Oh, AppleSnapple!
A/N: Chapter 2! Oh my! I can't wait to see what happens next! Oh yes, please note that the title of the story has changed. I was not pleased with the previous title and have thus adopted this shorter version :D
Disclaimer: I do not own KH .
Chapter 2: Deforest it all!
"No, no, no, no, no!" Roxas intoned, shaking his head, arms crossed, as Axel literally dragged him across the forest, towards their village. "How dare you even propose that we leave the safety of our forest to make friends with a species who, in the first place, does not even think we exist? And, according to them, if we were real then surely we are five inch tall, angry creatures who spread pixie dust everywhere and wear clothing made from leaves and flowers!"
"Well, we just have to prove the stereotype wrong, Rox," Axel insisted, continuing to drag his poor friend by the arm, "Besides, we look just like them! They'll never even know!"
"And I suppose they won't suspect a thing when they see your hair burst into flames?" Roxas questioned, arching his eyebrow.
"Even I'm capable of controlling my temper, Roxas," Axel reassured his friend, slowing his pace now that they were approaching their village. "Absolutely nothing is going to happen, I wholeheartedly assure you."
"Flying dandelions!" Roxas swore, "You know as well as I do that something always happens!"
"Chill out!" Axel cried, "We'll blend in perfectly!"
"And now you're even talking like them! If your father were to hear you using human slang!" Roxas exclaimed, yanking himself from Axel's grasp, turning around and stalking toward his home.
"Oh, I understand now," Axel called to the receding Roxas, "You're afraid of HUMANS, aren't you?"
Roxas stopped in his tracks and stiffened. He merely turned around, eyes full of menace, and glared at Axel with all the hate he could muster. Sighing, Axel responded to the glare with a shrug, shaking his head in exasperation. "If you really aren't afraid... Then I guess you just don't want that limited edition book..." Axel trailed off thoughtfully.
"What...book?" Roxas hissed, eyes narrowing.
"You know... That book..." Axel mused, hand on his chin.
"What. Dewdropping. Book," Roxas venomously asked again.
"Hmmm, now what was it called...?" Axel wondered out loud, looking up at the sky. "Oh yes, it was that autographed copy of the legendary fairy, written by the one and only Ansem, the legendary FAIRY WRITER HIMSELF!" Axel shook his fist in the air in triumph.
"You mean... The one that reached the top of the best seller's list in the human world? The one that isn't available in fairy bookstores?" Roxas almost screeched.
" Yes, my dear friend," Axel smiled smugly, "Right you are. The only way for you to get your hands on that book would be to come with me to the human world. And if Ansem could pass himself off as human, them why can't we?"
Roxas wrinkled his forehead. "Well, I suppose when you put it into perspective like that..." He scratched his head and scowled.
"Good. Now get packing. I'll be over in ten minutes," Axel shoved Roxas in the direction of the younger boy's home. Axel dropped his voice to a whisper. "We leave in the dead of night."
" Axel, don't you think you might be rushing this a tad? Shouldn't we, oh, I don't know, think about this? Plan a bit?" Roxas exclaimed, slamming his suitcase onto his bed. Despite the bribery, Roxas was quite obviously not very happy about his friend's devious plan. He continued angrily, "For instance, where are we going? How are we getting there? What will we do once we reach our destination? How will we buy food? How will we even interact with the humans? What makes you think they speak forest fairy?"
" Roxas," Axel said calmly, waving his hands in the air, "Be sensible. First of all, you know as well as I do that we can easily use magic to cross the language barrier. Secondly, my father has immense contacts in human society. I'll just do a little name dropping and everything will be taken care of. It will be, as the humans say, a piece of cake!"
Roxas just scowled and threw another pair of boxers into his suitcase.
"Don't forget to pack the socks I knit for you Roxy dear!" Axel squealed, imitating Roxas's mother. "I made especially sure to buy yarn in your favorite shade of blue!" Roxas glared at Axel and threw a pair of socks at him.
"Those are dirty, by the way", Roxas commented off-handedly as Axel grimaced and slowly removed a smoldering purple sock from where it had landed in his hair. Axel held his nose as he tossed the smoking garment into Roxas's fishbowl.
"King Lear!" Roxas cried, jumping off his bed and running to save his pet goldfish. "APPLESNAPPLE!" he yelled, grabbing the tip of the smoldering sock that was sticking out over the edge of the fishbowl. "AXEL!" Roxas bellowed furiously as he ran to the bathroom and threw the now flaming sock into the sink, drenching it in water. "OW!"
Roxas reemerged from the doorway, shaking his hand in the air fervently, "That was BURNING HOT, Axel. What if you had killed poor King Lear?" He glared at his friend, who was doubled over on Roxas' bed, laughing hysterically.
"You…King Lear…Sock…Face…HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAAHHAHAA!" Axel managed to spit out between his fits of laughter.
"That's it. I'm not going. Find another feather-fluffing travelling companion," Roxas declared, "I could not possibly care less about this little excursion."
"Roxas! This is most unfair!" Axel exclaimed upon viewing the serious expression on Roxas's face. "I apologize! I certainly should not have thrown that flaming sock at poor old King Lear! Do forgive me!"
"Axel," Roxas began calmly, checking his rage, "In light of our devoted friendship of 21 years I say most respectfully: Do go and biodegrade yourself"
"DEFOREST IT ALL, ROXAS!" Axel stood up, "Don't you want a little adventure?"
"No, Axel, I am quite content as I am!" Roxas spluttered, "The last thing I want is to venture out into a city inhabited by creatures that cut down our forest and would rather believe in a chubby old man who flies through the sky delivering gifts to the world's children all in one night than in you or I!"
"That chubby old man is my great-uncle, Roxas."
"Well… that's besides the point!" Roxas turned away in defiance.
"Listen, Rox," Axel said calmly, "It will only be for two or three days. We'll sneak in, stay at my father's favorite hotel, scope out the area, and come home! No one will find out we're… different. And besides, if they can believe in Uncle Clause, then they can certainly believe in us."
"No," Roxas replied grumpily, standing his ground and turning back to face Axel.
"Roxas."
"N. O. Applesnappling no."
"Ahem. Remember the book?"
"The… book."
"Yes. The book."
"…"
"Roxas."
"Oh, deforestation!" Roxas cried out, "Two days, Axel! Two days and then we're coming back home!"
"Of course! Now finish packing!" Axel gestured to Roxas's suitcase, "Pack a few extra clothes just in case, but I guarantee you, there's no way we'll be there more than two days… just enough to satisfy my curiosity…"