Chapter 2-My life as a criminal

Flashback- life in New York

"You are on lookout duty, the older man grabbed Dan hard pulling him off his feet. Dan knew not to resist or counter this type of treatment because it would get much worse. "Don't screw up Mangan, or you'll have me to answer to", he gave Dan a hard slap across the face just to get his message across.

This guy was in his early twenties, he was not a cowhand himself being from another gang. Dan knew even Luke was afraid of him and did not dare cross the guy. He did though enjoy the benefits working with the man brought, usually money , food or personal items.

Dan had noted that what he wanted them to do this time was more risky than the other 2 times he had called on the gangs help. Tonight they were joining, 'the big leagues". That meant undertaking a riskier crime. Dan was not getting involved in the actual theft, but still had an important job, being lookout for the gang. He had to keep watch over the area and alert the gang if he saw anyone coming.

Fighting to swallow his fear, he made himself follow after the gang. His legs and mind were telling him firmly to run now why he still had the chance. But where would he go. He had no friends or family that would take in a boy who had begun a life as a criminal. Running away would also bring swift consequences from the cowhands and the guy who was leading them tonight. They would not kill him but what they would do would be extremely painful. He knew that from seeing them work over another youth. They had done it in front of him, making sure he knew that it could happen to him if he ever crossed them.

"You go up there Dan", Luke pointed to a position on top of one of the buildings. "There's a good view of the warehouse from all sides, warn us if you see trouble." Stay alert", he warned him as he pulled him closer using his superior strength to convey menace without words. "After this Dan, your initiation will be done, and you'll be truly one of us", Luke smiled at him, like he was giving him a truly valuable gift.

Dan knew this association was going to lead somewhere bad. But part of him did not care. There was a hole inside him he believed nothing could ever fill. These boys were his family now and he had to do what they said.

Climbing nimbly to the top of the squat building Dan found he did indeed get a good view of the warehouse and the surrounding streets. He kept the walkie talkie firmly in his pocket knowing it was only for use in an emergency. He sat on that building eyes trained on the street below.

The others would be looking for the best place to break into the warehouse. There were only other warehouses in this district so it was not a well populated area at night. It did have large areas of lighting that made sections of the place look as bright as day. This was all theft deterent put in place by the owners. It was not being much use tonight. He wondered what was inside the warehouses and whether he'd ever get any of the benefits from selling the items. As the newest member of the gang he just got what was left. He'd have to fight for more. That was what living on the streets was about, fighting for survival.

After awhile Dan found himself feeling tired, his mind had been too busy going over his problems. It was hard to continue to train his concentration on the streets below. He thought briefly of his dead mother and how she would disapprove of his actions. 'You should not have died and left me alone then mother", he told her silently. He felt a horrible grief rise up within him then, that almost crippled him. Tears began to blur his eyes. He had not cried once yet, he realized. Not when he found his mother's body and not when that body was taken away. All he had been was numb and shocked. Before anyone had thought about asking him too many questions he had drifted away into the streets , not knowing where he was going. He had met up with the gang that very day and they had taken him in.

Thinking about them snapped his attention back to the warehouse. He noted the fact that there was a dark nondescript car circling around the streets behind the building. Training his eyes upon that car, he watched its movement. It was not stopping just patrolling the area, like it was waiting for something. The car could possibly be a detectives car . Yet should he warn the others when all it was doing was circling. Possibly the occupants had no definite location in mind but were just crusing the area to see if anything was going down. He glanced back at the warehouse and gasped, while watching the car he had failed to notice several people converging on the warehouses location. Belatedly he realized that was the whole purpose of the car, distraction . The authorities would know there must be a lookout and were using a decoy to draw attention away. He had screwed up.

But perhaps he could still save things. Taking up the walkie talkie, he warned the others. He waited a second to see what was happening. The people below were coming in faster , maybe they had radios as well and had found their frequency and overheard him. The sense of danger rose up within him as their torch cut through the darkness. One flickered up onto his rooftop location illuminating him for all to see. The people were still far enough away that perhaps they had not seen him clearly. He had to get away as quickly as possible. He took one look back at the warehouse and saw the others running fast into the shadowed areas. Running to the other side of the roof, Dan slid himself downward. He hit the ground seconds later and began to run. The darkness was now his friend, as he kept within the shadowed parts of the surrounding buildings. There did not seem to be anyone chasing him and Dan found himself partially relaxing. All he had to do was get out of here and find somewhere to hide until everything cooled down. Turning another corner Dan froze as he heard gun fire. Seconds later the man who had been leading them was outlined in the bright area just a few hundred metres from his hiding place. Dan could see the light glinting off the weapon in his hand. "Freeze", the instruction came loudly and with a definite harshness. The man in front of him did not freeze blindly firing his gun into the shadows. When anwering gun fire rained Dan found himself unable to look away as tonight's leader fell to the ground. Dan found himself screaming in fear for just a second. He cursed as he realized that mistake would have revealed his position. Turning back the way he came Dan ran faster than he ever had. Yet it felt like he was not really going fast enough. He heard running feet behind him and tried to put on an extra burst of speed. It was not enough as the running feet closed the distance quickly and soon he felt his legs buckle as his pursuer tackled him from behind. He fell to the ground and lay still for a moment until he felt the weight upon him shift slightly. Dan was acting as though he was beaten in order to give himself one chance to escape. Darkness lay ahead of him and he believed he could lose his purser if he had another opportunity.

Bucking himself upward Dan hit out at the man who had pinned him to the ground with all the force he was capable off. It was not enough as it did not shift the man from his legs. He heard an angry snarl."That's quite enough of that, you are under arrest", that man told him as he gripped his arms harshly and forced them down. Soon he felt the cold metal of cuffs being placed around his wrists.

After being pulled up Dan found himself being dragged to a patrol car then pushed inside. It was here that the detective holding him got his first good look at his captive. "You're just a kid", he muttered. Dan threw him a definite glare and said, "I will not rat on any of my friends".

The detective scowled back, "so young but old enough for them to condition you." We'll see if your tough guy persona holds out after a few hours in the cells". Dan did not try to claim innocence as his black jacket clearly proclaimed what he was. If they had other evidence apart from finding him in the area of a robbery in progress then he was in big trouble. Belately he realized that trying to escape and hitting his captive was assault, a charge he would not be able to escape from. The courts he knew took a dim view of attacking officers of the law. He told himself he did not care if he was locked in jail, at least he'd be safe from any comebacks from the gang.

Yet sitting in a patrol car in cuffs being driven through the streets was having a sobering effect. He tried hard not to show his panic as he was taken into the nearest precinct. The place was busy at this time of night, around him were others, all in cuffs. He was the youngest in the room. "So whats your name kid", the detective asked him. Dan kept his mouth shut. The detective sighed, "still a tough guy ",well lets see what your prints tells us".

He did not resist as his prints were taken, knowing they were not yet on record, though of course that would change tonight. He was then put in a room instead of a cell, since he was underage.

There he sat while the night ticked away. The detective came back with a uniformed officer roughly one hour later, "so not on record then", he looked over Dan soberly, "either you're clever, or a new recruit", he prodded. Still Dan said nothing. 'Cooperating will make things go easier kid. If you give us your name we would be able to contact someone who may help you", the officer told him. Once again Dan felt the grief well up, "there isn't anyone, my parents are both dead", he said softly unable to help the quaver in his voice. For the first time he saw the look in the detectives eyes change, there was a mixture of sadness and understanding there.

He went away a few minutes later leaving him with the uniformed officer. "I guess he's gone to contact social services", Dan muttered numbly. The officer cast him a glance, "actually he's gone to find out if you are right about having no one ".

It was actually 2 days later when Dan found out how that search had gone. "You did not mention your sister had a sibling", the detective stated. He was looking at Dans face and saw nothing register. The uncle had been shocked by the news he had nephew, but was this young man equally as shocked. The detective admitted he had a good poker face. He guessed whatever had happened between the siblings was none of his business. All that did matter was that Dan Mangan was going to get a second chance.

Xxxxxxxx

Recent times - Maypenny's cottage

Dan tried to chase the memories from his mind so he could get back to sleep. But once again sleep was elusive. His body and mind were both tired. But they were used to staying awake at night and still adapting to the change. He stared up at the wooden beams above his head. This was a stranger's home and he wondered how his uncle had convinced Maypenny to take him in. The old man was tough yet he was also fair. Dan guessed they had chosen him for that reason. His uncle was also tough, yet did not quite have the age that made that toughness more than just fear.

Dan had certainly not tried that hard to get to know his uncle . But he knew he had to make the effort, because while uncle Bill had not known about him, he had known he had an uncle. Why his mother had never tried to contact Bill was a conversation he was not ready to have yet.

Once again he tried to shake off all the issues that were facing him and try to get some sleep. He stared at the beams in the ceiling and tried to still his mind. Finally his eyes fluttered shut and he drifted off to sleep.

Xxxx

Dan awoke the next day still feeling tired. He forced himself out of bed, got dressed and went to meet Maypenny. The old woodsman was showing him how to patrol the preserve. Of course it would be faster if he was mounted. He knew it was only a matter of time before the discussion about a horse came up. Maybe if he said he'd prefer a motorbike his uncle would be so annoyed he'd back off the discussion. But that, he knew was not fair. He'd just have to deal with the situation when it arose.

There was a lot to learn in the preserve from how to full the feed stations to finding your way around the trails. Dan had never gotten lost in the city but out here every tree had started off looking the same. That was beginning to change now as Maypenny taught him to recognize minute differences in each tree. There was old nobby, the tree with many bare places where branches had once been, then there was tree bottom, the tree with a lot of green stuff growing in a circle around the base.

It was kind of exciting to find out that trees were like people, each one different and unique. Dan found that he mostly treaded silently now as well, not breaking sticks as he moved forward. You did not want to attract attention from the wrong sort of animal out here so Dan had made sure that silent movement was one of the things he had learnt first.

He realized for one thrilling minute that Maypenny had left him alone. Of course he could run off into the bushes, but he had that same question within his mind , where would he go. So he simply filled the feeder station in front of him and returned back to where the old woodsman was waiting.

"You're doing well Dan", Maypenny praised him. Dan found a smile coming to his face. Some things about being here were not as difficult as he had thought they might be. He was adapting some of the knowledge he'd gained on the streets for a different purpose.

As they walked back to the cabin Dan found himself feeling relaxed for the first time in what seemed like a very long time. That relaxation melted away when he saw the horse tethered outside Maypenny's cabin and realized his uncle was visiting.

Walking close to Dan, Henry Maypenny picked up the change in his body posture. "I'm sure he's just come to share a drink with you before you go to school", the woodsman soothed. Dan ,he noted was always nervous around his uncle, perhaps because as yet he'd only seen one side of Bill Regan, the brooding quick tempered one. There was another side there that was ready to embrace Dan, yet nerves were also holding hm back.

He knew he had a little work to do to get both of them to feel comfortable with each other.

Bill was waiting in front of the fire when they entered. His pale cheeks were reddened as he sat enjoying the fires warmth. "It is a cold one", he said in an opener. Now that rather obvious comment should have brought forth some sarcastic comment from Dan. Yet he was too nervous to offer one. If talking about the weather helped this conversation along, then he'd join in as well."Yes, it feels colder here than in the city", he offered. There he'd actually said something, semi intelligent. His uncle he noted immediately looked concerned, "have I given you enough warm clothing Dan", he asked seriously. Dan just nodded.

"Come join me by the fire", Bill Regan then offered. Dan went over and found warmth rapidly entering his body. He had not even realized how cold he had been until that moment. "I feel that we are in for a very bad spell of cold weather", Maypenny remarked as he joined in the familiar theme. "Yeah well it always pays to be prepared", Bill acknowledged. He was concluding that weather based conversation quickly so he could talk to Dan about other things before he left for school. As Dan sat next to him and Maypenny silently went to prepare them a warm drink Bill found himself studying his nephew.

Dan still looked too thin . He had been given a thorough medical exam before he'd come to Sleepyside and the doctors had told him that Dan had not been getting adequate nutrition . They'd also found signs that he had suffered more than one beating. The doctor had said in rather a matter of fact voice that it was something that often happened to those who joined gangs.

All that had scared him but he had been relieved to find out Dan had not begun to experiment with drugs. That in his under nourished state would have shortened his life quickly, the doctor had told him.

It was all sobering knowledge that made Regan feel like he was out of his depth. Although he too had lived rough for awhile, he'd met people who rather than hurting him had helped him through that time. It was now time to help Dan. Yet it was hard to know where to start. "Just talk to him, involve him in decisions about his life", that had been Helen Belden's advice. So he pulled out a little booklet, "I know I have this competition coming up and I'll be busy, but I still want to spend as much time as I can with you", Bill said to Dan. "Eventually you will need a horse to help you patrol the reserve and I want you to choose that horse". He opened the little booklet and showed Dan some horse pictures.

To Dan it was like being hit with a stick, no matter what he seemed unable to escape some of his fears. Just tell him, a little voice said in his head. Yet when he looked at the expression on his uncles face, the warmth and delight about including him in this process, he could not.

So he decided to do something else, stall. Sucking in the fear he forced himself to look at the pictures. He had to admit, some of the horses were very handsome, yet he could not bring himself to think about actually riding one himself. So he claimed none of them were adequate. His uncle did not protest too much just saying he'd bring another book to look at in a couple of days.

Dan was unaware that Maypenny had come in the room and placed warm drinks in front of them. He was also unaware that the woodsman had just seen the tremors that ran through his body and finally understood them.

When his uncle had gone off feeling happier for talking with him Maypenny said in a soft voice, "you're afraid of horses". Dan lowered his eyes, he'd like to deny what the man said but could not.

"You should tell him", the woodsman said gently. Dan immediately shook his head, "how can I", he said sadly, "it's obvious they are a big part of my uncles life. They have given him ,knowledge ,a life, he really does not want to hear that I don't share his passion". Dan found himself putting his head in his hands, "anyway", he mumbled from within his hands," its not that I hate them, its just that….",he broke off.

Maypenny was amazed Dan was being so honest. He could be rather like a clam ,all closed off and hard to get to know. But his recent fright with Luke had opened the flood gates to release some almost forgotten emotions. He prodded the conversation forward with one word, "what". "I suppose it is like with people, I have met some horses that put me off ever having another one in my life", Dan told him.

He was still not looking at the woodsman. It was easier this way to contain the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. Maypenny was surprised, Dan had just hinted that he'd had some knowledge of horses in the past. So he may know more than he was letting on to those around him. It was because those experiences had not been positive. In fact he'd say from Dan's reaction that they had instilled fear within him. He could tell Dan was not going to share more about those experiences either. So he had yet another thing to overcome. "Are you going to tell him", Dan asked softly. "No, that should be your job . I think he would understand Dan. But it is up to you to decide whether to keep shutting us out or to reach out. We want to fight for you, but we do need your help", Maypenny said firmly.

He began to wonder if Dan was fighting too many battles, it seemed fear still controlled his life. There was a lot of support for him here. But ultimately it was Dan's choice about which path he took. As they went out to wait for the school bus Henry hoped Dan would chose to tell his uncle everything.