All Of Me
Diclaimer: I own nothing.
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My Immortal by Evanescence
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I finally reached my apartment. It was really hard to find apartments these days in Paris, but luckily, I got a deal. I'd be moving a couple of months anyway, but I didn't care. I was a millionaire. You're probably wondering that I'm twenty, and if I went to college. Yes, I did, but I dropped out. I went to a really good college in Berlin, Germany, and I was able to understand German because my family is part German, and part Jewish. Except I was baptiste Catholic. Anyway, so when I went to college there, I couldn't get anything else for my book, and I wanted to leave. I told Jacob, he booked us a plane ticket to Paris, and off we went. I might go back, to finish up, but I'm not sure. I don't need college - as Jacob says. He says I was born incredably smart and intelligent. And to be honest, I am. I am very intelligent.
I walked into my apartment, and saw Jacob browsing the Internet, and had left the TV on. "Hey, Jake," I greeted him, taking my hoodie off. Really, Paris was cold in November. Really cold.
"Hey," he replied, without looking away from the computer screen.
"How many times have I told you not to leave the TV open?"
"I thought you might want to see something."
I rose an eyebrow. "See what?" I questioned. He jerked his head towards the TV, and I turned to look at it. I stared at it for awhile, and I noticed that it was playing American Idol. "You know I hate American Idol, Jake," I said, looking at the back of his head, since that's what was facing me. "Why do you want me to watch it?"
"Look who's up next," he said simply.
I went and sat down on my bed, and looked up at the TV screen. And that's when I saw her.
My eyes widened instantly. "Is that. . .?" I asked, barely in a whisper.
"Mm-hm," Jacob replied. He clicked on the laptop mouse pad, and started typing rapidly. Jacob - like me - learned to memorize the whole computer keyboard. I gazed at the television screen, completely shocked and surprised.
"Up next," Ryan Seacrest said into his mic, "Mary Alice Brandon!"
I watched as my old, pixie friend walked gracefully - almost dancing - across the stage, towards a grand piano. I had forgotten that Edward had tought her how to play the piano. He was a great pianist himself, but he never wanted to become something bigger. I saw Alice's name sprawled out on the bottom of the screen, with the number and texting number just in case you want to vote for her. "What place is she in?" I asked Jacob, but without even looking away from the TV screen - or even blinking for that matter.
"Last five," he answered. I gaped.
"I just want to say one thing before I play," Alice said into the mic that was placed on the grand pianor, "that this song, "My Immortal" is dedicated to someone who is gone, but sill has all of me."
Of course I knew who she meant. She meant me. I think. I mean, I did go away, and Alice was as close to me as an identical sister - even though I had no siblings. I grabbed the remote, and turned up the volume. I gazed back up at the screen with intensity.
She let her fingers linger against the keys, and began to play.
"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase."
Her singing. . . it was so. . .graceful. So heavenly. I hadn't heard anything like it. Just from listening to the first line that she sang, I yelled at Jacob to vote for her online. He immediatly did (I don't know if you can actually vote online, but just pretend that you can) and alerted me when he was done. I continued to listen, the volume even higher.
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me."
"Bella, if you turn the volume any louder, the neighbors will probably call the police or something," Jacob informed me, grabbing the remote and lowering the volume. I gave him a vicious glare, and he stuck his tongue out at me. I waved him off, and continued to listen and watch Alice. She was just wonderful. I wouldn't be surprised if she won American Idol.
"These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me."
Edward's POV
We all had gathered around the couch in my apartment, watching Alice on American Idol. She was truly amazing. I knew who she dedicated the song to - and I didn't blame her for it. She truly loved Bella with all her heart - like a sister, and was just heartbroken when Bella left. Where is Bella? That question keeps going through everyone's mind, and yet it cannot be answered. Well, cannot be answered by any of us, that is. But surely Bella can answer that. But then again, she isn't here.
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along."
I looked over at Emmett, who was beaming madly as he watched the TV screen, his arm around Rosalie's shoulder. They had been dating they were sixteen, and haven't fought or broken up since. Now that's something. I turned to look at Jasper, and he had the same expression as Emmett had - just plain happiness. He was watching his girlfriend sing and play the piano on American Idol, and actually sounding like an angel. And then I looked over at May. Yes, we were still going out. Actually, we were happily married. I proposed to her a year ago, and she joyfully accepted. And then the wedding came slowly after, and bada boom! we were married. It was just a shame that my best friend - in the whole world - wasn't there to support me. But then again, I understand why she didn't come. Why she had left. I just never really felt that way about her.
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me."
Alice may be the one agonising over Bella, but I was doing much worse. I kept my agony inside of me, and never told no one. Alice had slapped me, kicked in my male pride, punched me in the stomach, broke my nose, pulled my hair on that day Bella had left. She yelled me, telling me that it was my fault. That I had to the power to make Bella stay, but instead I just let her go. I can just remember that day perfectly. Too perfectly.
-Flashback-
"Oh my God!" Alice gasped. "Oh my God, no!"
"What? What happened?" I asked urgently. Us and the others were looking at her intensly. What had happened? Did something happen to her parents? WHAT happened? "Really, Alice, spill it out!"
"Bella left," she whispered.
"What are you talking about?" Rose injected.
"I just called her house!" Alice exclaimed, full of salty tears now. "Billy told me that she was on a plane to Europe with Jacob! I asked him why, but he said that it was personally thing between him and Bella. That he couldn't say."
"What do you mean he couldn't say?!" I yelled.
"He couldn't! It was something private with him and Bella!"
We were all silent for a long while. Thats when Alice gave us all a vicious glare. "Well?!" she yelled loudly. "No one is going to do anything?!"
"What are we supposed to do?!" Rose screamed. "I don't see you doing anything!"
"Don't yell like that!" Jasper snapped at his sister. "We all can't do anything!"
"Edward could!" Emmett said.
"What?"
"Edward, you can make her stay!" he explained. "You are the only important person to her! She'll listen to you for sure!"
"And how do you know that?"
"BECAUSE I KNOW!" Emmett was getting pissed now. "You know how I could make her smile, no matter what? Well I failed on this one! I couldn't make her smile, for anything. And you want to know why?"
I winced, knowing what he was going to say next. I felt bad for May, who was just standing there, not knowing what to do. She never knew Bella all that well, and she clearly didn't understand that Bella was very important to all of us. "I'll tell you why," Emmett said. Then he gave a glare to May, and then looked back at me. "Because she loved you since she met you! She didn't want to say anything, because she knew it would end your friendship! So she kept her agony inside, no matter how much it tormented her to see you with another girl" -another dark glare at May-"because she wanted to make YOU happy, but didn't care that she wasn't happy, herself. See now, dear Ed? Do you see what she has done for you? And do you see what shit you gave her? Nice job. She'll really be happy now."
I didn't say anything. But then Alice started yelling, too, and giving dark death glares. "It's all your fault!" she yelled at me, jabbing her finger into my chest. Not like it hurt. "You made her go away!"
"Oh, so I made her?!" I growled. She was the one who left. She was the one who decided to leave - not me. I didn't make her. I didn't force her.
"You didn't make her," Alice said, "but you are surely the reason why she left! Why aren't you doing anything? Right, because Edward doesn't care that nobody else is happy! As long as he is happy!"
Now I was fuming. I can practically see the smoke coming out my ears. "Oh really? The why aren't I happy now!? You think I'm GLAD that Bella is gone? Oh, how wrong you are, Alice! I am just as depressed as all of you!"
"THEN WHY AREN'T YOU DOING ANYTHING?!"
"BECAUSE I'M GIVING HER WHAT SHE WANTED!"
Everyone then fell silent. Alice breathed heavily from all that yelling, and was glaring at me, her eyes piercing into my eyes. "I am giving her what she wanted," I repeated, but in a less violent tone. "She wanted to leave, so I'm not going to stop my best friend from doing what she wants."
"DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND CLEARLY?!" Alice snapped. "She is leaving because of YOU! Why are you letting her go? She WANTED to be with you! She wanted for you to return your love and then you guys could live happily ever after! But guess what?!"
I didn't answer.
She continued. "Ogres don't get happy endings! And guess who's the ogre? YOU! You do not deserve a happy ending, Edward Anthony Cullen! Shrek may have gotten one, but he was a lucky! What you really deserve is this!" She then slapped me. "You" - punch-"are" - slap-"a" - kick- "stupid" - slap slap-"revolting" -pulling of hair-" human" - punch-"being!"
"And what if I want her to go?!" I blurted out. And the second that came out of my mouth, I knew it was a lie. I never wanted her to leave. I wanted her to stay with me, by my side.
"Then I don't know you anymore," Alice snarled. "The Edward I knew would be going after his best friend, and convincing her to stay! Noooo, you have to let her go! Great job, Edward. Really, I should give you an award for being 'Number One Son of a Bitch of the year!'"
"Why don't you just leave Bella alone?" I argued. "Maybe she wants to leave! Maybe she wants to leave me, and stay away from me! Maybe she wants to find someone better, because really, she doesn't deserve someone like me!"
"No," Alice said. "She doesn't. She deserves someone much better than you. What a lovely birthday gift for her, Edward. You really gave her the best one, that she will NEVER forget."
-End flashback-
I really think that she herself hasn't forgotten that day. But I let her go. I let her make her own decision. She wanted to go, so I let her go. She run away. And what really made me unhappy was that she ran away from me. Me, her best friend in secret lover in the universe! She ran away from me! I did this! I let her go, because I thought it was best! And now I haven't seen her in two years! Alice and the others keep contacting her, hoping that she would respond back. But she never did. Not even once. The last person she spoke to before she left was Alice - if you count out Billy - and Alice told me Bella's exact quote.
"He'll be getting lost in chocolate brown eyes, all right. Just not mine."
I winced. I honestly never wanted her to leave, but I let her go, anyways. I let her go because I thought it was the right thing. I gave her the perfect birthday gift: getting away from a selfish bastard, like me. I let her go and I might never see her again. That day might have been the last time that I saw her. I know for sure that I'll never see her again. Ever.
But what really agonises me was that we never even said goodbye.
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A/N: I thought since that this is a new fic, I should give you guys another chapter, so you guys can learn a bit more about it. ;)
I really suggest that you listen to that song while reading this chapter. I practically cried.
Please review. No flames.