he heard things such as the heart monitor next to him.

"Li-Li, you need to stop crying. Everything will be okay. Flare said he'd wake up soon."

"How, do we know that Isaak?! She didn't even have the head to make sure that Reyn's life is safe! She's just letting the wheel of fortune turn! I don't want to lose him!"

The angel known as Isaak grumbled at Dark Pit's frantic state. Never had he seen the raven haired angel so freaked out in his life. He wasn't there when the event happened, but he should probably understand that watching your friend get decapitated because the angel that you hated lost her weapon and ended your friend's life would make anyone terrified. The worse part was Pit wasn't informed yet, and he would have to. Friday only told Isaak because in her state of panic, she went to her childhood friend…but at the end of the day…this would have to be reported to Pit and the angel captain was not going to be thrilled a friend of his rival was killed on his watch.

"You won't lose your friend, Li-Li. I promise you zat."

Again, Reyn wanted to know who this Isaak angel was. The minute he tried to get out of the bed, he felt the cord connecting him to the heart monitor keep him in place. This caught the attention of the angels outside seeing as there was movement in the room.

"Reyn!"

Dark Pit had rushed into the room to check on his friend. While he knew what the angel known as Flare done to his friend, he just wasn't expecting Reyn to be...without a head.

Lived! Reyn wanted to call out but again nothing came out. Why am I blind? Where am I!

"Li-Li, remember what Flare said? You got to stay away from your friend until he's done flailing around."

Flailing around? What do you mean by that?!

Again, Reyn attempted to stand up and this time, he almost pulled the cord out of the heart monitor. Immediately, the Homs heard Isaak swear in some other foreign language before Reyn felt his entire body be electrocuted.

"What the hell Isaak!"

"Li-Li, he has to stay here until we get Flare to let him know he's awake. Can you do that?"

"Why don't you do that? He'll be calmer when I'm around!"

"...Seriously…"

The two angels glared at each other. None of them wanted to get Flare to come into the room. Seeing as how the red eyed angel wasn't going to budge, Isaak sighed in defeat as he told Dark Pit he'll be right back. Reyn was still in a state of shock, so he didn't move from the bed despite the irritating noise from the heart monitor.

"Reyn, you're going to be okay. Just...don't move...or try to talk...or anything…"

Then what am I supposed to do? I can't see anything! I can only feel your presence and hear you for some strange reason! Reyn wanted to shout. It still didn't register that he might be missing a head to not be able to communicate with the dark angel…

"Umm...Reyn...how do I put this?"

The black angel took a seat next to Reyn. The Homs first idea was to go over and hug him and demand answers for this predicament. Lived didn't speak originally making Reyn think that he was nervous to explain what happened. He honestly wanted to scream with his next words.

"...You're dead."

What?!

"...You don't have a head anymore...and we don't know where it went...Friday's stupid axe killed you, but if you just moved out of the way instead of trying to be cool…"

What the hell do you mean by that?! I'm still here now! I can't see or talk, but I can hear you just fine! My heart's still beating...right?

"I didn't know what to do you idiot! Darcy went to look for someone who could help you, but instead of Himeno she got Flare and now you're this...demon...without a head…"

Reyn really wouldn't believe Dark Pit until the Flare angel came into the room. He could tell she entered with this gigantic aura that radiated from her body. It sent shivers down his spine to think there was an angel with this much magic inside of her besides Dark Pit who he grown use to enough that the aura that was around him and by proxy Pit didn't affect him too much.

"Your friend is now a Dullahan." Flare spoke immediately catching Reyn's attention. "A Dullahan is a demon from the Celtic Realm. We already have our Grim Reaper's here, so I wanted to try something different seeing as how you didn't retrieve the head when it fell off of Skyworld."

"Reyn is not an experiment!" The black angel cried out. "Something could have gone wrong and you took the risk anyway!"

"He's moving now, isn't he?" Flare questioned. Reyn imagined that she was smirking when she asked this to Dark Pit. "And for your information it was you and Friday who killed him. Your duel was unauthorized and unsupervised. Someone died on your watch and the captain still isn't aware of this incident. It will be filed under both of you and let me tell you, the captain is not going to be happy with this scenario."

Dark Pit's mouth dropped as if he wanted to protest, but kept his thoughts to himself. He groaned realizing that Pit would have to tell Shulk...and that was not going to go well...at all.

"Anyways, Reyn...that's your name, right?"

Yes! Oh wait...if I'm without a head then…

Now it was a time to panic for Reyn. Flare shook her head in annoyance seeing how it took the Homs this long to figure out he was without a head. His arms flailed again and it only made Flare want to burn his arms just so she could imagine that he was screaming for a legit reason.

"Being without a head isn't too bad." Flare continued. "You don't need to see anymore. You can't talk so your obnoxious voice cannot be heard and you're part of the undead. You're one step closer to working under Hades honestly...or maybe better than Hades is Thanatos."

Reyn had heard of these names before and he immediately waved his hands in front of him like he was giving the frantic "no" gesture. Flare glanced over to Dark Pit who wanted to know what Reyn was saying instead of looking at his hand gestures forcing Flare to use her powerful magic to create a small whiteboard with a black marker attached to it. She went over and shoved it over to him.

"If you want to talk, just write it down. Dullahan's usually have a way to communicate with others. One that we all know about uses a cellphone and the other one just talks normally...but given your world doesn't have such technology due to your friend refusing to get with the times and you not having your head to speak for you...this will have to do."

So Reyn was given the whiteboard to speak through writing. The first thing that he writes is something that Dark Pit imagined his first reaction would be.

"SCREAMING."

The two angels facepalmed at the whiteboard before he erased it and wrote something that they couldn't read due to his bad handwriting.

"Your friend...is doomed." Flare said simply. "Unless you find his head and put it back on."

"I wish you would have told me before you forced Reyn to become a Dullahan."

"Why? I enjoy seeing you react to these situations. As the angel in charge of the Demon Division, you need to prepare for the unexpected such as your friends dying and becoming demons due to your recklessness."

Flare really wanted to see the dark angel suffer. It was why Dark Pit didn't want this powerful angel to be the one to help him save Reyn. He would have preferred if Reyn's death was brought to Palutena. He would happily take the punishment if the green haired Goddess could repair the damage he had caused. Instead, he's stuck with the wheel of fortune not being in Reyn's favor.

"How long does Reyn have?" Dark Pit asked not really wanting an answer.

"One week at best." Flare answered. "I mean, unless his head gets all messed up in the human world then that would be three days at worse."

"3 DAYS?!" Reyn wrote on the whiteboard with the number three instead of writing it out. Even if his handwriting was terrible, at least the angels could see the number.

"Oh that's just an estimate." Flare stated as he hand waved his visible panic. "If your head is kept in good condition, then seven days is enough for you and Pit's twin to find it and return it back to its original owner...you."

"Oh, so I got time?"

"Well to be fair...today is wasted. I do not see you getting out of Skyworld until the captain knows or you learn how to move around as a Dullahan. Without a head, I can imagine this simple task being nothing but hell for you."

Reyn wanted to take Flare up to the challenge. Yes he couldn't see anything, but he could feel the aura of the angels. How difficult would it be to walk around Skyworld without falling on his face?

Oh wait, I don't have a face anymore. Reyn thought to himself rather annoyed. I don't have eyes, a nose, a mouth or even hair… at least on my head…I wonder what Lived thinks about that.

He couldn't see Li's reaction and it worried him that his young angel friend was looking at him differently now. It wasn't too far from the truth seeing as how the dark angel was too quiet for his liking.

"Dark Pit," Flare began catching the black angel's attention, "you will need to assist your friend with moving around. I estimate he already had issues with a head. Without a head, I imagine him running into walls and causing nothing but trouble for the angels in Skyworld."

"Maybe you should have turned him into something else that actually had vision without a head."

"Nah, I was thinking of you when I turned him into a Dullahan." Flare said simply.

"H-Huh? Why?"

Flare smirked as she pointed to Reyn's body specifically his lower region. "Despite not having a brain, the blood is still flowing through his body. Without a head, it's going to go to his lower regions. I hope you'll enjoy your new boytoy."

Dark Pit blinked before his eyes widened in horror at what she was telling him. He tried to hide the crimson blush from his face, but only Flare would see it anyway.

"You are worse than I imagined…"

"Well, young boys like you have to learn to experiment with new things."

"I resent being called a thing!" Reyn wrote not completely registering the conversation at hand. "So, when am I allowed to leave? I want to find my head immediately!"

"Note to self: Write shorter sentences. With your shit handwriting, I barely can register what you wrote." The powerful angel reminded the redhead Homs. "Today is a wasted day for you. Just learn how to walk. You're free to leave the hospital, but you're not leaving to the human world." She smirked as she turned her attention back to Dark Pit. "I can probably pinpoint where the head is for you, but it will cost you a fortune Dark Pit."

"...You know I don't care about hearts. I just want to save Reyn...it is my fault after all."

"I'm glad you acknowledge what a nuisance you are." Flare stated rather happily. "Isaak has already went off to talk to Pit about the situation. I will be seeing you tomorrow with the locations of where the head could be."

The dark angel remained quiet as the graceful angel dismissed herself from the hospital room leaving him with his now Dullahan friend.

"Now what?"

Reyn could hear Dark Pit let out a huge sigh as a response.

"...I'll take you back to the temple. Even though Flare said that Isaak went to tell Pitstain...I'm pretty sure he's on a mission with that Mothman witch hunter concerning meeting his fiancé."

"Pit's engaged?!"

"Don't act all surprised. Everyone knows that. He just doesn't want to bring it up when he's cheating on said fiancé with everyone else."

Reyn was silent trying to imagine Dark Pit's reaction to that. He pictured the raven haired angel rather annoyed with Pit, but then again...his tone of voice didn't match up to Pit's actions.

"Come on, you headless idiot. Let's get out of here. It's going to get dark soon and I don't want to be walking around Skyworld at night."

"Skyworld has a day and night cycle?"

"We have been through this, Reyn...that's because of the weather angels."

"Wait...what…"

"Don't...ask. Just follow me."

Dark Pit stood up from his chair and waited by the door. Since Reyn was no longer attached to any cords, he was free to move around. Once he got off the bed, he took his first step. So far so good...but because Dark Pit didn't move the chair when he got up, Reyn ended up toppling over the chair and landing on his belly.

Oww.

Again, Dark Pit facepalmed seeing his friend fall down before they left the room. This was going to be a long and irritating night.

EVENING (Twenty hundred hours)

Going back to Palutena's Temple should have only taken one hour despite it being a straight line from Helel to Eden. Dark Pit added the hour due to Reyn's circumstance, but one hour became three hours with one hour wasted in the hospital. Tripping over the chair should have been a sign of how long it would take to leave the hospital. Reyn could not see anything at all. This meant he crashed into everything while trying to keep up with the dark angel, and the only reason he could see Lived was because of the aura radiating from him. There were other angels there, so when he wasn't bumping into the wall or random hospital objects placed in the hallway...he would crash into other angels who worked at the hospital. A few times, he went into the wrong room despite the fact Dark Pit's aura was in the opposite direction and overall did not move for a couple of minutes when he fell down the stairs.

The next two hours should have been simple, but when you have Reyn stumbling over his own feet and too many angels being distracted with Dark Pit walking around with a headless Homs to the point they refused to move out of the way to stare and ogle at the disaster before them...then yeah things were going to take forever to get to Palutena's Temple.

This was what Pittoo hated about angel society. They always judged him for his appearance and who he hung out with. Pit got the same look, but unlike the younger twin, Pit was capable of silencing their negative impressions of him. If Dark Pit didn't have places to go, he would have told an arrogant couple to shut up while he rushed to the temple. Three hours was too long and instead of just teaching Reyn how to walk again like a toddler, he just grabbed Reyn by the hand and ran full speed toward the seventh division.

Why was it the seventh division instead of the fifth division though? Dark Pit honestly just needed to relax. He also wanted to avoid Arachne and Kaguya who were probably informed about the incident and were waiting for him to come to them. Dark Pit's childish side was showing and wanted to avoid the older women for the reason of being scolded by them for letting Reyn die so quickly and so easily. At the thought of being lectured, he let go of Reyn's hand after reaching their destination.

"Where are we now?" Reyn asked him not knowing if the dark angel was even looking at the whiteboard. "I don't think this is your room."

Dark Pit looked back at Reyn after hearing the squeaking noise from the marker.

"Of course this isn't my room. This is the hot spring area...it's Aqua's division."

"Huh? Water?"

"That's her name. Pit thought it would be humorous to give the water angel a section of the division meant for hot springs. She wasn't really happy that her role was demoted to his sexual entertainment."

So now that Reyn knew where the two were, the first stupid idea that came to mind was literally about the dark angel.

He's going to strip...and I'm not going to see anything…

It was probably bad for Reyn to have these quick thoughts. Pit had warned Reyn multiple times to not get any funny ideas about his younger twin. Pittoo had sworn a chastity vow to the Mother of the Universe that was meant to chase off the angel suitors that wanted him for themselves. As a result of that dumb vow, the dark angel wasn't allowed to have sexual encounters with anyone unlike Pit who was free to screw everything and anything. The white angel thought that if he warned Reyn in advance that he wouldn't be dumb enough to actually consider him a romantic love interest. Reyn...wasn't smart in that sense so of course he'll have these random ideas pop up...and it was never pleasant for him seeing as how he'll end up with an awkward erection for the rest of the day unless he got time alone to himself...and that wasn't often when he was visiting his friend seeing as how he was hanging out with Lucina and Lucas too.

Reyn flinched hearing Dark Pit's tunic hit the floor. If he had a head, he would probably be blushing right about now. All he could do was imagine how thin the young angel was. In the back of his mind, Pit's body was the same and he would often catch the light angel working out with Shulk in secret (that implication always made him wonder what was the real relationship between the two). He was never really attracted to Pit's body though that was probably more toned than Dark Pit anyway seeing as how he was shown to work out more. The idea of seeing Dark Pit naked only excited him.

"Reyn...is something the matter?"

And now Reyn realized how much he wanted his head back but not for the reason he imagined. He could hear the dark angel getting into the hot spring, but he seemed to be carrying something. Reyn only realized what it was when the water was splashed all over him.

Agrhhhh! Cold!

"What the hell Reyn! You may not be able to see me, but you still end up getting a stupid boner! Honestly, you have to stop that or I'll make you wait outside the bath! I trust you enough so you won't get a stupid mental image about me!"

Reyn fidgeted with his whiteboard mainly because he felt like the black pen was going to fall out of his hand. What he wrote couldn't really be read seeing as how the water was sliding down onto his message.

"SORRY! I'M SORRY!"

Again, Dark Pit sighed before he went back into the water. Reyn could easily strip and go in with him, but the redhead was fine with just standing outside of the hot spring like a damp puppy instead of getting into the hot water. Then again, the hot spring might give him another erection especially if his intentions included sitting next to the dark angel and attempt to get Pittoo to sit on his lap.

"Reyn, do you want to get splashed again?! Seriously!"

This was probably going to be a recurring event every night and Reyn really wasn't looking forward to the blood rushing to his groin every time he thought of something perverted about Dark Pit. He better learn how to move around as a Dullahan or he's going to end up deader than dead...probably from Pit if he wasn't careful.

Me: TBC with 4284 words.

Li:…

Me: See? Reyn's fine. He's just going to have a lot of boners now. Hope you find the head soon. Notes!

1. If you wonder why Reyn can still hear everyone despite not having a head, think of Celty from Durarara. As pointed out here, the two Dullahans I bring up are indeed Celty who exists in the modern earth of the Kid Icarus realm and Lala the Dullahan from the Monster Musume anime.

2. A heads up that when Reyn is talking via whiteboard that it will be in Italics with quotation marks, but when he's thinking to himself or when he's trying to speak and forgets he doesn't have a mouth to speak through its just plain Italics. He doesn't have vocal cords either due to how half of his neck is gone.

3. Flare is obviously mean-spirited. She is Aqua's vice captain and is of the rare Summoner class hence why she is able to save Reyn rather easily. She's a fortuneteller hence the reference to the wheel of fortune. I didn't describe her appearance since its kind of from Reyn's POV. Flare's appearance is that of a Japanese priestess.

That's it. Reviews are appreciated. Ja ne!