Looks like I have some work to do to start the adoption process. Too bad I can't drink it off. Ugh. This sucks. I can't drink for nine months! This pregnancy is really biting me in the ass.
It was finally the weekend. I figured I should tell someone about this. I keep seeing Bernadette at work every day and it's killing me that I haven't told her yet. I texted her and Amy if they wanted a Girl's Night. They texted me back saying they would love to. Good. I can tell them at my place. Unfortunately, we can't go out drinking like we would usually do. Dr. Fisher told me I can't eat certain foods which sucks. I've been dying for sushi.
Amy and Bernadette showed up at around five. I told them that instead of clubbing, we can go to the movies and see a chick flick or something. We can go out to eat and I've been craving for Indian food strange enough.
I blame Raj for that.
"What movies do you guys want to see?" I asked them as I poured glasses of red wine for them. Not for myself, sadly. I gave the glasses to the girls. "There's the new Jennifer Aniston movie that's out." I suggested excitedly. I do love her movies.
"That sounds like fun," Bernadette agreed and look over to Amy. "What do you think?"
"Another chick flick?" Amy asked in a bored tone.
"What would you like to watch instead?" I asked, sighing.
She was looking on her phone and I'm sure to see what new movies were out in theaters.
"There's a movie about Jane Eyre," She said with interest and looked at us. Neither of us were too thrilled about that. I don't even remember who Jane Eyre was. Did I learn about her in school? She sounds familiar. "The Help sounds good too."
"Oooh, yeah! Let's go see that," Bernadette beamed. "I've heard that's good."
"Okay. The Help it is. That's a book, isn't it?" I asked.
"Yes. It's written by Kathryn Stockett. I haven't read it myself, but like Bernadette said, it does have pretty good reviews." Amy explained.
"Oh," I nodded in understanding. "Do any of you guys mind if we go to an Indian restaurant? I've been craving for that."
Thankfully, they were okay with the restaurant. We all got up to go and I grab my purse. We decided to go to the restaurant first because another showing of The Help would start at seven.
"How come you're not having any wine, Penny?" Amy wondered. "You would be on your second glass by now while Bernadette and I would be halfway finished on our first."
"You said you've been sick these past couple of weeks," Bernadette said. Crap. They're catching onto me. They are insanely smart biologists after all. "Did you went to the doctors to have it checked?"
"Yes and this is one of the reasons why I wanted you two to be here," Amy and Bernadette exchanged glances at each other and then looks at me being confused. "I'm pregnant."
"What?!" Both of them exclaimed in shock.
I was ready for their questions.
"How did it happen?" Bernadette asked.
"I was upset about Leonard dating Priya so I got drunk with this guy and we slept together." I explained, leaving Raj completely out of it.
"'This guy'? Do you even know who the father is?" Amy asked.
"No." I answered and they bought that. Good.
But Amy looked like she was trying to remember something. "Wait a minute. The last guy you slept with was Raj. Could it have been-"
Bernadette's eyes widen to what Amy was implying.
"No, it's not Raj!" I snapped. "It's someone else. You don't know him."
"Whoever he is, does he know?" Bernadette asked.
"No and I don't want him to," I answered. "I planned to have the baby up for adoption."
"Penny, we can help you with the pregnancy and the baby." Amy said.
"Yeah, Penny. I'm not fond of children, but I wouldn't mind watching the baby. As long as I don't have to change it's diaper or do any of the hard work." Bernadette added.
I felt touched that they would help and even Bernadette despite that she's reluctant. "That's really sweet of you guys, but maybe adoption is for the best."
"You might think you want that now, but when you get to give birth and have the baby in your arms, don't you think everything will change?" Amy asked.
Wow. That's a very good point. Honestly, I haven't thought that far ahead.
"If you're still friends with the father, I don't think it's fair for him to be in the dark." Bernadette said.
That got me thinking of Raj. Have I been too selfish about this?
"My acting career will have to go down the drain." I said in disappointment. I have to think this through. How much I will sacrifice.
"No offense, Penny, but was your acting career really going to take you anywhere?" Amy asked. "All you've been doing lately was commercials."
That stung, but she's right. I was about to move to Nebraska until my manager got me a spot for a hemorrhoids commercial.
"How can I be able to afford this? Babies are expensive. I don't even have another room to let the baby sleep in. The baby will have to sleep with me. Do you realize I might have to work two jobs?" I asked in horror. Working at The Cheesecake Factory was bad enough.
"We can still help you, Penny, with whatever you need." Bernadette said and Amy agreed.
I felt the tears prickling at my eyes at being so overwhelmed of this situation. I've been crying a lot lately. I'm usually not an easy crier. "I just don't know what to do..." I sniffed pathetically.
There was a long pause until Bernadette spoke to break the silence. "Let's get something to eat, shall we?"
Amy agreed and she helped me to get up from the chair. I got my purse and we went to the restaurant. We ordered our drinks and food and was having a great time. If only I can get my mind off of the fact I'm pregnant.
The girls advised that I should let the guys know too. That's what I'm most fearful for. Why I kept this a secret for so long.
We're all going there today for dinner which was Chinese food. I got my regular so hopefully I can stomach it. We all gathered around at our usual spots to eat. I ignored most of their conversation and Sheldon's rants. My mind was too preoccupied on other things.
"Penny?" Leonard asked me and I lifted my head to him. "You okay? You're quiet and look distracted."
I guess this is a perfect time to tell them. I put my Chinese takeout box on the table. I ate half of it and wanted to stop because I'm already feeling queasy.
"I have an announcement to make," I started which got everyone's attention. I looked at Bernadette and Amy and they both gave encouraging nods that I should continue. "I'm pregnant."
There was a moment of silence for everyone to take it all in.
"We all saw this coming. It was bound to happen." Sheldon remarked and I gave a hard glare at him. I want to hit him.
"What? How can you be pregnant?" Leonard marvelled.
"Don't you know that it takes two to tango?" Howard said suggestively. I want to hit him, too.
"I know that, Howard," He rolled his eyes without amusement. "I mean, what did you do-"
"You don't need to know everything about my life, Leonard!" I snapped at him. I instantly felt bad when I saw him cowered back in his seat, but was annoyed.
"Fine. Sorry that I cared." He muttered. He was using his fork to move his food around.
I didn't want to give any more details like I did with Bernadette and Amy. They're smart guys. They can probably put the puzzle pieces together.
"Why aren't you two shocked?" Howard asked the girls.
"We already knew." Bernadette answered.
"Penny confided to us about it on Girl's Night. She wanted to put the baby up for adoption." Amy spilled.
"Amy!" I scolded her. I didn't want them to know that yet. I don't even know what I want to do.
"What?" She looked at me. "That's what you said you wanted to do, isn't it?"
"I don't know. I thought I did, but I'm not so sure anymore."
"Where is the father in all of this?" Sheldon asked.
"I don't know. We were drunk." I answered.
"So you're not going to keep the baby?" Leonard asked, looking at me for once.
"I didn't want to, but I don't know how I can keep it," A disappointing idea came to my mind. "Unless if I move back to Nebraska and live with my parents."
I think they'd be okay with helping me out to raise the baby. They're used to having women in the family knocked up before marriage. Or they would get married and have the baby afterwards. I never wanted to be like them, but look where I'm at now. Something like this shouldn't be surprising to them.
"You can't move back to Nebraska." Amy protested.
"I don't know what else to do, Amy." I said, a bit annoyed.
"We told you. All of us can help. Right?" Bernadette asked. She looks at the others for their agreement which they did. Even Leonard.
But he doesn't know who the real father is. Would he still help out if he did?
"Thanks, guys," I wanted to feel grateful for them, but I can't because I lied. "Maybe I will keep it. I need some time to think about it."
I can't keep the lie up forever. Once the baby is born, they'll see how he or she could look similar to Raj.
After dinner was finally over with, I went to my apartment as the others left. I knew I couldn't hold it in anymore so I had to tell someone. The first person I thought of was Bernadette. Maybe she can keep the secret. But she's dating Howard and he's really close friends with Raj. Like really close. Those two should seriously get married. What if she let Howard know by accident and he would tell Raj? I don't think I can trust that.
Amy is another option. She considers me as her bestie since day one. She would do anything for me. Hopefully she would keep this secret. I managed to catch her in time before she walked downstairs to leave.
"I really need to talk to you about something." I told her urgently.
"What is it?" Amy asked.
I was afraid the guys would overhear. The door was closed, but still. We had to go to my apartment to talk about it. I closed the door behind her.
"I know I can't keep this as a secret forever cause it's literally killing me. I figure I can tell one person and I trust you."
"Tell me what, Penny?" She asked seriously and with concern.
"I lied, okay? I know who the father is. It's Raj." I revealed.
"I knew it!" She points an accusing finger at me.
"How can you know?" I asked as if were ridiculous.
"It's rather quite obvious because of the timing. Studies have shown it is generally less likely for two partners to remember condoms while they're in an intoxicated state."
"But we did use condoms! Either it didn't work or broke or...I don't know!" I was frustrated not knowing. I had to plead with her to keep her promise. "Amy, swear to me you won't tell anyone!"
"How long are you going to have this hidden from Rajesh, Penny?"
"Until I'm ready to tell him. Can you please promise?"
She sighed and I know she was unwilling to agree with this, but she said. "I promise. I do feel flattered that you told me first and not Bernadette."
"I thought I can trust you. She's with Howard and I thought it'd be too risky because he's best friends with Raj."
"Good point. We all know she's not too swift when it comes to lying. Remember that autocorrect misinterpretation while she was out with Howard, Priya, and Leonard?"
"Astronaut and architect. Yeah, I remember."
"How do you plan on telling Rajesh?"
"I don't know! I haven't thought that far ahead. Don't pressure me." I feel overwhelmed with having so much to do and I don't know where to start.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'll give you time to think things over. Text me if you need me." Amy said and was leaving.
For a couple of times, I thought of calling Raj and to get it over with. But how pathetic would that be? To tell him he's my baby's father on the phone? I should do it in person. Not right now. I managed to tell of them while they're in the same apartment. That was bad enough. I couldn't even look at Raj at all while I was talking about it. He was also quiet too and didn't whisper anything to Howard's ear or nothing. Maybe he has a hint of what's going on.
I hope not.