Author's note: I don't own anything people! I wanted to thank the reviewer's from 'Wingardium leviosa" and 'Pride is Something You Won't see in my Eyes' since they are one-shots and I haven't had the chance to thank them yet . I skipped two years in this story because I didn't know what else to do with baby Draco and decided to go for toddler Draco , I hope you like it, and PLEASE R&R people!

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If I look back I'm lost

So I don't, I will continue this until the story reaches its end. In the years Draco was a baby everything went normal. For one reason or another, after the sleeping potion incident Draco didn't cry anymore. He was silent at night and the problems Lucius and I might have had were gone and not to be spoken of again. My little son was running around. His second birthday was that very day and he couldn't help but try and run to the gifts that stood by his chair in the dining room. He almost tripped a few times but eventually he reached the presents. The moment Draco touched one of them Lucius came in. I hadn't heard him come in but apparently Draco had. The boy turned around as fast as his young body would allow it and looked up at his father with eyes shining with delight. Lucius was almost never home, he was away on business trips and when he wasn't he left early in the morning and came home very late. Either way Draco didn't see his father very much.

"Daddy," the boy said smiling and he wobbled over to his father.

"It's father Draco, You know how I think about that word, it's juvenile."

First of all, Draco had no idea what the word juvenile meant and even if he did, Draco didn't listen to sentences longer than five words; second of all Draco was two he was a child. There's nothing more juvenile then a two-year-old. But I kept my mouth shut. It wouldn't hurt anybody if Draco said Father instead of daddy.

Anyway Draco didn't seem to mind and was still on his way to his father. When he almost reached his father, Lucius sneered and took a step back as if Draco had a contagious disease or something.

"I need to go, but first, this," he took his wand and swished it in the direction of the pile with gifts. The pile rumbled and then something packed in a dark green giftwrap floated toward Draco. He looked up with big eyes at his father.

"Oh look at that!" I said as soon as Draco had ripped of the giftwrap. "It's a broomstick! Say thank you to father, will you?" The happy boy turned around, mouth open already to thank his father for the gift, but he turned towards an empty hallway, Lucius had already left. I saw tears glimmering in my son's eyes. He didn't see Lucius often but when he did it was for a few minutes, never longer, it was as if Lucius didn't like his son. I knew better of course. Lucius had told me long ago it was tradition for a Father not to be involved in the child's upbringing until they reached the age of four. He had even told me giving a birthday gift personally was something he shouldn't have done. I knew Lucius loved his son, but it was as if he didn't want Draco to find out about it. Like he saw it as a weakness to love your own flesh and blood.

To distract him from his father I said: "Come on let's try it out," His attention was with the broomstick again. I knew the broomstick didn't go higher than a meter above the ground so I didn't mind when Draco took the broomstick outside the fly.

Soon Draco was giggling and the whole father-thing was forgotten. Eventually I had to practically drag Draco inside because he wanted to keep flying even though it was almost afternoon. The rest of his birthday was spent trying to get Draco focused on something else than the broomstick. How was I to know how much trouble that broomstick was going to cause?

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A week later Draco was still obsessed with his broom and I was beginning to worry it wasn't normal. He was still flying the broom when Lucius came home. It was one of those rare days he was home at midday. Normally he would greet and kiss me murmuring something about the Ministry but now something interrupted the ritual. I had been watching Draco from the window when Lucius came home and just when he was about to kiss me we both heard a cry. We exchanged a look for less than a second and then we both Apparated outside. The sight made my heart stop. My only son was lying on the ground, sobbing and for once not screaming, showing me it was serious. He was curled up on the ground and I don't remember who was with him first but I remember cradling his head trying to hush him, whispering soothing words in his ear. I took out my wand but another hand grabbed mine.

"No," It was nothing more than a whisper but it had more impact on me than shouting could ever have. I turned my head around so quickly I felt dizzy but I ignored it.

"What? No!" I had intended to shout and wry but it came out as much as a whisper as the word my dear husband had uttered.

"Go inside," he said. His face didn't betray any emotion, like it was made out of stone but in his eyes I could see a determination I had only seen a few times in those eyes. Every time it meant nothing good for at least one person. Now, I regret listening to the command but then again I regret many things.

Slowly I stood and walker away all the while a voice In my head was screaming at me to go back, not to listen but for a reason I cannot explain, I kept walking. In this dazed state I went upstairs, to my room but as soon as I stood in front of my door I felt like I woke up from a bad dream. I turned around and ran back cursing myself, why had I listened? Why had I left my little boy? But when I came outside both my husband and son were gone. The only thing that indicated this had not been a dream was the broomstick that lay on the grass.