A/N: Okay, so apparently, I now have more ideas for this story. Have you ever noticed that there aren't really any stories about Allen's really early life? I can't actually think of any that go into detail at all. One or two that pass it over a little, mostly from Crown Clown's POV, and one that's an AU of Mana with Allen that covers some. That's all.

Thanks to XHikariSoraX and Shaveza for reviewing!

Title: Cold Days

Author: liketolaugh

Rating: T

Pairings: None

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Child abandonment

Summary: Allen never says it, but he's always heard Crown Clown, inside his head. Because that might lead to questions about why Crown Clown was always there, and that would lead to questions about his early life. Before the Order. Before Mana. Before Red. (In a time when Allen is too young to take care of himself, Crown Clown cares for both of them.)

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.

Pressed tight into a dark corner, hidden from his surroundings by nothing but a well-placed barrel, Demon felt a harsh, biting pain in his stomach and whimpered softly.

He pressed himself closer to the wall, apprehensive grey eyes on the mouth of the alley, ragged, too-big brown shirt rustling and brushing across torn-up pants, both stolen from a bin.

Demon was hungry, very hungry, but he didn't, didn't, didn't want to go out, no he didn't. Because humans hated Demon and Demon was afraid of humans, yes he was.

Baby, you have to eat.

Voice liked Demon. Voice said he loved Demon, and Demon thought he loved Voice too, and he knew Voice would be sad if Demon stayed here.

So Demon had to go.

Demon hesitantly crept out from behind his barrel, flinching as the light hit him. What if humans saw Demon? Demon didn't want seen!

He nearly flinched back into the dark, but Voice said sharply,

Find food.

Demon whimpered but obeyed, creeping out and peeking at the street.

There were humans there, but none looking, so Demon darted for the next alley over, and when he looked back, no one was glaring, and he took a deep breath.

That's it, Voice encouraged, soft and patient now. Steady, now. You can do it.

Yes, Demon liked Voice.

He did that three more times before he reached the food place, but then he let the hunger take him and dove for the bin, wriggling desperately. Food, food…

There!

Demon wasn't sure whether that had been him or Voice or both, but his good hand closed around it just as a hand closed around the back of his shirt and yanked him up and he cried out helplessly.

No!

That was definitely Voice, panicked as it cried out with him, and Demon was thrown to the ground, crying out again as his head hit the ground hard enough to bring tears to his eyes and stars to his sight.

Then his eyes focused on the huge human above him, glaring down, and a whimper caught in his throat.

He'd been caught.

"You again!" the human spat. Demon's eyes widened in horror, and Voice went very quiet. "Get away from my fucking property, you little demon freak, and leave my rubbish bins alone!"

Demon whimpered and tried to scramble back, hiding his find in his overlarge shirt. He was met with a kick in the chest that sent him flying a few feet away, and he screamed, half in pain and half in terror.

"I sorry! I sorry!" he pleaded.

"Shut up!" snarled the human, kicking him again, silencing Demon.

Don't say sorry! Voice said fiercely. He should be sorry! You did nothing wrong!

"Worthless monster!" the human snarled, kicking him with each insult. "Awful freak! Disgusting demon!"

Demon was crying, the pain and the yelling and the words hurting him, scaring him, he wanted it to stop.

"What in hell did your mother sleep with?" the human continued, only gearing up further. "She spread her legs for the first monster that would take her, you son of a bitch?"

There was a ringing in Demon's ears and he felt dizzy and he was scared and hurt and he wanted it to stop, stop, stop.

"Just die, you thrice-forsaken freak!"

Demon sobbed, and his arm burned, and he hurt and Voice said coldly,

Enough. Baby, get up.

Demon tried to get up, tried to listen to Voice, but he hurt and he was dizzy and the human hit him and he fell down.

Get up!

Demon tried again. The human kicked him.

GET UP!

Demon screamed and lashed out and screamed and the human fell down with a harsh grunt and then Demon got up and took off at a stumbling, stuttering run, crying and scared.

Everyone hated Demon. Everyone hurt Demon. Demon mustn't be seen, mustn't be heard, humans hated, hated, hated Demon, Demon shouldn't, shouldn't be alive, no no no…

Humans cried out and flinched away as he ran by, gasping and sometimes screaming. Demon noticed, he always noticed, and he cried harder, gasping for breath, heart racing and breath fast and shallow.

Finally, Demon collapsed back into his corner, sobbing quietly, and Voice murmured soothingly in his ear, sh, sh…

Finally, Demon's breath hitched and his crying slowed to a stop. He sat up and rubbed his tears away, biting his lip.

Do you still have your food? Voice asked quietly, sensing that Demon was okay now.

Demon felt inside his shirt and nodded, pulling it out and looking down.

It was an apple, half-there and fuzzy in places, but good to eat. Demon wouldn't have to go back out there, not today and not tomorrow.

Slowly, Voice cautioned, as Demon brought the apple to his mouth. He nodded and bit into it. Chew it carefully, baby.

Demon obeyed, concentrating on the fuzzy, mushy food in his mouth.

Swallow, Voice coached, strangely sad.

Demon swallowed with difficulty. It was getting easier, but he could still remember when it was hard. It was still kind of hard, because he didn't do it very often. It wasn't often that he needed food enough to risk going out.

Soon, the apple was gone, and Demon played with the seeds (which Voice had told him not to eat), laying them in the deep wrinkles of his demon hand and picking them back out to rearrange them.

Should I die? Demon asked Voice, not daring to speak aloud lest someone hear him.

No, Voice insisted, like it always did. Never think that you deserve to die, baby. None of those people deserve life more than you do. Don't think that way. Please.

Okay, Demon replied quietly, and continued playing with the seeds.

Once, I was sad.

Once, I was scared.

I wasn't originally intending to go any further, but the general concept wouldn't go out of my mind and... yeah. *glances up* No wonder Allen doesn't talk about his early life, huh? Thanks for reading and please review!