Whatever happens, do not give into my wife.
-DM
Something crunched underfoot as Hermione pushed open the door, into her dark and unwelcoming flat. She shut the door behind her, and turned on the light so she could investigate. On the floor, under her heel, was a range of pamphlets and mail that had been delivered throughout the day.
"Bin, bin, bin," she flicked through. "Ah! Money-off coupons, might need that."
As she reached the end of her junk, something fell away in a pale yellow envelope. It immediately caught her interest, because nothing was written on the cover. That was weird. Advertising companies would never let such blank space go to waste like that. Hermione bent down to retreive it.
It was from Draco Malfoy.
The words burned into her retinas, as she read it once and once again. Three months. It had been three months since she'd last heard from him, and this note was a jolt out of the blue. She let the parchment go, and it fluttered past her feet unoticed.
She had forgotten all about their situation.
For weeks afterward, Hermione had lain awake at night replaying their conversation. That day had been...bonkers. Astoria had barged in and plonked herself in front of Hermione with a whiff of desperation in the air. Draco had followed humbly in. There was no pre-meditation in their entrance. Astoria Malfoy and her husband weren't out to get her...
Right?
Awareness prickled her senses, like she was being watched. She jumped a foot in the air, when someone started banging on the door. "Go away," she mouthed, when the person ran out of steam. No such luck. It started up again, with relentless insistency.
Something told her it was Astoria outside.
It had to be.
Even Draco-bloody-Malfoy was concerned enough, to write a note!
Horror raced up her spine, when the pounding stopped and the person bent down to peer through her letterbox. Two eyes scrutinised her frozen form, before they narrowed and disappeared. This was it. Hermione's panting grew shallower. The witch was going to Alohomora her door into next week and back again.
Hermione's hand automatically gripped around her wand.
"PIZZA DELIVERY! OPEN UP YOUR DOOR!"
This time Hermione felt no dread, as she sunk with relief against the wall. Her paranoia was verging on ridiculous. Letting out a weak chuckle, Hermione directed the pizza delivery guy to the right flat. He thanked her through the letterbox and left, leaving a trail of pepperoni and ham in his wake.
She didn't want to be alone anymore.
Throwing a handful of floo powder into her fireplace, Hermione shouted out "The Burrow!"
xox
"Watch yourself, Hermione!"
Hermione ducked just in time, as a flying frisbee skimmed over her head and vanished into the emerald flames behind her. From somewhere deep within, she could hear the vase sitting on her mantelpiece; smashing. The expressions on Ronald and George Weasley's face were priceless, when she straightened up.
"Were you trying to decapitate me?"
"N-no," Ron spluttered.
"That would be our other product," George supplied, pulling out a board game. It was a bit like Cluedo, except players could stage their own death, and make it a "game for all the family." From the top of her head, the list included: garotting, gutting, slitting and asphixating.
What a lottery to choose from.
"Come on, Hermione," Ron held out a slimy capsule. "Experience death by defecation."
"Fantastic way to flush your bowels," George nodded enthusiatically. "I slipped one into Harry's tea."
"You didn't," Hermione clapped a hand to her mouth. "That's- That's-"
"Bloody brilliant?" Ron grinned, just as the victim of their practical joke walked into the room. All three of them went silent, as Harry deposited a bowl of potato salad on the table, and went to grab other food. Ginny triapsed in with utensils, an expectant buzz around her.
"Hermione! You came!" she smiled, spotting her friend. "That makes it a full house."
"Can I help?" Hermione moved forward.
Ginny stopped alligning forks beside their respective spoons, and looked up to the puzzled brunette. Hermione was blown away, by the amount of emotion welling up in the former Gryffindor's eyes. "Ask me that in six months," she choked, before turning back to the table and smiling. To say Hermione was confused, would've been putting it lightly. She pondered the cryptic answer, until other family members filtered in to join the hubbub.
Dinner passed smoothly for the most part.
"Hey Harry."
"Yeah?"
"I wouldn't touch that cabbage if I were you."
Harry ignored Ron, and guided some into his mouth. Ginny got to her feet and cleared her throat, which automatically made her centre of attention. Nobody noticed Harry's fork freeze halfway to his plate, as a pained but relieved expression crossed his face.
"I have an announcement to make. Harry, if you please."
"Harry."
The boy wonder rose like a trembling cobra, and clenched the side of the table tightly. Surely he wasn't...defecating? "This," he breathed. "Is the best moment of my life." A vein bulged in his forehead. "I mean, surrounded by family and friends..." His gut growled with the force of expelling diahorrea. Everyone gasped, as the first stench of cabbage swept the table in a nauseating wave.
"Seriously.." a bead of sweat trickled from his hairline. "The...best...moment.."
Ginny shouted out "I'M PREGNANT!" the exact moment her husband collapsed to the floor in apparent death. The next few seconds were full of chaos as hell broke loose.
xox
"Merlin," Hermione said, back in the relative safety of her home. Harry had come round, thankfully, but refused to speak to anyone. Hermione used that as a propagation, to say her "goodbyes" and get the hell out of there.
She put the kettle on, and moved around the kitchen, to make a late night snack. It was a habit, that served her well in getting her prepared for bed. Speaking of snacks, Crookshanks had left his dinner untouched, which was very unlike him.
Her eyebrows shot up.
She knew exactly where he would be.
"Crookshanks," she hissed, after exiting her flat to double round to the back. This was where the communal bins were, and the darn cat loved rummaging through them on a daily basis. "Crookshanks," she hissed again, aware some vagrant was lying on the ground.
Tell-tale amber eyes glowed in the darkness, and Crookshanks shot off into the dark.
"Great," Hermione sighed, throwing her hands up and turning to go back in. A scream caught in her throat when she realized someone was blocking the way. It was a woman- dressed in a white nightgown and black hair drenched to her shoulders. She looked like she'd been in the rain for hours.
Astoria.
"Hear me out," Astoria grabbed hold of Hermione's forearms. "I still want you to be the mother of my child."
"Three months," Hermione repeated incredulously. "Three months and I haven't heard a word from you. And suddenly you're outside my home, demanding the world? Why now? How did you find this address?"
"It doesn't matter," Astoria shook her arms. "None of it matters. Come with me to St. Mungos right now. The procedure will be quick and painless. All you have to do is donate some eggs."
"NO!" Hermione wrenched her arms out of Astoria's grasp, just as a significant pop told them someone had apparated onto the scene. Draco hurried out of the darkness, to push Hermione aside and get to Astoria.
"Where have you been?" he demanded harshly. "You've been missing three nights! Look at you. One would be forgiven to think you're not the esteemed bride of a Malfoy, but the lovechild of a ghost and a harpie."
Three nights? Hermione gaped in the background. Please don't tell me she's been standing outside my flat for three nights!
"You!" Draco furiously twirled on her. "Why are you pandering to my wife? Dirty, filthy mudblood."
Hermione's breath left her in a sharp exhale. It felt like she was being punched in the gut repeatedly.
"Did you not get my note?" he continued ranting. "Don't you know how to read? GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
The simultaneous moment Draco spat the last word with a purple face, Astoria fell in a heap behind him. Abandoning his attack on Hermione, Draco rushed over to his wife's side. "Get over here," he barked. "Fix her." Hermione rushed to Astoria's other side, and felt for a pulse on her neck.
"Take her to St. Mungo's," she said firmly. "NOW."
Hermione didn't get the chance to remove her fingers from Astoria's neck, before she felt the first tingles of side-long apparition. They were squeezed through a tube, and rematerialised outside the hospital. Draco ran to get a healer, whilst Hermione supported Astoria after him.
They were guided to the second floor, where Draco told Hermione to "Wait outside" before following his wife into a cubicle. It was an anxious wait for all parties. Finally- Finally!- Draco emerged to tell her the news.
It wasn't good.
"My wife has contracted a flesh-eating bug," he sneered, like it was all her fault. "She's refusing treatment until you have donated some eggs, and I have supplied some sperm. This is all your fault, mudblood."
"How is it!" Hermione shot to her feet. "Your wife is the master-manupliater here. She clearly wants our reproductive organs, so by jove, she'll get it! You slytherins are a lousy bunch."
Draco gave her a nasty look, before handing over a potion. It was the colour of pink mist that swirled and congregated in the middle of the bottle like glittery stars. In his own hand, was a crude cup that was obviously meant to be filled up with sperm. He shook it at her, before stomping off to "privacy."
Hermione closed her eyes, a small prayer leaving her lips.
"Please Merlin, let him be infertile."
xox
A few days later, Hermione was staring glumly out of the window in Starbucks. Her finger would cover the rim of the cup, before switching to shred paper napkins. At this rate, her frappachino would cool before her thoughts ever came to a conclusion.
In the background, Ginny was chattering.
"We have a feeling it's going to be a boy. Harry really wants to call him James, if it is. Our second son would clearly be called Albus," she joked. "Following the dead theme and all."
Hermione nodded with disinterest.
"You seem a million miles away, Hermione. Something plaguing your mind?"
She nodded again.
"Oh, Hermione. What is it? Lover issues? I'll tell my brother to stop being so inattentive and drop by, once in a while."
"It's not that!" Hermione caught the tail-end of the conversation. "I was just wondering...just wondering how it feels like to be pregnant." She finished tamely. It wasn't that, but it hit close enough to the sore topic for Hermione to be interested. She watched Ginny beam in realization, and knew she didn't get it at all.
A letter was waiting in her bag.
Dear Hermione Granger,
On behalf of St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, we request your presence this Friday to confirm your results of In Vitro Fertilisation. If the results are positive, you will be required to go on a course of hormone-inducing drugs rightaway. Included is a meal plan, because it is hard work for any new mother to find the correct balance to eat for two people. We wish you the best of luck.
-Department of Magical Births.
Today was Friday. Hermione closed her eyes. She didn't want to go.
But she had too, didn't she? She had a duty of care to see if Astoria's scheme had worked or not. Part of her, didn't think it would. Malfoy was a great believer of blood purity, and hated all things mudblood. It would make sense if his sperm hated her eggs too, and avoided it altogether.
Hermione was clasping at straws now. She knew sperm didn't discriminate against race.
If a fertilisation was meant to happen, it would.
Finishing off her coffee, Hermione walked Ginny out to the street before disapparating to St. Mungo's. Malfoy was waiting outside for her, supporting a sickly Astoria against his shoulder. He looked so angry to be there, Hermione didn't bother greeting him, and walked inside with her head held high.
After a moment, both of them followed.
"Ah yes," the healer said inside his office. He picked up a paper, and glanced at it. "Good news, Mr and Mrs Malfoy. Out of the five eggs your surrogate provided, two of them have been sucessfully inseminated with Mr Malfoy's sperm."
Draco let out a strangled gasp, and dropped Astoria's hand.
"There's more. It would be wise if your surrogate started taking drugs, so her body has less chance of rejecting the embryo. We recommend today. If all works out well, you could be looking at twins in nine months."
"Twins!" Draco choked. "Twins."
"This is fantastic, Draco," Astoria turned to her husband with brimming eyes. "We can finally have our own children to look after. Isn't this what we always wanted?"
"Are you going to accept this?" Draco turned to Hermione. His grey eyes had no trouble meeting hers; and clashing. "What the hell are you on, mudblood? Say no, and bum Weasley."
A cloud of red washed over her judgement. In that split second, an irrevocable choice was made.
"I give my consent," she said calmly. "And fuck you, Malfoy."
xox
I'm a little worried, because stories are being deleted across FF/net. Should I rate this story M to be on the safe side? Also writing for me, is a continual feedback system. Please tell me what I did well. Please tell me what I can improve.
Thank you
x
Shamz